"What do you want." I say to Justin who was standing in front of my door.

He gives me a look and I sigh and yawn.

"Hey." He says. Dude I'm tired as fuck, please just say what you need

"Sup." I say in a flat tone and he notices my attitude so he walks past me into my hotel room. I roll me eyes and close the door following him.

"Listen, I'm really tired an-"

"Where'd you go today?" He cuts me off

I chuckle, "I should be asking you the same thing."

"I've been here all day." He laughs back

"Well I went to the mall."

"Alone in a German shopping mall?"

"I was actually with a friend." I chuckle

"What friend, your German friend?"

"No actually, I saw my guy friend from school, William." I say confidently.

Let me get my shine because he cannot get mad at me - he was with that Sahara desert girl.

"Is that why you came so late?" he says irritated

"Why do yo even care Justin?" I say annoyed

"Because I'm your friend?"

I laugh, "yeah, friend." I sarcastically say

But he ignores my comments and asks more questions, "Why are you even asking that I care."

"Because do you even care about us?" I say raising my voice a little

"Okay why are you so angry?" He asks

I sigh and close my eyes so I can stop the tears to come up. I'm lowkey hurt and the bad thing about it being lowkey is that he doesn't even know that he's wrong, I really like him but he doesn't even try to make an effort....

"Sahara, really?" I get to the point

"I told yo-"

"Don't lie, I just wanna know who she is?"

"Why is she in the subject?" He asks

"Because you guys were 'keeping each other company' today, I just wanna know who she is to you."

"What?" He says confused

"Who, is, Sahara?"

He sighs and sits at couch I come closer to him sitting at the opposite couch from him.

"So?" I say waiting for an explanation

"She's a girl, that I went with to Hawaii."

Ew, those girls. I thought right about her.

"Remember the nude photo?"

I sigh and nod

"Was she the person you went nude with?" I ask cutting to the chase

He nods

I stay silent

"I wasn't thinking, you know? I never contacted her after that, she's bad news and somehow she found me." He sighs throwing his head back, "how did you know she was here?"

I sigh, "I knocked on your door, and she answered."

He looks at me and he carries on listening

"She was like, you guys were keeping each company and she thought I was like room service or a fan, I was so annoyed." I say pulling my hair back

"I'm sorry." He says to me,

"it's whatever ..Just please, find your way out."

"No, not until I get your forgiveness."

"Stop, I need some time alone Justin, you really hurt me."

"How?"

"I don't know? For not telling me about this girl even coming. Why would you let her answer the door anyways? Plus everyone was being so suspicious which was clearly obvious they were covering for you from me not finding out about her." I explain

"Holly we didn't do anything."

"After all of this, I really don't even know what to believe anymore Justin." I say

"Please holly, I don't want to fight."

I sigh, "were not fighting we're talking."

"Tell me, do you still want to be with me?"

"This isn't about us Justin." I say standing up walking away to my bedroom but he quickly follows and holds my wrist stopping me.

"Just answer the question." He says pulling me into him

"Yes, I've always wanted to." I confess

"Then why are you afraid?"

"Afraid of what?"

"Of us?" He says but before I can answer he pulls me into him and kisses me, waiting for me to react,

I'm trembling right now but I hate him for doing this to me. He knows that I can't say no to kissing him. He kisses me passionately at first but when I started kissing his back things got a little intense. He pushes me again the wall and I moan at the eagerness.

Someone tell me what the fuck is happening.

He holds my one leg up to his waist and I try balancing with my other poor leg. This feels wrong,

But yet so right?

Wait let me add things up.

I was with him this morning and we got interrupted so I left. After I left he meets up with his desert girl Sahara, when they were keeping each other company gosh I can't get over that, but he says they didn't do anything. I get back to my hotel room he come here, we start fighting and now we're making out....?

AM I INSANE?

He made me so depressed today and I'm making him kiss me???

Someone tell me what is my life right now

I'm a lost girl. And Justin made me lost. But I couldn't care less, I just really like him.

Let me stop thinking. He's flipping kissing me right now.

His lips leave mine but he continues kissing me, he kiss down my neck and sucking a little on my collar bones.

I'm so dumbfounded standing there letting him kiss me like that.

"Justin." I pant

"Mhm." He says

"I think we're getting too loud, I'm gonna go sleep." I say and push him off me a little

He stops and looks into my eyes, "you know you're the only girl I'm with, right?" He smiles

"I know, me too." I say

"I'm really sorry." He says once more when we were by the door

"It's cool, it's your life, so live it." I laugh leaning in the door frame

"Well, I can't live my life, without you." He smiles

"Okay Mr cheesy you can go back to your room now." I laugh

"Are you sleepy?" He asks

"Well now I'm not. I'll just FaceTime Charlotte."

"Okay, tomorrow's the last day here."

"Yeah, then Italy."

"Yeah."

"Okay then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Later Holly." He says kissing my cheek then leaves without a reply

"Bye Justin." I whisper to myself closing the door

What am I going to do with this boy.

Shrugging what just happened I go back to my room and go straight to my bed taking out my computer and phone.

I go on snapchat and look at some snap stories.

Seeing all my LA friends have some fun at some house parties, concerts, holidays, and friends. I think I'm starting to get a little home sick

But I needed a vacation seriously, and next week I'm going back home for a break another break after i graduate But when the break is finished, must I go back to touring with Justin? I dunno if he wants me to come but if he dti wants i'm sure I'll still go. University doesn't start until like next year september so

I feel like I'm sane now I've calmed down from what just happened but damn Justin and I don't even make sense when we fight, or even at all. Sigh

I'm still sane though

Or am I

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