I have not gone back to work. I don't leave my kids out my sight even though Kye seemed sincere.

I am paranoid.

You can't blame me.

Kye left earlier this morning. Kyle is being home schooled and currently I am looking for preschool programs for Khlo.

My birthday is in two weeks. This will be the first birthday I don't celebrate it with Selena. I know she was a pile of shit, but I loved her so much.

I miss her everyday. I fee like everything I had to remember her by is leaving. I no longer live in New York with her. No longer do I keep in contact with Haley, Henry, or Aunty Rachel.

Most nights I just want to cry in self pity. Growing up I used to have thoughts of taking my life, and honestly speaking the only reason I have not is because of the kids.

I've come to a point where I have become a robot. I gave up on my dreams of owning my own business and being a celebrity hairstylist. I am no longer happy. I just go through a routine everyday.

"Mommy"

Khlo calls me.

I see her bring a book to me.

"Mommy Lai. Please and thank you read."

She says while already climbing into my lap.

I turn off the TV and spread my legs open on the living room floor.

Khloe brings at least 9 books for me to read.

"I'm hungry."

Khloe tells me, and I realize in a few hours it will be dinner time.

Rosealina is on vacation.

I go in the fridge and give her my turkey sandwich Kye made me last night.

I make a sandwich for Kyle too, and call him down.

"How was class today?"

I ask him.

He smiles and enthusiastically tells me about what he learned.

I take out chicken from the fridge that is already seasoned and fry it.

I also steam some vegetables and make mashed potatoes.

The whole time I cook, Kyle and Khlo tell me about their day.

As I finish Kye walks in the door and the kids run to hug him.

He drops his brief case and pics them both up. My heart melts. He stares at me and I look away.

I take out the food for the kids first, and a plate of food for him.

I put it in the dinning table along with a pitcher of water and cups.

They go to the dining table and I go to the kitchen to clean up my mess.

By the time I'm finish cleaning they are finish eating.

Kye is no longer in work clothes, but pajamas and my kids are in his lap watching TV with him.

I can't stop observing how much they love him... or that the way he loves them too.

At least I know that if he does decide to take them away from me, they will be happy.

I look away in thought, and feel his eyes on me.

I wait till the kids are in my bed to shower. They still only sleep in my bed. A habit I'm wondering wether they will ever discontinue.

I shower in I'm bathroom and change in to my pajamas.

I sit in my chair and watch them sleep.

There is a slight knock on the door and I walk out and close the door behind me.

Before I know it, Kye grabs my hands and walks me downstairs to the kitchen.

I see there is a plate of food taken out for me.

"You need to eat."

He states in a no nonsense tone.

"I already brushed my teeth."

I jump when his fist bang the table.

"Please comeback to us. I don't recognize you anymore. Stop behaving like this."

I am surprised by the emotion in his face.

I walk towards the food and eat.

"I'm sorry."

He states as I eat.

I eat almost a half of my food at out the rest in the fridge.

"If you ever take my kids away from me, I will take away everything you love."

I walk away and he grabs my wrist.

"Is that a threat?"

"A promise."

I look into his eyes so he sees I'm serious.

"I won't kill you because I know my kids love you, but I'll make you wish for death if you ever destroy me like that."

He let's go of my wrist and I walk towards the sink to get the sponge. I wipe down the counter.

Kye's eyes are on me the whole time.

"How do I gain back that trust?"

I shrug my shoulders because I do not know.

"You hurt me more than anyone can hurt me."

He turns me so that I am facing him and wraps his arms around me.

"I'm an idiot."

He states into my ears.

He is so close.

He kisses my cheek and I blush.

"What's your guilty pleasure food?"

He asks me.

"Cheese because I'm lactose intolerant."

I respond and he chuckles.

"What about you?"

I ask and he stares at me for a while.

"Caramel."

He states.

"What's wrong with caramel?"

I tease him by turning around so that my but is not just facing him but touching his crotch.

"As satisfying as it is, I just cannot get enough."

"So you're obsessed with caramel."

"I'm in love with caramel."

"So in love that you'll do anything to have it..."

I feel his mouth by my ears.

"I thought that was the best solution."

I turn my head.

"Clearly you did not think."

"Love makes us stuck on stupid."

"Clearly."

He groans out my name.

"Please forgive me."

I nod my head.

"I lost a lot of respect for you... and trust."

I move out his grip and go to my room to brush my teeth.

....

I have one day until my birthday. I don't know what I will be doing. Kye's parents should be here any moment now. I have not seen them since almost 5 weeks which was the trip to New Zealand.

I am always so happy to see Alicia. She is now the closest thing to a mother I have since I no longer am in contact with Aunty Rachel.

Trenton is also on his way to see them. I am happy since Kye does not bring Trenton over here anymore.

Rosealina is still on vacation so Kye and I are basically the ones that cooked everything. That man can cook.

We have not been intimate since his fuck up. That means it's been a total of almost 5 weeks.

I had to invest in panty liners because of how moist he makes me.

He has shaved the sides of his hair a little but grown the top. He always smells so good, and he is always staring at me. I can't tell you how hard it was not to be affect by him while cooking. I'm glad he has not made advances on me, because I don't know if I would be able to fight it or if I'm ready for that. I still am affected by what he did. I still watch my kids in the night to make sure they are still there.

I've missed a lot of that trust I had for him.

That's another reason I am proud his mom is coming she always knows what to say.

I look at my clothes and decide I should probably put effort in my wardrobe.

I change from my sweats to a jeans dress.

My hair is sleeked into a ponytail and I put on mascara and blistex.

I come down and am met by a blushing Kye.

He makes me blush and I roll my eyes as I look away.

The door rings and Kye walks to get it. In walks his parents, Trenton, Aunty Rachel, and Haley!

"Oh my god!"

I scream as I run and hug Aunty Rachel and Haley.

I am so happy I. Not know what to do with myself. I jump up and cry. I am so happy to see them. They wrap their arms around me and cry too.

The kids come and run towards them screaming too.

I am again shocked when I see three more people enter the door.

I nearly drop.

"Lai!"

I hear my old coworkers shout my name in unison.

I run to them.

I see Anthony, Michelle, and Christina.

We are in a big group hug and I am in just so much shock and happiness.

.....

We are in the basement. It is basically like a part venue here. There is a bar, and everything.

Kye surprised me with a big birthday cake.

Everyone sings happy birthday to me, and I swear I have not been this happy in a long ass time.

I can't help but cry while blowing my candles out. I'm so happy.

The whole night Kye gave me space to spend with everyone. Everywhere I turned he was watching me. I was surprised that he conversed with everybody- well except for Haley and aunty Rachael.

When is night time everyone goes to the guess house which is like a hotel itself. They are driven to it, and it is just Kye, me, and the kids who are sound asleep.

I shower after I tuck them into bed. I wear the nightgown Christina got me as a birthday gift.

It is red, silk and shows a lot of cleavage. It is yet classy but by far now one of the sexiest things I own. My back is very much exposed all the way to my lower back. At least it comes with a robe.

I exit my room and head towards Kye's room.

I knock on to his office door and he tells me to come in.

I feel nervous entering this room. I walk to his desk and take a seat in one of his chairs. He is on the computer typing. He looks at me briefly and goes back to typing, but ends up doing a double take.

I look away and notice there is a big picture of us mounted on the wall. I stand up and walk to it. It's of him and I in the ball we went to some time ago. I'm in my dress and he is in his tux. We look so beautiful.

"Wow I can't believe you framed this. You look so handsome."

I blurt out.

I hear him take a breath and turn to face him.

He looks very tense.

I walk over to him and rest my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

He closes his eyes and I rub his back.

"What's wrong?"

I ask lifting his head so he is looking at me. His face is red and I wonder if he is feeling well.

I rest my hand on his forehead to check if he has a fever.

Luckily he does not.

"I'm fine."

He states and I let go of him.

"I wanted to say thank you for what you did for me today. It meant the world to me and I know it must not have been easy for you. I am so grateful and truly do have so much love for you for that and all the good you have done for my family."

I feel my face burning as red as my nightgown.

I feel his eyes on me as he stands and steps towards me.

"I would do anything for you and our family."

He states cupping my chin.

I get lost into his eyes. His blue eyes pull me in.

Damn.

"I know what I did today will never make up for what I did to you."

He states looking genuinely sad.

"I forgive you."

I state.

"Can I hold you?"

I respond by wrapping my arms around him and kissing him. He immediately responds and takes off my robe.

He stops kissing me and groans when he sees my outfit.

I blush at the effect I have on him.

I grab his hand and walk with him to his room.

My face is red when I see my bra on his bed.

He shrugs not caring he's been caught.

"I need to think about you in order to release."

My face is red.

I turn and crawl into his bed. I lay into his pillow and stare at him.

"Now you don't need to use my bras."

He visibly swallows.

"You sure?"

He asks and I get up walking towards him.

I take his hand and put it in my underwear.

"Do you feel how wet she is?"

He basically throws me on to the bed.

He crawls over me and creates hickeys all over my neck and chest.

I don't even realize when he takes off his boxers, but I feel as he rips my thong.

He enters in me rough and hard.

"I don't know if I can go slow."

He states.

"I don't want you to."

....

In the middle of the night I get up to pee.

I come back and Kye is wrapped around me like a cocoon.

He kisses my lips over and over and I am just overwhelmed with the emotion.

"Happy bday my love."

He states making me smile.

"Thank you sugarplum."

I respond.

He rests his head in the grove of my neck.

"I have a couple of special presents for you today."

I sigh.

"You already give me enough-"

He cuts me off.

"My job is to spoil you."

I shake my head.

He gets up and goes into his closet. He walks out with a jewelry box.

My head shakes.

This dude likes to spend too much money.

He passes me the box and it is a diamond encrusted watch with 5 stacks of hundred dollar bills.

My jaw drops.

I give it back to him.

He laughs.

"Kye you're crazy. Why would you give me- this is too much. Oh my god."

He hugs me and I cry.

"Why are you crying firefly?"

He asks me.

I shrug my shoulders.

He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"This is the craziest gift I have ever received."

I state and he smiles pulling me with him as he lays down.

My present falls to the floor but he does not care.

I lay on to his chest as he rubs my back.

"Your real present is even better."

My jaw drops.

"How does it get better?"

He smiles at me and kisses me.