Seeing Bizzy perform his hit songs live is an amazing experience. He controls the crowds and brings so much energy that it makes my performance look wack to me, though I know everyone enjoyed it. I can almost hear Pookie screaming the lyrics. I now admired and respected him. He wasn't just another weed head rapper. He had substance in his music, he had grace on the stage and he had over 50,000 more fans than I did.

Smooth Ricky kills the stage but leaves right after his performance. I never got to meet him. I guess that was kinda how it was the bigger you got. I was the newest one to the game. Bizzy had already had a top single and Smooth had two.

The Pop Off Freestyle was still climbing the charts and a lot of people still didn't know me yet. The show only made me want to head straight back to Albany and create new fire.

After it all ends Blaco and Mac allow me to exit out front, instead of outback with them.

"Go sign some autographs, take pictures, communicate with your fans." Mac says.

Mom, Pookie, Flex and Trisha are by me as I exit and a mob of screams and people yelling hits my ears.

"Chanel, can I have a picture please!" I heard a voice call out. It seems to start the domino effect because soon everyone wants a picture or autograph. I spend a few minutes posing as they poke their camera out to do the selfies.

I sign a few autographs, though I haven't decided on the one I really want to use and then Blaco swings the car around front.

Mac is in the front seat and when he rolls down the window, pictures snap and the screaming people become even louder.

"Mac! Mac!" They call, hoping that he looks towards the camera but he just motions for me to come in.

I walk to the car with Trish.

"Trisha and I are going to go hangout with Bizzy for a bit. I'll see you back upstate." I give him a kiss on the cheek and cameras snap like crazy.

"Ok, darling be safe." He responds.

Mom leaves with Flex and as we walk to the back entrance where Bizzy's limo still sits, I realize that Pookie is following us.

"Where you goin?" Trisha asks.

"What you mean? Chan said I would get to meet him." He protests.

I laugh hard. "Nah let him come, I don't think Bizzy would mind. Just don't fan girl out and embarrass me." I say to Pookie.

He rubs his hands. "I won't, I won't. Chillax."

There is no one in the back entrance apart from the smooth black limo. A man dressed in a suit and tie opens the door for me and a strong scent of weed pours out of the car. The fog is blinding.

I enter and take a seat across from Bizzy.

"Hey little firecracker!" He sings with a blunt in his hand.

I laugh and cough, fanning the smoke away.

"Bizzy, you mind if my other friend comes with us? We call him Pookie." I say as Pookie takes a seat as close to Bizzy as he can get.

Bizzy looks at him strange then shrugs.

"Nah y'all valid." He speaks as if he is holding in a breath of smoke.

He dabs up Pookie and I am surprised when Pookie doesn't actually scream and freak out.

Two more people enter the limo. They were from Bizzy's squad. I realized I needed a hypeman after they came up on stage with him and made the whole situation ten times more lit than it would have been. I knew Trisha and Pookie wouldn't mind being hype on stage but they would probably start fighting and bickering up there. I laughed at the idea.

Bizzy's two friends set down a bowl of weed and begin rolling more blunts.

"This is Ying and Yang." Bizzy says pointing to them. "They been my friends for most of my life. We grew up in Chicago together."

The two boys give us a head nod.

"Y'all this my new wifey, Chanel. She don't know it but we gon be together one day." He laughs.

I shake my head and smile then glance at Pookie who now held a serious face staring at me. I clear my throat and look away from him. He shouldn't have come.

Bizzy passes the weed to Trish and she puts the blunt to her mouth. The small joint lights up red as she pulls.

"So how you liking life in the public eye so far?" Bizzy asks me.

"Well, I been upstate so I ain't even been around any of the hype. Now that i'm back in the city i'm getting a real sense of how known I actually am. Like two girls came up to me asking for pictures yesterday, it was weird." I answer.

Bizzy nods his head. "Yea, that part is always nice. Hearing everybody sing ya lyrics, taking pictures and shit. It's good to be known."

Ying passes the blunt to me and I pass it to Pookie without putting it to my lips.

"Damn, you don't smoke?" Bizzy asks.

"Nah, never have." I respond.

"You mind being in it? I'm sorry Princess, I didn't know." He apologizes.

"I've been around it a few times, no big deal." I shrug.

Trisha's eyes are low and she stares at me with a light smile. "You want to try it tonight? " She asks laughing.

"Nope." I answer quickly.

The limo laughs.

Another blunt is in rotation. Pookie exhales what he pulls and takes another puff before passing it back to Bizzy.

The limo is fogged with smoke and though it is large in size, the fog makes it look smaller. I wondered how the driver was coping but there is a wall that separates us from him so I guess he wasn't inhaling it like I was.

I pass the second blunt to Pookie and another blunt is added to the rotation.

Wow.

There was no way I wasn't leaving this car high.

"Yo we have liquor. You drink?" Bizzy asks. Music began playing in the car, a record Bizzy wrote.

"Yea, swing that." I reply finally relieved that I still get to participate.

It's a large bottle of Henny.

"You got anything to mix it with?" I ask looking around.

Bizzy laughs. "We don't chase our liquor in these parts, Princess." His smile is golden. Perfect white teeth and his bun bobs on top of his head.

I put the Henny bottle to my head and take a gulp then regret it immediately. I hide the fact on my face and breathe out.

"Hooo." I say to myself.

"Yeaaaa." Bizzy laughs.

"Celebrate! You just bodied your first performance from what I've been told, and you just got signed to a major label, straight out your hood. You know how many people been trying to get signed for years, ma nigga?" He puts the blunt to his mouth then pulls in.

"You definitely right." I say taking another gulp. The alcohol burns as it goes down my throat.

I look at Trisha who has began her own side conversation with Pookie. They are both high as a kite. Pookie switches to the seat closer to Trisha and I move closer to Bizzy. Close enough so he can whisper to me.

"You sure you don't want to try? I mean I have a theory that everyone should get high at least once in their life, you know? " Bizzy sings.

I look at him with my finger to my chin, thinking. I could start to feel the effects of the alcohol.

I take another big gulp of the Henny.

"But if you gon try the weed, you have to stop drinking. I don't know if you can handle being cross faded just yet." He chuckles.

I cover the bottle of Henny and put it down by my foot.

"Swing that." Yang says as his hand is extended. I pass the bottle of Henny to him and he opens it and throws some back.

The blunt is in Bizzy's hand and I look at his face as he looks at mine. He stares at me, his lips turned up and his eyes low.

"You don't have to." He warns pulling the blunt away from me.

The alcohol was definitely taking its course as my brain fogs as much as the limo in a matter of minutes.

I feel easy and relaxed but brave and sexy.

I move my face close to Bizzy's playfully.

"You think I can't handle it?" I flirt.

He clenches his jaw and waits a moment. "Handle what exactly? My mind just went to completely different things."

I giggle and move back from him.

"Nasty." I say.

"But I'm sure I can handle that too." I add.

He throws his head back and laughs and I cover my mouth shocked at myself. I laugh cutely with him.

"That's the liquor talking." I say swiftly.

"Nah, you know what you sayin Princess. Ima let it slide though." His smile only gets more and more attractive as he talks. Pookie and Trisha are smiling and speaking to each other in low voices. I don't want to know what they are talking about because his hand rests on her thigh.

Ying and Yang seem off on their own side conversation and bizzy holds the last blunt between his fingers.

He puts it to his lips and the blunt lights red.

I watch the smooth motion and then I watch his eyes that don't leave my face. The smoke come out his nose and for a moment he looks like a tatted dragon.

"You're beautiful." He says to me softly. The words massage my ear and my fuzzy head only wants to hear more.

He takes the blunt from his lips then places it lightly to mine.

Without a second guess I take a pull.

Bizzy smiles. "Easy." He says.

I inhale slow but my inhalation is interrupted by a small cough. He pats my back.

"That wasn't bad." He nods.

"Now when you take a pull this time, try to hold it in and then blow it out slow." He demonstrates and blows the smoke up to the roof of the limo.

I don't notice how close we are until I feel his arm around my neck. I do as told and as I breathe in slowly, I imagine the smoke filling my entire body as it travels. I lean my head back onto Bizzy's arm, close my eyes and blow the smoke into the roof of the limo.

"Shit, that was really good." He mumbles. His words are dragging and slow but his voice is still music to my ears.

"You doing better than I did my first time." He says proud.

"Really?" I smile pleased with myself. "Let me try again."

"Last pull. I don't want you on ya ass, this is a little strong for a first timer." He passes the blunt back to me.

I take a slow and deep pull and try not to cough it out. I blow it into Bizzy's face and his low eyes stare at my lips.

My body is light and I feel euphoric.

Time and everyone around us seems to be moving slower.

I move my lips close to his, suddenly wanting to see how they feel against mine. They look soft and they taunt me.

He licks them and leans his head close to mine and before they can connect the car nudges backwards as it reverses out of the back entrance of S.O.Bs. Our body jolts forward slightly and I am brought back to my senses. The strange thing is that I didn't even notice that we hadn't been moving this entire time.

I look straight ahead at Ying and Yang. They bop their heads to another Bizzy track.

Pookie speaks and his voice sounds foreign and slow.

"I fucked with this mixtape, B. The first two tracks really helped me with some bullshit I was dealin with." Pookie says.

"Word? Respect, man. That's why I rap." Bizzy says.

"I liked the line in Immortal when you said 'Niggas being faker than mannequins, I wipe my eyes then take a life to feel like a man again, swear the pain hurts more than the love for this fame, and I know it cheats but I still got love for this game.'" Pookie raps and Bizzy mouths his own lyrics along.

"That song alone made the album just real as shit." Pookie finishes.

"I respect it. People love the radio hits but I be wonderin if they listening to the real shit I been sayin so thank you for that, man." Bizzy nods.

"Chicago ain't no joke. I don't want to compare the two but I feel like Brownsville is a mini Chicago sometimes." Trisha adds.

"Nah that's facts." Yang agrees.

"A lot of bloodshed and a lot of talent coming up out there forreal." Bizzy adds.

I want to contribute to the conversation but can't bring myself to pick a thought and stay with it. My mind races and I remain quiet.

The limo erupts into a deep conversation about rappers and their lyrics and Ying and Yang begin bringing up Biggie lyrics that started the violence and disturbance in the hood.

"Nah, there was always violence in rap music. My thing is that's the environment we live in, that's what we know. We can't sing about rainbows and flowers but we can sing about hoe's and sunflower seeds we used to spit out coming from school on the block. You know? We can spit about the violence and tryna meet the ends cause that's what we been through." Bizzy finishes.

"Yea, its unrealistic to say rappers want to stop the violence but rap about the violence because that's all we know. And we get famous off of it cause it's real shit that other people in the same situation relate to." I finally add. Everyone looks at me surprised.

"Hey she talks." Bizzy smiles.

"I don't know how y'all even form thoughts right now, I can barely keep my eyes open." I say carefully.

Everyone laughs.

"It's because it's your first time, you handle the high better after you've experienced it a few times." Yang comments.

"How you feelin?" Trisha asks.

"I'm really good. Light and free, a little drowsy." I shrug.

The limo breaks to a stop and begins parking.

"We here." Bizzy says.

A few moments pass and the driver opens the door.

I wobble out behind Bizzy and almost fall.

He catches me and puts his arm back around my shoulder.

"Nobody saw, you good." He laughs into my ear.

We go through the back of the club, the bouncer lets us in and then a girl dressed in a tight black dress leads us to the VIP section.

We sit in the round couch and Bizzy orders more bottles. The people around us dance and grind on each other.

"Shout out to Bizzy and his crew in VIP! What it do?" The Dj screams on his mic.

Bizzy raises his bottle and a few pictures snap.

They begin playing dancehall music and Trish and I get up and start whining all over the place. Pookie seems distracted in a side conversation with Ying and Yang and I look around to see Bizzy watching me, eyes low, eyes daring with want, eyes focused on nobody else.

I move my waist to the slow reggae song and look at him teasingly.

He smiles and shakes his head then calls me over.

I sit beside him and he whispers in my ear.

"You're so fucking sexy." His voice is low and I almost moan at the want I find in it.

I get up to head back to Trisha who is dancing on Pookie and Bizzy slaps my ass right as it leaves the seat. The vibration runs through my entire body, amplified by the weed. I turn around swiftly to see if anyone has seen. They seem preoccupied.

I look at Bizzy, my face filled with intent.

I walk away from him and around the corner, holding his gaze. I go into the bathroom unbutton my jeans and wait.

He is there in seconds. He turns the latch, shutting the door behind us, and in a swift and firm movement, pins me against the wall.

His big hands move up my chest and to my throat, he squeezes only slightly then presses his lips to mine and kisses me deeply. His other hand moves down my jeans then into my underwear and his fingers slide right down the most sensitive piece of flesh in between my legs.

I am wet. I was wet in the car, I felt it even before we got here.

I wrap my arms around his neck and I can't tell if we are moving like savages as the alcohol and weed messes up my time concept. His fingers slide against me easily as he spreads the moisture and slides his middle finger deep into me. I pull in a swift breath and moan.

More.

My body moves forward and he withdraws his finger and lifts me on to the sink. He pulls off my jeans and underwear completely then he bites my neck and I moan again pulling his head closer.

I want him now, all of him. So bad that it aches.

He unzips his pants, pulls it down and within seconds his length is deep in me.

I groan loudly as he pulls back and slides in deeper. I don't realize how wet I am until his hands wrap around my neck and I can feel my own moisture smeared on my skin. He is so big that the pressure alone makes my eyes rolls back in my head.

"Mmmm, fuck."I hear myself moan and wonder if it is really me.

Bizzy pulls my waist up towards him on the sink and sinks in and out of me again and again. I watch as his length disappears and reappears with every thrust, my wetness fully present on his shaft.

"Damn, you're tight as fuck Chanel." He breathes out biting down on his bottom lip.

He puts his hand against the bathroom wall steadying himself and keeping up a pace so perfect I feel the tension begin to build in my abdomen. His big arm flexes on the wall and there is a tattoo of a dragon that runs from his biceps to his wrist. I close my eyes and lean my head back, feeling the perfection of his size move through me, gliding so easily I wonder how wet I really am.

My breath is uneven as my lips part and I moan loud enough that he grunts taking pleasure in my sound. I feel my body let go and I arch my back and shudder as I release. He withdraws himself quickly and clear liquid squirts out of me twice. My body shakes and it happens again.

He smiles and taps between my legs twice and more liquid squirts out.

"Good girl." He mumbles.

He briefly sinks his length back into me and then pulls it out quickly. I feel myself convulse around him and I know he can feel it too.

He pulls out then slides back in, deeper and I moan as the tension builds again. He pulls out so the clear liquid can shoot out of me once more.

"Fuck." He mumbles unable to hold back anymore. Bizzy holds his shaft and turns away, so that his white splashes onto the wall and toilet seat. He breathes heavily and strokes his length then leans against the wall tired.

"Mmm, Chanel." He breathes.

After a moment he looks at me and helps me down from the sink. I pull up my jeans and stare at the bathroom with our liquids scattered around. I cover my mouth and laugh.

"You are trouble." Bizzy comments still trying to calm down.

"I've never done that before." I stare at him wide-eyed.

"What?" He questions.

"Uhm." I make squirting actions with my hands and he laughs.

"Glad to be the first to make you do that." He kisses my lips slow and zips up his pants.

I run my hands through my hair and we take a moment to catch our breaths.

"You leave first. Look if anyone is around." He says using his shirt to wipe the sweat from my forehead. His abs are exposed momentarily. I sigh.

I open the bathroom door and walk out. I head back to our VIP booth and have a seat.

"Your hair." Pookie points to my head and I notice the back of my hair is up in a weird position. I smooth it down and give him a smile.

"Thank you. Must have forgotten to fix it-"

"Your zipper." Pookie mentions coldly. He glares at me now.

I pause.

I curse myself in my head.

I avoid his eyes and zip myself up.