Trevon's trial is today. I have been dreading this day for a week at least, since I was told I had to be a witness. I've had no communication with him but I would do everything in my power to make him come home. Trisha, Pookie, Mom an myself wake up early and get dressed in appropriate enough clothes for court. A few people of Trevon's friends on the block watch as we leave. Pookie gives them a head nod, letting them know that he will relay the information as it comes.

Trisha holds my hand and rubs it from time to time, as if this is my court trial. But I know a part of me needs it. I wasn't dealing with all of this as well as everyone else but I would never show that.

I wonder for a minute how she even knows that I haven't been well. Pookie, probably told her I wasn't answering Trev's calls. My stomach begins aching again. I clear my throat and the pain subsides.

It takes about an hour to get to the court by public transportation, but I don't remember the route or the bus we use. As soon as we left the house, something happened to my brain. There is a possibility that it caved in on itself.

We stand at the big wooden door with marble under our feet. The building has central air which I notice momentarily as I begin to get cold. Pookie goes to push the door open since I only stand in front of it, staring.

Trisha looks to me and takes my hand again, holding me tighter this time. The door slowly opens and a new breeze swifts across my face with a smell of old papers or maybe polished wood. I try to focus on the floor as Trisha walks us to the second row seats. I sit down and place my hands, along with Trisha's hands in my lap and try my best to look pulled together.

The door opens a few minutes later and my heart enters my throat. I feel my face freeze.

Trisha rubs my hand again.

"It's Flex." She says quietly.

I turn around to see Flex in a grey button up shirt and jeans. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then sits directly behind me. The small gesture brings a realm of comfort and Trisha knows and loosens her grip on my hand.

I tug at my skirt and blazer, making sure everything feels in it's place. My hair is up in a bun and there is little make up on my face.

More people enter the courtroom, but the judge is still absent.

I wasn't ready to see Trevon, my body knew that and tensed.

I hadn't called back or answered and those were the easiest things I could have possibly done. How could I look at him now?

After ignoring every way he reached out to me in his time of need, after he helped me when I needed him most.

His Mother and little sister make their way into the courtroom and sit beside Flex who greets them politely. His Mother looks a little out of it, much like I do. His little sister looks happy to be in the AC but a worried look still plagues her face. I know she must miss her brother.

Oh God.

I took him away from his family after he told me that he needs to provide for them, after he tried to keep out of trouble. I feel my emotions bubbling up to my throat and my eyes begin to water. I turn my face back to the front of the court room before his Mother or sister can see, but Trisha catches a glimpse.

She turns her head away from me to give me privacy, but rubs my arm a few times.

I pull it together before any more tears can fall out and moments later the judge walks in.

He is medium size, with glasses and a beard, his skin tone is light but holds a brown tint and his face seems to already be in a scowl. Shortly after, one police enters from the left side and I do not recognize the man following behind him, another police enters behind the man who's name I do not know. He walks with a limp and he goes very slowly.

He sits directly in front of us but a few feet ahead. The mans face looks beaten but familiar. I take a shallow breath, realizing and act as if I am unaffected.

It's him. The gun man. One of the guys from the park.

I can feel the cold gun in my back again. I can feel his body towering over me. Fear rises in me then disappears, then rises again. I don't look at the back of his head.

After the gun man and his lawyer sit down, a police enters from the right side and I immediately direct my gaze to the back of the chair in front of me. I know Trevon's face comes next and I'm not ready. I wonder if I will ever be ready to see him again.

I don't notice my leg shaking up and down until the Bailiff tells us to rise. I stand in unison with Trisha until the Bailiff tells us to be seated. I am trying to pay attention but everything begins to blend together in a heap of confusion in my efforts not to look at the gun man or Trevon.

The Judge, who the Bailiff introduces as Judge Jacobs begins to speak in his seat.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Calling the case of the People of the State of New York versus Trevon Wallace. Are both sides ready?"

A white man with black hair answers, the District Attorney I later find out.

"Ready for the People, Your Honor."

A black man with a low fade and a navy blue suit responds on Trevon's side.

"Ready for the defense, Your Honor."

I zone out once again and come back to reality when the jury sits down. The jury is made up of a diverse group of people who I keep my eyes away from after a few glances. I try not to analyze every piece of this matter. I try hard not to panic and think of the worst outcome, because then i really would break down.

The District Attorney and the Public Defender read their opening statements and shortly after the District Attorney begins to speak to the jury.

The white man with black hair has a pinched face, like he has never smiled a day in his live. Just the look of him speeds up my heart rate and angers me, even though he hasn't done anything worth me feeling this way yet.

"Your Honor and ladies and gentlemen of the jury: the defendant has been charged with the crime of attempted murder and possession of an unregistered firearm. The evidence will show that my client, Julius Gray was beaten until unconscious and then further injured by the defendant. The defendant also possessed an unregistered firearm on the night of his crime. The evidence I present will prove to you that the defendant is guilty as charged." He finished.

I stopped breathing.

Trevon couldn't get charged with attempted murder. He was only trying to protect me. Julius and his gang beat people up to that point daily.

I had a reason to hate the man now and I hated him.

The Public Defender on Trevon's side took the floor.

"Your Honor and ladies and gentlemen of the jury: under the law my client is presumed innocent until proven guilty. During this trial you will see that my client was only trying to protect himself from Julius Gray, who was the one in possession of an unregistered firearm. Julius Gray held my client's love interest at gun point. This was self defense. Therefore my client is not guilty."

I suddenly liked the man with a low fade and a deep voice.I come to understand his name is Mr. Philip I squeezed Trisha's hand, pleading within myself that he could win.

The judge rubs his eyes and then puts his glasses back on.

"The prosecution may call its first witness." He says.

The white man with black hair who I had come to hate is named Mr. Bing and he calls my name without a second guess. I feel my body freeze before Trisha whispers to me.

"It's Okay, baby girl. Just tell the truth and Trevon is good to go." She says.

I nod my head and stand to my feet. The Bailiff helps me to the witness stand and makes me raise my right hand and go through the entire process. After agreeing to tell the truth I take a seat in the hard chair and cringe at all the eyes staring at me.

Eyes that I have seen today and eyes I have not seen in 2-3 weeks. I look at Trisha out in the audience and decide to keep my eyes on her when I feel too alarmed. Her face is calm, she is my rock.

Mr. Bing turns to me with a fake smile on his face.

"Ms. Little, I understand that you are a key witness in this case, can you explain to the jury what happened on the night in question?" He asks.

I nod my head sheepishly. I repeated the entire story as I told it in the police reports, making sure I said everything properly, not to damage Trevon's case in anyway. I prepared for this briefly. The jury seemed sympathetic as by no accident or in an effort to sell the story, I began to tear up out of my own reminiscing.

"Julius Gray, held his hand over my mouth and he still had the gun pointing in my back when my phone began ringing. I thought he was going to get scared and shoot me right there but Trevon got him off me before he could do anything." I finish.

Mr. Bing stares deep into my eyes from a few feet away and even though I am telling the truth, I feel as though I am lying.

"So you say that Trevon Wallace 'got' Julius Gray off of you. How did he do this?"

I think briefly before responding, remembering the night. Remembering the two gun shots going off before I hit the floor. I contemplate if I should tell him this, but surely he knows bullets were fired.

"I heard two gun shots go off and then I just saw Trevon on top of Julius." I reply. Julius' name feels bitter in my mouth.

"So Mr. Wallace fired two gun shots?" Mr. Bing leans into me.

"Objection." I hear Mr. Philip say firmly. "That is a leading question,Your Honor."

"Rephrase the question, Mr. Bing." The Judge says accepting.

Mr. Bing rephrases without looking annoyed. "In what direction did the gun shots come from?"

"I don't know, sir." I answer honestly enough.

"But you believe the gun shots were in close proximity to you. Close enough to distract Mr. Gray." Mr. Bing motions to Julius in the corner.

I nod.

"For the record." He prompts.

"Yes, sir."

"So Mr. Gray is now on the floor and Mr. Wallace begins to 'defend' himself." Mr. Bing, uses air quotes. "Mr. Wallace places several punches to his face, correct?"

"Yes, sir." I say again. I still have not looked at Trevon the entire time.

"Now I want you to think hard about this question. Did you see Mr. Gray fighting back as he was getting punched?"

I don't think long. Of course Julius was fighting back.

"Yes, sir."

"According to medical records, there was a point when Mr. Gray was completely unconscious. Did you see Mr. Wallace continue to hit Mr. Gray at this time? Did you see the fight go from someone attempting to fight back to someone unconscious getting beaten?" He asks firmly.

I take a while to breathe. "Take your time." He says calmly.

I want to cry in that moment. I saw Julius go unconscious, but Trevon kept hitting. He punched and kicked and when Pookie pulled him off, he ran back and kicked and punched him again.

I lie.

"I was too shaken up to watch the entire fight. I was being comforted by a friend." I say boldly. I wipe the sweat from my hands onto my skirt.

"Hm." Mr. Bing taps his chin.

"Ms. Little, please tell the jury your connection to the defendant." He says.

I look to the jury and their eyes are already pinned on mine, waiting.

"Trevon is my boy friend." I say flatly.

"Do you feel the need to protect him? Someone who is so emotionally close to you." Mr. Bing asks. I do not answer.

"So much so that you would lie on this stand?" He finishes.

"Objection." Mr. Philip stands and for a brief second I look over at him and can see Trevon staring at me through his peripheral, i turn my head back to Trisha quickly. Her face makes me uncomfortable, she fixes it when she notices me staring.

"Withdraw." Mr. Bing says with his hands up.

"Ms. Little, I have been watching you and you have not looked at your boy friend once since you have been on this stand. You have actually tried your best not to." He says.

I feel a knot in my stomach.

"Why is that?" He asks, his eyebrows turned down at me.

"Is it because he beat an already unconscious man senseless?" Mr. Bing continues.

"Objection! He's badgering the witness." Philip says stern and now annoyed.

My tongue is tied and I am staring at Mr. Bing terrified.

"Is it because you are afraid of him now? Did you see a person that you have never seen before?" Mr. Bing's evil brown eyes are staring down at me and I suddenly want to throw up.

The judge bangs his hammer a few times as the courtroom erupts in my defense.

"Order! Mr. Bing, give the witness time to answer your questions. Please move on."

" I have pictures and medical records taken from the night of the incident." He goes to the desks and brings the pictures to the Judge, then a few to the jury. I can see their faces change to sympathy.

The pictures are soon present on a projection board so the entire court can see. Julius face is bloody and bruised and his sides are black and blue.

"Doctors say that not only was the gun used to create multiple whips to the head, but there is bruising in the abdomen area with medical records proving that Mr. Gray bruised three of his ribs on top of that. It is a miracle that he is even sitting before us." Mr. Bing says to the jury.

I can barely look at the pictures myself, tears form in the corners of my eyes and roll down my face.

For the first time I look at Trevon. His face is hard and emotionless. He stares at me like he has been looking at me the entire trial, waiting for me to look his way. To show me just how much he hated me, or just how much I had cost him.

He holds my stare and more tears roll down as I feel my lips tremble.

"Do you need a minute?" Mr. Bing asks.

"No." I shake my head and look away from Trevon.

"He was just trying to protect me. He told me to call him when I left the library and I forgot. If someone you love is in danger, you get worried. You react." I say sternly.

"Are you making an excuse for Mr. Wallace almost killing this man?" Mr. Bing asks surprised.

"What? No!" I say disgusted.

"No further questions." Mr. Bing takes his seat and I am escorted off the stand. Trisha meets me on my way back and as I sit, I collapse in her arms and cry silently. I feel my Mother's hands on my shoulder.

"I think we all need a fifteen minute break." The judge says, he bangs the hammer and the police lead Trevon and Julius back into the side rooms.

Trisha takes me to the bathroom and fans my face until I calm down.