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I clicked the door close behind me and tiptoed on the wooden floor, trying not to get it wet from my socks soaked in water. I was shivering because I was completely wet from the rain. I could still hear the thunder outside. It was 10 AM but it was so dark that it seemed it was night- time.

"We have a burglar." Dad's voice came from the hall and I shot my head in his direction, seeing him with his arms folded and staring at me with a serious look.

Shit.

"What are you talking about?" Mom asked as she came out of the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee and handing another one to dad," Gwen? Where did you go dressed up like that?" She asked when she noticed me.

"Ethan Miler's memorial service." I answered as I took off my socks and tossed them on the floor.

"Why would you-" Mom started off.

"I was invited by Elijah." I answered.

"You're completely drenched! Why didn't you take an umbrella with you?" Mom asked.

"Ask her since when she's started going out like that without informing us." Dad told her.

"Mom, dad, let me take a breather. I'm tired and sad. Please, leave me alone for some time." I said as nicely as possible and walked into the hall, all the way to the back of the house. I took off my blazer and put it for laundry after taking out the white rose from the pocket.

I touched the soft petals of the rose and one of them fell off on the floor. I picked it up, wiping the invisible dust off it gently.

It's so beautiful, just like him.

"I feel like we're growing distant." I heard dad talk to mom in the hall, which took my attention off the rose. I stepped a little closer to the hall to listen in, not showing myself.

"What do you mean?" Mom asked.

"She's our only daughter. I can't see her sad all the time and now she's started keeping things from us." Dad said in a troubled tone.

"Let's do as she says." Mom said.

"What about her birthday party that we've planned?" He asked.

"Honey, tomorrow's Christmas eve and we haven't planned a thing. Let's have the party tomorrow." Mom said suggestively.

I walked back to the hall, pretending I didn't hear them talk and climbed upstairs while they watched me quietly. I shut my door and sighed. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate my birthday or Christmas or New Year or go to the wedding. Yet, I couldn't cancel everyone else's plan just because I was on the brink of depression.

Just go with the flow.

After a warm bath and changing into fresh clothes, I sat on my bed and took my newly prescribed pills. They tasted bitter than ever. I had been having pills since 5 years. I was sick of them, but they kept me alive. I was sick of breathing, but it kept me alive. I was sick of thinking about Ethan...but it kept me alive. I was not living, I was dragging myself through life to get somewhere, at some point where I'd be happy. But there was none that I could see in the near future.

.

.

.

I had missed out on school and assignments. I had to cover up quickly in order to not flunk in any subject. The biggest problem was that I didn't feel like studying. Studying was something I regarded as my whole life few months ago and now I was sick of that too. The heavy medication would make me drowsy and I only spent my days and nights sleeping and deep thinking.

I sought to talking to myself and it worked pretty well for me, because I regarded the air in front of me as him and assumed he was listening. That's how I lived through the whole week and then it was New Year.

1st January

Even before I opened my eyes, I groaned and stretched my arms," Good morning Ethan." I spoke as it was my daily routine and sat up," Happy New Year." I opened my eyes and my smile faded a little when I didn't hear a response, but it wasn't new.

The smile formed across my face again. It had always been like that. There was no reason to be disappointed.

I got off the bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. I brushed my teeth lazily and got under the shower.

I could say I was excited because I was attending a wedding. I had been all gloomy on my late birthday party and Christmas. It was suffocating to see my relatives whom I didn't want to socialize with. All I did was zone out and pray for Grandpa and Ethan in church on Christmas.

"Morning mom, morning dad." I said as I climbed down the stairs in my bathrobe. We hugged and wished each other, then had breakfast together and chatted away about random things.

Dad was once again talking out his lousy colleagues and their funny incidents in office. Everything felt normal, honestly, but only on the outside.

Mom and dad were definitely thinking whether I could always be happy like I was at that moment or was there anything bothering me and I was only thinking about Ethan.

"Right Gwen," Dad initiated after we all fell silent. I looked up from my coffee mug at him," Yes?"

"Your grandma will be moving in with us. She feels lonely in town and even your mom and I don't want to leave her alone in that state." He said.

"That's a great news." I chimed," When is she moving in?"

Dad and mom exchanged glances and smiled, seeing me suddenly become so cheerful. I eagerly waited for dad to continue.

"It was originally next month, but if you'd like then we can bring her here next week." He said.

"Awesome!" I clapped once as I got to my feet," I'm excited. Are we throwing a little party to welcome her?"

How could I not put up an act of being happy when I saw them smile ever so brightly? I could at least do that much.

"Well...if you want to." He laughed.

"Leave the cake to me, alright?" I said and glanced at the wall-clock," I lost track of time!"

"When's the ring ceremony?" Mom asked.

"Ms. Frost had especially asked Elijah and me to be there at 10 and help her out a bit." I answered and ran upstairs in a hurry. I only had 25 minutes left until Elijah would be there to pick me.

I pulled out my navy blue sleeveless, off shoulder dress with beautiful floral patterns. It was of knee length and I reckoned I'd feel cold, but we were all gifted with a warm morning and bright sunshine. For once, I felt that day was going to be different and that I would be happy.

When I was done dressing up, I put on some gloss and started doing my hair when the door bell rang downstairs. I continued tying a low bun when mom called out," Gwen! Elijah's here!"

"What? Already?" I questioned myself and let my hair down in a hurry to go downstairs. I sprinted across the hall bare-foot with my hair flying like they were saying 'I tried but failed' and went to the door that was wide open.

Elijah was standing on the threshold, facing his back towards me. He was surprisingly wearing a royal blue tux suit of the same shade as my dress. We hadn't even talked about matching outfits and yet we were, coincidently.

"Hey." I said which made him immediately turn towards me. His phone was pressed against his ear and he passed me a little smile, then raised a hand, gesturing me to hold on.

"Dad, where are you?" He started talking to Mr. Cooper on phone as his call was answered. Meanwhile, I noticed how fresh he looked in that white shirt and a royal blue unbuttoned blazer on top. He wore matching pants, perfectly pressed and formal black leather shoes that matched his titan black neck-tie.

"Where's the venue?...I don't think I've ever been there." He spoke and scratched his left eyebrow," Yes, please send me the location."

I was getting butterflies, thinking what I should do the moment he hangs up and looks at me.

"We'll be there soon." He said and hung up.

A knot tied in my stomach as his gaze fell on me. He looked pretty. He always did, but that day in that outfit, he looked over the top pretty and above perfection.

"You look nice."

We spoke at the same time and I ended up complimenting him which was a bit embarrassing because it was the first thing I said, instead of wishing him.

"Happy New Year."

We spoke together again and I ended up wishing him the same. He laughed, his eyes squinting cutely and his lips forming a perfect curve.

"You're ready." He said, more like a statement than a question.

"Am I?" I asked, looking down at my feet and stroked my open hair.

"You look like you are. Just..." He said and rearranged a few messy strands of my hair," Perfect."

What

is

This?

I felt heat rising in my cheeks. I tried my best to not to look like a tomato in front of him. I had never really noticed it and when he finally got that close to me and stroked my hair like that, with a pure and innocent expression on his face, I realized something- He made me feel the same way towards him, that I used to feel towards Ethan.

This isn't right. I love Ethan. What is wrong with me?!

I knew it was dumb of me to feel things for someone who was dead while ignoring the feelings I had for someone who was alive and with me. It was unfair...towards myself. But, I guessed I was too much in love with Ethan that I had never really thought of letting him go and who the hell would've thought that he would be killed? My plan was to like Ethan all along, not caring if it was unrequited and one-sided love. It was pure love.

It is pure love.

"W-well I need to get my phone from upstairs." I said and he nodded, followed by a perfect smile.

I'm sure he has eyes for someone else and even if he doesn't, it can't be me. Let's just stay as friends. He won't get ahead of himself anyway. It's me that I have to worry about.

I ran upstairs in the same speed I had come down in, to grab my phone and a purse only to keep my medicines in. I came back down in a juncture, not making him wait for me more and grabbed my matching medium heels from the rack, saying bye to mom and dad.

"We're matching." He said and unlocked a car parked a house away from mine from a distance.

"You can drive?" I asked and received a nod before he got inside.

.

.

.

"I'm really bad at directions." I said, scrunching my eyebrows at Elijah's phone screen as I was navigating the route by following the location Mr. Cooper had sent.

"Relax. We've only taken three wrong turns." He said. I could read the humor in his tone even without looking at his face. I was glad he overlooked my poor navigation skills and didn't scowl at me. He wasn't ill-tempered like a certain someone I knew.

"And! If I'm not wrong...turn here. Turn!"

"Where?" He asked.

"Oh! Left." I said immediately when I realized I didn't tell him left or right.

"This is it right?" He stopped the car after the turn.

I looked out of the window and saw a gate decorated with white flowers and pink balloons.

"We're here." I sighed and massaged my shoulders after sitting stiffly in the car. I was so focused that I couldn't even relax. I didn't want us to reach at the wrong destination and then get late all because of me.

I glanced at my phone. It was 15 minutes past 10. We weren't that late but we still were, all because we once entered a wrong alley which was a dead end, so we had to turn around, next I was confused which road to take because they were so close to each other and yes, we took the wrong one so we had to drive all the way back and last, I missed a road so we had to reverse the car. Yet...

"Wait, I'll open the door for you." Elijah said and got off.

He wasn't mad or irritated or annoyed or frustrated.

He walked around the front of the car and opened the door for me, lending me his hand to hold on to. I looked up at him with my mouth open in surprise, then looked down at his palm.

Assuming he was only helping me because I was wearing a dress, without giving it a second thought, I slid my hand into his and got off the car, immediately meeting with his soft hand and the warmth it carried.

I knew it was going to be a great day.