The morning passed in a blur as I was rushed through a tour of the settlement. Aside from the lord’s dwelling, it consisted of three longhouses surrounded by various barns, stables and pens, a forge, and a Hall. One of the houses belonged to Mildred’s husband, who divided his time between farming his godi’s (chieftain) lands and serving him at sea. Another one was the residence of Lady Disaelfr, Lord Einarr’s mother.

“She had it built after her son’s wedding, as she couldn’t handle the behavior of his wife,” Svana whispered, her eyes darting around in fear of being overheard.

I was shocked. I had heard that pagans could have several wives, but I thought that this repulsive custom had been abandoned. If he expected me to accept it, he was sorely mistaken. Noticing my frown, Svana went on:

“He is widowed; the demoness fell from a cliff a year ago. And a good riddance it was for us all!”

“Svana! Mind your tongue!”

“It is true Mildred! That woman made our lives hell! She was a spoiled whore with no honor. She wouldn’t bed her husband, when she opened her legs for any man who asked. The child she carried was a bastard and our Lord knew it…”

Mildred put a hand on the girl’s mouth.

“Be careful! Some things are better forgotten.”

Wiggling free, Svana stuck her tongue out at her friend, but heeded her advice.

I mulled over her words. They cast a new light on the jarl’s behavior. His anger when he saw me with Aidan, his will to tame me, his desperate need for an heir suddenly made sense. But why did he tolerate his wife’s wickedness? Did he love her that much? I had a hard time picturing him as a weak and pliable husband.

I resolved to question Svana at the first occasion, certain that the chatty girl couldn’t resist spreading gossip. In order to escape, I needed to learn everything I could on my jailors.

We climbed the steep slope to the high edge of the fjord, stopping on top of the cliffs. The soft breeze that blew lower became a chilly wind in our exposed location. I crossed my arms on my chest, rubbing them vigorously. It didn’t help much against the cold, but I forgot all about it when I took in the view.

From this height, the low waves were merely a ripple on the deep blue water. On the opposite side were green hills, a few houses scattered on them. Svana pointed at one.

“This is my father’s farm. I’ll return there in the spring, when I’ll be ready for marriage.”

I smiled at her. She was a sweet girl, and I wished her the best. “I’m sure you’ll find a kind man who won’t beat you often.”

She stared at me in shock. “Is that one of your customs? I am a free woman, no one can hit me without facing the wrath of my father and brothers. If my husband were to lift his hand on me, I’d divorce him!”

I stood there, embarrassed and dumfounded. Although I had never seen my father brutalize a woman, I had witnessed many times the stiff movements and bruised faces of visiting ladies and female servants alike. My mother was never struck or flailed; she was born in a powerful family in Eiriu and would not have accepted such treatment, as it was forbidden under their law. But it was the church’s teachings, and she was fortunate enough that her husband was enthralled by her charms.

Still, it was reassuring. If I married my captor, he wouldn’t hurt me.

Mildred pulled on my arm, showing me the settlement, sheltered between the cliffs and a small hill. “Behind this hill is a small cove, where the ships will be stored for the winter. We’ll go there when they’ll roll them into the boathouse, it’s worth watching. The mouth of the river is half a day down from there. There’s a trading post installed upstream, beside the marshlands. The other boat went there to sell the goods, they will be back on the morrow. My husband commands it,” she added proudly.

A sense of foreboding washed over me as I remembered what the ‘goods’ were. They had sold my kinswomen. I silently prayed for them to fall into gentle hands. Their fate was harsh enough as it was.

Unaware of my feelings, Mildred beamed at me. “He will arrive in time for the feast. I can’t wait!”

I stared at her blankly. Did she expect me to congratulate her on the return of her husband, after what he just did? I must have paled, for I remember suddenly feeling the cold. It sunk into my bones, and my teeth chattered.

Mildred frowned and grabbed my sleeve, rubbing the fabric between her fingers. “I didn’t realize this dress was so thin. We should have given you a cloak. Einarr Godi won’t be pleased if you catch ill.”

The mention of his name did it. I snapped at her with all my pent up sorrow. I needed to let it out somehow, and she was there.

“Well, you out of all people should remember the quality of a slave’s clothing, Mildred. How soon you seem to have forgotten it, together with your loyalty to your kin! And how eager you are to serve your master! I can’t believe you were ever Saxon…”

Mildred’s face turned into a hard mask and she slapped me twice, hard. Svana jumped between us and she pushed her away. “Let me deal with this, Svana. I’ve been in her place once, I know what she feels. She must learn fast, or she will pay for it.”

She came closer to me. I held my palms on my burning cheeks, still trying to process what had just happened. I was outraged. How dared she? No one had ever raised a hand on me.

“What was your rank before Einarr Godi took you?”

I lifted my chin proudly: “I am a lady, daughter of a thane.”

“I see. You still think you are above us. Listen to me SLAVE,” she emphasized the word, nearly spitting it, “I was a ceorl’s daughter. He was just a farmer, but I was captured in a raid, not traded by my family.”

I stared at her wide eyed. How did she know?

She shrugged, answering my silent question. “ I heard the men talk while looking for your clothes. Now I’m a free woman again. I’m above you, and you would do well to show respect for your betters. Had I been a man, you could have been killed. I should have you whipped, but I have been there.”

She pulled on the neckline of her dress, revealing the white lines on the top of her back. “I affronted Lady Disaelfr once. That’s what it got me.”

I lowered my gaze, defeated. Unruly slaves were beaten, it was the use and no one objected to it. I had seen it done in my house and thought it right. Until I found myself on the wrong side of the stick. Mildred had been kind to me and I had insulted her. What was wrong with me?

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, I blurted.

Mildred sighed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Only then did I notice that I was crying.

After that little scene I remained mute. I followed them back to the longhouse where I was given a distaff and spindle whorl with a bundle of fleece. I stood in the women’s room until my legs gave under me, spinning the rough fibers into a smooth thread. Lady Disaelfr caught me swaying and ordered me to sit. Squinting, she inspected my work and smiled approvingly.

“You have good skills, Sunngifu. Rest a moment, have some bread and water. I want to try you on the loom next.”

I bowed respectfully, remembering Mildred’s warning. I spent the rest of the day weaving fine linen for a shirt that would be worn by my owner. His mother seemed to think I would be eager to work for his benefit. She couldn’t be more wrong, but I smiled politely and focused on my hands. I was praised many times on my talent with the loom and wanted to stay on her good side. Over and over I moved the heddle rod, passed the shuttle and pushed the thread tight with the beater. The fabric had no pattern and it was repetitive. The width was only two ells, but the loom was high and I had to stand.

I was exhausted when Svana came to me, giggling.

“It’s nearly dusk. Time for a good bath.”

We collected soap, towels, oils and clean clothes and headed out. The air outside was getting close and I balked when I realized where we were going. A small stream ran a short distance behind the house, filling a natural pool. Four women soaked in it, including Mildred. How did they do it? I shook my head; the water must be so cold. I didn’t want to freeze to death.

Disregarding my reluctance, Svana dragged me ahead. Once at the edge I pulled back.

“I’d rather use a cloth and wash inside, it’s too chilly here.”

With a wicked smile, Svana took my cloak and pushed me hard. I fell in with a splash and came up coughing and sputtering, my drenched hair plastered to my face. The water was only waist deep, allowing me to stand easily in my soaked dress and shift. Around me the others were laughing.

Svana was bent over, holding her ribs in her mirth.

“How cold are you now Sunngifu?” she stammered in between breaths.

“I… I…” I wasn’t cold at all? The pool was pleasantly warm. How was that possible?

“The spring is high in the mountains, where they spit fire,” Mildred explained, drifting closer to me. “Let me help you undress.”

We struggled to remove my garb, the weight of it making it difficult. Svana join us swiftly and hauled the material on the grass. We sat in the low end, where the stones smoothed into a natural bench. I noticed that the other servants talked in low voice, stealing glances at us. One seemed angry. She was pretty, far more than me: white skin, clear blue eyes and long raven black hair. She glared at me, her delicate eyebrows twisted in an ugly frown.

“Oh oh, someone isn’t happy to be thrown out of Einarr Godi’s bed,” Svana chuckled, “I don’t know why, she always seemed sore afterwards, and he never kept her for the night or paid special attention to her…”

I rolled my eyes. If only she knew how gladly I would give her back her place! I didn’t need another enemy.

“Who is she?” I whispered to Mildred.

“She was his wife’s bondservant, he inherited her. She used to take on her mistress’ role when it came to her marital duties.”

“And why would she be envious if he hurt her? He never hurt me,” I blurted without thinking.

“Did he not?” Mildred asked, her eyebrows shooting up. “He is reputed for seeking his pleasure with little care for the woman he uses. His wife made him despise women. Why would he be gentle with you?”

“He is not gentle, he raped me.”

“Without causing you pain…” She smiled mischievously. “Did you enjoy it?”

I scoffed, trying to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t like the path her mind was taking.

“I didn’t want it, he forced me.”

My body might have betrayed me, but I still didn’t consent. I just had no other choice.

Mildred nodded.

“I know you were not willing, yet he wasn’t brutal. He had all rights to be, you belong to him. He showed you kindness, you should ponder on it. Do not disappoint him.”