"Dude, you okay?" Nico hollered from the woods.

"Yeah, I'm good." Eli gave me a wary grin as he slowly laced our fingers. "Lilly had my back."

"See? I told you she was the bomb." Nico let out a choked laugh. He was trying to lighten the mood, but it was impossible at a time like this.

The bonfire still burned bright, but it was no longer the active party scene. It had become a horrifying crime scene littered with the dead bodies of our friends.

I didn't have the heart to look at Jessica. It had all happened so fast, and saving Eli was always the priority. I couldn't lose him, and Jessica had the virus. I had no choice.

Jasmine wiped tears from her swollen eyes as she stood, knocking the dirt from her jeans. She was trying to pull herself together, and I was grateful for that. We would need Jasmine's help with the cleanup.

When Nico came into view, I noticed pink around his eyes. He'd been crying as well. That's probably what took him so long to get started and stay on task. I couldn't blame him. Having to shoot Jessica was a lot for me to handle. I couldn't imagine desecrating twelve of my friends while they were laughing and having a good time. Nico was having a hard time just like the rest of us.

Between plowing down a handful of infected on the road and having to slaughter countless others, the last twenty-four hours had been an exhausting whirlwind of shit.

Nico stopped next to Jasmine, checking her out from head to toe. "Hey, don't we know each other?"

Jasmine's eyes widened in recognition. "You were the shooter?"

Glancing around, Nico grimaced. "Yeah. I was."

"No." Jasmine's lips thinned before she stabbed her phone into her back pocket. "You don't know me, and I don't know you."

Nico didn't press the issue as his gaze landed on Todd. "You good, Dude?"

Huddled up in a ball on the ground, Todd was shaking. Was he crying? When he didn't answer, Nico raised his gun and approached him slowly. Todd suddenly looked up. His skin was shiny with sweat, and his eyes were bugging out of his head.

"He was scratched." Eli tugged me forward so we could get a better look.

As we neared Todd, I saw something terrible. His pupils were invading his irises. The scratches definitely passed on the virus, maybe not as quickly, but Todd was going downhill fast.

"Todd?" I wanted to know if he could still comprehend words. "How are you feeling?"

"Lilly? God, I'm so sorry for what I did." Todd shook his head as he gazed at me sadly.

Okay. Color me surprised. Why was he apologizing now? He'd had plenty of opportunities to apologize last year, but instead, he dated my best friend and made me believe a lie.

Todd's blue eyes were glued to me. "I really fucked up that night, didn't I? I should've just let you come around on your own, but what can I say? I was horny, and you were so damn uptight. You barely let me makeout with you. When you told me about your dad's beatings and how he traded your body to pay those men, I knew you would never loosen up enough to give yourself to me. I love you, Lilly. I did then, and I do now. I always thought you and I would end up together. I still want you. Will you come back to me?"

My mouth opened, but no words came out. Todd just outed one of my deepest and darkest secrets to everyone. All eyes were on me, judging me.

Eli's hand slid around my shoulders as he gently guided my trembling body into his chest. I pushed down the need to run away. Todd had no right, but now I knew this virus passed on the truth serum effect as well.

Yes. I was the girl who'd been repeatedly abused, but I was moving forward with life. That wasn't me anymore.

"Lilly? Didn't you hear me? I said I'm sorry." Todd repeated.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Eli yelled at Todd. "You just couldn't let it go, could you? You say you still love her, but you fucking drugged her and abandoned her. I was a stranger, fuckface. I could've raped her that night. Then you made Lilly believe it was all her fault. You make me fucking sick."

Nico and Jasmine were listening, but they kept quiet. Nico caught my gaze and quirked his head to the side as he pressed his lips together. Was that a gesture of pity or support? I couldn't tell.

Todd hopped to his feet as his face filled with rage. "Lilly always wanted me. We were together for a long time. She loved me, and I was good to her. I deserved some kick back."

Is that what Todd really thought?

This whole virus was straight up cray cray. Dead people decorated the surrounding field while Todd was ranting about our history and how I never had sex with him. This was the shittiest end of the world ever.

Eli released me, and he seemed to grow in stature as he squared his shoulders toward Todd.

Wrapping my arms around my waist, I tried very hard to stand still. Everything inside was screaming for me to run.

"She was my girlfriend, and you stole her from me. You still haven't gotten any from Lilly yet, have you? Well, good luck with that, asshole. You ain't getting a damn drop. That girl is dry as the fucking desert, but I'm willing to wait. I still love her." Todd's voice was confident and sure. His truth was so messed up and convoluted.

I couldn't believe Todd and I had been together for so long. I must've been utterly ignorant to the truth or desperate as hell. Because ew.

"Don't you ever talk about her like that! She's not a fucking toy, fuckface. She's been through a lot, and she's stronger for it. How fucking dare you!" Eli's jaw clenched, making him scary. In two swift steps, he cocked back his fist and punched Todd in the face.

Todd fell stiff as a board, hitting the ground like a brick. He didn't move to get up.

Nico let out a howl and bent over as he shook with laughter. "Holy shit. He's out cold."

Eli blew out a hard breath and spun back to me. "You want to take a walk?"

Without looking at anyone, I nodded.

Eli wrapped a hand around my shoulder, pulling me in for a hug.

My arms didn't unlatch from my waist. I wanted to fold into myself more. Everyone knew what kind of trash I really was.

"Keep an eye on him. That asshole is going to change. We'll be back soon." Eli's breath skimmed over my scalp before he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Let's go."

I turned out of Eli's embrace. I didn't know what to say or do. I knew he cared about me, but I didn't expect him to want me after all that. Eli knew the truth now. I was used goods.

Eli gave me space as we walked. It was probably for the best. Having to break it off now would be impossible for him, especially after all the incredible things he said to me. Eli would never break it off with me, but I couldn't let his obligation force him into keeping me.

No. It was up to me. I would have to put an end to us and let Eli go.

I cleared my throat. "After I help clean up, will you drop me off at that little convenient store up the road?"

"What?" Eli tried to grab my elbow, but I moved to the side, successfully dodging him.

"I changed my mind. I don't want to stay here. It would be better if I go." Refusing to make eye contact, I looked in the opposite direction, blinking back tears.

"Where do you want to go? We can go together." Eli tried to touch my shoulder this time, but I side-stepped causing him to miss me.

If Eli touched me, then he would somehow talk me into staying, and I couldn't stay. I had to be the one to end this.

"I don't want you to go with me. I want to leave. Alone. Can you take me or not? I'll walk if you don't want to take me." My shoulders grew heavy as I thought about being alone again.

"Todd's wrong, Lilly," Eli said.

"Okay." I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to cry. I wanted to get as far away from this place as I could. It wasn't fair to force Eli and his gramma to take me on after all that. There was no way I would be their charity case.

"Lilly?" Eli stopped walking. I could almost hear when he ran a hand through his hair.

I didn't want to stop walking, but I did. I continued to stare at the ground, but I didn't answer Eli. I had nothing to say.

"If you want me to take you, then I will. Let's head back and clean up. Afterward, we'll get your stuff, and I'll drop you off." Eli said precisely what I wanted to hear, but it hurt more than I thought it would.

"Okay." I was a mess, and I couldn't figure out what I wanted. Half of me wanted to run out of here like a banshee out of hell, and the other half wanted to run to Eli.

No. I couldn't run to Eli. He deserved better than me. I was garbage, and somehow I'd tricked myself into thinking I could have a life with him. I was so wrong.

I turned back toward the bonfire, keeping a brisk pace.

All I had to do was help burn bodies and clean up the mess. I could do that right? I just needed to keep my head down and get the work done. No problem.

Just before the field came into view, a gunshot went off. I came to a dead stop. Todd.

Todd was dead.

Why did I even care? Everyone was dead. Jessica was dead. Everyone I ever cared about was dead. Except for Eli.

Eli would live a long life after I left. I would be doing him a favor.

"You know what?" Eli barked. "I thought you were strong. I thought you could take anything on, but I was wrong. You're just a scared little girl that always runs from her problems."

My blood began to boil. What the hell did he just say to me?

"Yeah, you heard me. You're just scared to make any real connections. You think you had a bad life?" Eli let out a harsh laugh. "My dad murdered my mother right in front of me. He's in prison. How's that for a bad life? But I guess you're the only one with a shitty life, right? I forgot you never think about anyone, but yourself."

I spun, facing him. My nostrils flared as my gaze slammed into his. "That really sucks for you. I'm sorry to hear that. You wanna hear a fucked up story. Well, here it is. I killed my mom by accident when I was thirteen. Get this. I thought she was another guy coming into my room in the middle of the night, expecting me to pay off my dad's debt, which had nothing to do with money. How's that for fucked up?

"When my dad covered for me after I killed my mom, he made sure I was indebted to him for life. My father blackmailed me and forced me to do whatever he wanted for years. Lucky for me, last year after Todd dumped me, my dad stopped coming home. I had to work my ass off to keep our shithole apartment, but I got a job and a college scholarship. All my life, the only thing I've ever wanted was to run away to anything better, but I have no one. I'm fucking alone."

Eli's brown eyes flared with intensity. "I already knew all that. Tell me something I don't know."

My eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What? How in the hell did you know all that? What exactly did I tell you that night? I'm getting pretty fucking fed up with your instant knowledge of my life."

"Because I'm psychic like my gramma, Lilly. I can see a little with some people, and more with others, but I've never had a connection with anyone like I have with you. I know you, Lilly. Well, except for when you shut me out. For some reason, when people become willfully closed off to me, it builds a wall that keeps me from seeing more, which is a good thing in most cases."

I stared at him, waiting for the punchline that never came. "So, I'm supposed to believe that you know everything about me. Just like that?"

Eli threw his hands up in aggravation. "I thought you said you weren't judgmental?"

"I'm not, but there's a big difference between judgmental and confused. I'm confused. How does this information transfer take place in your head?"

"When I look into your eyes," Eli said without a hint of hesitation.

"What do you see? I mean, is it like a movie or like a book?" I asked.

The corner of Eli's mouth tipped up. "I guess, it's more like a movie, but there are thoughts and emotions too. It's hard to explain."

I took a step toward him. "Is that what happened when you had that stare-off with Adam after he was bitten?"

Eli's eyes widened as he studied me. "You noticed that?"

"How could I not? I always watch you." My hands unclenched from my waist, falling to my sides.

"You do?" Eli raised his eyebrows as he gave me a sly smile.

"Uh... yeah. It's kind of hard not to. Look at you. You're gorgeous and perfect. All the girls stare at you." I bit back a grin.

Eli took a small step toward me. "I don't care about other girls. I only care about you. When did you stare at me at school?"

"When you weren't staring at me." My hands covered my smile as I recalled all the times I watched Eli from afar.

Eli closed the distance between us but he didn't touch me. His eyes searched mine. "You can stare at me now."

I let out an embarrassed laugh through my fingers as I shook my head.

"Why not?" Eli's lips widened into a smile. "I always stare at you so we can stare at the same time."

"That's weird." I laughed, pushing him back.

Eli laughed, and caught my hand, yanking me into him.

My smile grew as I took him all in, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Eli's gaze swept over my face, landing on myeyes. "There's my girl."

😉

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