Z A I D A A N

"Has she left?"

Zayra chuckled, "Yea, sir. And I'm leaving too. It was amazing meeting her. Oh, and you might have a hard time contro-"

"Know your job, big girl. Thank you so much, for everything.

"Pleasure is all mine. Enjoy, sire! I'm off duty, Zaidaan. Bye bro!"

I chuckled and shook my head and turned off the bluetooth as I stood outside the restaurant, Dolder Grand.

It was exotic, to say the least.

Alright here's the deal. This is a date. A date. A date which wasn't for eating. A date with a girl. A date with my wife.

You can do this man! Man up!

And that just lead to another set of prep talk.

I trailed along the entrance and walked back, pacing across and back, waiting for her.

"Zaidaan, man, listen." I told myself, I really was going mad, "she's your wife. She must...like you? I mean, you're smart. Successful. It'll be fine. You will talk. She'll talk back. Make some jokes. Laugh. Take pictures. Kiss he- no no, no, no do not kiss her. Alright no touching. Relax, Zaidaan. You'll be fine, she's a human, bro, she won't bi-"

"I'm glad I have the ability to make you so nervous that you go mad."

"Yeah, whatev-"

I paused and turned on my heel, praying she hadn't heard all of it,

"How long were you here?"

"Well, long enough to hear you convince yourself I'm a human."

"I-"

And my words fell shot because my eyes, they fell on her.

The shawl covered her up, but the few stray strands that escaped framed her sharp cheekbones. Her features, now more prominent under the moonlight made it even more difficult to take my eyes off and not pull her closer, in my arms.

Words seemed to leave my mind as I stuttered, struggled to form sensible sentences.

She took a step forward, slowly, the simple movement increasing my heart rate.

God, even the way she steps forward is so graceful.

And without a second thought, I said,

"If you move one more step ahead, I'm never letting you go away from me."

She paused and tilted her head to the side,

"Are you sure?"

I gulped, "Y-yeah."

"Well, then it's settled."

With that, she stepped forward, and now stood a feet away from me.

I chuckled at the meaning behind her action as I stepped forward and bowed infront of her, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles,

"Hey."

I gazed up at her as a shy smile graced her lips,

"Hi." She laughed out.

She pursed her lips together and averted her gaze as I interlocked our fingers and pulled her along inside.

Once in privacy, I stopped her and gently pushed the shawl down her head, revealing her loose tendrils and tilted my head, silently questioning her sudden resistence,

"I hope you know the shawl was only to keep you from gaining attention outside,"

She bit her lip and took in a deep breath as I leaned my forehead against her, my hands pinning around her waist,

"Look at me, jaan."

She heaved a sigh,

"Zaidaan, I-"

"You don't have to remove the shawl if it makes you uncomfortable."

She looked at me surprised,

"You-"

"I'll never look at you, or do anything, if you don't want me to."

Her lips parted as she snaked her arms around my neck, her previous confidence back,

"Really?"

"Promise."

She laughed and, to my utter surprise and mortification, kissed my cheek as my eyes widened while she said,

"I'm hungry."

With that, she stepped back and moved ahead, while I stood there, still enchanted in her scent.

This time, I followed her lead as she made herself comfortable on her seat,

eyeing the table in deep thought,

"Candlelight, huh?"

I took my place across from her, "I figured you always wanted this."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I nearly thought she'd figure out I took Husna's help but all she did was smirk and ask,

"Food?"

I chuckled, "Why does it look like you're only here for the food?"

She leaned in her seat, "Because I am."

I shook my head but nonetheless said, "It'll be here soon. And uh, let your hair be, we have a female waitress so you don't feel the need to cover up."

A grin spread across her face, "How do you do all this?"

I shrugged, "Influence."

She rolled her eyes, "More like influenza. Zaidaan virus."

"Alright where was your sass when we first met?"

"In my brain because I was too shy."

"I liked the shy Kainaat better."

Her cheeks turned pink as she waved a hand about, "Deal with me."

I bit my lip, "I have no choice."

"So considerate."

I smiled, a laugh leaving me, this girl was something else,

"So, um, favourite vegetable?"

She looked at me surprised, "Lady finger. Are we playing twenty questions?"

"Yes. No, maybe. I mean, as many questions as possible, mostly."

She nodded, "Suits me. Favourite fruit?"

"Apple."

She choked on her water, "How even can you?"

I laughed, "Favourite colour?"

"Orange."

I raised my eyebrows, "Interesting."

"Okay how about this," she said, "we ask questions but after one of us answers, we'll have to answer it ourselves too."

"Sounds like a deal. Go on."

She leaned ahead, "Do you like art?"

"I love art."

"Same, but I suck at it."

I chuckled, "I could teach you how to paint."

She took another sip of her water, "Like, in those romcom movies or actually teach me?"

"Whatever are your intentions, I'll follow." I winked at the end and she bit her lip to stop a smile,

"Are you flirting?"

"Are you?"

She paused, "Maybe."

I shrugged, "Maybe. Have you ever broken someone's heart?"

She opened her mouth to answer, then fell silent, her eyes darkening for a moment, before she gave a slight nod, "Maybe, but he deserved it."

I knew who the he was, but I let her go on,

"I told Abaan to call me bhabhi and not Kainaat because, well, I'm your wife."

There was no guilt in her voice, but there was some sort of a longing, maybe her heart was paining but still warm enough like when we remember old times, and wish for things to go back to the old times, and old ways. And maybe, she still did long for him.

She gulped, looking down before murmuring out, "You?"

I shrugged, coming back to reality, "I've never been in love."

She looked at me curiously, and my heart went,

Until now.

And maybe this wasn't the right time to say it.

"Have you ever been in love?"

I couldn't stop the words before they left me, because I needed to know what was in her heart.

When her startled eyes looked at me with a sort of betrayal, I rushed to take hold of her hands in mine. She licked her lips,

"When me and Abaan met," she started, "I knew, or I like to think I knew, that he was my 'the one'. Eleven months later when you guys came, I was the happiest person, but then when I got to know you guys came for Fariyal, for Abaan, I didn't know what to do. It was all so confusing to know what was happening. And then, well, things happened. I loved him, Zaidaan. I won't say I didn't because that would be a lie. But maybe, maybe he wasn't the right person. Maybe what we had was just...not right. We were two wrong people at the right timing, and I think, even if I had a chance, I would...not go back. I've been in love but I think, there could be...more."

She stopped and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Having already answered that question myself, I asked her to go on,

"Why haven't you ever been in love?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, "Not really that type."

Until now.

A teasing glint glanced in her eyes,"Why? Lack of girls?"

I tsked, "There were plenty. I was just too shy."

She nodded, "Why aren't you shy with me?"

I leaned ahead and brought her hand closer to me, "I could ask you the same thing."

She looked in my eyes and I stared back, kissing the palm of her hands, as she looked away,

"You make me feel...different."

I dropped her hand at her words before regaining my composure,

"Favourite ice cream flavour?

"Mango."

"Mint chocolate chip."

She gagged before asking, "Romcom or action?"

We continued like that until our food arrived and that's when she said,

"Oh, no."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What is it?"

She shrugged, aughing nervously, "I don't know how to use a fork and knife to eat."

At first I just stared at her, but then a sly smile surfaced my lips and I said,

"Well, I can feed you now."

She laughed, "You wouldn't."

But then she looked at my expression and narrowed her eyes,

"You wouldn't, right?"

"I definitely would."

She groaned as I shifted my chair and plate and sat beside her,

"Zaidaan, no!"

"Kainaat, yes!"

I cut the steak in a small piece and fed her, albeit forcefully, before taking a bite myself.

With a mouthful, she asked, "Same spoon?"

After swallowing, I answered, "It's sunnah."

She looked at me for a moment longer, before smiling and shaking her head and opened her mouth for me to feed her.

A minute later, she asked,

"What's your full name?"

Feeding her another spoonfull, I answered,

"Zaidaan Ibraheem Farooq."

She zoned out for a second before nodding as I asked,

"What about you?"

She chuckled, "Everyone was so excited by the birth of two babies on one day, they forgot to give us middle names."

"Two babies?"

"Me and Husna. We're just an hour apart."

"Woah, woah, besties since birth like, literally."

She nodded excitedly, "Yeah. But chachu later changed his daughter's name to Husna Noorayn Khan, but my parents were either too lazy to change all the documents or they couldn't find a good name, so I'm just Kainaat Khan."

"Maybe to fill up the gap of middle name, you have so many personalities."

She laughed, "Yeah, could be. I think Fariyal got my share of middle name, did you know she has two more names?"

I chuckled, "Seriously?"

"Yes! Being the first girl child, everyone wanted to name her, but in the end it was my mom, my nani and dadijaan who won. Nani passed away two days later but she made sure to name her."

I nodded, "What's her full name? Fariyal's?"

"Fariyal Hayza Palwasha Khan. Mom won with the first name, Hayza is from dadijaan, Palwasha from our Nani."

"That's long."

"I know, she loves it."

We fell silent after that, the occassional clatter of our spoons being the only sound. Once we were done, I stood up,

"Come on, we have places to go."

She fixed the shawl on her head as we walked out, her dress flowing behind her in a trail as she held my hand and we walked out in the cold night air.

"Hey," she started, "why isn't Inaya doing anything?"

I shrugged, "She'd applied for a job, but got rejected thrice. I think that lowered her confidence."

"Well then why don't you encourage her?"

I looked at her curiously, "Why do you ask?"

She took her moment forming her words and when she spoke, I couldn't help the way my heart fluttered,

"Well, I think she's very different. Talentedly different. She has an eye for many, many things and...I don't know she just gives off the perfect vibes. She has a lot in her from what I've seen and heard. And she's totally oblivious to all of it. You should help her, what kind of an elder brother are you?"

I chuckled at her mini rant but said nothing. My sister was very, very close to my heart and anyone who respected her and understood her, always held a place in my heart. Nothing ever came before Inaaya's worth and nothing ever will.

And of course, Kainaat was a different case.

"That reminds me, how are you both just eight months apart?"

I looked at her questioningly, "Me and Inaaya? How do you know?"

She smiled nervously, "Abaan."

I nodded,"Well, a month after my birth, mom got pregnant again. And Inaya was born premature at seven months and three days. She was tiny and if you see her pics when she was a newborn, you'd be shocked at how scared mom was to hold her. And by the way, we'll leave for...our next destination tomorrow afternoon."

"Tomorrow?! That's too soon! But, why?"

"Well," I I kissed her hand, "let's say I figured there's a lot you wanted to see and do."

She fell silent after that and I pulled her along, "I like how it's just us on the streets"

She laughed, "I know, it's very easy to lose control, this way."

I stared at her calm face, "Are you trying to lose control?"

She glanced at me, surprised, "Huh? Where did that come from?"

"You said it's easier to lose control this way." I shrugged.

She chuckled, then took a step towards me and took my hand in hers, a look so intense in her eyes that it was almost impossible for me to look away,

"You, Zaidaan, need to know a lot about me."

I chuckled, "That, I do."

***

"No, for real, you're killing a woman here. I'm walking in heels!"

"Aren't you supposed to be used to it?"

"I barely ever wear heels."

"Well then, take them off."

She looked at me as if I was crazy,

"I'm not walking barefoot."

I chuckled, "Of course you won't, you'll wear my shoes."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, good one."

"I wasn't kidding."

She stared at me for a minute before letting out a breath and chuckling,

"You can't be not joking."

I shrugged, "Or I could carry you. It's upto you, really."

She shook her head, "Your shoes will barely fit me."

"The lose, the merrier."

She refused to meet my gaze as I motioned for her to remove her heels. Eventually, she did as I said as I held her heels and she walked in my shoes.

To people who saw us, it would seem mad. But to us, to me, this moment was beautiful.

Her heels slinged between my fingers, she walking ahead in my shoes, making it seem like her feet were dangling inside, my bare feet touching the moist dew road beneath us, albeit soft, the empty victorian street and the full moon up in the sky with half the streetlights off.

She was carefree. She had her gaurd down as she walked in steps, missing two bricks at a time, in a pattern, morse coding with the ground. My gaze trying to decode the happiness with which her feet graced her steps.

The shawl covering her head was now down, the night air swaying her natural auburn waves in soft, swift motion, the moonlit sky hueing a white sheen against her milky skin, the curve of her lips captivating, the sharpness of her jaw enthralling.

This moment, she had a smile on her face. A kind of smile which wasn't full blown or tight lipped. It was a satisfied smile.

In this moment, I realized that neither of us needed anything right now. We didn't need to talk. And I knew it wasn't just me.

There was something in the night, maybe in the wind, or maybe it was the moon all bright, but everything about that night, was the start of a magic. A story. A something I couldn't define right now.

I knew I never felt this for anyone, until now.

Until now, right now, in this moment, when she stood infront of me with her arms spread open and head up at the sky, something crazy in her mind and a foolish smile, the sharpness of her collarbone highlighted under the moonlit sky, the only thing that crossed my mind was the feeling in my heart, when her eyes gazed in mine.

And in that moment, the soft wind hit me harder than it did a few seconds ago, whispered in my ears to accept it, and took with it my breath away.

Because right then, she looked at me.

Accept it.

I heaved a breath as she eyed me curiously,

"Is everything okay?"

No.

"Yes. Of course."

She smiled, "Let's go, then."

Accept it.

"But where?"

This is what love looks like.

"There's a place I want to go. With you."

This is what love feels like.

"Now?"

She is, what love looks like.

Kainaat heaved a sigh, "Yes, Zaidaan. Now."

She is, what love feels like.

She extended her hand for me to hold.

She is love.

And I placed mine in hers, clasping our hands together as we fell in step.

And I love her.

***

I hmmed under my breath as she kept talking,

"You know, there's this place, it somewhere here, well according to google, it's near, but we gotta walk, and no one's here, so it's even better, you know, I want to go there to do something, and I don't care how sappy you find it, we will do it."

I looked at her amused, "Okay."

She turned to me, "Why aren't you talking?"

"I am talking."

"No," she whined, "you aren't talking talking, why're you so silent? What's going on in your head?"

I chuckled, "I'm just wondering where we are going."

She grinned, "I'm too excited to not tell you. It's called mühlesteg bridge."

I blinked, "You mean the bridge where you put locks with your initials on the bridge as a promise?"

"You mean, A promise bridge? Yes."

I shook my head, "We're going in the wrong direction."

She gasped, "No way! It's this way."

I shrugged,"Short cut is that way, come on."

***

"Oh. My. God."

I heard her say as she left my hand and walked ahead, up the bridge and stopped in the middle.

And then, she squeeled and twirled around, clasping her hands together and saying,

"We're here, we're finally here!"

I laughed as I walked upto her and pulled her against me,

"We're finally here."

She looked at me and with a smug look, pulled out a small lock from her clutch,

"I came prepared."

I chuckled, '"Where are our initials?"

She nodded, "We'll write that now."

I looked at her quizically as she went ahead and picked up a stone.

I bended beside her and watched as she skillfully managed to scratch out a 'KZ' with a heart in between and I bit my lips to stop myself from laughing.

She glared at me and scoffed as she wnet ahead and unlocked the lock with a key, carefully locking it in the middle of the lane as I sat across her, staring at the concentration on her face as she said,

"You know, I hadn't really planned on doing this. It was a last minute thing, another reason I was late. We may not have reached any milestone yet, but I wouldn't want to have this any other way."

She paused to look at me, "I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else."

Her words shocked me, but what shocked me more was the emotion in her eyes, her eyes really were deep, and it gave everything with so much intensity that I couldn't even begin to comprehend a reply.

I gave her a smile, and squeezed hee hand as she smiled and looked down, then, to my surprise, she dangled the key infront of my eyes, before tossing it down in the water beneath the bridge,

"And I wouldn't want us to ever be found by each other."

I completed her sentence, "Let's get lost in each other instead."

She scooted ahead and placed her head on my shoulder, relaxing against me as I kissed her forehead.