《Girls Need Love》Chapter 32: Shaky Ground
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I was beyond pissed. I pulled up at Keith's place and headed straight to the door. I started banging like a mad man until it was open by Carmen. She mugged me.
"What do you want?"
"Where's Keith?"
"Keith!" she yelled
"What?" he walked up "Yo Travis what are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you"
"Alright" he kissed her before stepping outside and closing the door "What's up?"
"You weren't going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"Micah's fucking pregnant!" I raised my voice "You didn't think you should tell me that?"
"That wasn't my place professionally or personally"
"Oh it's like that?"
"Travis stop acting like that girl didn't try to tell you. Shit half them calls she made that whole month she tried where at my house! You didn't want to fucking know! So don't come at me like I'm some bad fucking friend for not telling you"
"You think it's mine?"
"Do I think---Nigga is you serious right now?"
"Should've known"
"Look, I know shit got crazy between you and Mic... but she never cheated on you man. You let somebody hit you with some foul ass lies"
"Yall can believe her ass, but it's not true... I know what it is"
"Whoever told you that shit lied..." he shook his head "You didn't even try to hear her out though so it's on you"
"I tried to talk---"
"You went looking for what you wanted to hear. She told you the truth but you had already decided what the truth was... Everyone want to talk to you. Niggas was flying in trying to hit you up but she stopped it all"
"What?"
"Yeah" he nodded "Said if you couldn't believe the truth when she said it then it didn't matter what really happen. You said everything you felt about her... you ruin yall relationship. Not her"
I looked away from him feeling odd yet again.
"You my boy and you always will be... but you foul for everything you said and did to Micah. I don't even think you realize what all you did... through everything though, she only thought about you. She gave up trying to tell you because of how stressed it made her. She gave up because it took three months before she believed me that her baby was gone make it. Now she's having two.... she hasn't danced, changed her diet, don't really do anything. All so your child, your children, can make it here. And what you do? Leave her all by herself... for Khari wack ass?"
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"Aye---"
"Nah" he shook his head "You let them talk you into going back to a broad that's been foul throughout everything you've been through with her. Shit she was foul when yall wasn't together. But that's who you marrying"
"We always end up together. It's just how it is... it works for us"
"Are you happy?"
"Man---"
"No bullshit... Travis are you happy?"
"I'm doing what I gotta do for my family. Khari is having my baby and we gone be a family and make this shit work. All the rest of this bullshit is just background noise"
"Micah and your daughters are background noise?"
"I don't know---"
"It's already too late for you and Micah.... but don't ruin your chance to be there for you kids"
"I need to go" I shook my head
"As much as I hate to admit it... Micah don't got the heart to block you out. Just step up"
"Thanks man"
We shook up before I headed out. I couldn't deal with the rest of this bullshit. I decided to head home and just end my day early. I shut off everything and took time to think about everything that just came out. I didn't know what to do... I needed to figure it out soon.
**********************
I sat at work the next morning day dreaming about Micah. I had been on her instagram page all morning watching the video Reagan showed me over and over again. If the kids were mine... I missed the whole pregnancy... but it wasn't my baby. I had to know for sure that it wasn't mine.
My thoughts were interrupted by my dad walking into my office. He sat down and waited for me to speak. I shook my head at him knowing he was probably here about Reagan.
"What's up dad"
"Where do you want to start first? You and Reagan? Or Micah?"
"Dad---"
"Pick one because we having these conversations today"
"I didn't do anything to Reagan"
"You don't understand where your sister is coming from... She just wasn't raised like you and Olivia. Her mother was very humble and always pushed her to do the right thing no matter who it hurt. In this situation, she standing up for her friend and the mother of her nieces apparently"
"One: if that's her niece it's because of Ralph. Two: Reagan can feel how she wants but that doesn't change what happen between the two of us. Our relationship has nothing to do with anyone but Micah and me"
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"You didn't treat it that way" he raised an eyebrow
"That's different dad"
"How? You brought other people into the relationship to boost it ending"
"I didn't! I went looking for the truth and I found it"
"You found what you were looking for, yes... but you don't know if that was the truth or not. You weren't concerned about the truth son. You believed what you saw and looked for validation"
"Dad why are you doing this now?"
"Because... your sister reminded me of the choices I made... choices that I don't necessarily regret but I wish I would've went about it all differently. I don't want you making those same choices. So tell me son, why did you really end it all with Micah"
"She cheated on me dad! She---"
"You and I both know that isn't likely"
We stared at each other for a few minutes before I sat back sighing.
"I don't know pops" I looked out the window "I really thought it was true... "
"Why?"
"Everything was going wrong... I thought she got tired of it all and was ready to move on. I talk to mom about---"
"Son I love your mother but that was the wrong damn person"
"We didn't talk about Micah cheating... I talk to her about marrying Micah and starting a family with her. I was trying to squash the messy bs that kept happening" I shook my head "It was like I realize it'll never end. Micah and me just can't be together and be happy"
"Son you are literally living the same life I've lived"
"What do you mean?"
"Well Travis" he sighed "The truth of the matter is. I wanted to be with Reagan's mother. I love your mom... she's my wife... but Reagan's mother was the love of my life. She wouldn't be with me though. She wanted me to make my family work. She wanted you to have the family you were accustomed to--"
"What? So you stayed with mom because she didn't want you" I felt myself get defensive over my mother "What type of shit---"
"That's what they both wanted" he shrugged "Your mother didn't care why I stayed. She just wanted me to stay. She didn't care that my love for her wasn't the same or that I was with her for you and Liv. Your mother just didn't want to lose me to Rita..."
"She knows"
"I told her... I thought maybe it would change how she felt but she didn't care. She wanted her husband and her prestigious family. Rita just wanted you to be happy"
"Me?"
"Reagan was still a small baby when all of this happen... but you were a little boy. You were angry and never wanted me to leave the house. I brought you to see Reagan and you just were so upset. Rita just wanted you to be happy. She felt like Reagan would be fine because it would be the only thing she knew"
I was shocked and just looked at him with my mouth hanging open.
"Our situation aren't exactly the same... but I allowed the wants and needs of your mother to cloud what I truly wanted. I also let the woman I love go because I thought we were better off apart because it seemed like no matter how bad I wanted us to be together... something said otherwise"
"Dad---"
"I know you don't really want to be with Khari. As sweet as she can be... no one has ever made you smile like Micah does and that's still true. I know the face of a man in love... and that's not the one Khari give you"
"It too late dad"
"It's never too late. You think that girl doesn't love you as much as you love her? You think she won't fight to work it out. Yes, she's hurt and it damn sure won't be easy. But I promise you, you'll regret the day you let her walk away" he stood up "Just think about it son"
With that, my dad left leaving my mind in a worst shape than before he came. My mind toggled between the two. Yes, Khari was the easier relationship... but I was never as happy as the moments I shared with Micah. Khari did love me, but I knew Micah loved me more. I did love Khari, but Micah was the love of my life.
I froze when it hit me that my dad was right. I was living his life all over again. The details were different but the story was the same. I decided to leave work and go for a drive to clear my head. There was nothing for me to do. It was too late to change anything... right?
________________________________________________________________________________
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