I wrap my arm around Trisha's and we both sashay daintily over to the fake pop star, standing by some other Hollywood socialites. They part as Mila turns towards us, clearly caught off guard. Her face shows a mixture of slight fear but even more confusion.

I stare her up and down, a pleasant smile on my face, something between petty and evil.

"I heard you made me." I say as we are only inches a part.

One of the socialites step beside Mila. Her hair is dark brown and she is white, skinny and tall. I know her from somewhere but my brain will not allow me to remember where at the moment. I ignore her and wait for Mila to respond. I can feel the heat rising into my face, I want to punch her but I know the press will pick this up in a second.

"I-I..." She stammers.

"No words now? You were real talkative the other night." Trisha laughs, her words are audible over the sound of the music but only so that Mila and the people within a few inches of her can hear.

By now, the entire party is staring in our direction.

Mila steps back as Trisha got a little close.

"I just want to know exactly how you made me." I laugh casually to throw the people looking at us off. They didn't know if our beef was true or not, they might not even have heard about it. No need to give them something to talk about.

"I did make you, if we're being honest. But okay, if you're going to gang up on me-"

"How did you make me sweetie?" I smile and step closer to her.

She looks pissed but she attempts to conceal it.

"And no one is ganging up on you." I end.

"The song went Gold because of me." Mila rolls her eyes and folds her arms like a spoiled brat.

"The song went Gold because it was a great song, produced and mastered by great people. And even before the song went Gold, I was creating my own fan base, Pop Off freestyle was already on the charts for literally months, do explain how you made me." I tilt my head to the side and wait.

"If we're gonna be real here, you only did a song with my girl because she is the most poppin and newest artist in the game. Her records are getting plays, you saw an opportunity, which is fine that's how this business works." Trisha starts.

"No, I got on the song because I was a fan and -" Mila begins.

"Nah-nah. Let me finish and don't stand here and fucking lie to us. You got on the track cause Chanel is the right amount of poppin. Not too famous to completely overshadow you and not too low to embarrass you. You saw an op-"

"Whatever, this makes no sense."

Trisha's hand goes up to Mila's face, ending her words.

"Let me finish." Trisha laughs that evil laugh that she does.

"You saw an opportunity and took it. So don't go telling the Media how you made her when you can't even make yourself." Trisha ends.

"It's just a slap in the face because I actually tried to get to know you and not judge you off of what you showed me and just because I won the award you start acting crazy." I smooth out. I could feel the tension in the room building.

"I don't think it's fair that you're both ganging up on her like this." The tall white girl says.

"I don't know you, so I won't be addressing you." I say firmly, my eyes not leaving Mila's.

"As I was saying, I took some time out to know you and you made me regret even welcoming you so you want war Mila, you got war." I mumble the last few lines but make sure Mila hears it.

"Is that a threat?" She asks in her squeaky annoying voice.

Trisha throws her head back in laughter, I chuckle.

"Let's go." Trisha states as we turn around and walk away from Mila. Trish waves D'tello down and he comes over.

"Everything okay?" He asks.

"Yea, we're about to head out. We just wanted to say bye." I answer.

"Well, I have two blunts in my pocket if y'all feel like smoking." He shrugs.

Trisha's eyes light up immediately and I grunt. I haven't smoked since Bizzy but I still remember the light and relaxing feeling. Maybe it wouldn't hurt right now. I needed to relax and think for myself. I needed to do it fast before I start thinking about what happens when this story comes to light. I know they're going to make it seem so much worse than it is.

Trisha looks to me eager.

"Alright, lets go back to my place. We can light up there." I answer.

"Eep!" Trisha sings.

We call Remus back and in less than ten minutes he calls back saying that he is outside. D'tello says goodbye to a few people and him and his friend, Ryan head back to the house with us.

_____________________________

The night is quiet and my backyard has people in it for the first time. They sit in the lawn chairs to the side of the pool. The air is mixed with a fresh scent of cut grass paired with chlorine, but nothing over bearing. The smell of leaves interrupt.

I lay back in the lawn chair and the dark night sky has a few white spots scattered throughout it. I can't remember the last time I've seen stars like this. In Brownsville, the stars might as well have been invisible or nonexistent.

I probably wouldn't even know there were stars if it wasn't for books and TV. Maybe they were just hiding, taking shelter somewhere from the big dark sky.

I wonder if the stars get intimidated and feel insignificant...

Wondering sometimes if their small brightness can't even compare to this vast mass of black pouring out around them. I wonder sometimes if the stars know they're beautiful or if they chase the beauty of the darkness, hoping to one day fit in and not be as illuminating. How embarrassing to glow so brightly while we are trying to achieve a type of uniform.

Maybe that is why they become dull and burn out eventually.

Maybe we see it as them dying but they see it as finally living.

Maybe just like them, we don't realize that our differences are what makes us beautifully different.

Maybe they see flaw and we see awe.

Maybe we are insecure stars, changing ourselves to match those around us.

Maybe just like them, we can't see the beauty only the uniformity that surrounds us.

Maybe they look down at a see of white, skinny, blondes with puppies and pray that the dark curvy dots with course hair don't become the uniformity of earth itself.

Maybe the entire universe is beautiful but maybe that beauty lies in distinction.

A cough disrupts my thoughts. The weed is strong. I've zoned out into my own world and my tongue feels heavy when I speak, so I don't talk.

"She good?" I hear D'tello ask.

His voice is distant but I know he is close by, I can feel his warmth.

Trisha chuckles and she sounds farther. I turn my head to smile.

"She good." Trisha says holding the pull in her lungs. She lets it out into a tunnel of smoke, right in D'tello's face.

He smiles something charming and lights the other extendo.

My mind seems to be miles away but somehow I am very present and fully aware of all that is going on. My body is warm and my breathing is slow.

In.

Out.

In.

D'tello passes me the long and perfectly rolled blunt. I look at it oddly. It seems to stretch for kilometers.

In.

Out.

I put it to my mouth and pull lightly. I remove my lips and inhale.

In.

Cough.

"Easy." He says rubbing my arm.

"How did this fit in your pocket?" Trisha asks.

"I designed these pants to hold extendos, the pockets go all the way down to the knees." D'tello winks at Trisha, who's face appears to be in complete awe.

Ryan speaks and I jump. I forgot he was there.

He looks Native Indian. His hair is a long pony tail behind him, as black as the night itself.

"I really liked Nothing Without You. I know that might be kind of pussy to say." He finishes.

I close my eyes and laugh, but the sound doesn't come out. He chuckles for me, he sees my effort. I turn my head and stare at him now. He lays in the lawn chair right next to me, leaning back, head staring up at the sky. I pass the extendo and he inhales much more than I could have handled. He only pulls once, then he passes it to Trisha. My mind has gathered that we are in a circle.

D'tello on my right, Ryan on my left, Trisha on Ryan's left, D'tello on Trisha's left. It only took me 20 minutes or so. This isn't how we started. I realize I am still staring at Ryan. He blows the smoke into the air. Why do I always end up smoking with a guy wearing a pony tail.

"Who was the last verse about?" Ryan asks.

I almost forgot that question had made it on so many radio stations that i'm afraid to answer and ruin the suspense. I contemplate telling him something so personal even though I have never met him before, a day in my life. He's friends with D'tello and I trust D'tello whole heartedley but how close were he and D'tello? I decide to make up a story.

"My Dad is in jail, it's kind of about him." I answer.

"Oh damn, sorry. What's he in for?" Ryan asks.

"Nothing insane, trying to support his family." I shrug. My words feel slow and my pauses feel long. Ryan clears his throat.

"What do you do? Are you a socialite?" I question.

Ryan chuckles.

"Nah, my family is famous." He rubs his eyes. D'tello passes me the blunt, him and Trisha are lost in their own conversation about fabrics.

"Famous for what?" I ask, interested.

"My brother is a basketball player, James Nichols." He scratches his head as though he is already uncomfortable, he doesn't like talking about it, I can tell.

"James Nichols, from 'Life with The Nicks?'" I ask sitting up slowly in my chair. Life with The Nicks is a reality show on E! about the famous family of five. James, the all star basketball player and older son, Shauna the sexy wife of Montier Nichols a big time football coach, rebel teen Ashani Nichols who is persuing music and finally little Ryno who in the one episode I saw a very long time ago was running around live TV completely naked.

"Oh my God." I say to myself. Ryan's face looks uneasy as my mind weaves around who I was sitting next to.

"Are you Ryno Nichols? The little boy who used to run around on TV naked, looking for his firetruck?" I squeak.

D'tello chuckles and begins coughing on the weed.

"No way!" Trisha screams, interupting her conversation with D.

Ryan shakes his head seeming to regret saying anything.

"First of all, that was ONE EPISODE, I wasn't naked on every episode. Second that was like ten years ago-"

"Wooooooooooow." Trish and I sing together.

"I'm done. We're not talking about this." Ryan fans off.

"You've really grown up, Ryno." I say taking a pull of the extendo just passed to me.

He laughs and I begin laughing to myself, I begin laughing too hard at the entire situation. I laugh so hard I begin coughing.

"See you deserve that." Ryan says, taking the blunt from me and putting it to his lips. He takes a pull then sits up from his chair and begins tapping my back when the coughing doesn't stop.

I calm down and wipe my eyes that had begun to water.

I was sitting next to fucking Ryno Nichols, the little boy who used to run around naked.

"You iight?" He asks.

"I've seen your ass." I say finally.

He shakes his head calmly. "You not funny."

"Does it still look like that?" I ask.

"I can show you." Ryan retorts.

I go into another laughing fit and realize that I probably shouldn't take another pull of the weed.

"Your family has a lot of money then,huh?" I ask nosy.

"Yea, I guess." He responds.

"You guess?" I exclaim. "Niggas in Brownsville think $20 is a lot of money, so I guess we comin from somewhere different."

"People at the party we just came from are way more rich than me and my family. None of that's important though. They all boring as fuck." Ryan leans forward so his elbows rest on his knees.

"The people at the party are way more rich than I am, I don't know why I got invited." I grimace.

"Yaya invites anyone relevant. You are relevant, until you're not. Enjoy it. It's fake out here." He warns.

"Thanks, never thought I'd be gettin some advice from Ryno." I stick my tongue at him and stop when I notice he really hated that name.

"So what do you like to do Ryan?" I question and correct myself. He seems a little more at ease.

"Working on street wear with D right now. Funding some of the ideas and drawing out some samples." D'tello and Trisha head back inside holding hands and leave Ryan and myself out here with one of the blunts still burning between us. I feel like we have been smoking it for decades and it still isn't done.

Ryan passes the blunt to me and I take a pull and watch him talk.

"Maybe if you like one of my designs you can wear it while shopping or something, I think that would be really dope." He licks his lips and I look away. Weed makes me horny, I get it and now I know. I clamp my thighs together and watch the water ripple.

"Yea, that would be cool. I support D and you seem chill so you got a supporter." I say honestly.

"Maybe you can come to the Cali store one day and check them out." Ryan says taking his pull.

I nod and run my fingers through my hair.

He hands me the blunt after blowing the smoke to the side and I look at it, attempting to analyze how high I am.

"You look lit." He laughs.

I can feel my eyes only half open and his eyes are glossed over. I laugh and lean back, my head resting on the chair, my eyes back on the stars.

"You're very beautiful." He sort of mumbles.

I close my eyes.

"Thank you." I respond. I can feel the smile on my lips. I enjoy compliments, but then my mind begins to roam. There is no doubt in my mind that Ryan is cute. He was amazingly attractive. Nice body build, cute face. I didn't trust myself.

"Any Hollywood guys try to come on to you yet?" He asks.

"Nah." I answer too quickly. "Not famous enough." I joke.

"You're very famous right now." He laughs. "What happened with Mila at the party? "

"She talked a lot of shit on TMZ and I wanted to see what her problem was." I shake my head.

"Yea, I've had my fair share of her." Ryan laughs. My eyes open, suddenly interested.

"What do you mean?" I question.

"Well me and her were dating last year, secretly. Of course don't tell anyone this." He admits. I nod my head agreeing. Suddenly, I feel bad about lying about the song lyrics.

"She's a very jealous and insecure person. It wasn't working." He finished.

"That's all I get? The quick story?" I ask not amused.

D'tello's shadow is at my side door.

"Come on Ryan. We gotta head back to the party." D' tello says easy going.

"Aww, it was just getting good." I mumble. Ryan laughs and stands to his feet. He brushes the weed ash off his pants. I get up with him and walk them out.

"Stop by the store." Ryan says again. He gives me a look that could be mistaken for nothing else but flirting.

"No doubt." I say.

"Yea, stop by before I leave on Tuesday." D'tello says. "Maybe you can pick a few items from the new collection."

I nod.

"Okay, I'll definitely do that." I give D'tello a warm hug and hug Ryan briefly and meaningless. He likes me, no reason to lead him on.

They leave back to the party and I close the door behind them.

"Trishhh!" I yell into the empty house.

"Yea?" I hear from upstairs.

I walk up cautiously as the stairs whirl and my current state of drug abuse overwhelms my senses. Trish is laid out on her bed in the guest room.

I join her and flop down.

"You kissed him?" I ask weakly.

"Mmhm." She laughs.

"What else?" I question, hearing more in that laugh.

"Nothing yet girl, but I plan on it." She chuckles.

"Nasty." I smile into the sheets.

As it falls silent we both begin to fall asleep. A few minutes of darkness pass before I wake up to a faint vibration on the bed. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep but it feels like the phone is right under my stomach.

I wearily use my hands to search for it. I pull up Trisha's phone.

I poke her to wake up a few times and then glance at the number.

"Flex?" I say to myself.

I slide my finger across the bottom to answer.

"Hello." I say weary.

"Trisha, where is Chanel?" Flex questions.

"This is Chanel." I respond. "What's up?"

"Chanel." Flex sounds out of breath, he breathes out a sigh that sounds like a nervous laugh.

"What? What is it?" I ask impatient.

"Trevon is getting out tomorrow." Flex says.