Today marks the 1 weekiversary of me not speaking to Justin. Yes, I broke my streak. Thank god it wasn't a snapchat one. That would be absofuckinglutly heartbreaking.

I haven't opened any of his messages. Not even 1 of the 347 of them. I've read some of them that have come up on my lock screen, they're just like sorry or where r u or let me love you or never say never or Ive taken this song naming this too far I apologise.

I haven't answered any of his 145 calls either. I've been tempted to get a new phone number because no ones been able to call me and I can't even scroll through Instagram for 5 minutes without being interrupted.

Can we just catch a fucking break though? like seriously its either him fucking up or me running away. Like yea man I fucked up the day before the AMAs bc I ran away but that day was tough okay. A lot of shit happened and I needed at LEAST a day to recover. I DIDNT EVEN GET 24 HOURS BEFORE HE STARTED TO IGNORE ME. Like yes, we aren't dating, he has the right to fuck whom ever he wants. BUT HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME 24 HOURS PRIOR.

A pro from all this is that I got a song out of it. I hate you, I love you it's called. I think the title says it all, don't you think? I released it the day after the AMAs and it's been number 1 on Spotify since then, so SUCK ON THAT JUSTIN.

On a lighter note: Tonight is New Years! GREAT. Another year I'll be spending kissing the floor or my dog.

oh sorry did I say lighter note? I meant Lightweight note. Time to get fucked.

And why you may ask? Actually getting drunk on New Years is rather standard, that was a stupid thing to say.

But in my defence, the main reason is because Justin's performing tonight in Miami.

And why would I be caring about that when I'm across the other side of the country? (actually have no idea how far away cali is from Miami, they are probably in the same place lololol sorry I'm bad at science) ((David dobrik tease again, ok enough of the promos))

Anyways, Im not in Cali. Nope, see Johnny, one of my friends in the industry, insisted I go to Miami for New Years. MIAMI. Apparently there was bunch of people going and I wasn't interested until Maia Mitchell said she'd be my Australian buddy.

It's our second day in Miami now and I am so happy to announce that I'm good friends with Brittany from MORTIFIED. Slash Mac from Teen Beach Movie. Slash idk I'm just OBSESSED WITH HER OK.

•

My phone buzzes beside me and I turned to read what it said on my lock screen. Once I read who it was from, my head dropped and I started fiddling with my fingers. I need one of those fiddle cubes (soz promo but MY MUM BOUGHT ME ONE AND IT'LL BE IN THE MAIL ANYDAY NOW!!)

"You gotta reply sometime soon, mate," Maia says and my head shoots up, not thinking she was paying attention to me. oh yeah btw sometimes we are overly bogan to each other bc Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi. Like she wasn't calling me mate for the fuck of it, ya know.

"Yeah nah, Im good ay," I say, avoiding eye contact. bc I'm not good. bc I'm shit. Bc I'm in fucking love with him and it sucks.

"yeah nah, you're not good ay. You'll feel soo much better if you talk to him, Gray"

"ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," is all I get out bc I know she's right and I'm stubborn af.

"Graaace," she says sternly.

"ughhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Graaacee"

"ok FINE!" she stands up in victory with a stupid smug smile on her face.

"Great! Now go get read, we're leaving soon'

"okay mum, GOD! Where are we going again?"

"uh uh uhhhhh I told you it was a surprise," I HATE surprises GOD DAMMIT!

"ugh fine," She nods in satisfaction before exiting the room and once the door is closed I let out a, "UGHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I heard that bitch," She yells from outside the door and I can't help but smile.

Alright, time to stop procrastinating, time to get ready.

but that talking to Justin thing can wait for later I reckon.

•

(why are all my outfit pics of girls with brown hair when I have SPECIFICALLY STATED Grace is a blonde. God dammit, Grace!)

Well my surprise was a giant bust. Im at the Miami NYE countdown show at FountainBleau and I should've fucking known we'd be here. BUT as you all know, if there was a Guinness world record for being the most oblivious and gullible bitch in the world, I would've held the title since birth.

Apparently Johnny bought $50 fucking grand tickets for this stupid side stage private area. we could've stayed home at watched New Years Eve and donated that money but whatever. Justin's currently singing Where are u now which pisses me off because he ALWAYS has a song that perfectly describes whats going on with us. like that stupid let me love you performance. Stupid relatable songs. Stupid Justin.

and I hate to admit it but he's doing so well. UGH. I just want to hug him and bitch about him to him. Is that too much to ask for????