《The last video》Time
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As time progressed, Eddy seemed to get better. Brett had driven him to his therapist for an appointment and since that he had eaten and even been out with Brett once. Sure, he was still a bit flat in his responses and he was still hurting himself, but he seemed better than he had been.
Brett came to this realization at dinner one day, and mentioned it to him.
"You think so?" he had replied, almost like he couldn't believe it, while taking a small bite of the food on his plate. "Well, it's good that you think that." Eddy's reply had confused Brett, but he didn't put a lot of energy into thinking about it. He hadn't denied it, which hopefully was a good sign.
Eddy on the other hand was relieved he thought things were going better. In a way, things were in fact going better. He had managed to convince his therapist and his doctor to prescribe him some sleeping pills so that he could finally get some sleep. They knocked him out, and his head didn't hurt all the time anymore, but he still felt exhausted all the time. He still knew Brett would be better off without him, and he knew he still wasn't eating the amounts he should. It felt kind of nice to be slightly hungry all the time, in weird way. Sure, he knew he needed food to function, but he felt in control and it helped take the focus away from his screaming mind. It was a way of coping, and he didn't think he was brave enough to try the alternative way of dealing with his head. The more permanent way of coping.
They hadn't slept together again since that one time when Brett had come home drunk, and Brett actually missed it. He had liked feeling Eddy's warmth next to him, maybe touching slightly. It felt safe, and he didn't have to worry about what he might be doing at night while Brett was asleep. He knew Eddy wasn't always sleeping at night, and he knew that nighttime was the time the self harm was taking place. It just felt good to know he wasn't doing any of that, you know? He wasn't sure this mean he actually liked him like that, but he knew he didn't mind being that close to Eddy. They hadn't talked about Eddy's little secret in a while. Eddy still refused to even have it mentioned. Any time Brett brought it up, he just left in the middle of whatever they were doing. Maybe if he was given some time he'd come around and talk about it. If that ever happened Eddy would be in for a big surprise for sure, Brett thought and looked over to the still too pale and fragile boy across the table. If he'd just let him talk.
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All the dark roses in my thoughts..
Poetry Collection..
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