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"..what am i doing" i hear him say and open my eyes

his arms back to his sides, hes looking down at me with what looks like pity, sorrow, maybe even slight distrust

i think this white boy needs a therapist

i say silent, looking up at him

what am i supposed to say?

he drops the knife into the dirt, near my face

that was a hoe move but okay

"i really, really wanted to keep you alive. i do love you, but i cant take the chance of letting you live. im sorry-"

i push him off and take the knife from the floor

"billy in all disrespect, shut the fuck up." i hold the knife up

"do you know how many peoples lives you destroyed without a single thought? how many nights my mom was scared for her child because there was a MURDERER on the loose?" i point the knife to him

"you, with zero mercy, take lives and then expect everything to be okay for you." okay maybe this is a bit out of character for me

but i cant risk my life for him

not right now

i see tears slowly climb there ways to his brown eyes

those eyes that i grew to love

those eyes that were with me even when he tried to kill me

i slowly see the realization come to his face, like he didnt even know what he was doing

the knife trembles in my hand, i know i cant stab him, maybe that one bitch that looks at me weird in the walmart, but not him

i toss the knife and turn my back to him

i just wanna go home

as i start walking, im stopped by a pair of arms and a nice head of brown hair i see at my side

"i cant kill you, i wont kill you, please dont leave. please dont leave me i really do need you." he hugs me

this man makes me soft

this mf killer still makes my heart race

i sigh and slightly smile

"well.. if you arnt gonna gut me like a fish.." i scratch my neck

"i guess i dont see a reason to leave-" he physically turns me around to face him

his eyes have a small light in them

i have him back

"just- dont kill near MY house, or i swear to fuck im chopping off your balls with your own knife" he smiles again

he relaxes a bit and brings me close to him, hugging me

"if you needed a hug you cou-" bitch interrupted me

"shut up" he puts his head on my shoulder