"Send me a picture of this Devin guy, I wanna see him cause you describing him like he Jesus." Trisha teased on the phone.

"I never said he was Jesus, I'm just saying he got nice eyes and muscles. He looks like your typical Fraternity boy." I answered.

"But he's not. You told me he took you home, you asked him to stay and he ain't try nothing. That doesn't sound like them fast-ass boys I be seeing in them movies. What's that one called that we had watched? Van Wilder?"

I rolled my eyes and looked at Kelly to see if she was paying attention to us. I don't think she could hear Trisha from across the room.

"I don't have a picture for you, but yo, Mac is mad cool. We had fun yesterday, it was chill." I said remembering.

"I'm so glad that he likes me and actually thinks i'm talented. I mean I know that I am, but it's nice hearing it from a Grammy winning producer. I'm just so excited." I sighed happily.

"Girl, I always knew big things were coming for you. You gettin' just what you deserve."

I missed her again at that moment. I wanted to see her face. I wanted to hug her and talk face to face, I wanted to laugh with my best friend. I've never met anyone else in the world that held me down as much as she always did, and she never hated on me. She was always happier than I was about my success.

"When I make it, you gettin everything. I swear." I chuckled.

"Girl, I betta! Shiiiiiiit." Her cackling laughter only made me miss her more. "After all the shit I done did and not did for you."

"What have you not done for me?" I was interested.

"Well there are mad girls in school that I ain't beat up after they messed with you and that was only because if I went to jail, I wasn't sure what you would do without me." She smacked her lips.

"Word, there were mad girls you ain't beat up. But you beat up a good amount, Trish."

"Only the necessary." She squealed.

We laughed and then it was silent for a moment.

"Trev's fine, I know you bout to ask." She said.

I wasn't impressed that Trisha and Trevon could read my mind anymore. Not after spending most of my life with them.

"Thanks." I answered.

No one spoke for a few more moments. I battled with myself to ask more questions about him. I knew Trisha would tell me everything I wanted to know but I don't ask them. I hold my tongue.

One question would lead to 45 and that would lead to a bag of emotions that I just didn't want to get into with Kelly in the room.

*********************************

Luvst

Love and lust are two of the most fucked up emotions in this world

They share an amazing number of similarities and far few differences than many think

Love can make you crazy

Euphoric and alluring

Love can make you do things you never thought you would

In an instant

Love will make you walk for an hour in freezing weather, up a steep hill full of snow, in shoes with not nearly enough friction to keep you from slipping, just to put the tip into that jar at the small cafe that sells bad coffee but has that cute waitress you've been plotting on

Love can conquer your entire mind with fantasies too detailed to be this made up, too intense to let go of the next morning

Too intimate to be explained

Love is an attack on the brain

Pistol whip to the face, stab in the eye

Love can blind you and cut out your tongue

It brings violence but God...

God... does it bring peace...

It smothers you in a warm blanket of comfort

Only after that experience, do you realize you were cold

But Lust...

Lust can make you crazy

Euphoric and alluring

Lust can make you do things you never thought you would

In an instant

Lust will make you walk for an hour in freezing weather, up a steep hill full of snow, in shoes with not nearly enough friction to keep you from slipping,

just to put the tip in...

Lust can conquer your entire mind with fantasies too detailed to be this made up, too intense to let go of the next morning

Too intimate to be explained

Lust is an attack on the brain

Pistol whip to the face, stab in the eye

Lust can blind you and cut out your tongue

It brings violence but God...

God... does it bring peace...

It smothers you in a warm blanket of comfort

Only after that experience, do you realize you were cold

If Love and Lust are so close then surely you must consider

Passion and pussy

I want to ask him very direct questions

I want to look him in the eyes as he answers.

Question 1.

Do you care about me or do you want to get me wet so you can slide in?

Passion or pussy?

Question 2.

Do you like tangy sweet fruits or the rather vulgar slang for cats?

Question 3.

Do you want to sway with me or play with me?

Question 4.

Passion or pussy?

Question 5.

If I decide I want you mentally and you decide you want me bent over your knees, then what?

Question 6.

If you decide you want my mind, body and soul and I decide I want you to snatch my soul with your strokes, then what?

Question 7.

If we fuck on the first night but I happened to have loved you in a past life, then what?

Question 8.

Passion or pussy?

Are you answering honestly?

Question 9.

If pussy is power and passion is powerful then are the two as intertwined as the intercourse?

Question 10.

Love or lust?

___________________________________

The library was completely empty. I sat at the computer desk with my books to the side, headphones in and a pencil in my mouth. I was working on a paper for Classic English Lit and at least an uninterrupted hour had gone by before I felt someone pull the pencil right from under my lips.

I looked to my right confused, my eyebrows down and my forehead crinkled. My eyes caught the light skin and brown eyes, a chiseled face man. The Alpha, in every sense of the matter it seemed. I felt my body immediately begin to sweat.

"Hello, Chanel. MacWayne's newest signed artist." He spoke close to my face to keep from disturbing anyone around me. I hadn't realized more students trickle in.

I stared at him speechless, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a singer? " He asked.

I turned my head to my computer and finished a sentence I started in my paper.

"Why didn't you tell me you worked at the MacWayne studios?" I asked.

"Well we didn't really get to talk. You were quite drunk and needy the last time I saw you." He smirked.

"Needy?" I exclaimed. A few heads in the library turned.

"Shhh." He laughed a beautiful laugh but I was too shocked to even be phased.

"What do you mean needy?" I went back to my whisper.

"You were all, 'is that what you do? Prey on vulnerable freshma- BLURRGGG." He demonstrated a throw up face, wiped his hands across his mouth then continued, "Devin, will you please stay with me?"

I squinted at him, already tired of his company.

I returned to my paper and decided not to respond.

"So what is this? The silent treatment?" He asked, his face moving closer to mine.

I ignored him and continued with my essay, typing extra loud, my lips pressed into a hard line.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I was just playing, no need to be so angry." He nudged me on the shoulder. "You know I didn't mind any of that." He finished.

I continued with my childish actions, even though I was no longer mad at him.

"Alright, fine. Have it that way."

He pulled his book bag off, and sat it in the chair beside me then pulled out his laptop and placed it beside mine on the table. I stopped typing as I noticed what he was doing and stared at the ceiling, praying to God.

"I gotta finish this paper. I have to write songs and do vocal exercises later." I complained.

"Ohhh, she talks!" He smiled looking at me.

I grinned, watching his antics.

"Ain't nobody tryna bother you. I'm just trying to do my work. This is a free world, is it not?" He mused.

I rolled my eyes as he took out a big book that read Advanced Music Theory . I was impressed, fascinated even but I couldn't let him see that.

"Ohhh that's why you're bothering me. You ain't got nothing to do, Music Industry Major. Do y'all even get homework?" I questioned, offended and jealous.

"I am a double major, Music and Business. So, yes I do have homework. Tons of it." He responded smartly. Again, I hide my fascination. He was a business major. I've heard that Business is one of the hardest majors to complete, aside from the Sciences. A double major who works part time at an incredible studio. What's next, he volunteers at an animal shelter on weekends? Clothes the homeless? I refocus.

"What do you want to do with that?" I asked sincerely.

"I would like to manage artists, I figured I needed both the music and business side of it. I am a musician but with music comes a lot of legal issues. You know, licensing, copyrighting, contracts, record deals. That's pretty much what I want to master and that is also why I'm surrounding myself with the music industry and working at MacWayne's. That is my paid internship and you are going to be dreadfully distracting Ms. Little." He finished.

There was no more pretending not to be impressed because for a moment I just stared at him and I can't imagine what my face must have looked like. He completely had my attention. He seems confident and intelligent, a well-mannered young man. The type of guy Mothers want for their daughters.

"What's your major?" He asked.

Now I didn't want to share. I suddenly felt like a lost child with no path. I pointed to my English textbook and he did a nervous laugh.

"What?" I asked annoyed all over again.

"You're selling yourself short." He shrugged.

"How? I love writing and creating. I am a Poet before anything." I turned completely towards him.

"You are but what about your other skills? How are they growing?" He looked at me waiting for my answer.

"What do you suggest?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Well first of all," He stares at my arms before unfolding them.

"..folding your arms is a universal gesture of shutting someone out and isolating yourself. Don't do it in interviews, don't do it when talking to someone of power and don't do it when talking to people, period."

I rolled my eyes and turned my head to the side.

"Second, stop rolling your eyes." He turned my face to his and for a split second I enjoyed the closeness. I quickly moved my head away. "It's a bad habit."

"What do you suggest Devin?" I stretched out the words seeming aggravated. He smiled lightly.

"Double major. English and Music" He said.

I shook my head. "I don't have time, not with the studio." I turned myself back to my computer and he immediately turned me back." He opened his textbook to a random page and pointed to a note in a sheet of music.

"What note is that?"He asked.

I glanced at him, then at the note, then shrugged, proving his point.

"That is F." He answered for me. "A, B, C, D, E, F, G." He continued, pointing at different notes on and in between different lines.

"Singers don't need to know how to read music." I said pouting a little at my lack of the skill.

"You're having an off night but you also have a 2 hour show to do in a few minutes." He begins, staring intensely into my eyes. "The most difficult song you are singing is in the key of D#, which is too hard on your voice at this point, what note can you go down to? What's your comfort zone?" He asked.

Again I stare at him puzzled.

"You know nothing about music. Not yet." He settled down in his chair pleased that he had somehow gotten to me.

"Aren't I gonna learn all that in voice training with Cece?" I asked.

"Moderately. Not everything you need to know." He answered.

I tapped my pencil on the computer desk for a few seconds and sighed. I could feel his eyes on my face.

"Why don't you teach me everything?"

His eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted.

What a perfect idea, I was proud of myself and the excitement was completely obvious.

"Teach me everything you know!"

The person sitting a few seats away from us shushed us immediately.

"Sorry." I said with a slight attitude.

I turned back to Devin. "Come on, teach me." I smiled delicately and blinked twice.

"Don't use your looks on me." He mumbled looking away and back to his laptop.

"If you teach me I'll know everything I need to, without having to register for classes, worry about exams and grades, a whole other major, a-" He stopped me.

"I'll do it. But you have an exam every week, a quiz every Monday and we have to meet 3 to 5 days, you do have to study." His face was close to mine now. "Hard."

I stared at him slightly annoyed. He was going to take this seriously.

"You should have double majored." He smiled and turned back to his work. I turned back to mine, my eyes squinted. What had I gotten myself into?