《Storm Drains (pennywise love fan-fic) *completed*》Chapter 53
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Days had passed.
They passed like flying color, so fast. These last couple of days I realized something. Something that a lot of people don't understand until it's too late.
Time.
We take it for granted. We become comfortable with the minutes and how long they feel at work or school. We wish for more of it even though deep down inside we know we'll get more tomorrow. We wish for time to go faster or wish for it to go slower but we feel like we'll always have it.
But we don't.
Time is a privilege, a gift the universe has given us in order to be around loved ones or things we love. A punishment when you're in a situation you wish to be out of and the seconds feel like hours. It's something that affects us all yet we treat it like a distant relative. Time is someone we think about anytime it's beneficial. We don't call time and see how it's doing, how life has been for him. We don't greet him or wish him holiday greetings. We don't check up on him to make sure everything is okay and everything is going as planned, and yet we become enraged, hurt when time comes to collect itself from us.
Where did the time go?
Time went by so fast
Wish time had gone slower.
These are the things we say when time comes to pick it's pieces up from our hands that have held onto it so tightly, we damaged it. Only then do we realize the presence and existence of time. Only then do we ask him the questions we should have asked a long time ago. A distant relative.
We take time for granted, never fully realizing how precious it was. How hurtful it was. How saving it was. We just take take and take but never give. And yet we have the audacity to become upset when time comes to an end because somehow we expected his beauty to last forever.
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But nothing lasts forever.
Don't take time for granted.
I had time with Penny. Not the best, not the longest, but I had time.
And now he was leaving, sleeping for 27 years and I'd have to continue living those 27 lonely years like nothing ever happened. I wouldn't sleep like him, I don't know if I would be able to even close my eyes. I'd be too scared because I know I would only see him every time I did. I didn't want to remember but I did. It was a heart and mind conflict.
They say every 7 years all your cells die and your body becomes new again. I thought about that lately. How Penny would awaken to a body he had never touched before. It's almost like I would be brand new. It saddened me a bit, to know I would go through 3 bodies without the silhouette of his hands on them. If what Penny said is true, how many other hands would have laid onto my skin? How many other people would have the privilege to touch me, something that was not a privilege but a right to Penny.
Time felt against me. Almost punishing me for using him and never appreciating.
Maybe I should have called Time, and checked up on him.
"You're deep in thought" Penny's voice broke through my thoughts. He was currently laying next to me, as we appreciated each other's presence something we did more efficiently lately.
"I have been" I said back. I didn't want to explain to him everything that was running through my head. It was all too much.
Sometimes it was better to answer with silence.
"I can't hunt" Penny said, his voice growing weaker by the second. His words infuriated me, reminding me. The last couple of days were the worst. Penny couldn't seem to even walk at this point, he was extremely fragile and weak.
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I knew he was starving. He had to have been. It had been days since his last meal and he needed to hunt before his long rest but the fact that he couldn't angered me. Why? Why was time to cruel? Why couldn't he give me a second to spare? I'm sorry I hadn't called, it was an honest mistake, but I don't deserve this level of punishment. The feeling of my lover dying in my arms.
I shot up, my blood boiling and hands shaking. I looked at Penny, his large body the complete opposite of his weakness.
"You can" I said with a stern voice.
"You can hunt and you will" I said. At this point I was trying to convince the both of us. Trying to convince myself that he could hunt and he was just as strong as the first time I had seen him. I bit my lip harshly in order to keep myself from crying.
"You've done this before, how have you hunted before sleep?" I said, confused on why he was so weak now. All his other sleep cycles seemed to have been successful.
"Not enough time" he said through saddened eyes.
"I spent the last of my time to be with you" he said trying not to sound weak.
The air grew silent. We stared at each other with sad eyes, my heart racing against my chest at his words.
"Why did you do that?" I said, my voice threatening to crack. I tried to be strong, because one of us had to be.
"I'm afraid" Penny said.
I'm afraid.
I felt myself fall onto my knees, tears running down my face. My hands slammed against the floor as my head hung low. I felt my face soaked from all the crying. I couldn't face him. Not like this.
I had to be the strong one.
But the mere fact that he was afraid hurt me to extremes I didn't know I could be pained. Penny was the last thing that should be afraid and yet here he was, scared that he didn't have enough time to be with me. Enough time for us.
Time.
You are so cruel.
I slowly stood up, wiping my face. I wasn't going to let him suffer. I was going to be strong for once. I was going to do the impossible for him. I wasn't going to lay next to him and cry because time was coming for a visit. I was going to do the most I could, I was going to be the person I needed to be.
I was going to be strong.
I grabbed my jacket not saying another word. I could feel Penny's eyes on me as I turned around and started heading for the tunnel. The silence in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"Where are you going?" Penny asked. Panic was prominent in his voice. Scared.
But that wasn't going to stop me. I was done being the damsel in distress. I was done crying. Crying for now.
"Lola" I heard Penny call out as his voice grew distant.
I had one thing and only one thing on my mind.
He deserves this, he deserves this.
That's all I thought about as my feet splashed against the murky waters and the darkness of the tunnels swallowed me whole.
Im doing this for him. All for him.
If he couldn't do it himself then I would.
I was going to hunt...
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