"Ubi dubium ibi libertas." -Publilius Syrus

Where there is doubt, there is freedom.

"Oh yes, I finally get you to bed..." Brett said with a yawn, tired from today's events and sleepy from all the wine.

"Oh yes, indeed. You could finally see me flop my face down on the bed while I sleep with my mouth open." Eddy replied, he was just as tired (if not, more tired) as Brett.

"Actually, I would love that right now."

"I know you would."

Eddy removed his suit and threw in by the nearest couch. Brett was doing the same, leaving them both with their boxers. He put on a shirt and climbed with Eddy on the bed.

"Why do you sleep with a shirt on?"

"I get cold without a shirt on, even with the sheets up to my neck."

"Okay then, hubby. Please put something on tv that we could both watch."

"Oh god, you called me hubby." Brett remarked with happiness as he turned some cooking show reruns on the tv.

"If it makes you do things like chores or such, I am not afraid to call you that." Eddy responded with a cheeky grin.

"You don't have to call me hubby for me to bend my back backwards for you." Brett replied in a sing-songy voice.

"Simp."

"Oh, trust me, I know," Brett said, settling his body next to Eddy's. "I'm only proud to be your simp." He added.

"This hotel room is nice and all, but I miss our bed back home." Eddy complained.

"God, me too. I actually wanted to get pissed drunk from the champagne and red wine but I figured that I needed to be sober for us to, ya know, fuck. I never expected us to be this tired of social interactions."

"Oh, honey, now you know what I feel as an introvert. I didn't expect to fuck, actually. I just wanted to do this... Relax with you while were watching Master Chef Australia?" Eddy said, unsure of what Brett put on the tv.

"Nice try, Eddy. But we're watching The Great British Bake Off." Brett replied, holding Eddy close to him.

They held each other close while watching the show in order to fall asleep. The adrenaline rush was still present but their bodies were physically tired. So, their bodies tell them they want sleep but their brains are too active to sleep.

"I really wanna sleep, but I can't. Too much excitement." Brett started, laughing lightly as Eddy held him closer.

"Me too. But ya know, we have to sleep eventually." Eddy replied.

"You do not have awesome ideas sometimes." Brett said, leaning closer, if it ever was possible. "Anyway, wanna get drunk and dance the night away. There's so much alcohol in the mini fridge that we might as well take out an amount that were gonna pay." Brett added, sitting upright.

"You know what, I agree. Maybe it'll make us sleepy too." Eddy said, sitting upright as well.

"God, this is why I married you. You play along my ideas so well."

"I only wanna do it, because I'm with you."

"And I never make wrong choices."

"I'd beg to differ, but I wanna get shitfaced." Eddy responded, kissing Brett lightly.

"Cocktails or just straight up alcohol?" Brett asked, standing up from his side of the bed.

"I wanna do shots first but let's make cocktails first so they'll be cold." Eddy replied, standing up. "Call room service, okay? We need limes, lemons, salt, sugar cubes, mints and ice." Eddy added.

"Okay..." Brett said, reaching up the telephone by his bedside.

Once everything was set, they did the cocktails with no ice so they could chill it on their mini fridge.

"What do you want as a shot, tequila or vodka?"

"What do you take me for, Brett? Of course I want the tequila first." Eddy said, taking the shot glasses and filing them up with the single shot bottles of tequila.

"Okay, cheers!" Brett said, downing the shot glass that was for him.

After a few more shots and with the liquor running through their veins, they were finally tipsy.

"Eddy, as much as I want to get even more tipsy than this, I think you've had enough." Brett slurred, Eddy could barely understand him now.

Eddy didn't say anything much as he let his husband tuck him to bed. Brett kissed his husband's forehead as he laid down next to him, wrapping him in his arms. Eddy leaned in to him and started crying.

"Why are you crying, love?" Brett asked, running his fingers through Eddy's hair.

"Toni, I never realized how loved I truly am." Eddy said, sobbing.

"Toni?"

"Yes Toni, Brett loves me so much. We got married t-tonight and he didn't even take me to bed! He tucked me in and kissed my forehead and it feels nice to be loved." Eddy replied, pulling away from Brett.

"I don't even know why I'm cuddled up to you, Toni. I should be with Brett!" Eddy exclaimed, Brett laughed with so much fondness.

"Hubby, I'm Brett." Brett explained lightly, coaxing him back to bed.

"No you're not." Eddy responded, standing up and stumbling.

Brett caught him up, quite enjoying this drunk Eddy. He had never seen it before and it makes his heart melt that Eddy loves him very much.

"Love you, Eddy..." Brett started, holding his husband.

Eddy let his weight rest on Brett. He suddenly kissed Brett, knocking their heads together. Brett laughed as Eddy yelped in pain. He pulled away and kissed Eddy properly. Eddy leaned in and kissed Brett back.

"I love you, Brett. I love you so much." Eddy slurred.

Brett now tucked him in, for the third time this night. Eddy pulled him in close. Brett was not to deny his husband of this affection, so he could bask in it too. Maybe this is what love really was. It wasn't the desire or the need to always be nearby your beloved or lover.

Maybe, this really was love. The warmth, the security, the care, the imperfect, it was all oh so present. It wasn't the heat of the moment when in bed together, but the warmth shared under blankets when the world seemed too messed up for one to handle. Maybe love is something to keep until given the chance.

Whatever love may be to anyone, it is not a choice. But, it is definitely a choice to stay with the one you love or the one who loves you. Brett and Eddy are always going to make that choice, from here on.

"Brett, will you always love me even if I'm the most unbearable person you have ever come to meet?" Eddy asked, sobering up a little bit.

"Eddy, I'll love you even more on days like those. But I will have my faults too, okay? But I promise to always love you." Brett responded, long been sober since he heard Eddy's 'love confession'.

"Thank you, hubby. I promise to love you every day, too."

With that, they fell asleep with deep bliss. The love is secure within their chests and peace was finally settled.

- - - - -

November 11, 2019

I am happy. I don't need to elaborate more. I married the man I loved merely a few hours ago and I cannot wait for the lifetime that is ahead of us. I still cannot believe that the man that always felt like just a dream is finally mine.

Mine to cherish and to hold near my heart at all time. I am in love and I am choosing this man my whole life now. I held my breath alongside of my wishes but now my wishes are replaced with reality. Why else would I sleep when my life awake is tenfold grander than my dreams?

Of course, he still haunts my dreams. He is still the essence of my thoughts, filled with the tenderness that I once only had longed for. Everything about him now is at arm's length and it fills me with joy. I was always certain about him and nothing could shake that belief.

I may not be sure about multitude things, but this is one thing that is certain.

The love I have for him had ran through two of my lifetimes, and I am sure it will run ten or more lifetimes. He caressed my cheeks with his calloused fingertips and somehow, I wouldn't have asked for anything more.

It used to be just a lovelorn state for me, but now I live it. All those years of waiting patiently and losing faith, they were all worth it. If I could go back in time and tell seventeen year old Brett about my life now at twenty-six, I would ask him to never be anxious. He will eventually get what he wanted for years.

Sure, it might've taken a long time but that does not matter. I am happier than ever.