I remained like this until the light started to fade. Soon I would be in complete darkness. It prompted me to move. I got up and used the bucket, washed my hands and drank from the jug. I had not eaten since my morning gruel and my stomach protested. I ignored it.

I spread a blanket over the pallet to dampen the stench. The straw inside must have been rotten. I thought I would be unable to rest, but I was young, and sleep claimed me as soon as I lay down.

I woke up drenched in sweat after a terrible nightmare. Hrefna was whipping me with a metal hooked knutr, while the trader slapped me. Lord Einarr watched them with a smile. She hit me hard and my side went ablaze with pain.

I sat up in the dark, unable to find my bearings. The pain didn’t stop, it came and went with my breathing. Tentatively, I touched my swollen cheek and pressed on my chest, finding a sore spot. I must have a damaged rib. Was I still dreaming? My hand felt around me, looking for the warm body that should be there, finding nothing. Was he already up?

The bed felt wrong. I rubbed my eyes, struggling to figure out where I was, and regretted trying when I did. Tears flooded my eyes as I relived the previous day. How could I have been so stupid? I had lost the little comfort I had. Why couldn’t I wait until my father bought me back? A year wasn’t so long. At least it wouldn’t have been in my previous position. Now it would feel like an eternity.

A sudden thought froze my blood in my veins. Would my father really buy me back? I was defiled and had lost my freedom, I could never be a part of my family again. Even if he still wanted me, could he afford to pay the Viking’s price for me as well as the tribute? I held my head in my hands, all hope lost. I wouldn’t get another chance to escape, I would never leave this island, unless my captor sold me to a foreigner. But then, would my fate be any better?

The more I considered it, the deeper I sunk into despair.

I slumped on the pallet, unable to sleep again, waiting for the sun to rise. That’s how Svana found me, hugging myself and shivering from the cold.

“How are you faring Sunngifu?” she whispered, pointing at the door. She must have been instructed not to talk to me, and didn’t want the guard to hear.

She put down the jug and bread she was carrying and wrapped the blankets around me. I stared at her gratefully, muttering a thank you.

“What went through your mind to do this? Einarr Godi was so taken with you! You should have seen how pale he went when Hrefna told him you were gone. A luck he brought you back, this trader would have thrown you overboard to avoid a feud with him. Did you seriously believe he would risk Einarr Godi’s anger to help you? I don’t understand you Sunngifu, I just hope he won’t punish you too severely when he’ll come back.”

I nodded. She was right, as often. I should have listened to her. Now it was too late.

“I must go, or the guard will come looking for me. Eat the bread while it’s warm.”

She got up and left with a last encouraging smile.

I picked up the bread, freshly out of the kiln, and took a tentative bite. Oats and barley, and something else. Meat. The little minx had managed to smuggle a sizeable piece of pork from the kitchen.

I washed it down with a mouthful of water from the new jug and grinned. It was laced with honey. Svana was a true friend. I hoped she wouldn’t get caught. I didn’t want her to be punished by my fault.

I was left alone the whole day, except for a slave who came to empty the bucket. He ignored me completely, and I returned the favor. I tried to keep busy. I combed my hair with my fingers, washed a little, shook the blankets, exercised my legs by walking along the walls, counted the stones sticking out… But after a while, I couldn’t come up with anything more and was left with my dark thoughts.

At sunset I ate the last of the bread and prepared to sleep. It would be a long four days before Lord Einarr’s return.

The second was quite similar to the first. Svana visited again and gave me a piece of dry fish. It was quite chewy but beggars can’t be picky. I ate it all, hiding the incriminating bones between the stones of the wall.

The third day Svana didn’t come. I waited anxiously, hoping she didn’t get in trouble. My stomach grumbled and I ignored it. It was nearly noon when the door opened and Hrefna entered. I stepped back at her sight. Why was she there?

My face must have reflected my thoughts for she hissed:

“I pointed out to Lady Disaelfr that it wasn’t fair to let a free woman serve you, the lowliest of slaves, so I offered to do it instead. Aren’t you happy to see me?”

She gave me a nasty grin and I paled. Hadn’t she done enough harm already? I had never wronged her.

“I would be happy to see the devil at this stage. Why do you hate me Hrefna? If I have done something to deserve it I’m sorry, I am not your enemy.”

“You thought you were better than me, that he would prefer you. Look where you are now!”

She snarled and turned back, taking Svana’s jug with her. Fortunately it was empty.

I took the bread she brought. It was hard as a rock. I would need to soak it or my teeth would break on it. I reached for the jug and nearly retched at the stench. Urine! She had brought me urine instead of water.

I threw the bread away and licked my dry lips. I hadn’t drunk since sundown and was already feeling the thirst. But I’d rather die than drink this. I called the guard and asked him for water, showing him the jug. He just shrugged and closed the door.

Disheartened, I lay down and tried to sleep. Two days left. I could do this.

When I woke up in the evening, my lips were cracked and my mouth dry. I smelled the foul liquid in hope that it had been changed. No such luck. I returned to my slumber and waited for the morning.

I didn’t notice when she came. I must have been deep into my dreams. Another meal of hard bread and urine sat beside my head when I came by. I ignored it and closed my eyes again. I felt sick. My innards were trying to eat themselves. My tongue seemed thick and swollen. My lips bled. When I went to use the bucket, my legs gave under me. I fell and the pain in my side got far worse.

I collapsed on the pallet, out of breath. It was difficult to find a comfortable position, but resting on my sore rib took the edge off it. Exhausted, I remained still, slipping in and out of consciousness. The day went by without my knowledge. At dusk I became terribly cold. I shook, my teeth chattering. I tightened the blankets around me, gathering all the warmth I could get. Eventually I fell into a deep stupor, and lost all awareness of my surroundings.

“What is this, father? It’s so white and pwetty!”

My tongue struggled with the last word, I was barely three.

“It is snow Sunngifu. You can play with it, go with your brothers.”

I ran outside, turning to watch the prints left by my boots. Something cold landed behind my neck, running under my cloak and into my dress. I shivered and wiggled to get rid of it. Another one hit my back and I twisted, glaring at my laughing brother.

“What are you doing?”

He showed me how to make a snowball and I threw one square in his face, to the utter amusement of the two others. Growling in mock anger he pushed me to the ground, and I rolled in the icy powder to escape him. I was frozen but it was so fun. I laughed and laughed, until I got a stitch in my side. Gosh it hurt…

“Sunngifu, wake up!”

I stared at my brother, wondering what was wrong with him. I wasn’t sleeping!

“Open your eyes Sunngifu!”

Sighing, I obeyed. Everything was blurry and there was little light. A dark shape was bent over me, shaking me. Who was it? His voice sounded oddly familiar…

“What did you do to her? I ordered you to lock her in, not to kill her! Can’t you see she is ill?”

I was lifted carefully and drawn against a warm chest. I winced in pain when he squeezed my rib and he lightened his grip. Smiling, I nestled against him and blacked out.