i am lonely in places

i didn't even know

existed inside me

~nikita gill

today started your semester after winter break. you weren't as exited as you expect to be seeing as though you loved school and had a seemingly bright future ahead of you.

winter break had been the most emotionally draining time ever, between breaking up with your boyfriend and not having to spend it with anyone you were done for.

you got up out of the bed you hadn't left since yesterday and walked to your bathroom. you quickly used the restroom and washed your hand before turning on your shower.

you shed all of your clothes and got in the shower. you let the hot water cascade down your body bringing you warmth. you grabbed you lavender and vanilla scented and squirted some into your loofa. you lathered the body wash all over your body before you rinsed all of it off, repeating the process a couple of times.

you got out of shower and wrapped your body in a towel. you walked over to your sink staring at your tear stained face, you had been broken up with plenty of times but nothing ever felt like this, it was pure heartbreak.

you and adam had been dating for three years, when you started college. he was what you call the love of your life, or so what you thought. you had caught him cheating on you with your so called best friend samantha, that was a completely different heartbreak in itself. you never would have thought that the two people who meant the most to you would ever hurt you like this but you were completely wrong.

you quickly brushed your teeth and washed your face before walking out of your bathroom. you walked to your drawer and picked out a black bra and panty set putting them on quickly before walking to your closet.

you look through your clothes and decide on a white vintage crew neck and great sweatpants. you quickly get dressed and put your white air forces on. you walk over to your dresser and look at promos ring adam gave you, you avert your gaze from it and grab your glasses and put them on.

you walk over to your bed and grab your your book, notebooks, and laptop and put them in your bag. you walk into your kitchen and grab a coffee from the six pack you bought. you grab your keys from your kitchen counter and walk out of your apartment.

the campus was only five minutes away but it was cold so you decided to drive instead of walk. you walked down the two flights of starts to get to the parking garage where you were met with your red honda civic. you got in and put your bag in the passenger seat, you put your coffee in the cup holder hoping that it won't spill.

you pulled out of your parking lot and on to the street. the drive to campus was quick it was just the matter of finding your class.

room 223, dr. spencer reid, profiling 101

you pulled up to the social sciences building and parked, you grabbed bag and coffee and got out of your car. you locked you car as you walked into the building, looking for room 223. when you finally found it you opened the door and walked into the classroom. you saw a man with wavy brown hair looking down at files on his desk, you couldn't see his face but by his demeanor he seemed very reserved.

you found a seat towards the middle of the class and sat down. while you waited you scrolled through instagram and saw pictures of adam and samantha on your explode page, you quickly closed out of instagram trying to not have a breakdown in your class.

eventually everyone was settled in and the professor cleared his throat catching everyone's attention.

"hello everyone my name is spencer reid, i work for the fbi's behavioral analysis unit and was asked to teach a profiling class" he claps his hands together and looks around the room stopping to look at you for a minute before continuing

"i am a very lenient teacher but please don't not take my leniency for granted. i do not like tardiness but i will not grill you for it unless it is repeated the same thing late work. i don't not have a problem with eating in class as long as it isn't something loud that will disrupt the class." he pauses for a moment "each week we will talk about two serial killers and what caused them to become a serial killer. we will dive into their pasts and study their behavior inside and outside o" he says walking around the podium "at the end of each lesson i expect each and everyone one of you to come up with a profile based on the events of their killings before they got caught" he says clearing his throat

"at the end of the semester you will have a two part exam on every serial killer we studied. i am on call everyday of every hour. i will more than likely not be here most of the time, when i am not here i will email you all and have my ta answer any questions that will be asked." he finished "any questions"

he looks around the room and notices that no one has raised their hands. he walks around his desk and starts the presentation.

"stressors and triggers" he says

as the lecture drags on you read his body language, you can tell he's not used to this thing, as much as he tries to hide it he's actually nervous on the inside. you also notice how in-depth he is not missing a detail, he's quiet the perfectionist.

as your writing your notes you look stop to look at him. he's very attractive, he has a shape jaw line, a small perfect nose, plump pinks lips that are chapped because of how much he licks them, and his eyes, they hold so much emotions and you can't quiet figure it out.

"miss y/l/n" his voice snapping you out of your thoughts

"yes sir" you ask

"what is the difference between a stressor and a trigger" he asks looking at you intently

"a stressor is an event or environment that one might consider demanding, challenging or threatening to their safety... for example an event would be a divorce or the death of a loved one and an example of an environment could be workplace" you stop to clear your throat feeling nervous " a trigger is a stimulus such a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma. it is typically common with people who have ptsd" you finish keeping your head down

"nice work, that's all for today please go over the slide show and add any additional notes that you need" he says

everyone packs up their bags and walks out of the classroom. as your packing up you notice that it's only you and a couple of other students left, when you're finished you walk down the stairs.

"miss y/l/n before you leave can i talk to you for a second" he says softly. you walk up to his desk and he looks up at you.

"i noticed that you were distant today in class are you ok" he asks concern written all over his face

"uhm yes i'm fine dr. reid" you say quietly avoiding eye contact

"y/n i wanted to offer you the option to be my ta, i know it's early but you're smart and were able to answer that question with ease" he says "you don't have to give me an answer now but at least by the end of the week" he says clasping his hands together "if you have any questions please do not hesitate to email me ok"

"ok, have a good day dr. reid" you say

"you as well" he says giving you a small smile

with that you walk away letting the rest of the day fly past you just like every other day.

__________________________

happy new years guys

we started a new book, words can not express how excited i was to put this book out. i decided to scrap beautiful bog and decided to start a completely new book with professor reid. professor reid will has a special place in my heart and he like fresh out of prison so he's a little emotionally not there and so is y/n, basically the whole book is about them helping each other heal. i was looking at poetry the other day and came by the poet names nikita gill and her poetry is absolutely amazing , so i will not be using her poetry as a start to each chapter. i really hope you guys enjoyed this fist chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it.

much love

brielle