《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXI
Advertisement
"No, I think the princess is tired, and horses don’t interest her," Vronsky said to Anna, who wanted to go on to the stables, where Sviazhsky wished to see the new stallion. "You go on, while I escort the princess home, and we’ll have a little talk," he said, "if you would like that?" he added, turning to her.
"I know nothing about horses, and I shall be delighted," answered Darya Alexandrovna, rather astonished.
She saw by Vronsky’s face that he wanted something from her. She was not mistaken. As soon as they had passed through the little gate back into the garden, he looked in the direction Anna had taken, and having made sure that she could neither hear nor see them, he began:
"You guess that I have something I want to say to you," he said, looking at her with laughing eyes. "I am not wrong in believing you to be a friend of Anna’s." He took off his hat, and taking out his handkerchief, wiped his head, which was growing bald.
Darya Alexandrovna made no answer, and merely stared at him with dismay. When she was left alone with him, she suddenly felt afraid; his laughing eyes and stern expression scared her.
The most diverse suppositions as to what he was about to speak of to her flashed into her brain. "He is going to beg me to come to stay with them with the children, and I shall have to refuse; or to create a set that will receive Anna in Moscow.... Or isn’t it Vassenka Veslovsky and his relations with Anna? Or perhaps about Kitty, that he feels he was to blame?" All her conjectures were unpleasant, but she did not guess what he really wanted to talk about to her.
"You have so much influence with Anna, she is so fond of you," he said; "do help me."
Darya Alexandrovna looked with timid inquiry into his energetic face, which under the lime-trees was continually being lighted up in patches by the sunshine, and then passing into complete shadow again. She waited for him to say more, but he walked in silence beside her, scratching with his cane in the gravel.
"You have come to see us, you, the only woman of Anna’s former friends—I don’t count Princess Varvara—but I know that you have done this not because you regard our position as normal, but because, understanding all the difficulty of the position, you still love her and want to be a help to her. Have I understood you rightly?" he asked, looking round at her.
Advertisement
"Oh, yes," answered Darya Alexandrovna, putting down her sunshade, "but..."
"No," he broke in, and unconsciously, oblivious of the awkward position into which he was putting his companion, he stopped abruptly, so that she had to stop short too. "No one feels more deeply and intensely than I do all the difficulty of Anna’s position; and that you may well understand, if you do me the honor of supposing I have any heart. I am to blame for that position, and that is why I feel it."
"I understand," said Darya Alexandrovna, involuntarily admiring the sincerity and firmness with which he said this. "But just because you feel yourself responsible, you exaggerate it, I am afraid," she said. "Her position in the world is difficult, I can well understand."
"In the world it is hell!" he brought out quickly, frowning darkly. "You can’t imagine moral sufferings greater than what she went through in Petersburg in that fortnight ... and I beg you to believe it."
"Yes, but here, so long as neither Anna ... nor you miss society..."
"Society!" he said contemptuously, "how could I miss society?"
"So far—and it may be so always—you are happy and at peace. I see in Anna that she is happy, perfectly happy, she has had time to tell me so much already," said Darya Alexandrovna, smiling; and involuntarily, as she said this, at the same moment a doubt entered her mind whether Anna really were happy.
But Vronsky, it appeared, had no doubts on that score.
"Yes, yes," he said, "I know that she has revived after all her sufferings; she is happy. She is happy in the present. But I?... I am afraid of what is before us ... I beg your pardon, you would like to walk on?"
"No, I don’t mind."
"Well, then, let us sit here."
Darya Alexandrovna sat down on a garden seat in a corner of the avenue. He stood up facing her.
"I see that she is happy," he repeated, and the doubt whether she were happy sank more deeply into Darya Alexandrovna’s mind. "But can it last? Whether we have acted rightly or wrongly is another question, but the die is cast," he said, passing from Russian to French, "and we are bound together for life. We are united by all the ties of love that we hold most sacred. We have a child, we may have other children. But the law and all the conditions of our position are such that thousands of complications arise which she does not see and does not want to see. And that one can well understand. But I can’t help seeing them. My daughter is by law not my daughter, but Karenin’s. I cannot bear this falsity!" he said, with a vigorous gesture of refusal, and he looked with gloomy inquiry towards Darya Alexandrovna.
Advertisement
She made no answer, but simply gazed at him. He went on:
"One day a son may be born, my son, and he will be legally a Karenin; he will not be the heir of my name nor of my property, and however happy we may be in our home life and however many children we may have, there will be no real tie between us. They will be Karenins. You can understand the bitterness and horror of this position! I have tried to speak of this to Anna. It irritates her. She does not understand, and to her I cannot speak plainly of all this. Now look at another side. I am happy, happy in her love, but I must have occupation. I have found occupation, and am proud of what I am doing and consider it nobler than the pursuits of my former companions at court and in the army. And most certainly I would not change the work I am doing for theirs. I am working here, settled in my own place, and I am happy and contented, and we need nothing more to make us happy. I love my work here. Ce n’est pas un pis-aller, on the contrary..."
Darya Alexandrovna noticed that at this point in his explanation he grew confused, and she did not quite understand this digression, but she felt that having once begun to speak of matters near his heart, of which he could not speak to Anna, he was now making a clean breast of everything, and that the question of his pursuits in the country fell into the same category of matters near his heart, as the question of his relations with Anna.
"Well, I will go on," he said, collecting himself. "The great thing is that as I work I want to have a conviction that what I am doing will not die with me, that I shall have heirs to come after me,—and this I have not. Conceive the position of a man who knows that his children, the children of the woman he loves, will not be his, but will belong to someone who hates them and cares nothing about them! It is awful!"
He paused, evidently much moved.
"Yes, indeed, I see that. But what can Anna do?" queried Darya Alexandrovna.
"Yes, that brings me to the object of my conversation," he said, calming himself with an effort. "Anna can, it depends on her.... Even to petition the Tsar for legitimization, a divorce is essential. And that depends on Anna. Her husband agreed to a divorce—at that time your husband had arranged it completely. And now, I know, he would not refuse it. It is only a matter of writing to him. He said plainly at that time that if she expressed the desire, he would not refuse. Of course," he said gloomily, "it is one of those Pharisaical cruelties of which only such heartless men are capable. He knows what agony any recollection of him must give her, and knowing her, he must have a letter from her. I can understand that it is agony to her. But the matter is of such importance, that one must passer pardessus toutes ces finesses de sentiment. Il y va du bonheur et de l’existence d’Anne et de ses enfants. I won’t speak of myself, though it’s hard for me, very hard," he said, with an expression as though he were threatening someone for its being hard for him. "And so it is, princess, that I am shamelessly clutching at you as an anchor of salvation. Help me to persuade her to write to him and ask for a divorce."
"Yes, of course," Darya Alexandrovna said dreamily, as she vividly recalled her last interview with Alexey Alexandrovitch. "Yes, of course," she repeated with decision, thinking of Anna.
"Use your influence with her, make her write. I don’t like—I’m almost unable to speak about this to her."
"Very well, I will talk to her. But how is it she does not think of it herself?" said Darya Alexandrovna, and for some reason she suddenly at that point recalled Anna’s strange new habit of half-closing her eyes. And she remembered that Anna drooped her eyelids just when the deeper questions of life were touched upon. "Just as though she half-shut her eyes to her own life, so as not to see everything," thought Dolly. "Yes, indeed, for my own sake and for hers I will talk to her," Dolly said in reply to his look of gratitude.
They got up and walked to the house.
Advertisement
- In Serial347 Chapters
The Menocht Loop
Ian Dunai thought he was powerless. He’s not alone: only a small percent of the population have high enough affinities to perform magic. But in the eyes of his father’s gifted family, Ian’s impotence is a disgrace—and the stain of his mother’s common blood. But on one fateful day, Ian awakens not in his college dorm but in the middle of the ocean on an old dinghy. Reaching land is the least of his problems as he encounters risen skeletons, tortured captives, and a shoreside city in the throes of contagion. Ian doesn’t last very long without magic. But death isn’t the end: Ian wakes back up on the dinghy and relives the day again...and again...and again. As Ian investigates the purpose of the loop and a way to escape, he begins to realize that he might be more powerful than anyone—especially himself—ever imagined. Release schedule: 2 chapters/week (Mon/Fri at 11:30 AM EST). Book 1, The Menocht Loop, is complete at ~100k words (~370 pages; chapters 1-41). Book 2, The False Ascendant, is complete at ~110k words (chapters 42-83) Book 3, The Eldemari's Wrath, is complete at ~145k words (chapters 84-143) Book 4, The Samsara Crucible, is complete at ~165k words (chapters 144-211). Book 5, The Seed of Chaos, is ongoing (chapters 212 and on). Constructive criticism welcome. Join the discord. Vote on Top Web Fiction! View the wiki. Cover art by the very talented Jeff Brown. (Higher res version here; 3840 x 2400 ultra high res wallpaper version here)
8 12482 - In Serial10 Chapters
The Principles of Magic
Eran Magia is an unfortunate boy, he was born into a world of magic, without any to call his own. Shunned and disowned by his own family, teased and bullied by both teachers and students, there was no one in his life that would show him kindness. The abuse had caused Eran to become severely introverted and a classic recluse. But what the cruel world did not know, was that within the boy was a power stronger than any other. After an accident during a duel at Eran's School, the power which was once sealed within Eran was released. The power looked deep into Eran's memories and even his soul. Finding nothing but cruelty in this, strength driven world, the power shifted Eran to a different time, space and reality, in hope of a kinder future. Follow along Eran's journey in another world as he meets new people, learns new things, and tries to get a handle on his new overwhelming power.
8 116 - In Serial195 Chapters
Loremaster of the Amaranthine lands
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge] Meet Regis, your morally grey, know more than most(but surely not all of it) guy. After willingly ending up in another world that has no sunshine and rainbows left to hand out, Regis must keep his wits sharp and his bladestaff sharper if he wants to get out of the refugee filled and monster besieged port-city of Hunor. Follow his ragtag group of outlanders as they waddle through the tense situation brought on by the shortage of supplies and overabundance of enemies in the war-torn kingdonf of Ecragurne. After a considerable amount of nagging by a few precious friends, I chose to share this (once complete and utter mess) book project with you as a participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge. As I am not a native English speaker or professional writer, you can expect a few grammar issues along the way despite my best efforts to clean up my writing. Hence, I wellcome any comments with the intent of helping me getting better (within reasons of course).
8 137 - In Serial28 Chapters
Treads, Rads, and Sand
On a distant planet in a distant future, the crew of the Enoch, a tank the size of a large building, wage a multiple centuries-long war against an enemy they neither understand nor care to. The hostility of the planet in question is one thing, but there are hostile tanks looming in the sandstorms, hunting the Enoch just as the Enoch hunts them. With no end to the war in sight, can the crew of the Enoch survive to see another irradiated day?
8 151 - In Serial32 Chapters
ASHES OF TWILIGHT
If reality is what we make of it. why is existence hell? Oh pray, lament for the tales of yore. Your prophecy was false and your promises fades. Hate drew me from death so I can walk into your hallowed halls. I will stand before your noble court, and with the blood of ten thousand worlds I shall bury your light.
8 193 - In Serial25 Chapters
Glitch — Alpha [Swedish] [Svenska]
Otilia jobbar på förskolan när ett barn försvinner rakt framför ögonen på henne. Sekunder efteråt kommer barnet tillbaka, som att inget hänt. Hon tror att hon är överarbetad, men när försvinnanden börjar hända överallt och de som kommer tillbaka inte är sig själva, förstår Otilia att något, någonstans gått riktigt snett. När hon och hennes pojkvän får en idé om vad som kan vara orsaken gör de allt för att informationen ska komma fram till rätt personer. Detta är en skräck/thriller som innehåller ganska mycket blod och våld. Även mot och med barn. Om detta stör dig råder jag att du håller dig borta. Detta är också den första boken jag någonsin skrev (2015, och knappt rörd sedan dess) och var ämnad att bli en trilogi. Eftersom den bara har legat och skräpat i hårddisken under alla dessa år tänkte jag att jag lika gärna kunde släppa den här. Trevlig läsning! ********* For English readers: (Might as well add this information in English to save the lovely souls looking through our works some time) I probably won't translate this work, but I'm working on another translation within YA, if that's something you'd be interested in. This one's horror/thriller, so.. yeah. Maybe sometime in the future. Otilia works at a daycare when a child disappears. Seconds later, the child reappears, like nothing had happened. She thinks she's worked too much, but when disappearences start to happen all around the globe, she and her boyfriend realize that something has gone really, really wrong. When they get an idea about what could be the cause, no matter how unbelievable, they will do everything in their power to get the information to the right people. This was my first-ever-novel and my first gamelit story (though I had no idea that was a thing/genre at the time). This novel contains a lot of violence and blood and can be uncomfortable to read for some people. There is also some violence from, and off-screen violence to, children.
8 196

