I always thought it was creepy to stare at someone when they were sleeping.

If I woke up to someone staring at me, I'd probably freak out. But that early morning, I found myself unable to pry my eyes away from the sleeping form on my bed.

A smile played on my lips.

"Hi." The Professor's voice was barely audible. "You're here." The Professor stated gruffly. He seemed to be trapped in-between reality and dreamland.

"No, I'm not. You're just dreaming." I joked.

"What happened with Mrs Chamberlain ?" He asked curiously.

I shrugged not being able to restate to him what she told me, "Nothing, She just wanted to tell me what you already did" I lied through my teeth.

"It is uncanny for Mrs chamberlain to give up like this, but it is a beneficial for you in the long term I think it is much better for you," He rested on the board of the bed.

"Maybe," I was not convinced by his words, but I agreed to them. There was a contract not written but known that when I decided to this, I chose to live without my dreams.

"Are you okay ?" He softly spoke.

I nodded, "I am okay, stop asking" I answered harshly.

"You hadn't cried once since your break down when I told you," He said, "It isn't good for you to keep your emotions bottled up,"

Should I tell him that if I didn't have my emotions bottled up, I would be crying every single day? Should I tell him, my father, abandoning me when I was five, my grandmother abandoning me now has taken a toll on my life. My brain quitting on me after twenty-one years. Kerem leaving me and going back to his ex-wife? Should I tell him that him abandoning me would break me without ever being able to glue myself back together? that is why I will endure eveything and anything.

I gave him a shorter answer, "Crying is overrated, don't you think so ?" I started with a smile, keeping my promise to cry to my creator a commitment between us.

His modulated voice began to soothe my ears, "Studies have shown that while the eyes of all mammals are moistened and relieved by tears, only human beings shed tears in response to emotional stress." It seemed that he was giving me a lecture as he finished with, "There was a theory that tears help to relieve stress by ridding the body of potentially harmful stress-induced chemicals."

"I think professor Lee had already taught you this stuff?" He wondered.

"I am not a med student anymore. I don't have to know this stuff, anymore." I spoke with a gruff voice. "You are the doctor, you are the one that is going to know all these stuff and teach them to the kid later," I roughly answered as I tried to get out of the bed.

He held my forearm, "Didn't you promise you would stop picking fights ?" He questioned with a smile on his face.

"I am sorry," I place my hand on my forehead, "I am just stressed, I don't know what to do about a degree, I always thought I would end up being a doctor," I stated truthfully.

"You could be a cook ?" He stated, "You are good at it" He suggested.

"I love cooking for people I love, and I hate it when I am being judged for it; that is why I hate cooking sometimes," I stated.

"Well, you have two months to think about it since in two months admissions will be closed to most universities," He stated, "Or.." He playfully said. "You could just be my wife and his mom," He added.

I looked at the bump that was beginning to show, "I adore it dearly, but I know I will blame it in the years to come if I took it as an excuse."

"So, do you think it's a boy or a girl?" I asked, excitement shining in my eyes.

Ibrahim looked up from where he was staring at their hands as they intertwined. "Hmmm, I don't know. What do you think?" He countered.

" I'd be happy with IT either a boy or a girl," I said.

"Yeah, I've always wanted a little boy," He mused.

"Well then I feel it will be a girl," I disagreed.

"You should stop calling it, it" My Professor advised, "and while we are on the subject, why don't you stop calling me Professor," He smiled.

"I should? Shouldn't I" I rhetorically asked, "But as for it, we still don't know if it is a boy or a girl and as for you," I laughed, "Ibrahim doesn't suit you, you are more of a professor," I justly stated looking at his emerald eyes.

"Then I should call you dory because Wahaj doesn't suit you," He mimicked my voice and attuited.

I frowned, "Don't you dare," He laughed, and I couldn't help but smile as he did.

**************

Several Weeks Later

The Professor picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip, watching me through the lid. I was keeping quiet, and it was odd.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing." He knew it was a lie.

"Why are you so quiet?" He asked, sounding worried, trying to recall what he did.

"I'm eating," I answered.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Last night, you sounded-"

"You didn't do anything wrong, I-Ibrahim." I snapped in frustration, surprising the Professor with my outburst.

It had been generally pleasant, the last few weeks were everything I dreamed about, but It wasn't at the same time. "I got three rejections from the three colleges I applied to," I stated sadly looking at the professor as he seemed to hide the smile that was forming on his lips.

"Why do you seem happy ?" I irritably asked.

I wasn't irritated at the professor; I was annoyed at myself as my eyes flickered briefly to the many clothes and toys he bought for the baby.

"Because I don't want a nanny to take care of my children, I want you to do it," He stated, "I want you to stay home and take care of the child, I don't want him to grow up as I did," He explained.

At that moment the air between us was filled with tension as I replied, "Why don't you stay at home and I go out and have a degree and a life outside of the house,"

"Because it is unreasonable, I already have a degree and a career." He calmly stated.

I stood up from the chair that I was sitting in, "And my life won't revolve around you; I want a degree, I want to be a doctor." I demanded.

"You can wish it, all you want but it won't happen," He stated emotionless as he was sitting in his chair, sipping his coffee. "Your brain injury would prevent you from ever doing it, Its a fact Wahaj, learn to accept it."

I walk away from him as I murmured, "I am beginning to loathe you, Professor." I was seriously thinking of taking Mrs Chamberlain's offer as I left him sipping his coffee.

*****************

I had endured two months at this point. I had endured Nermin's telling me that I am doing everything wrong. I mean we argued – mostly when she would have rude comments about my choice on MY unborn baby, or as she called them, "Satan's choices" And I flew off the handle when she threw all my clothes out so I could wear something that suits with my title as 'Mrs.Yilmaz'

"Wallah your mother is making me rethink my religion. As every second of every day, I think of ways to kill her." I stated as I looked over my shoulder to the front door. The professor shut his car door.

He pulled the trunk down and said, "You know you are talking about my mother,"

"Ibrahim," I said, starting to interrupt him, but he cut me off.

"Wahaj, like it or not, she is my mother, and she just wants to help. Just please let her do it." When I nodded, he smiled and leaned down, kissing the tip of my nose. I knew this had been difficult for him. He had tried to keep the peace between both of us and not take sides.

"Ibrahim," I said, following him inside the house, "When are we going to move out ?" I asked.

"Never," He casually answerd.

"What do you mean by never ?" I asked in a shrill voice.

"As in it will break my parent's heart, if I decide to leave so I won't." He stated as he climbed the stairs to our room.

I paused where I stood, "If I got accepted to a school across the sea that I have applied to, you won't go with me."

The grip on his brief bag tightened, "You won't leave to a school aboard or any school, we agreed" He shouted, "End of discussion,"

He was always angry, especially at me and I felt helpless. It was a matter of when he will be board of me and toss me aside and I won't have anything. I won't have a degree or money to support myself.

I needed to take Mrs Chamberlain's offer.