Again- Noah Cyrus, xxxtentacion

"Always" I said as I grabbed his hand. He tensed under my touch, something just didn't feel right but I ignored it because I was afraid to know what was wrong. I was scared to ask why he was so distant because I was afraid of the answer, so I decided to be oblivious to it. To completely ignore the sick feeling I had in my stomach when I looked into his eyes.

"You should rest" he said trying to excuse himself out. I looked at him confused, he always used to stay with me. To protect me and watch over me.

"Why?" I asked

"Where are you going?" I continued the interrogation. He looked at me with deep eyes, solemn.

I felt my fingers tighten around his hand, afraid to let go. I didn't want to feel the emptiness I felt when he was gone. I felt cold and vulnerable. I stood still, awaiting his response, curious as to what excuse he was going to spit out.

"You need rest" he said getting up, towering over me, his shadow looming against the lightly dimmed wall. I stood in front of him, blocking his way.

"Why" I asked feeling the hurt sting my bones. He didn't look at me this time.

"Rest" he said as I felt his hand stroke my cheek a little too roughly, it didn't feel genuine. I slowly moved out of the way, not fighting back anymore. I looked down at the floor, not wanting to see him leave. The sweet scent that once danced around the room, around us, was gone. He was gone.

I slowly made my way to the bed, preparing to sleep, just as he had told me to do. I laid there, back against the mattress, staring up wide eyed. I couldn't sleep, I mean, how did you expect me to? After penny's weird and distant behavior?

Would you be able to sleep?

I laid my hands neatly on top of my chest, feeling my heart beat against my warm palms. The only sound in the room was my light breathing, and the occasional wind outside. Penny just felt so distant, it was a weird feeling I couldn't put my finger on.

I shifted onto my side, huffing in frustration. I looked towards the doorway, waiting for Penny to reappear any minute but those minutes turned into hours and I had still yet to sleep. I questioned my sanity at one point. Maybe I was too attached and he felt weird? Maybe he didn't trust me anymore? Not that I blamed him anyways.

I pulled the duvet over my cold body, but I needed more to feel warm. I needed Penny.

As if on cue, I heard the familiar shuffling of clothes and bells make their way into the room. I slowly opened my eyes and almost screamed when I realized Penny was right in my face.

"You didn't rest" he scolded as I heard multiple growls erupt in his chest. I closed my eyes shut even though I knew he had already seen me awake. I felt his body shift above my face, and I slowly opened one of my eyes. He was staring right down at me, amber eyes burning through my soul.

"I'm not tired" I said trying to ease him. He didn't say anything, he just stood above me. I sat up slowly on my elbows, looking at him.

"You're different" I said abruptly, regretting the words that slipped out of my mouth.

"You're being.. you're being I don't know, distant" I said continuing to let the words fall from my lips, not knowing when to stop. He crouched down to my level, looking at me intensely.

"You don't know what I'm being" he snapped, his words stinging against my skin. I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see the pain that flashed behind my brown eyes.

"Okay" I said softly, getting up from the bed. I began to walk out of the room, trying to leave the tense air. I heard Penny growl deeply behind me.

"You don't walk away from me" he snarled. I stopped angrily in my tracks. I turned around, my eyes narrow.

"You don't tell me what to do" I snapped back, before turning around and making my way to the kitchen, not caring where I ended up as long as it was far from him.

I heard him follow me immediately, his feet loud against the weak wooden floor. I felt his large hand grab at my shoulder, spinning me around forcefully.

"Bad pet" he snarled as drool formed in the corners of his lips. I squirmed away from him, anger rising within me.

"I'm done with this" I said moving my finger between our chests.

"Done" I snapped as I tried walking past him. I felt him grab my arm roughly, shoving me against him, his face inches away from mine. I could feel the vibrations of his growls rising within him.

"You'll never be done" he mocked as his razor sharp teeth danced above my face.

"Let me go" I said sternly, trying to squeeze out of his grip, but he made sure to hold me tighter this time around.

"Penny LET GO" I said louder. His face turned in a scowl, and his hand gripped my arm tighter.

"I fucking hate you" I said as I felt anger pulse in my veins. His eyes grew brighter, fury burning in them, at the touch of my words.

I felt him began to walk backwards, taking me with him. I felt my back slam against the edge of the glass dinner table. I winced as my spine made uncomfortable contact with the hard edge. I gritted my teeth together in anger and pain. I felt sweat began to form by my forehead, the heat between us indescribable.

"You're playing a game" he said as he lunged at my face, his sharp teeth seconds away from tearing at my skin.

"And you're going to lose" he added as I felt his warm breathe fan my face, I closed my eyes in fear. My free arm began to roam against the table, trying to find something to defend myself with.

When my hand brushed against a hard object, I instinctively picked it up, flinging it towards Penny's head. When the item broke into a thousand pieces, it was then I realized it was a ceramic vase. The flowers that once stood beautifully in the hard container, flew around the room, petals falling everywhere.

Penny stumbled back, taken by surprise. The soft petals fell around him as he held his head in anger. It almost looked beautiful but given our situation, it was far from it. He looked up at me, his eyes burning through me.

"You were hurting me!" I yelled, trying to justify my actions. Penny lunged at me with great force, slamming me against the glass table. I felt it break under me as I fell onto the million shards of glass. I arched my back and groaned in pain as I made contact with the glass covered floor. Penny didn't seem to care one bit and instead picked me up by my collar, holding me up in the air.

I felt my back sting and could only think about those wounds reopening from the Neibolt house. My flesh wounds, and my emotional wounds.

"Stop" I said as I squirmed against his hold, just like those boys had done in the woods. Penny's teeth had become larger, drool seeping from every crack and crevice in his mouth and lips. His claws began to thrash against the white cloth that held his hands. Before he could hurt me more, I flung my foot upwards, kicking him in the chest. The contact was hard enough for him to send me flying. I fell onto my stomach, struggling for air as I began to crawl towards the safety of my room. I felt Penny's large clawed hand grab my leg, dragging me backwards. I wailed in pain as he flipped me over on my back, in order to face him.

"You've crossed the line little one" he mocked as his sharp hands grabbed at my face. I thrashed my head trying to get him to let go.

"You hurt me!" I screamed

"You always hurt me!" I cried as I felt his weight on top of me.

"I just want you to love me like I love you" I sobbed as his hold became more dominant and harsh.

"NO" he growled as he pulled me up once again. His legs were crouched on either side of my body. I sat my weight on my elbows, shards of glass cutting through them.

"Please" I sobbed wanting him to just hold me like he used to.

He wasn't the same and he wasn't telling me why. I wanted to help him, to comfort him but he wasn't letting me. Every time I tried getting closed he would push me away, hurt me. It's as if hurting me let him keep his demonic mentality. It allowed him to continue being a monster, because the moment he completely demoted himself to me, he would give that up and that was his nature. So what was the best he could do? Make me demote myself to him, let go of my human qualities. It was a selfish thing, but he didn't care. He didn't want to become weak, vulnerable, but I knew he was far too attached to let this go.. he had to be. He was jealous, possessive even over protective at times, but he didn't want me to know or feel that. He wanted me to fear him, just as everyone else did. But I couldn't. I felt fear for him, but it wasn't the same fear the others felt. No, no mine was different, it was in the air, in the taste. It was intoxicating, and that scared him because how dare a mortal have such great power over the eater of worlds, this old and powerful entity whose sole purpose was to feed and kill.

All of this was against his nature, and if more of him existed, he would be shunned, belittled. He couldn't have that, he was too powerful, too unstoppable. Curse him, curse that day he entered that dimly lit room where a naive and heartbroken girl cried for another. Curse the way the candles lit his face against the darkness in my room and in my heart. Curse the way the sharp cold outside made us feel safe and warm on the inside. It was a curse.

"You're nothing" he said as he held tightly onto my neck. I felt myself losing oxygen, clouds forming in the corner of my vision. I felt my body continue to fight for survival, but my mind and heart had already given up, they didn't correlate. I felt him let go of my throat, and all the air I was fighting for collapsed into my lungs all at once.

"Done" he said repeating my words as he got up. I felt my eyes sting with tears at his words. I didn't mean it when I was upset, but something told me he did.

"You're screaming in my head" he growled holding his head.

"You're too much" he said with a deep voice.

"Not enough, it's not enough" he continued as he walked backwards, preparing to leave. I got up, looking at him with angry and hurt eyes. I didn't have to see them to know they were drowning in emotion.

I didn't let the tears fall and instead got up, facing him. He looked at me blankly, not wanting to say anything else, because we both knew what he had said was enough.

"You just made the worst mistake" I whispered, barely audible enough for him to hear.

"And soon, you'll wake up regretting it" I said through gritted teeth. The pain audible in my voice.

Penny looked at me one last time, and something told me it was probably the last time I would ever see his face.

"You'll regret it" I said softly, and just like that, he was gone.