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liked by shareefoneal, giveon, kehlani & 384,160 others

big smiles bigger blessings

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as you should!

proud 💪🏽

your voice is literally insane

liked by jalen, yg, brandonboston & 163, 645 others

can I make it from a student loan to a benzo?

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clorox on deck

be great 🌟

ye bar over heads 🤝

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After five hours and some change in a moving truck, Joshua had made it to Arizona State University.

He supposed he should be happy but all he could feel was vacancy.

Mind numbingly, painstakingly unfulfilled.

Joshua had his head against the window while Caleb followed the truck their parents were in onto campus.

Caleb was saying something about the food on campus but all Joshua could think about was...

Ayoluwa.

He wanted to ask Shareef and Dior how she was doing and if she still planned on quitting music.

But doing that would mean coming to terms with how much he missed just having her around.

He had even typed out a paragraph to Ayoluwa then deleted it, figuring that she must've blocked his phone number the way she had blocked his Instagram.

It wasn't like he didn't deserve the radio silence from her, after dissing her twice now.

He was just trying to make sure that each person had the freedom to pursue their desires, whatever they may be.

More and more, Joshua was coming to wish that him and Ayoluwa had never left that lake house.

The night before Joshua had grappled with his decision of his future plans and how to keep his fear from crippling him.

But every time he tried to include Ayoluwa in his future plans, the what if's interrupted him.

What if she decides that long distance is too hard?

What if she meets someone else while I'm on the road?

What if she falls in love?

Shit, what if I fall in love?

"Josh! Josh!" Caleb exclaimed then snapped his fingers in his face.

Joshua blinked and Caleb snapped his fingers in Joshua's face once more, seemingly determined to get his attention.

Joshua scowled at his brother, "Do I look like a fucking dog or something?"

"Sorry but you were a million miles away." Caleb explains, "I'm thinking I'm holding a conversation with you and you're watching an ant on the ground, like what the fuck?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking some shit through." Joshua replied in a snide tone.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" Caleb pressed.

Joshua pursed his lips in consideration, trying to imagine the outcomes of telling Caleb what had truly happened at the lake house.

"Nothing." He decided to say instead as Caleb stopped the car in front of the athletic dorms.

Caleb gave Joshua an expression that he couldn't read, "I'm not Patrick. I know you better than that. But if you don't wanna say anything I won't force you."

"Thank you." Joshua sighed before getting out of the car.

The campus was full of their peers being moved in and parents who were helping them.

Palm trees were lined up next to the buildings and the humidity was causing the windows on each car in the lot to fog up.

"Hey Woo!" A gaggle of girls, all blonde and all with tanned skin called out to Caleb, starting to drift over to the two brothers.

"Hey, Anna." Caleb greeted the lead girl.

"How you been? Where's Marie?" Anna asked Caleb with a smile.

Joshua gave Caleb a curious glance at the feminine name.

"She's still driving in from Houston. Should be here by tonight." Caleb responded.

A memory of Caleb showing Joshua the Instagram page of a girl with deep brown skin from June floated through his mind like a faint breeze.

Anna's eyes fell onto Joshua, "This must be Josh, right? Y'all look just alike."

Joshua nodded at her, still a little absentminded.

"Yeah, this is my mini me." Caleb put his elbow on Joshua's shoulder causing the other boy to smirk and then playfully push his brother away.

Anna stuck her hand out and Joshua quickly shook it and then stuck his back by his side.

While the girls and Caleb talked, Joshua couldn't help but notice that Anna's eyes were scanning him from head to toe repeatedly.

Joshua tried not to visibility recoil from the blatant attention.

It's not like Anna wasn't pretty it was just...

She wasn't who he wanted, not in the slightest.

"Aye, Imma go help dad with the truck," Joshua tapped Caleb's back then started to stroll away.

Anna quickly caught up to him, making Joshua stop by latching her hand on top of his shoulder, "I was thinking... If you need a campus guide or anything..." Anna let out a wicked smile.

Normally, Joshua would flash his own grin at her then come up with his own flirty response.

But Joshua didn't feel normal, not in the slightest.

So instead he nodded and when Anna slipped a crumpled up note into his palm, he took it.

But as soon as he was sure Anna or any of her friends were looking, Joshua released the note onto the street then continued his journey forward towards the moving truck.

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