tell us what happened, Izuku?" Ochako asked, trying to hold a sternness to her tone. In actuality, she was shaken. Izuku had been strikingly quiet for hours at this point. After puking three times and dozing off for a while, he was finally sobering up a little.

Ochako worked diligently to throw away all razors and sharp objects in Izuku's room before they left, doing the same with the rest of the edibles Izuku owned.

They were all currently in Iida's room, where he had a plethora of first aid kits. His family specialized in the medical field, so thankfully he knew what to do.

"Bakugou called Uraraka using Mina's phone," Iida said, putting away a roll of bandages. "He's extremely worried. He said that you went to the bathroom but you never came back. He tried calling you, but...well."

Iida took his glasses off, navy blue eyes tired and emotional as his gaze pierced Izuku's. "He'd been looking in the area with no luck. By the time he got your room, we'd already left with you. He figured we'd probably know where you were, so he called. But you texting me by accident was only luck. Do you understand what I'm saying? You not dying from blood loss, choking on your own vomit while intoxicated, or accidentally bursting a vein while self harming was lucky. We barely made it to you in time."

"I told him you weren't feeling well to ease some of his worry, but I wont be able to lie like that for long. We don't know what's going on," Iida stressed, his voice strained, "So will you please tell us?"

Izuku's arms were wrapped in bandages, and he was lying down on Iida's bed, staring at the ceiling. Finally, after several minutes of stark silence, he spoke up.

"I was drugged, sexually assaulted, and almost raped a while back." Izuku's voice was a whisper. "I still have nightmares about it. Hisashi died and I'm attending his funeral. And Camie... attacked me. Beat me up. Said she'd rip me apart if i didn't stay away from Kacchan. Said she'd finish what Toga failed to do. Filled my mind with so much shit that I don't even know what's real anymore."

He turned away. "I don't know. I think I just got a bit tired of it all."

Ochako and Iida exchanged glances, trying to hide their shock. Other than what happened with Toga, this was all news to them.

"You've been having nightmares?" Iida asked incredulously, his eyes wide. "Your father passed away? That girl... She-"

"Izuku," Ochako whimpered, "I'm not trying to guilt trip you or anything, but you could've told us. You shouldn't have had to carry that big of a burden by yourself."

She clenched her fists. "That fucking bitch... I'll claw her eyes out for the shit she's done to you. I'm sick of it. She needs a taste of her own fucking medicine."

Iida swallowed hard. "I... I had no idea you were struggling with self harm either–"

"That's not it," Izuku cut in with haste. "This was the first time. Not that that makes it okay, but."

He shrugged. "Everything I've been trying to ignore and run away from has been... so inevitable and inescapable. That's why I tried to run towards it all for a second. I thought if I chased all these shitty feelings, I'd probably overcome them." He chuckled sheepishly. "I don't know, it's fucking stupid."

"But running towards pain and death is never okay, Izuku. It's reckless. People who do that... they don't value themselves or their lives," Ochako scolded, her voice shaking. "This... This isn't something you just think about doing, Izuku. The world is on your plate and you're choking down on every fucking thing when you don't have to. No matter how much we try, you don't let us in. We need you to let us in."

"I know your privacy is important," she said, her throat thickening with emotion, "but there's only so much privacy we can give you before it goes too far, Izuku. And by then... by then... it's too late to do anything."

Her hands were shaking. Truth be told, she was fucking terrified. She'd never seen so much blood before. She'd never seen so much pain. She'd never seen Izuku like this.

Ochako broke down into sobs, and Izuku's heart tightened. Iida clenched his fists, trying to contain his emotions.

"Hey," Izuku said with panic and haste, "please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm sorry I scared you guys like that." Tears, for the first time since he sobered up, left his eyes rapidly. He eyed the both of them, instant regret washing over him for putting his friends in that position. For putting himself in that position.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice cracking. "I just... I didn't know what else to do. I should've said something. I should've called. I shouldn't have ignored you guys. I didn't want to burden you."

"You will never be a burden." Iida's voice was exasperated, but firm and reassuring. "Never."

Izuku nodded frantically, trying to reassure Ochako as he weakly petted her arm. "I know. I know, and I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Ochako rasped, her voice now hoarse and her face red as she cried. "We should've noticed. I'm so disappointed in myself. I should've known things were hard for you. After what happened with Toga, I should've stuck with you more."

She hiccuped. "But when you distanced yourself, I thought giving you space was the best choice. Meanwhile, you were dealing with harder shit every day. I'm sorry, Izuku."

"It really isn't your fault–"

"No," Iida cut in. "Let us take responsibility. We're your friends. We should've been able to read the situation better."

Izuku nodded slowly, deciding to not insult their stance on the matter.

"Then let me take responsibility, too," he reciprocated.

"I'm sorry for scaring you guys. I'm sorry for being so reckless." He chuckled halfheartedly.

"It's fine. From now on, one of us will visit you everyday to keep you on watch," Ochako said firmly. It went without saying what she was implying. "I'm telling Kaminari too, since he's in your class."

Izuku jerked a little. "I don't really want anyone knowing–"

"I understand," Ochako replied with sincerity, "But Denki is pretty close with you too, right? We won't be able to see you everyday, and we're worried about what might go through your head, so him knowing will help."

"Besides, Katsuki would be the best option, but you'd prefer to distance yourself from him right now, wouldn't you?"

Izuku nodded. Camie had fucked with his mind, and even though he didn't fully believe her claims, he was simply exhausted. Being with Katsuki was too much at the moment, and he had a lot to deal with otherwise. Katsuki made him happy, but constantly being harassed by Camie and Toga wasn't worth it.

For the sake of his mental health, he needed space from the entire ordeal.

He decided that he'd see Katsuki in person to let him know. He just hoped he would understand.

"I understand." Izuku said, eyeing his friends with sincerity. Ochako smiled, placing a warm, comforting hand over his own.

His heart felt a tad lighter in the presence of people who loved him more than anything. It felt so new, yet so familiar.

Izuku turned away from his friends' gazes, his chest hallow as he willed himself to stop being such a crybaby.

________