《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXXI
Advertisement
As intensely as Anna had longed to see her son, and long as she had been thinking of it and preparing herself for it, she had not in the least expected that seeing him would affect her so deeply. On getting back to her lonely rooms in the hotel she could not for a long while understand why she was there. "Yes, it’s all over, and I am again alone," she said to herself, and without taking off her hat she sat down in a low chair by the hearth. Fixing her eyes on a bronze clock standing on a table between the windows, she tried to think.
The French maid brought from abroad came in to suggest she should dress. She gazed at her wonderingly and said, "Presently." A footman offered her coffee. "Later on," she said.
The Italian nurse, after having taken the baby out in her best, came in with her, and brought her to Anna. The plump, well-fed little baby, on seeing her mother, as she always did, held out her fat little hands, and with a smile on her toothless mouth, began, like a fish with a float, bobbing her fingers up and down the starched folds of her embroidered skirt, making them rustle. It was impossible not to smile, not to kiss the baby, impossible not to hold out a finger for her to clutch, crowing and prancing all over; impossible not to offer her a lip which she sucked into her little mouth by way of a kiss. And all this Anna did, and took her in her arms and made her dance, and kissed her fresh little cheek and bare little elbows; but at the sight of this child it was plainer than ever to her that the feeling she had for her could not be called love in comparison with what she felt for Seryozha. Everything in this baby was charming, but for some reason all this did not go deep to her heart. On her first child, though the child of an unloved father, had been concentrated all the love that had never found satisfaction. Her baby girl had been born in the most painful circumstances and had not had a hundredth part of the care and thought which had been concentrated on her first child. Besides, in the little girl everything was still in the future, while Seryozha was by now almost a personality, and a personality dearly loved. In him there was a conflict of thought and feeling; he understood her, he loved her, he judged her, she thought, recalling his words and his eyes. And she was forever—not physically only but spiritually—divided from him, and it was impossible to set this right.
Advertisement
She gave the baby back to the nurse, let her go, and opened the locket in which there was Seryozha’s portrait when he was almost of the same age as the girl. She got up, and, taking off her hat, took up from a little table an album in which there were photographs of her son at different ages. She wanted to compare them, and began taking them out of the album. She took them all out except one, the latest and best photograph. In it he was in a white smock, sitting astride a chair, with frowning eyes and smiling lips. It was his best, most characteristic expression. With her little supple hands, her white, delicate fingers, that moved with a peculiar intensity today, she pulled at a corner of the photograph, but the photograph had caught somewhere, and she could not get it out. There was no paper knife on the table, and so, pulling out the photograph that was next to her son’s (it was a photograph of Vronsky taken at Rome in a round hat and with long hair), she used it to push out her son’s photograph. "Oh, here is he!" she said, glancing at the portrait of Vronsky, and she suddenly recalled that he was the cause of her present misery. She had not once thought of him all the morning. But now, coming all at once upon that manly, noble face, so familiar and so dear to her, she felt a sudden rush of love for him.
"But where is he? How is it he leaves me alone in my misery?" she thought all at once with a feeling of reproach, forgetting she had herself kept from him everything concerning her son. She sent to ask him to come to her immediately; with a throbbing heart she awaited him, rehearsing to herself the words in which she would tell him all, and the expressions of love with which he would console her. The messenger returned with the answer that he had a visitor with him, but that he would come immediately, and that he asked whether she would let him bring with him Prince Yashvin, who had just arrived in Petersburg. "He’s not coming alone, and since dinner yesterday he has not seen me," she thought; "he’s not coming so that I could tell him everything, but coming with Yashvin." And all at once a strange idea came to her: what if he had ceased to love her?
Advertisement
And going over the events of the last few days, it seemed to her that she saw in everything a confirmation of this terrible idea. The fact that he had not dined at home yesterday, and the fact that he had insisted on their taking separate sets of rooms in Petersburg, and that even now he was not coming to her alone, as though he were trying to avoid meeting her face to face.
"But he ought to tell me so. I must know that it is so. If I knew it, then I know what I should do," she said to herself, utterly unable to picture to herself the position she would be in if she were convinced of his not caring for her. She thought he had ceased to love her, she felt close upon despair, and consequently she felt exceptionally alert. She rang for her maid and went to her dressing room. As she dressed, she took more care over her appearance than she had done all those days, as though he might, if he had grown cold to her, fall in love with her again because she had dressed and arranged her hair in the way most becoming to her.
She heard the bell ring before she was ready. When she went into the drawing room it was not he, but Yashvin, who met her eyes. Vronsky was looking through the photographs of her son, which she had forgotten on the table, and he made no haste to look round at her.
"We have met already," she said, putting her little hand into the huge hand of Yashvin, whose bashfulness was so queerly out of keeping with his immense frame and coarse face. "We met last year at the races. Give them to me," she said, with a rapid movement snatching from Vronsky the photographs of her son, and glancing significantly at him with flashing eyes. "Were the races good this year? Instead of them I saw the races in the Corso in Rome. But you don’t care for life abroad," she said with a cordial smile. "I know you and all your tastes, though I have seen so little of you."
"I’m awfully sorry for that, for my tastes are mostly bad," said Yashvin, gnawing at his left mustache.
Having talked a little while, and noticing that Vronsky glanced at the clock, Yashvin asked her whether she would be staying much longer in Petersburg, and unbending his huge figure reached after his cap.
"Not long, I think," she said hesitatingly, glancing at Vronsky.
"So then we shan’t meet again?"
"Come and dine with me," said Anna resolutely, angry it seemed with herself for her embarrassment, but flushing as she always did when she defined her position before a fresh person. "The dinner here is not good, but at least you will see him. There is no one of his old friends in the regiment Alexey cares for as he does for you."
"Delighted," said Yashvin with a smile, from which Vronsky could see that he liked Anna very much.
Yashvin said good-bye and went away; Vronsky stayed behind.
"Are you going too?" she said to him.
"I’m late already," he answered. "Run along! I’ll catch you up in a moment," he called to Yashvin.
She took him by the hand, and without taking her eyes off him, gazed at him while she ransacked her mind for the words to say that would keep him.
"Wait a minute, there’s something I want to say to you," and taking his broad hand she pressed it on her neck. "Oh, was it right my asking him to dinner?"
"You did quite right," he said with a serene smile that showed his even teeth, and he kissed her hand.
"Alexey, you have not changed to me?" she said, pressing his hand in both of hers. "Alexey, I am miserable here. When are we going away?"
"Soon, soon. You wouldn’t believe how disagreeable our way of living here is to me too," he said, and he drew away his hand.
"Well, go, go!" she said in a tone of offense, and she walked quickly away from him.
Advertisement
- In Serial60 Chapters
Combat Archaeologist: Rowan
Rowan is a street-rat who just wants to live a normal life. All he yearns for is a roof over his head, a second set of clothes, and maybe the occasional apple pie. Unfortunately, life has other plans for him. Forced to flee the city with only the rags on his back and the knife between his ribs, Rowan sets off into a world that wants him dead.
8 173 - In Serial57 Chapters
God Of The Arts
Vote For GOTA on TopWebFiction Tags: World Building, Third Person Omniscent POV, Bits of Humor and much more to come. Blurb For The Series The plagued young noble of the Aurum bloodline is tossed into the politics of his homeland. What starts as a path to revenge grows ever brighter, ever vivid into a path to the peak. Through time and Fate's interweaving fingers he experiences all life has to offer as he reaches for beyond the skies, the enigma known as life unraveling at every stroke of his brush. The vastness of the cosmos is unparalleled, but every treasure has misfortune within. Can Mona Aurum make use of his personal twist of fate to become much more than anyone ever envisioned and become a God? Watch as this piece of art is created, one dab of paint, one change of brush, one coating at a time. Current Book Summary Book 2: ?With their new statuses as noble servants Mona, Reithar, and the Varlier brothers are assured a life with little difficulty and excellent opportunities. Word spreads of the young master of the Faulkner family and how he had taken Mona Aurum for his own, bringing envy and suspicion on Eric Faulkner. Gryfor, on the other hand, is forgotten by the public, charged with crimes Parsmir works to erase. But when the accused committed such an act as Lifeblood refining, evading a sentence is difficult indeed. ??Unsure of which method to take, the Merister royal family finds itself desiring the last Aurum descendant without offending the future head of Faulkner. To do so, the Duke of Wessor joins in the fray, hoping to profit in turn. Meanwhile, between the two generations of Faulkner, the rift between father and son only continues to grow. Just what did Rigor do to his wife, only few can tell. ??His Lunar Mark beginning to show its true worth, Mona makes use of this chance to fully explore this treasure. His skill in Aura rising and his stability in Alberdos assured, Mona remains alert of the ever nearing grasp of the Merister Emperor. His desire for vengeance only continues to grow. Author's Note I am currently writing GOTA Book 2: Royal Deception. For all my fans and followers, here is the update of the story. Anywho, do rate this story, comment. I have a Patreon to those willing to contribute to support me as a writer. The God Of The Arts Website will have each book's summary posted there, among other things. I hope you enjoy this story of mine. Thanks again for reading this everchanging story line. Signed, OmegaAlphaTau Friday, December 21, 2016 Licensing This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
8 129 - In Serial116 Chapters
Aliens.exe
Jake is a mess. He's completely sick of life. His only interest is the video game Lapine Death Corps which is played all over the universe. Jake has no inclination for social interaction, except through video games, of course. In fact he actively shuns it - so you can imagine his dismay when he inadvertantly starts an intergalactic war and becomes the most wanted man in the universe. He just needs to be boring old Jake again. Could his favourite video game be his saviour, and, somehow, the key to ending the war? Strap yourself in for a hilarious, good vs evil, rollercoaster ride across the galaxy.
8 159 - In Serial7 Chapters
Necromancer King
Sometimes, you just want to release your pent up anger form real life. And one of the best places to do it is in a game. Ever since its launch, World of Aingarrth allowed players to fulfill their wish. Do you want to be an asshole? Go ahead. Do you want to be a shiny white knight? You do you. Players are free to choose and define themselves in the brand new VRMMORPG. It takes the world by storm. Not only by how unique the MMORPG is, but also because there is roleplay mode. It allows people to set their own settings, either fantasy towns, schools or even graveyards. Then, choose scenarios that are going to happen, like getting married or saving a princess. They would then play as the main character, and the story adapts to their decision. Kei, a 29-year-old corner store clerk, decided to try it out. He has enough of his plain boring life, where many people treat him like trash. Each time after work, he would spend hours playing the game, even if it means he must sacrifice his sleep. He sometimes plays the roleplay mode, but he is more attracted to the MMORPG mode His passion inspires a certain guild leader, who takes him in and makes him his vice. With his help, the guild slowly builds up, until it gets to be the biggest villains guild in the server. One day, after work, Kei is about to launch the game when he fell asleep. When he opens his eyes, he is surprised to find himself laying on a pedestal in a tomb. With a girl kneeling beside him. He didn't realize he was transported to another world. Nor that there were others who were transported there too. A/N : The story is being rewritten. Photo by Mike Ko on Unsplash
8 123 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Weaver's Wrath
Millennia have passed since the end of the God Wars. Mankind's heroes of these wars, the powerful Luminescents, have since become the rulers of the lands, relying on their ancestors' deeds to fuel their own ambitions. The Church itself has fractured since the death of their Goddess. Now it has shifted its focus to a new power - the descendents of the men and women who had received her blessing in the past - the Luminescents. However, with the death of the Goddess Selene, their own abilities began to lessen in quality with each successive generation, leaving them grasping desperately at whatever they can; money, lands, power. Sevrath was born in a time far different than that of ages past. Much of the continent was under the rule of the powerful Luminescent rulers. The Gods were dead and gone; the age of man had begun. Only the Desolate Lands lay unconquered and resolute, a relic of the power of Deimos, the God of Death and Destruction. So when he is found near the borders of the Desolate Lands, what does it mean? Is he some spawn of demon, like many of the townsfolk of Carthal believe, or something else altogether? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This will not necessarily be something that is updated often. Book 1: The Weaver's Wrath Book 2: The Berserker's Burden Book 3: The Artificer's Absolution Book 4: The Guardian's Grace
8 260 - In Serial6 Chapters
Bechole A broken Wolfs life
Beca feels drawn to the howls of a pained wolf while leading her pack back from a hunt, she has no choice but to investigate. Werewolf AU G!PI don't own anything I'm just a fan, came up with this while refusing to get out of bed on a Saturday morning. Lol G!P Bechloe AU
8 117

