The ride to Albany was at least 5 hours long. Mom and Trisha helped me move into my medium sized dorm room with cream colored walls, a twin sized bed, 2 dressers and a matching wooden desk. A small TV sat on the dresser in front of my bed. As soon as I was all settled in, with my decorations up on my wall, pictures of all my friends and my brown bed spread, Trisha had tears at the tips of her eyes. I heard sniffles before turning around to see her all flustered.

"You type dramatic." I say, pulling her into a hug.

"Don't think I love you or nothin. This Harvington dust getting to a sista eye." Trisha wraps her arms around me and sniffles a few more times, her tears wetting my shirt. Her hug felt nice. Something about it was very childlike, it took me back to the old days in the hood when we were around 10 years old, just running around on the street playing with our dolls and being teased by the boys. I would often be the one that needed a hug, as Trisha was always my rock. Now things have changed. Or maybe it was just in this instant that she seemed so sad and vulnerable.

"You know you can come visit me anytime." I say looking into her eyes.

"You ain't gotta tell me twice boo. You know ima be up here at these wild ass Harvington parties. Y'all smart asses know how to party." Trisha jokes as she grabs her bag from my small bed.

Mom came back to my dorm with a case of water, set it down in my mini-fridge and looked around the room to see if everything was set. She had bought me a few snacks and easy to make food in case I hated the free food in the dining halls.

"Come here." She says pulling me into a tight hug of her own. I saw no tears but I knew she would cry when she was back home in the house by herself.

"You come back to me on the holidays and whenever you get a few days off, you hear me? I'm going to miss you baby."

"I'll miss you too Ma. Don't worry, i'll be home before you even realize i'm gone. I'll call everyday.." I promise, kissing her on the cheek.

Before Mom leaves, she spends another half hour dusting off the desk and wiping my floors. Trisha really had to pull her out of my dorm room. I don't cry or even feel the need to...

Until the door slams shut behind them and I am in these four walls by myself. Is this how Trevon feels?

Of course not.

He doesn't have a soft bed with brown and cream decorations, or purple lights pinned to the wall, or a lava lamp from Flex. The lava lamp was a bit pointless. It's as if Flex walked into Walmart and saw the first slightly appropriate thing, then gift wrapped it. I smile, thinking about how he gave it to me.

"Uhm, I don't know what people need in college but I found this here jelly lamp lookin thing. You like purple right?The jelly things, they purple and they surrounded by liquid. You plug it in. Boom. Lights up the whole room."

I remember laughing at how clueless he is, watching him smile that big smile I love. Almost fatherly.

No tears are present in my eyes but a baggage of emotions temporarily wash over me. I sit on my bed and stare at the empty bed and desk across from me. School didn't start for the next 3 days so I guess whoever my roommate is doesn't plan on showing up until necessary.

I think about what Trevon and Pookie would say if they were the ones moving me in. They would probably make all the food Mom bought me, and eat it before they leave. Trev would probably plop down on my bed and mess up the neatness, Pookie would probably go look at college girls and get Trisha mad. You can't bring hood boys to nice places.

I don't notice the tears until my cheek itches from the tickle of water. I look in the mirror to the side of my bed and notice that I am still smiling, even with the water damping my neck. I sniffle and wipe the tears away.

This isn't a place for sadness. Aside from the parents, I didn't spot one Freshman who looked anything less than excited.

This was college, everyone wanted to be here.

This was a good college at that.

I got off my bed and walked into the hallway then turned left, passing a few more freshman rooms. Their parents continue helping them unload. The place smells like students but I don't exactly know how to explain it.

I come across a large room with high ceilings and swipe my student ID card to enter. There are no people in the room, only lounging couches and a large pool table to one side. The sticks and balls are scattered, like someone was already playing and grew tired of the game, then just left it there.

I walk to the huge wide window in the lounge and take in the view of a small portion of Harvington's campus. I am on the 3rd floor, so the other resident halls block my view of the school Quad. I am momentarily excited for what the school has to offer.

Crying in my room won't get Trevon out of jail any faster than it will enjoying my stay here. I've been too hard on myself recently. Maybe that's the problem. As I am staring out the window, I hear the beep of the ID reader and then the push of the door. I turn around to see a brown haired student with a green t-shirt on that reads RA Brad with small words underneath it.

"Hey, I'm the RA for this floor! My name is Brad, what's yours?" His voice is loud and perky and he smiles a lot. His skin is cream but tanned and he looks like he works out, as his shirt seems a little tight around his toned arms.

"Hi, I'm Chanel." I say getting up and straightening my shorts.

"Nice to meet you Chanel, if you need anything or have any questions ever, i'm in room 300. I believe you are in room 307? " He questions squinting his eyes in an attempt to remember.

I nod, impressed or creeped out.

He makes a fist and pumps it into the air, rejoicing. "Yes! You're the first one I've actually gotten right."

I chuckle with him.

"I know all your names and rooms, I'm just trying to match the faces as you move in. Okay, Chanel. Have a great evening. Make friends, don't wear your key chain around your neck, very Freshman move." He says.

I look at my key chain in my pocket and nod pleased with myself.

He smiles easily.

"You're a natural." He compliments.

I can finally read the fine print on his shirt. It says

"Fly shirt." I say in between giggles.

"Thank you, Chanel!" He says excited. He pushes the door and exits and in seconds later I hear him laughing with another student.

I liked him, even though he was a bit more hyper than I am used to. He seems cool anyway.

I return to my room a few minutes after, to see the door half opened.

I curse under my breath. Did I forget to lock it?

I push the door open all the way and walk in to see a slim brunette with freckles plastered all over her face. She wears jeans shorts and a white tank top with converse and is setting a few boxes down in front of the empty bed across from mine.

"Hi, my name is Kelly!" She says excited, but her voice chips in and out like she has been screaming for days.

"Hi. Chanel." I introduce myself to the second person in less than 10 minutes and notice this is going to go on for the next couple months.

"You must be my roommate?" She asks with a light smile.

"Yea, looks like it."I answer nicely. Kelly is just about my height and size. Her freckles make her adorable, and I come to learn that her voice is just naturally raspy as the night goes on.

After she is finishing unpacking we sit on our beds and talk about our interests and where we are from.

She tells me that her Mom is a known fashion designer in Manhattan and that her Dad works in real estate. I stray away from discussing my family for obvious reasons and just let her talk. She is talkative but thankfully not as hyper as RA Brad.

"What do you do for fun?" She asks interested.

I smile before I even start talking about it.

"I do poetry and music."

Her face lights up.

"Wow am I in the presence of someone talented? Because I'm a bit jealous already?" She flips her hair back and pouts.

"Jealous of what?" I laugh.

"Well you're absolutely gorgeous. I don't know if you've seen yourself lately." She breathes a laugh and I stare at her not knowing how to take it. She seems sincere enough but I fan it off.

"Thank you, but I think you're very pretty also."

She shrugs. "Thanks, tell me more about music and poetry."

"Yea, I'm supposed to be working with some people while i'm here. A producer and vocal coach. So should be fun." I nod my head. I held back information because Mom taught me not to put all my business out there. Still, I suddenly feel like I've said too much. I somehow got Kelly to think I was the absolute shit in less than a few hours. She seemed overjoyed to have me as her roommate.

As the night went by I realized that I really liked Kelly. We didn't have much in common but she was cool and she didn't feel the need to fill every moment with talking. She stayed on her laptop with her headphones in until she was ready to go to bed. I began free writing some poems and they came out a lot more positive this time but when I finally went to sleep, Trevon welcomed himself back into my dreams. His eyes pinned on mine in the courtroom etched its self into my memory.