As Gandalf and Hannah were making their way back to Bag End the following afternoon for tea, as Bilbo had so unwittingly agreed to, they encountered several of the Dwarves that were to be in their party.

"It's Gandalf! At your service!" they greeted him with sweeping bows.

"Ah, Hannah. Meet Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Glóin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur," said Gandalf. "All of you, this is Hannah Hayes."

"At your service," they greeted her with another bow.

"At yours," she answered politely, bowing in return.

"Is this wee lass our burglar?" asked Glóin, though Hannah stood an inch or two taller than he. "I thought it was supposed to be a fellow by the name of Bilbo. That's what it said in your message."

"Oh, no, the message you received was correct," said Gandalf. "Hannah is my apprentice, and she will be accompanying me on this venture." Hannah was surprised by her sudden promotion, but she kept her face perfectly straight and gave away nothing.

"Oh, a Wizard's apprentice! Well, that's something you don't see every day," said Bofur as they all gazed at the young girl with appraising eyes, deeply impressed. For now they were sure there must be more to her than meets the eye.

"Are you sure you should be telling them that?" Hannah whispered to the wizard as they continued on their way to the hobbit's hole, walking behind the others. They were clearly under the wrong impression that she was capable of magic.

"Why not? After all it is true, to certain extent," said Gandalf. Indeed, she had shown such a keen interest in his fireworks that she had practically begged of him to teach the art and science behind their making to her, in addition to everything else she was learning. Hannah may not be the wizard or witch the others imagined her to be, but she was not without skills of her own.

Ding-dong-a-ling-dang the Dwarves rang the hobbit's bell, and the door was pulled open with a jerk, causing them all to fall in one on top of the other, shooting into the hall like the cork of a pop-gun. Only Gandalf and Hannah, who had been at the very back, were spared. Peering past the pile of Dwarves and the gaping hobbit who answered the door, the Wizard could see that a few more members of their party had already arrived and appeared to be making themselves at home.

"Gandalf," said Bilbo when he saw the Wizard, looking flustered. He had been very angry and altogether bewildered and bewuthered, but he found himself somewhat relieved now that there were at least one or two familiar faces present.

"Oh, this is lovely," said Hannah once they were all inside, complimenting the hobbit's home.

"Thank you its—" Bilbo began to answer when he realized the Dwarves were all swarming into his pantry to help themselves. "Those are my pri—! Excuse me, not my wine. Put that back. Put that back," he said as he ran over to try to stop them, but the Dwarves appeared to either possess some very selective hearing or simply did not understand the word no. One after another, they brought out as much food as they could carry. "Not the jam, please," said Bilbo sternly. "Excuse me. Excuse me. That's a tad excessive, isn't it?" he asked Bombur when he emerged laden with several large cheese wheels. "Have you got a cheese knife?"

"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block," said Bofur as he passed by with the ham.

"Ugh," groaned Bilbo. He started when he saw that they had now begun to move the furniture. "No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair— No, so is that. Take it back, please."

"I cannot hear what you're saying," said Oin as the hobbit stood in his way, doing his best to protect the family heirloom.

"It's an antique. Not for sitting on," Bilbo said louder. All of this Hannah and Gandalf watched with a combination of sympathy and wry amusement. Hannah was almost tempted to help him, as she would also be quite miffed if a bunch of strangers had suddenly come into her house and tried to the same, but Gandalf bid her to follow him into the hall, where the dwarves had moved the dinning table to help set it.

"That is a book, not a coaster," they heard Bilbo continue from another room. "And put that map down."

"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf?" said Dori politely, getting the wizard's attention.

"Yes?" answered Gandalf.

"May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?" the Dwarf offered, pouring himself a cup of hot tea.

"Oh, no, thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think," said the wizard. "Hannah, be a dear and put on a few eggs."

"I'll take a cup of tea, if you don't mind," said Hannah as she prepared to cook the eggs while her mentor left to conduct a head count of all the Dwarves bustling about here and there.

"Whoop! Mind out," said Nori as he brushed past the tall wizard with more food for the table.

"Yes—Ah," the Wizard said, bumping his head on the chandelier. "Uh, Filli, Killi," he counted as the two brothers passed him carting a barrel of beer. "Uh... Óin, Glóin. Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur... Dori, Nori. Ori!" he said when he caught the young dwarf wrestling Bilbo for a basket of tomatoes.

"Not my prize-winners, thank you!" said Bilbo, successfully rescuing them the moment Ori loosened his grip on the basket upon hearing the wizard call his name.

"We appear to be one Dwarf short," Gandalf mused. It would seem, as Hannah would say, the main star of the show had yet to arrive.

"He is late, is all," said Dwalin. "He traveled north to a meeting of our kin. He will come."

"Mr. Gandalf. A little glass of red wine, as requested. It's got a fruity bouquet," said Dori, offering him a glass.

"Oh, cheers," said the Wizard. It was very little indeed. It was a good size for a hobbit, but the wizard needed only two fingers to hold the cup. However, the wine itself was very pleasant and refreshing. Bilbo certainly had good taste.

It was a very merry gathering with everyone gathered round the table for the feast the Dwarves had set up.

"Not a chance. Not from this distance," said Dwalin as he and his neighbors discussed the likelihood of Bombur, who was seated at the far end of the table, being able to catch a boiled egg in his mouth from where they sat.

"Wanna bet?" asked Bofur. "Bombur, catch!" he called, grabbing an egg and tossing it to the fat Dwarf, who was already on his second leg of lamb. Everyone watched as the egg sailed across the table and let out a great cheer when Bombur caught it successfully with his mouth, swallowing it whole.

"Oh, you great galumphing git!" said Óin when Fili hopped up on the table with a couple of tankards in hand.

"Who wants an ale? There you go," said Fili, handing one to Dwalin.

"Over here, brother," called Kili at the other end of the table.

"What did you say?" asked Óin, putting his hearing-horn in his ear.

"I said have another drink," said Dwalin, pouring some of his ale into the horn. "Here you go." Óin shuddered when the liquid flooded into his ear and quickly removed the horn, blowing the rest of the ale out at the others while they laughed.

"Ale on the count of three!" said Bofur. "One, two..."

"Up!" finished Kili. All the Dwarves knocked back their ale in great big gulps and didn't stop until their tankards had been completely drained. They all laughed when Nori let out a series of small burps, but Ori was not to be out-done. The young Dwarf stood up and proudly unleashed a long roar of a belch.

"I knew you had it in you!" said Bofur as they all laughed in delight while Hannah waved a hand in front of her face, attempting to clear the smell from air.

Meanwhile, poor Bilbo had been taking in the state of his now almost completely barren pantry. These Dwarves were dangerously close to eating him out of house and home! As far as he could remember this was the most awkward Wednesday he had ever experienced. Feeling positively flummoxed, the hobbit was beginning to wonder whether a most wretched adventure had not come right into his house.

The Dwarves ate and ate, and talked and talked, and time got on. At last they pushed their chairs back, and Bilbo made a move to collect the plates and glasses.

"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth," he said sternly, quickly rescuing the poor thing from Nori before he could soil it.

"But it's full of holes," said Bofur.

"It's supposed to look like that. It's crochet," Bilbo retorted crossly.

"And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it," said Bofur as the hobbit walked off to put the doily away.

"Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!" cursed Bilbo as Gandalf and Hannah came over to check on him.

"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" asked the wizard.

"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by Dwarves," answered Bilbo. "What are they doing here?"

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them," said Gandalf.

'Which is much easier when they aren't your problem,' thought Hannah.

"I don't want to get used to them!" said Bilbo. "Look at the state of my Kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet. They've pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

"Excuse me," said Ori. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here you go, Ori. Give it to me," said Fili, taking it off his hands and tossing it to his brother over Hannah's shoulder. Kili deftly caught the plate and threw it to Bifur, who was waiting by the sink.

"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing pottery. It's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo said anxiously as they continued to juggle and pass the plates amongst each other like an assembly line. "And can you not do that?" he asked the Dwarves who were still seated at the table, rubbing their forks and knives together and banging the ends on the table. "You'll blunt them."

"Ooh. Do you hear that, lads?" asked Bofur. "He says we'll blunt the knives." With that the Dwarves started to sing:

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!

Blunt the knives and bend the forks!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates—

Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat!

Pour the milk on the pantry floor!

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!

Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;

Pound them up with a thumping pole;

And when you've finished if any are whole,

Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

So, carefully! Carefully with the plates!

And of course they did none of these dreadful things, and everything was cleaned and put away safe and quick as lightning, while the hobbit was turning round and round in the middle of the kitchen trying to see what they were doing. Gandalf and Hannah smiled as they watched the show, but poor Bilbo had looked like he was on the verge of having a heart-attack until he realized that everything the Dwarves had touched was all back in its proper place, none the worse for wear.

Thump, thump sounded two heavy knocks at the door.

"He is here," said Gandalf. The last and most important member of their company had finally arrived.

"Gandalf," Thorin greeted the wizard when he opened the door to let him in. "I thought you said this place was easy to find. I lost my way, twice." Hannah raised an eyebrow at that, but quickly adopted a neutral expression as the proud Dwarf handed her his traveling cloak to hang with the others, giving her an odd look, as if he had not expected to see her there. "I would not have found it at all if it hadn't been for that mark on the door."

"Mark? There's no mark on that door," said Bilbo. "It was painted a week ago."

"There is a mark. I put it there myself," said Gandalf. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield." Compared to the other Dwarves, Hannah found him rather haughty. He said nothing about service; and instead eyed Bilbo rather critically.

"So, this is the Hobbit," said Thorin. "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" asked Bilbo as the charismatic dwarf circled round him.

"Axe or sword? What is you weapon of choice?" asked Thorin.

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know," answered Bilbo. "But I fail to see why that's relevant."

"I thought as much," said Thorin loftily. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar. The other Dwarves laughed and followed their leader back to the table.

Gandalf sighed. "I think you had better bring out some more food," he told Bilbo and Hannah.