•••

You know, it's kind of like I skipped ten chapters because my family are certainly acting like a divorced one. At first I thought it was all in my head but the way dinner turned out to be just proved my point, "A toast"

"Not everyone's here" Dad interrupts

"Well I don't give a shit, we're all hungry. So like I said, a toast" Aunt Camila repeats as she raises her glass in the air

Santi, Lola and Matty raise their glasses. "To Carmen Elizabeth Rodriguez, for making it this fucking far"

"Cheers" My siblings say

I smile, "Thanks"

"So Carmen, I hear you were a menace at rehab" Santiago says

"I wouldn't call myself a menace-

"Oh trust me menace is an understatement, she was always getting into trouble by Serenity and helping the younger ones sneak out" Camila snorts

"So I heard" Dad tuts

Mom looks back as the front door closes, "What time do you call this?" She scoffs

"I was picking up Adri-.... C?" Daniel says surprised

"Hey" I say amused

"Where's Enzo?" I then ask

He wraps his arms around my neck before giving me a kiss on the head and I shrug my shoulders with a smile, "God only knows, probably on campus"

"Oh my god" Adriana scoffs before hugging me excitedly

"Where exactly have you been?" Lola frowns as they sit down

"That's a good question, ask Adri" Daniel replies

She simply flips her hair back before taking a plate from dad, Camila snorts knowingly before sipping some wine, "Sex addict" She hums under her breath

"Adriana" Dad says seriously

"What?" She scoffs as she zips up her hoodie

"Is it necessary for you to have sex with every guy that looks good?" Mom questions

Ok but at least the drama has nothing to do with me for once

"That's exactly what I said" Santi agrees

"Nuh uh, none of you can judge me because I know for a fact that you all have a body count over five, minus Lola" She says annoyed

I tut, "Debatable"

"See? Not so hard"

"We get it Mom, you love Carmen now but we know that your efforts are only because of your guilt"

Camila sips on her wine with amusement, yeah she doesn't like mom either. Apparently they actually got into an argument on her wedding day but Cami kept her cool for dad. "Excuse me?"

Dad sighs, "There's nobody to blame Adri"

"Yes there is, C tell him"

I pour myself a glass of vodka, "I mean it was in the past-

She waves me off, "Mom was definitely to blame for her anorexia, did you know that she was giving Carmen smaller plates of food compared to all of us when she was nine? She said it was to help her" Adri scoffs

Camila frowns, "What?"

Dad gives mom a look, "Isabella"

She doesn't say anything and aunt Camila scoffs, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Still my mother doesn't reply

"You fed her less because you thought she was fat?"

"Guys we really don't need to fight about this-

"I apologised to Carmen already" Mom finally says

"Your insane!-

"I'm not doing this today, Roberto sort your sister out" Mom gets up and us kids watch as she walks out the dining room

"She could've gotten depressed because of you" Camila follows her out and dad eventually gets up too

"Ok we're actually doing this" I murmur before downing my shot

"How about that cake?" Santiago suggests with amusement

I gesture with my hands, "Bring it in"

The adults can deal with this shit on their own

-

"So how many friends did you make?"

"Quite a lot actually, working at aunt Camila's cafe was so fun"

"Your lucky you got to miss school" Lola replies

I shrug, "Yeah but it's pretty weird now because I'm coming back halfway through senior year"

Adri lies down, "Don't worry you've missed nothing"

Lola and Santi give each other a look and I narrow my eyes, "Don't think I didn't miss that look"

"No I'm sure you'd rather not hear about it" My brother waves me off

I lay against the headboard of my bed, "Try me"

"It's pretty much nothing, it's just Carter... he's kind of different now"

I nod slowly, "Ok"

Santi narrows his eyes, "Just ok?"

"What else am I supposed to say"

"I mean it's no secret that you two just stopped talking" Adriana replies

"I'm not gonna avoid school just because of Carter" I say amused

"I know but I just think you should know that he's not the same...."

I shrug, "Like I said, ok"

My bedroom door opens, "I'm out"

Santi snorts, "Everything ok?"

"No your mothers a bitch. Carmen I hope that the next time you visit me it's for the right reasons, love you guys"

"Bye" We all reply as Camila closes my door

"Dang I wonder what happened"

"Let's stay out of it this time"

"Good idea"

~*~

You know for the past year I had developed a routine of waking up from eleven or onwards, I didn't even have an alarm set on my phone. So when that aggravating noise found it's way into my dream I was a little shocked, the beeping was so fucking constant and I was starting to get annoyed. I narrow my eyes at the alarm clock rested on my nightstand

7:15

Maybe I should've considered staying with aunt Camila. I bury my face into the pillow before letting out an annoyed groan

Welcome back to life Carmen

I think I fully started to wake up after having the best shower ever, I didn't realise you could miss your own bathroom so much. I still haven't unpacked much of my stuff so I had to take some jewellery out of the suitcase, I then stand and stare at what I used to call my enemy

My body in the mirror

Serenity has this idea that people should refer to their bodies as their temple, she said that instead of comparing ourselves we should focus our time on loving our bodies instead. So that's what I started doing, I'm wearing a casual outfit today.

-minus the bag-

"Morning" I say as I come down the stairs

"You ready for your first day back?" Dad asks, I nod before giving him a kiss on the cheek

My phone buzzes

I pick up my bag, "Breakfast?"

"I'm going to Starbucks" I reply, he gives me a look

"I promise"

"I'll text June just to make sure" He says

It's annoying when my family does that but then again, I understand. "Later" I wave before opening the door

June looks at me amused as she leans on her car, "Well well well, if it isn't the body positive queen"

I put my shades on before posing and she laughs before giving me a hug, "Your hair is amazing C"

"Why thank you" I smile

"You sure your ready to go back?"

"If I had the choice I wouldn't even be in this country"

"You are eighteen" She points out

"And Spanish" I remind her

Santiago sticks his head out of the window, "Ladies, I've got people to see so hurry"

We roll our eyes before getting into the car, June starts the engine before pulling out of the driveway. "Did you tell her about that thing" She asks my brother, he leans forward

"What thing?"

She looks back at him for a second, "You know.... The thing"

I frown, "Oh yeah...she knows"

"How did she react-

"I'm right here you know"

"She played it cool but I think deep down she's curious to see what the thing is like now" Santiago replies

"Oh my god, you can say Carter" I scoff

They both look at me, "Who said we were talking about Carter"

"Oh for fuck sake" I mutter before turning on my phone

So he's different? It's been a year and I expect nothing less...

I finish off my bagel as June drives into the school parking lot, surprised to see that everything and everyone look the same, you'd think that after a year stepping onto school grounds would feel different, but I've just been hit with deja vu. As the three of us got out of her car everyone standing in the parking lot or standing by the building started to stare.... I fucking hate every second of it

I think Santi sensed how weirded out I was feeling so he put an arm around me, "Don't worry, the attention will stop by lunch time"

There were a few voices that I could catch, most were pretty much the same. "Is that Carmen?"

"Her hair looks different"

Nobody said anything rude so I started to care less when more eyes started to follow me as we entered the school, "See you at break?"

I nod and Santi salutes June and I before walking down the hallway. The two of us walk over to the office, "Let's see if we have any classes together" She says as we stand by the desk

The lady looks up from her screen, "Yes?"

"Oh um I need my timetable"

She narrows her eyes, "Carmen Rodriguez?"

I nod with a frown, "Mr Cadell told me to expect you" She looks through a few papers before handing it to me and I take a look with June

"Welcome back" The lady smiles

"Thanks"

"Let's see.... Looks like we only have bio and history together"

"Bummer" I reply as we leave

"Carmen!" Two excited voices call out

I turn around before smiling, "Hey guys"

Zoe and Sienna pull me in for a hug which almost causes me to bump into the lockers. "Man I fucking missed you" Zoe murmurs

"I missed you guys too" I murmur

"Si your hair looks good" June says impressed

She flips it proudly, "Thanks"

Sienna went from blonde to black, it honestly really suits her. "You've had breakfast right?" Sienna double checks

June snorts, "Please, you think I'd let her get away with not having some?"

I smile a little but then it falters as I familiarise myself with the brunette that basically threatened me last year, I don't know it just makes me feel weird seeing her. After noticing me she looks with surprise, however when realising that I know she's looking she walks away. "It's ok, she won't do shit" June assures me

I frown, "What happened to her"

"She's been dethroned" Zoe replies

"How come?"

"Well.... There's the fact that Adriana ended her, then Enzo threatened her, then the school found out what she did to you and yeah.... She slowly faded away, now she's just a regular student" She shrugs

"Plus the fact that Ca-

June nudges Sienna with a look and I frown, "Carter what?" I say knowingly

"Nothing" June replies

"He's kind of the one who got everyone to turn on her" Zoe tells me

I nod slowly, "Right"

Thankfully the bell rings so none of them would have time to be asking me questions on how I feel about Carter because the answer is, I don't fucking know.

My first class was physics which I absolutely dread, at least it's not chemistry though. "Alright everyone before we start I hope you all remember Carmen. She's been gone for a year but she's back now" Miss Phillips announces

What was the need

Everyone in the class looks back at me, "Where did you go?" One of the guys asks me

"To live with my aunt"

"How come?"

"Brian that's not really necessary-

"No it's ok, I moved there because it was close to the recovery programme that I was going too" I answer

He sits up, "You have an Ed?"

I nod, "Did you meet a girl called Kayla?"

I look at him suspiciously, "Yeah.... How'd you know?" I ask curiously

He half smiles, "She's my cousin"

Isn't that interesting

"Really?" I say surprised, he nods

"Perhaps I could start my lesson now?" Our teacher says amused

I sit back, "Sure"

Funnily enough she couldn't even go thirty seconds without an interruption

We all heard a bang come from outside, it was almost like someone was being pushed up against a locker. "Get the fuck off of me!"

As soon as that voice was heard, everyone got up from their seats and headed straight for the door. "Sit back down everyone!-

It was no use, we were all out of the door already. There's a little smudge of blood on the floor, probably from the blonde that's currently bleeding out of their nose, I frown as I move past a few of the people in my class.

The blonde appears to be getting punched in the face by a brown haired guy, I don't know what happened but he's angry as fuck. Cadell finally comes out of his office, pushing his way through the crowd. "Miller I'm gonna need you to get off of him" He says seriously

He didn't listen of course so the coach had to come and lift him up. Cadell helps the blonde up before guiding him towards the medical room, "Next time you wanna steal shit from me don't be so fucking obvious!"

He would've done this a year ago right?

"What happened?" Someone asks

"Someone dared Tyler to steal Carters bank card" Melanie says amused

I frown, "Why?" The person questions

"Apparently they knew he'd get violent. Clearly someone doesn't want him on the football team"

Ok so then maybe his actions were justified

Who am I kidding

Carter wipes blood off of his eyebrows before turning around, that's when he finally notices me. I just couldn't help but freeze when we made eye contact, truth being told I didn't want him to see me... like at all. His eyebrows raise before dropping into a frown, and then his face turns into a look of surprise, "Carmen"

My name just sounds different coming from his mouth, I don't even know what to say to him at all. Coach drags him by the arm, "You fucked up big time Miller"

I watch as he walks away with the coach with a weird feeling in my stomach. The anger in his eyes was so evident and he looked so bloodthirsty, I feel like he would've knocked out that guy unconscious if nobody stopped him.

My eyes meet with Zoe's and she looks at me softly, I just go back to class.

It's been two minutes, I can't judge him just yet. But maybe that is what my siblings meant when they said he changed, because that guy

Was not my Carter