you are the last thing I think of before bed and the first thing I think of when I wake up. your smile can light up my life your laugh can melt me your touch reminds me that the world is good and pure even when im not. your hug provides me the comfort the blanket I've had since I was two no longer can. you is the essence of my being, able to infiltrate any defence I have. side effect: unconditional love. you are my favourite antidepressant, when youre around

when youre not your words don't reach me they become the screen that keeps me up at night even when I have tears of exhaustion coming out of my eyes. it is my phone that lights up my day not you. you try to turn me into a morning person and I don't want to be, I am TIRED. your comforting hug that keeps me going becomes the pillow I cry into when I see 'last active: 2 hours ago'. but youre busy I get it you must have a good reason I won't bother you. But then I leave to go to the bathroom and come back to 'bitch where have you been?' I am scared to talk to you when youre not with me because the only time you take me seriously is when I cry. your smile is hidden in the pictures you won't send and tears are hidden in the pictures that I do. because you ask for them. because I do everything you ask because you have all the power over me and I am addicted. side effect: insomnia, inadequacy, crying.

I am addicted to the kisses that send sparks through me. to the feeling of loving and being loved. to the little wink that lets me know you miss me when the greatest distance between us is 5 desks. to the feeling of being wanted when I can't want myself. to the moments of pure joy when we cuddle and I can match my breathing to yours when I let you sleep on my lap - one of the most intimate moments I've ever had though youve never returned the favour. In the backseat of you car in the teacher parking lot in the middle of the day. romantic.

and at the end of the night, when another day has gone by without you when my life is dark and im getting bad again, I sink further in. you tell me you love me. I need you now more than ever. im hooked.