You know what I love the most about hospitals?

They give you a break from the outside world and you don't have to interact with other people. You get to sleep all day without having to worry about school and lastly you don't have to take care of yourself because they do it for you. When I woke up the first thing I noticed was my phone charging beside me, then as I sat up I noticed that my dad wasn't here..... June was

"June?" I say surprised

She sits up, "Hey"

I frown, "Your dad probably figured that you'd wanna speak with the doctor alone..... but he asked me to come"

Is it weird that I don't mind her being here?

I sit back, "Don't you have school?"

"Yeah... but I care about you more"

I nod slowly, "C I'm sorry for believing what Eliza said" She suddenly says

"I just don't understand why you'd think that I'd ever say something about you and how you look....."

"It's just, you were becoming so close with Zoe and Sienna...- which believe me I know isn't a good excuse. But I did occasionally have those thoughts that maybe you liked them a little more, so when Eliza told me that... I sort of just went away" She says the last part quietly

"I was getting closer with them but that doesn't change the fact that I've been close with you for longer J" I say softly

We actually became friends in kindergarten, then our moms realised that we were both Spanish and that's what made them become friends, plus the fact that they like the same things. The only difference is that Junes mom is way more nicer than mine and I absolutely love her to death.... Not that I don't love my own

She half smiles, "I know that now"

"Good"

"So.... When did you relapse?"

"Probably two months before we stopped talking"

She raises her eyebrows before scoffing, "So a year ago?"

I nod as the door opens and doctor Gomez walks in, "How do you feel Carmen?"

I tuck a hair behind my ear, "Like the total opposite of dizzy" I say amused

He smiles, "That's good to hear"

He then puts down his clipboard, "I'd like to ask a couple of questions if that's ok with you"

I look back at June and she nods, I sigh. "Yeah sure ok"

"How much time would you say you spend exercising?"

"It kind of depends"

"On what?"

"How much I've eaten that day" I reply

He narrows his eyes, "Would you say that you push yourself more if you've eaten more than one meal?"

I shrug one shoulder. "Yeah, or if I feel like shit that day"

Dr Gomez sits up, "What's you caloric intake?"

"Six hundred, eight hundred max"

June narrows her eyes as he scribbles something down onto the clipboard, "I had the chance to speak with both of your parents this morning"

"About what?"

"They've been looking into a few eating disorder facilities-

I scoff, "What?"

"Carmen I understand that this isn't what you want to hear-

"Yeah, it's not" I say annoyed

"But. You are one of the lucky few who have been given the chance to fix things before it's too late"

"But I'm fine now"

"Carmen you passed out" June points out, I ignore her comment

Dr Gomez leans forward, "Look I get how angry you are, but how long until you reach your breaking point and start to binge? A lot of anorexia patients end up with bulimia after some time-

"I don't force my food back up, there's no point"

"Perhaps this is something I should let you discuss with your parents" He replies before getting up

I roll my eyes as the door shuts behind him

"C... this is a chance for you to get better" June says softly

"I'm not going to a recovery programme" I say quietly

"Hey nobody said you had to..... but at least think about it"

I look back at her, "Because none of us want you to die from this"

-

"Mommy says you have to get up"

"Tell her I'm tired" I mumble into the pillow

"She says that you still have to get up"

"Hmm"

"Carter"

I sigh, "Yes?"

"What's wrong with Carmen" Grace frowns

I finally lift up my head, "She's gonna be ok.... She was just a little tired yesterday" I say softly

"Well your her frog, your supposed to kiss her and make her feel better" She replies

Someone's been watching too many Disney movies

"It doesn't work like that" I say amused

"Why not?"

I sigh, "Sometimes a kiss can't solve everything"

"Yes it can, it worked for Snow White"

I chuckle, "I think you've been watching too many fairytales Gracie"

"Carmen says that I'm a princess so I should"

I half smile, "I'm sure she did"

-

"Stop, Enzo said I wasn't even supposed to tell you" Lola scoffs

"Well then you should've listened to him" I reply as we walk down the hallway

"Adri don't do it-

I open the door to the girls bathroom and my sister groans before following me in. There stands Regina George in front of the bathroom mirror, applying a layer of mascara.

"I know I'm pretty but you don't need to stare" Eliza says amused

"Sorry your non existent ass had us confused for a second"

How can you have no ass, but go after someone who actually has one..... it's not mathing.

Eliza smiles at me sarcastically, "How can I assist you little Rodriguez?"

"Just wondering, does it make you feel good? Threatening other people just so you can get your way?" I scoff

"I'd like to say that I know what your talking about.... But I don't"

I slap her across the face and she scoffs with shock, Lola widens her eyes. "Think again, my sisters in hospital because of you puta"

She holds her cheek as she looks back at me, "What?-

"When are you going to realise that Carter doesn't love you?"

"I'm the wrong person to be telling this too, he doesn't love your sister and all she does is just throw herself at him-

I push her up against the wall and Lola scoffs, "Adri she gets it-

"You had a lot to say to Carmen but your all quiet now" Eliza looks the other way as I look right at her

"Let go of me" She whispers

I narrow my eyes. "No, a second ago you couldn't stop running that shit talking mouth but now that I have you pinned against the wall your quiet"

"Adriana-

"What was it you called her? Bulimic whore?"

"Get the fuck off of me-

I tut, "Oh no I remember now, anorexic Rodriguez"

"I wasn't actually gonna post anything! I didn't think she would take it literal"

"Well she did and she passed out last night so well done Eliza"

I don't know where she gets all this confidence from but it's about time this bitch got humbled.

She closes her eyes before sniffing, "Just let go of me"

"And if you think Carter doesn't know them your deluded" I let go of her shirt and she opens her eyes which are now puffy

"Puta loca-.... Let's go Lola" I say seriously

She looks back at Eliza -who is currently wiping her eyes- before following me out of the bathroom. "What if she tells Cadell?"

I zip up my hoodie, "She won't, she has too much pride"

-

When I turned on my phone I wasn't surprised to see that I had quite a few messages. I got discharged from the hospital at around 1pm, dad and I dropped June home on our way back.

No text from Carter

I reply to Santi's text first out of all of them, "Did you fix things with June?" Dad fills the silence

I nod as he stops in front of a traffic light, "Dr Gomez told me you had a conversation with him this morning" He then says

I turn off my phone before looking out the window, "I did"

"He says that you seemed a little bit annoyed"

I look back at my dad, "I'm not going to a facility"

"Mi hija we just want you to get better" He says softly

I have my reasons for not wanting to go, I'd just rather not discuss them. I look down at my hands, "I know dad.... But I just can't"

He sighs before focusing on driving again

~*~

"Hi" I say amused as my best friends pull me into a warm crushing hug, we end up falling back onto my bed

"Are you ok? Have you had anything today?-

"Yes and yes" I reply to Sienna

"I'm going to fucking kill Eliza" She says annoyed

"I knew there was a reason why you looked so different when we came back to school...... my powers are real" Zoe scoffs

I lie down, "Whatever helps you sleep at night Zo"

"So what did the doctors say?" Sienna asks quietly

I rub my forehead before sighing, "They say I have anorexia"

"Seriously?" Zoe says surprised

I nod, "My parents wants me to go to one of those recovery programmes.... I told them no"

"Don't you wanna get better?" She frowns

"That's exactly what I said" My brother says as he comes in

He lies down on his front and Sienna wraps her arms around him, "Can you guys do that shit somewhere else?" I say with disgust

"Nope, we're talking about you" She replies

Look I get it she's dating my brother, but looking at those two act all lovey is sickening... especially since he used to tease her all the time.

"Ok well then can you at least stop grabbing up her ass?" I say to Enzo

"I'm good"

I think I'm gonna throw up, "Have you spoken to Carter?" Zoe asks me

"Nope"

"He wasn't in school today"

"How come?"

She shrugs, "He cares about you C... talk to him" My brother says softly

I sigh before laying down, "I will"

Will I?

-

I hear the sound of a knock as I scroll through my phone, "Yeah?"

I sit up as my sisters open my bedroom door, "Hey" Adri says

I smile, "Hey what's up"

They both look at each other and I narrow my eyes knowingly, "You guys don't need to tread on egg shells around me.... I'm still your big sister"

Eventually they sit on each side of my bed and I sit back against the headboard, "What's going on you both look like you have a lot to say" I say amused

"I just-.... I wanted to say sorry again" Adriana admits

I frown, "For what"

"Everything I've ever said" She says quietly

My face softens, "Adri it's not your fault"

"Yeah but you can't honestly tell me that if I never said those things you'd still feel this way about yourself"

Alright she may have a point

I sigh, "Ok look. Yes I hated it when you and Enzo would make those comments about me-

"See?-

"But, that doesn't mean that this whole thing is your fault. You have to remember that this is mostly to do with my mind and also may be because of Isabella"

She bites the inside of her cheek, "So don't for a second think that this is on you" I say knowingly, Adri eventually nods

I then look at my youngest sister, "You as well"

"Yeah but I knew, I have no excuse"

Adriana frowns, "Yeah.... How did you exactly? And for how long?"

"It was when I started sixth grade"

I frown, "I stole Carmens phone because I was mad at her that day, but then when she apologised I decided to put it back. So I went over to her nightstand and opened the draw, that's when I saw the boxes of laxatives"

I narrow my eyes because I remember that time period, I was fourteen at the time and she was eleven. I remember how I used to stock up on them, "I didn't really know what they were for, I just thought they were some type of medicine. So then one day I asked my teacher why someone would buy so many of them"

"What'd she say?" Adri asks

"She said that they relieved constipation and that the only reason someone would stock up on them is to look thinner.... That's when I started watching you" Lola admits

"The exercise, the skipping meals.... You knew everything?" Adri scoffs, she nods

I'm not really surprised, our sister is an observant person. "I don't want us to dwell on the past" I finally say

They both look back at me, "I want you guys to promise me that you won't look at me any different than you did days ago. I'm not gonna crack, I'm still the same"

"We promise"

I smile a little, "Good"

"Food!" Santi shouts from downstairs

I sigh as my sisters get up, "Here we go" I mutter

So obviously now that the cats out of the bag I can't get away with three bites of food. Tonight's a boring night, steak, potatoes and green beans on the side. And whether my family like to admit it or not, they're watching my plate..... some more than others

"Why do you do that?" Matty asks me

I shrug a little, "Peace of mind"

"Does this mean I don't get to have your leftovers anymore?"

"That's exactly what it means" Mom clarifies

"So did Dr Gomez speak with you?" Daniel asks as I cut through my stake

Not this again

"He did"

"And?...."

"I'm not going" I reply

Adriana frowns as she puts her glass of coke down, "Why not?"

I chew on a green bean, "I don't want to"

Mom decides to join in on the conversation, "Your father and I found a few recovery programmes, if you'd just come with us to visit-

"Why do we have to talk about it now"

"When would you rather talk about it?" Daniel asks

I don't reply, "So your ok with dying?" Santi narrows his eyes

"I'm not dying-

Matty gets up and I frown, "Your so selfish Carmen" He mumbles before walking off

Ok that hurt... and it makes me feel a little bad. I guess I didn't realise how much this would affect my siblings too, "He doesn't like seeing you like this.... None of us do" Dad says softly

I stare down at my plate, "We don't want you to live a miserable life C" Santiago says

"Where is this place" I ask quietly

"About an hour away" Dad replies

"And when would I have to go"

"Dr Gomez recommends some time this week" Mom says

Oh lovely, so soon

My siblings look back at me expectantly, "Try it out first, and if you don't like it after that then we'll try something else"

I sigh, "If I say yes can I not finish my food"

"No"

Worth a try

😭