《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXXII
Advertisement
Levin had long before made the observation that when one is uncomfortable with people from their being excessively amenable and meek, one is apt very soon after to find things intolerable from their touchiness and irritability. He felt that this was how it would be with his brother. And his brother Nikolay’s gentleness did in fact not last out for long. The very next morning he began to be irritable, and seemed doing his best to find fault with his brother, attacking him on his tenderest points.
Levin felt himself to blame, and could not set things right. He felt that if they had both not kept up appearances, but had spoken, as it is called, from the heart—that is to say, had said only just what they were thinking and feeling—they would simply have looked into each other’s faces, and Konstantin could only have said, "You’re dying, you’re dying!" and Nikolay could only have answered, "I know I’m dying, but I’m afraid, I’m afraid, I’m afraid!" And they could have said nothing more, if they had said only what was in their hearts. But life like that was impossible, and so Konstantin tried to do what he had been trying to do all his life, and never could learn to do, though, as far as he could observe, many people knew so well how to do it, and without it there was no living at all. He tried to say what he was not thinking, but he felt continually that it had a ring of falsehood, that his brother detected him in it, and was exasperated at it.
The third day Nikolay induced his brother to explain his plan to him again, and began not merely attacking it, but intentionally confounding it with communism.
"You’ve simply borrowed an idea that’s not your own, but you’ve distorted it, and are trying to apply it where it’s not applicable."
Advertisement
"But I tell you it’s nothing to do with it. They deny the justice of property, of capital, of inheritance, while I do not deny this chief stimulus." (Levin felt disgusted himself at using such expressions, but ever since he had been engrossed by his work, he had unconsciously come more and more frequently to use words not Russian.) "All I want is to regulate labor."
"Which means, you’ve borrowed an idea, stripped it of all that gave it its force, and want to make believe that it’s something new," said Nikolay, angrily tugging at his necktie.
"But my idea has nothing in common..."
"That, anyway," said Nikolay Levin, with an ironical smile, his eyes flashing malignantly, "has the charm of—what’s one to call it?—geometrical symmetry, of clearness, of definiteness. It may be a Utopia. But if once one allows the possibility of making of all the past a tabula rasa—no property, no family—then labor would organize itself. But you gain nothing..."
"Why do you mix things up? I’ve never been a communist."
"But I have, and I consider it’s premature, but rational, and it has a future, just like Christianity in its first ages."
"All that I maintain is that the labor force ought to be investigated from the point of view of natural science; that is to say, it ought to be studied, its qualities ascertained..."
"But that’s utter waste of time. That force finds a certain form of activity of itself, according to the stage of its development. There have been slaves first everywhere, then metayers; and we have the half-crop system, rent, and day laborers. What are you trying to find?"
Levin suddenly lost his temper at these words, because at the bottom of his heart he was afraid that it was true—true that he was trying to hold the balance even between communism and the familiar forms, and that this was hardly possible.
Advertisement
"I am trying to find means of working productively for myself and for the laborers. I want to organize..." he answered hotly.
"You don’t want to organize anything; it’s simply just as you’ve been all your life, that you want to be original to pose as not exploiting the peasants simply, but with some idea in view."
"Oh, all right, that’s what you think—and let me alone!" answered Levin, feeling the muscles of his left cheek twitching uncontrollably.
"You’ve never had, and never have, convictions; all you want is to please your vanity."
"Oh, very well; then let me alone!"
"And I will let you alone! and it’s high time I did, and go to the devil with you! and I’m very sorry I ever came!"
In spite of all Levin’s efforts to soothe his brother afterwards, Nikolay would listen to nothing he said, declaring that it was better to part, and Konstantin saw that it simply was that life was unbearable to him.
Nikolay was just getting ready to go, when Konstantin went in to him again and begged him, rather unnaturally, to forgive him if he had hurt his feelings in any way.
"Ah, generosity!" said Nikolay, and he smiled. "If you want to be right, I can give you that satisfaction. You’re in the right; but I’m going all the same."
It was only just at parting that Nikolay kissed him, and said, looking with sudden strangeness and seriousness at his brother:
"Anyway, don’t remember evil against me, Kostya!" and his voice quivered. These were the only words that had been spoken sincerely between them. Levin knew that those words meant, "You see, and you know, that I’m in a bad way, and maybe we shall not see each other again." Levin knew this, and the tears gushed from his eyes. He kissed his brother once more, but he could not speak, and knew not what to say.
Three days after his brother’s departure, Levin too set off for his foreign tour. Happening to meet Shtcherbatsky, Kitty’s cousin, in the railway train, Levin greatly astonished him by his depression.
"What’s the matter with you?" Shtcherbatsky asked him.
"Oh, nothing; there’s not much happiness in life."
"Not much? You come with me to Paris instead of to Mulhausen. You shall see how to be happy."
"No, I’ve done with it all. It’s time I was dead."
"Well, that’s a good one!" said Shtcherbatsky, laughing; "why, I’m only just getting ready to begin."
"Yes, I thought the same not long ago, but now I know I shall soon be dead."
Levin said what he had genuinely been thinking of late. He saw nothing but death or the advance towards death in everything. But his cherished scheme only engrossed him the more. Life had to be got through somehow till death did come. Darkness had fallen upon everything for him; but just because of this darkness he felt that the one guiding clue in the darkness was his work, and he clutched it and clung to it with all his strength.
Advertisement
- In Serial27 Chapters
The Necromancer Raids Again
It's been two weeks since the teenage necromancer Scott Havenbrook saved Craven Falls from a daemonic invasion and ressurected Amber-although imperfectly. But rest is for the dead, as new trouble brews in the shadows. But stalking the streets is more than one new breed of monster. Kevin the comic geek is a newly minted member of the undead, adn he's lookign to take a bite out of crime. Can these horrifying heroes learn to work together, or will a sinister sorcery tear the fragile peace apart?
8 155 - In Serial9 Chapters
A Thousand Ways to say "Home"
Not even the apocalypse can crush humankind's desire to walk among the stars. In what was once the American Pacific Northwest, a massive complex known as Hope's Enclave has been constructed, home of the Ifterra Project, humanity's latest attempt to reach the stars and make them their home. But all is not as it seems in the Enclave or in the Project, and threats wait outside - from the armies of John Seid's America Eterna in the east, to their far-off allies the Invictan Empire, to the mysterious Aliens who have taken up residence in the sky and will speak only to Ifterra Project. When fresh blood arrives to work on the project, something is set into motion that might either send humanity far into the universe, or plunge it into a new age of violence and fear.
8 129 - In Serial7 Chapters
LIlith's Firstborn
The legend says that the Forbidden Fruit made the first two humans – Adam and Eve – intelligent, but what if it was the other way around? What if the Forbidden Fruit took most of their humility, their intelligence, their kindness, etc. away and turn them into the discriminating, angry, and hateful humans that they are? What if the only way to turn back into their former selves was to lead a good life on Earth to cleanse their souls? The legend also says that Lilith was a demoness who fled from Heaven and was granted mercy when she showed humility and proved that her soul was still worthy of saving despite all her wrongdoings. What if, after centuries of sinning, Lilith finally found her way back to kindness? What if God forgave Lilith for her crimes? What if she gave birth to a baby after she had repented? And what if that baby is the only human soul in existence that isn’t tainted by the Forbidden Fruit or her past sins? Tallitanya of Lilith inherited her mother’s immortality and grew up at a rate much slower than an average human so she had witnessed the rise and fall of empires even though she is physically and mentally 21 years old. She was born on Earth, but she moved to Heaven when she was physically 5 years old and didn’t return until she was 18 years old. She was tasked, by God himself, to guard over the Forbidden Tree which had since been replanted on an isolated island on Earth. She loves that job, and she loves that she was given direct instructions instead of having to figure out what God’s so-called ‘mysterious plans’ for her was. Centuries went by. Tallitanya is 21 years old when the Final Judgement is nigh. As an immortal who has yet to have a real affiliation with Heaven or Hell, Tallitanya has received a personal invitation from the Antichrist who wishes to recruit Tallitanya. Heaven also sends its angel – Michael – to inform Tallitanya that as a human, her soul would also be judged by God. She was ordered to leave her post as the Forbidden Tree’s guardian so that she could get to know the other humans before she makes an actual decision about who she wants to align herself with. The second she steps out of the island, it disappears. Turns out, her message from God was faked, and so was her mission. The devil had tricked her, and as the guardian of the Forbidden Tree, she must recover the tree and the island, or humanity will perish within the year.
8 132 - In Serial31 Chapters
Spirit Dragon
Alex had always wanted to be an adventurer. The money, power, fame, and thrill of battle drew him in. Finally, he completes his training at the guild school, top of his class in almost every subject, and starts off his new life of protecting villages, and rescuing innocents. But rather than waking up in a tavern after his first job, he is in the entrance of a cave in the middle of nowhere. Not only that, but his perfectly trained adventurer body has been replaced by a baby dragon! Now, he must join an unlikely team to find out what happened to him and find a way to restore his lost humanity.
8 164 - In Serial32 Chapters
Bleach: The Shadow Shinigami
One day in the Kurosaki family instead of giving birth to one child the family had two sons at a very young age and that child went down a rode which he follows to become strong.I don't own bleach.
8 215 - In Serial32 Chapters
My Luna, Helena.
*• POV IS IN BOTH MALE AND FEMALE•*•• Any similarity to a different story is a complete coincidence! I thought of this story on my own.••18 year old Helena Celine was known for her beauty and kindness, but also known for being abused and alone. She's always been different for having white hair and vibrant purple eyes.Her family has rejected her completely and everyone's labeled her as the outcast. Her 2 older brothers contribute to the beatings while her father and mother stand by and watch.Alpha Levi is aware of the way his pack treats Helena but he takes no actions to stop her torture. In fact, he joins in every one and a while to make the poor girl more miserable and broken.When they clash on Helena's 18th birthday he knows right away he needs to reject her. To him she's incapable of running a pack, especially when that pack hates her.Lucky for Helena, she takes the rejection quite good and is able to find the strength inside of her to get out and move on to something better.--I SUCK AT DESCRIPTIONS IM SO SORRY!!!
8 144

