A week has passed since the release of "The Come Up" and I swear I have spent that entire week sleeping. Mom wakes me occasionally to eat, we watch movies and then I fall asleep again. As soon as I fall back asleep, I know that she spends the remaining time with Flex. He's in Albany for a few weeks but I force myself not to think about what happens when he leaves Albany because I know that he will want to take Ma with him, and I've loved having her around so much. You never know how much you love your Mom until she isn't around all the time.

Mac tells me that the album is doing well and Trisha tells me that I've been trending on twitter for four days straight, which I guess is a good thing. It feels great to have a body of work that I love so much circulating. I finally feel like I've given my fans what they deserve. I finally feel like I'm satisfied with all the hard work I put in. The stress is off my shoulders even if it's just temporary.

For once, I don't have a show I need to be practicing for or a time to meet Mac in the studio. I don't have interviews and rehearsal. Mac says to rest this week because next week is literally insane. I haven't asked what he meant but I try my best to prepare myself for whatever I might have to throw myself in.

There is a knock at my front door. I look at the clock which reads 6 PM, Mom and Flex are on some kind of date and Mom already mentioned that she might not even return to me tonight. I shiver disgusted, not wanting to think about ANYTHING they could be doing. I peep through the whole in the door and see the light skin tall and chiseled bodied man. I hadn't seen Devin in at least two weeks.

I open the door.

"You're alive?" I joke.

He walks in and takes his shoes off by the door then open his arms up for a hug. I hug him tightly, missing him and his warm company.

"Hey superstar, how have you been?" He kisses my forehead lightly.

When he lets me go, I feel chilly. I pull my sweater tighter around my body.

"I've been good, finally getting to sleep. Where have you been?I haven't seen you for decades." I exaggerate.

Devin chuckles.

"I've been at school and things like that." He trails off.

"Things like that?" I scoff. "Okay, I'm going to ignore how weird you sound."

"Congrats on Gold." Devin says with a big smile.

I stare at him wide eyes. "What?"

"Take my heart? That track with Mila?" He looks at me like I've grown five heads.

"Take my love!?" I scream. "That went Gold? Remind how much Gold is please?"

"No, you should have been listening when I taught you all the recording sales st-"

"Devin, I will wring your throat." I say sternly.

"Gold means that you sold 500,000 copies." He concludes with a proud smile.

I scream at the top of my lungs. There was no way. One of my tracks just sold 500,000 copies, and that's just the single?

"How were the sales for the first week?" I ask Devin, now fascinated by these statistics.

"Amazing for an artist just starting out, 25,000 sold. But the number is rising rapidly. I'm very proud of you." He finishes.

"Thank you." I say, my excitement simmering down.

"What's wrong?" Devin asks.

"Well, I guess I went Gold cause Mila was on it right? Her fan base is huge." I fold my arms.

Devin unfolds them. "Yes but now her fans are your fans. It was just what you wanted, more exposure." He concludes.

"Gold is pretty amazing, I hope the album sales keep going up." I bite my bottom lip in thought. "But Gold is amazing. I'm blown away."

"Well, I didn't expect anything less, so." Devin smiles big and I noticed how much I've missed his company these past few weeks. The white v neck T-shirt he's wearing hugs his biceps and hang off his torso above his jeans pants. His skin looks like honey and his hair has those waves that never seem to disappear. I redirect my eyes from his and look at my painted toe nails.

"I heard you and Mila are best friends now by the way." He breaks the silence that for a moment almost seems awkward. I force myself not to make anything of the burning chemistry, I dismiss it well. I want to tell him that I miss him but I don't. I don't tell him because he deserves someone who isn't interested in someone else. I love Trev, other boys would have to literally die in my memory.

I chuckle and shake my head.

"Mhm, best friends after hanging out for one night in LA." I roll my eyes.

"You know these tabloids run with anything interesting they have." He shrugs and walks over to my couch then slams down on it, relaxed. Head laid back on the top of the sofa, eyes closed, legs open.

"Tired?" I question sympathetic.

"Yea, a little. Senior year is pretty hard. No one warned me." He mumbles as he pouts with his eyes still shut, he breathes deeply.

"Almost done though. I know you been working hard cause I ain't seen you in weeks." I sit on the couch next to him and lay down on my side. I make sure my feet aren't too close to his legs but he picks up my legs anyway and places them in his lap. Not even in a flirting way, just being Devin.

"Almost." He says hopeful.

"You miss me or something?"He questions. Of course now his eyes are open and staring at me waiting for a response.

I decide not to lie to him because even though I don't want any kind of romantic relationship with Devin, I would never want to lose my friend.

"Course I miss your annoying ass helping me out all the time. It's been weird without you but I'm getting along." I adjust in the chair. He smiles as if that's all he wanted to hear and then his smile disappears as his eyes close again.

"What else is new? Aside from school." I ask.

"Well the alphas crossed. Kelly made it in so we had a big party for her and the others." Devin says excited.

"Wow, go Kelly! She wanted that shit so bad. I wish she told me, I would have tried to come support her probate." I look up at the ceiling slightly sad. I knew she probably wanted me there. She worked so hard to be in that sorority.

"You couldn't make it, I think you had that radio interview that same day. But she's excited, she looks nice in her burgundy." Devin chucked and I smile big imagining Kelly in the line of new initiates of the alpha sorority. I have to call and congratulate her later, maybe even send her a little present.

"I've been helping the pledges since they started and I've become close with a few of them, so it was good seeing them cross." He comments.

"How close?" I joke with my eyes wide, ready for gossip.

"Well there's one named Abra. She's the only black sister that made it through. We've gone on a coupe dates already. She's chill." He shrugs.

I don't feel my mouth drop open but I feel my chest drop a few stories. I look at my freshly done nails and press my lips together. Jealousy eats at me like a mice eating at cheese.

"Aww, that's nice. Good for you."'I say as honestly as I can. But it comes out skewed and maybe even a little monotone. I don't understand why I haven't thought of Devin being with another girl. Why have I never seen that as a possibility? Better yet, why am I feeling this way when I dismissed any feelings for him and pushed him away countless times.

Abra.

I want to roll my eyes but he is watching. What kinda name is that?

"Someone's really into freshmen." I tease and he chuckles.

"She's actually a junior." He finishes.

Ahh she's older than me. Abra.

Fuck Abra the junior.

"Oh." I say to Devin.

"Yea, PoliSci major. She wants to be a lawyer." He concludes.

I didn't ask. I want to stab him with those very words. I nod my head.

Fuck Abra the PoliSci major, lawyer wanna be.

"So you like her? How serious is it?" I ask.

"Not serious, we went out twice." Devin says.

"Where?" I ask faster than I'd like. Was it to the same French restaurant him and I went to? Did he treat all his girls the same way? Why was I growing so much hate towards Devin? Why was I growing so much hate towards this girl who I've never even met or seen. He says he's busy and I haven't seen him for literally weeks and it's most likely because this new girl is all up in the picture. Taking my well trained puppy away from me.

"Well she likes Mexican food so we went to that Mexican restaurant on Main Street both times." He laughs and shakes his head like he can't believe it.

"And she ordered the exact same thing. Then when it came she danced like a little kid, so happy. You would think it was her favorite meal ever." He rubs his head, his lips turned up at the side.

"That's great, Devin. I'm happy for you." I try to be honest again.

"Yea, thank you. She's great." He ends.

A few moments pass as I think about killing her and he thinks about kissing her. Immediately I feel the need to write a poem.

"Thanks for leaving groceries for me. I would of starved. I'll get you that money back." I comment.

"Nah, no problem. You never shop so I know you would sit here and starve. Don't get me the money back, Chan. Don't do that." He sounds serious.

I want to take my feet out of his lap, I want to move as far away from him as possible. But I don't want him to suspect something's up.

"You never let me pay you back." I complain.

"You are paying me, technically." He shrugs.

"How?" I ask confused.

"The royalties for Nothing Without You, I've been making good money just for being involved in it." He chuckles.

I almost forgot that Devin wrote and played the entire piano piece and helped Mac with production. He was probably profiting about 3% for every couple sales it makes and Nothing Without You was top 10 for at least 3 weeks.

He's been profiting from my song and spending it on Abra at Mexican restaurants. I move my legs off his lap. That makes him raise an eyebrow.

"Gotta pee." I explain.

I get up and walk quickly to the bathroom then shut the door. It slams harder than I imagine I push it. I take out my phone from the pocket of my sweats and open up instagram. Quickly I go to Kelly's page and glance through her recent photos for the only black girl to cross in the sorority.

"Please tell me you tagged them all." I mumble under my breath.

I click on the picture and tags for all the girls come up. I click on the tag connected to a thin dark skin girl with curly natural hair and a burgundy sweater with the sorority letters on.

Her username reads CrownedMelanin, I am taken to her public page. Her bio reads

I roll my eyes. Who does she think she is? I thought Devin would go for someone a little less vulgar. Who says bitch in their bio? I scroll through her pictures and click on the one with her in a bright pink dress with a crown on her head, surrounded by other girls all dressed in white. She holds up two big balloons, one with the number two and one with the number one. '21'. Legal little bitch.

Her hair is curled and pinned up into a messy bun, her make up is well done, she is slightly stunning and it makes my fist clench. Almond shaped eyes, big lips but a small mouth, her face looks heart shaped and her chest is bigger than her size.

"You alright?" I hear Devin's voice from the living room and notice that I am sitting on the closed toilet seat, staring at this new girl who literally appeared out of nowhere.

"Yea. Be there in a sec." I respond.

I scroll to a different picture of her staring through a window with her finger to her chin, as if she is thinking. The caption reads; just want a man to build up.

I scroll to a more recent picture with her on the swing, wearing a D'tello hat and laughing. The caption reads "You make me so happy".

I feel the jealousy again, rising up through me. I flush the toilet, though nothing is in there and wash my hands. When I get back outside, Devin is texting on his phone, I take my seat next to him and try to peak at the conversation.

Of course it reads Abra at the top.

"I think i'm going to head to bed early. I need as much sleep as I can get these days." I say standing up.

"Kicking me out already?" Devin looks up from his phone.

"Yeaaaa... sorry." I yawn.

"So tired." I conclude. "Don't feel bad or anythin-"

"Nah, I have to go see this lady anyway." He motions to his phone.

He stands to his feet and gives me a hug.

"I'll come see you again soon. Text me if you need anything." He says

"Okay." I agree.

"Okay. Let me know when Flex and your Mom's wedding is." He chuckles.

I give a small smile and close the door as he leaves.

Fuck Abra.

__________________________________

I am livid

What kind of fucking name is that?

And why are her tits so big? Is that what you want?

Someone with a boob job

Is that what you want, huh?

She's pretty but I'm prettier right?

She has a nice body but mine is nicer

I'm more talented, i'm smarter

I'm better

I'm better

Tell me I'm better.

She looks like the type of girl who will cheat on you

If you let her

She looks like the type to have a type

And I don't think her type is nice guys

What kind of name is that?

Lets be honest.

She makes you smile

I make you laugh

She makes you spend money

I make you earn it

And what the fuck kind of name is Abra?

I rip the poem out of my poem book and throw it in the trash. I shake my head at myself.

"Chanel, don't be silly." I bite on my pencil.