play the intro to Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer by Stevie Wonder.

It was one of the few times that Ayoluwa had been truly home alone.

Imani was wherever, Camille was still at the restaurant and Lauryn was having a sleepover.

Since Shareef had dropped her off a couple of days ago, her phone had been on do not disturb.

Seeing her friends would only remind her that they were friends with him.

And thinking about him was beginning to leave a gaping wound in Ayoluwa's chest.

"I'd never thought you'd leave in summer," She sang in a gravelly tone, "I thought you would go then come back home, I thought the cold would leave by summer, but my quiet nights will be spent alone."

Her heart started to pound and her eyes started to sting just a bit but Ayoluwa continued, "You said there would be warm love in springtime, that was when you started to be cold, I'd never dreamed you'd leave in summer but now I find myself all alone."

A few tears escaped, making her tone ever more sickly, "You said then you'd be the life in autumn, said you'd be the one to see the way, I never dreamed you'd leave in summer, but now I find my love has gone away, why-." Ayoluwa's voice broke on the last line.

Why didn't you stay?

Her gaze turned to Joshua's house placed next door then turned away.

That was the worst part of it all.

There was no way to avoid him, no way to keep him from seeking her out.

Ayoluwa would have to wait until he left for Arizona and even then he would be back to visit his family and for Christmas.

Ayoluwa was cursed with having someone she wanted so much, so close yet so out of reach.

The doorbell rang, causing Ayoluwa to cast her eyes towards the entry way.

"I don't feel like company today." Ayoluwa murmured to herself.

She hoped that if she didn't answer the door then the person behind it would simply go away.

But they didn't.

The doorbell continued to ring causing Ayoluwa wipe her eyes and hope her irises were bright before heading to the front door.

Ayoluwa slowly peeked her head out and let a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Nicholas, and not Joshua.

"I don't feel like company today." Ayoluwa shook her head.

Nicholas rolled his eyes then forced his way in, "I didn't ask. Why haven't you been answering the phone?"

Ayoluwa closed the door behind him then sat down at her keyboard once more, "I haven't felt like talking."

"Even to me? You got Dior thinking you were kidnapped or something."

Nicholas narrowed his eyes at her, noting Ayoluwa's appearance of sweats and red eyes, "Are you okay, Ayo? You seem.... Like I don't know... Off. I can't put my finger on it."

"Just a lot on my mind." Ayoluwa retorted in a low voice.

"Did you finish that love song?" Nicholas adjusted himself on her couch.

Understatement, Ayoluwa thought to herself with a pang of pain.

"I wanna play you something new and I want you to be honest after I'm done." Ayoluwa grabbed her songbook and flipped open to the latest filled page.

Ayoluwa began to play a pessimistic tune on her keyboard, cleared her throat and began to sing once more, "Nothing but a tear that's all for breakfast, watching you pretend you're unaffected, you're pulling our connections, expecting me to let you go,"

Ayoluwa glanced at her friend who was staring back at her, "But I won't, know you don't need my protection, but I'm in love, can't blame me for checking, I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes somewhere close to you."

"Close to you, like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out, just say that I'm coming right now, to be close to you," Ayoluwa took in a breath before continuing.

"Said you let it go, you kept it, working hard to perfect it, now your fear is reckless and it's out of your control, know you don't need my protection, but I'm in love, can't blame for checking, I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes somewhere close to you."

Her eyes started to sting once more but Ayoluwa pushed through in order to finish the song, "Close to you, like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out, if you'd let me, I'd be there by now, close to you."

"Close to you," Ayoluwa let a soft vocal run loose as her fingers played the outro of the song.

It took Nicholas a moment for him to speak, "That... That doesn't sound like a love song at all."

"It's not. Just forget I even said I wanted to write one." Ayoluwa slumped down a little, "I was being stupid. Love clearly isn't for me."

"What's going on? Did something happen?" Nicholas moved to sit next to her.

Ayoluwa gave her best friend a tearful smile, "Nothing that matters now."

Then the dam broke.

Ayoluwa hadn't given herself a chance to mourn what could've been, what should've been with Joshua, instead she had thrown herself into working and taking care of Lauryn in an attempt to regain normalcy.

Nicholas immediately embraced her, "It's okay. Let it out."

Ayoluwa rested her head on his shoulder as the tears began to leak out of her eyes and sobs out of her mouth.

"What happened? I need to know."

Ayoluwa sniffled, "It doesn't matter. I need to talk to you about something else and I need you not to get mad."

Nicholas was quiet so Ayoluwa continued, "I think I'm gonna give this up."

"Give what up?"

Ayoluwa sniffled a little more as her tears slowed, "I'm giving up music."

"What?" His tone was boisterous due to his mouth near her ear.

"I've been thinking about it and my keyboard and my guitar would sell for a bit. Lauryn needs new clothes for school, shoes, school supplies, back up money in case she wants to do Pop Warner cheer again or something. I was stupid, writing all these songs, pretending that something could come out of it,"

Ayoluwa shook her head, "My focus needs to be on her and only her."

Nicholas was quiet, unable to argue with her logic.

"I... I'm sorry that it has to come to this." Nicholas whispered.

Ayoluwa's eyes welled up at the audible pity in his voice, "Me too."

"Me too."

okay obvi that isn't a song I wrote, it's by Rihanna lmao I'm just saying it now bc there's always that one person.... anyway!

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