Dear diary

I am the biggest fucking fool on the planet. Last night I took my boyfriends size for granted and stupidly, I rode him..... then even after that we did missionary. So today I may be on bed rest, but other than that my life isn't doing too bad. Obviously I'm trying to keep on writing but to be honest I'll probably only do so if I'm mad, like I was yesterday actually. It was Lola's birthday and we had to spend it away from home because mom decided to ruin everything, I won't get into much or else I'll get even more mad but I'm hoping she fixes things

so my sister doesn't end up like me

**

A kiss is pressed onto my head as the scent of aftershave fills my nostrils, I open my eyes softly. "It's almost twelve"

I yawn, "You got up without me?"

"Went for a run"

"Hmm" I murmur tiredly

"Melissa made breakfast"

As soon as I move I immediately regret doing so, "Give me a minute"

"Still hurting?" Carter says amused

"Yes" I mumble

He rubs my hips underneath the comforter, "Sorry" He says apologetically

I smile a little, "Don't be, I've never moaned so hard in my life"

He grins, "Seriously though I'm gonna need a lift to the bathroom" I sit up

"Done"

"Carmen!" A voice calls out from the other side of the door

"What!" Carter shouts

"I said Carmen-

"She's busy!"

"But who's gonna do my hair?" Grace shouts back

"Twenty minutes Gracie, I'm coming" I promise

"Ok!"

I then look back at her brother, "I didn't know your name was Carmen"

"Clearly, as I recall you kept on repeating the name Carter-

I cover his mouth, "If your gonna moan like me then do it right"

"Your right, it was a little like-

I pinch his nipples and he flinches, "Ow what the fuck!"

I smile

-

"Afternoon" Melissa says amused

She watches as I sit at the island, "Hey"

"You ok?"

I take my fruit bowl, "Mhm..."

She smiles to herself as she opens the fridge, I know she knows why already so there's no point in even trying to deny it, "So I was wondering" Melissa then says

"How dangerous" I say with a mouthful of strawberries

She laughs a little, "No I was just wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner tonight"

I narrow my eyes, "I feel like there's a catch"

"Kind of.... It's with our extended family"

I pause from chewing and she waits patiently for a response, "As in cousins and aunts and shit?"

She nods, "I mean.... Isn't it too soon?" I frown

"I know it's all a little fast but my mothers been asking about you, your name has been bought up a few times by Carter and myself"

I mean it's cute that he's talking about me to his family but I'm not gonna lie..... rich families scare me sometimes. They're usually very judgmental or they have some weird shit going on.

"Maybe"

"I know what your thinking and no they're nothing like the rich people you have imagined inside your head, that would be Jacobs side of the family"

"Well then I guess I can't say no"

Melissa smiles gratefully

"No to what?" Carter asks as he shuts the front door, I go through the carrier bag in his hand

"Where's my ice cream?" I frown

He shows it to me before putting it in the freezer

"Carmens staying over for dinner" Melissa says

He takes one of my sliced bananas, "I thought we knew that already"

"Oh I forgot to mention, your grandmothers coming over and so are a few of your cousins"

Grace's eyes light up and Carter frowns, "Oh?"

Should I be weary now that I know he's not excited?

"What time?" I ask

"Five thirty" She answers

"Can we go to Caleb's house?" Grace asks

"Yeah give me a second" Her mother replies

I place my bowl into the sink before following Carter to the living room and sitting besides him on the couch, he rests my legs on his. "How many piercings do you have?" He strokes my belly button one

"First hole, second hole" I then lift up some of my hair on the left side

"I got my cartilage last year"

"Thinking of getting anymore?"

I lie on his legs and he looks down at me, "Industrial"

He frowns, "The one that June has" I explain

"Well my favourite one will forever be the belly button" Carter murmurs before kissing me on the cheek, I lift up my shoulders as I smile

"You didn't seem that excited when your mom told you about the dinner"

He sighs as he sits back, "Honestly i'd feel a lot better if it were just Travis and my grandma"

"Travis?"

"Yeah my cousin. And just a heads up incase you don't notice any similarities, he's adopted"

I swear, every rich family has that one adopted kid, "Is he cute?"

"He's seventeen"

"That doesn't answer my question"

Carter looks at me unimpressed, "Define cute"

"Oh you know, nice blonde hair, green eyes, six four-

"That doesn't describe me"

I smile a little, "I'm kidding"

"I'm laughing my guts out" He says sarcastically

I hug his torso, "I only want you cutie" I tease

"I hate that word"

I look up at him, "But you are"

"Carmen-

"Carter"

He sighs, "Go away"

"Cool I'll go with Grace and your mom to Aaron's place-

He grabs my arm and I smile as I sit back down, "Exactly"

"Don't be getting too confident, I had you on bed rest and I can do it again"

I gape, "You did not"

"Oh but I did" My boyfriend says amused

~*~

For the past hour Melissa's been in the kitchen with Julia cooking, I've never seen so much food in my life. I even offered to help at one point but they disobliged, Melissa prefers not to force me to work. I honestly don't mind at all, I'm here all the time so I might aswell.

However because she was firm with her decision, I've resorted to annoying my man.

"C I swear to god-

"Wait just trust the process", I straddle him

"I don't want my eyelashes curled"

"Carter it'll look good" I beg

"No"

I lean forward before putting the tip of the curler near his eyes and he flinches, "Ow!-

"Stay still and maybe it won't hurt"

"Your boobs are on display"

I frown, "What?-

He knocks the eyelash curler out of my hand quickly before getting up and throwing me over his shoulder, "Made you look"

"Bitch put me down"

Carter slaps my ass, "It's my turn, Grace get the black marker"

She gets up from the couch and I widen my eyes as I try to lift myself off, "Grace your supposed to be on my side"

She smiles whilst looking through her colouring pens and I look back down. "Carter you know I was joking before-

"Too late for sweet talk"

I pinch his back but he doesn't even flinch, "I've had to feel your scratches Carmen, a pinch is nothing" He says amused

After accepting my fate I decide to just let myself hang there, "Fuck you-

"You two make quite the pair"

I frown as Carter spins us around, I close my eyes for a second -to get rid of the dizziness-before lifting up my head. "Grandma?" He says surprised

She smiles, "Carter"

She then tilts her head to the side as she looks at me, "That must make you Carmen" She says amused

I smile awkwardly, "Hi"

"Your more beautiful than my grandson described"

Carter finally puts me down and I go a little red, "Thanks"

She finally hugs her grandson before moving onto hug me, I was kind of surprised to be honest.... I'm not much of a hugger but she seems nice, "I'm Mary" She says softly

"Nice to meet you Mary-

"I'm back bitches!" A black haired boy walks into the house with a pair of grey sweats and air forces on

I'll be honest I follow too many stereotypes, I expected Carters family to be dressed formally.

The boy walks into the kitchen before giving Grace and Melissa kisses on the head, "I know you guys missed me" Grace giggles and her mother smiles as he then walks into the front room

"How long ago did you get here dear" Mary asks me

"Oh I actually slept over-

Carter pulls his male relative into a headlock and I step back with amusement, Mary rolls her eyes playfully

"Mom" Melissa gestures

She touches my back gently as she passes by, "Lovely to meet you"

"You too"

"Ay!-

My attention is instantly bought back to this current headlock war, I feel for the guy... he's turning red.

Carter holds on tighter, "Tap out bitch"

"No" He says with a strained voice

"Fine by me-

"Fine you win" He finally taps and Carter releases him

"Since when were you so strong" He wheezes

"Since when were you so weak"

The boy finally notices me before standing up and grinning, "Well well well, who's this pretty goddess?"

I smile a little, "Carmen"

He puts an arm around me, "Travis.... and I'm down to fuck at any time" He informs me

He reminds me of Santiago

"Looks like you've got some competition babe"

"Yes, he certainly does" Travis agrees

Carter pulls me away, "Find your own girlfriend"

"Well why do that when I can have yours?"

"Because she doesn't want you-

"I can change her mind" Travis replies

"Your mentality is the exact reason your still single"

A girl who looks completely different to Travis comes into view, she looks about five foot five and has blonde hair and brown eyes.

"Your just jealous that I've got more game than you-

"Shit I take it back, your exactly as Carter describes" The girl says to me impressed

I look back,"And just how much of your family know about me?"

"A lot" Travis answers

"I'm Mia, Trav's little sister" The blonde introduces

"Fake sister"

I frown, "Trav is the one to make it known that he's adopted" Carter explains

I nod slowly, "Right"

"Oh my god do you still have your green varsity jacket?" Mia suddenly asks me

I frown, "How-

"Carters Insta"

Ok another thing about this family, they seem to know things about me already and it's creepy, "Well lucky for you it's upstairs. Wanna try?" I ask

She nods eagerly

-

I watch as Carmen leads my cousin up the stairs. Honestly I love it when she's in jeans, especially tight ones.

"Her ass is amazing" Travis tilts his head to the side and I look back at him

"I know that, you can stop looking now"

"Relax, I won't steal her from you"

I narrow my eyes, "For now" He adds before sprinting away

"Mother fucker" I chase him into the backyard

"Carter"

I freeze before turning around, "Uncle Mike?" I say shocked

Uncle Mike, aka Mia and Travis' dad.... Also moms little brother. He's everyone's favourite uncle because he has a young soul, he lets us get away with the craziest shit. I remember once when Travis and I got high for the first time, I was fifteen and he was fourteen, Mom was so pissed but then Mike stepped in and I didn't get into as much trouble.

Melissa also says he's a bad influence at times, he got Freya pregnant when they were seventeen, I think if it weren't for our financial stability he would definitely have struggled to raise Mia...

Him and aunt Freya then adopted Travis when Mia was two and he was three, "Little Miller" He spuds

"Where the fuck have you been?-

Grandma raises an eyebrow at me, "Where the heck have you been" I correct

"Travelling with the misses"

"An extended invite would've been nice"

"That's what I said" Travis complains as we walk back into the house

"Well I can't exactly fuck my wife if I know that my son and nephew are around"

Freya frowns as she passes by, "Would it really hurt for you to not swear?"

I wave at her, "Hey honey"

Mike looks back at me as I sit on the couch, "So what's this I hear about a girlfriend"

"He's dating a goddess, her names Carmen" Travis answers

His dad looks at me amused, "It's pretty serious I'm guessing?"

I nod

"What happened to what's her face....."

I frown as Freya thinks to herself, "Erica" She finally says

Travis facepalms, "Mom..."

"What?"

"It's Eliza" He sighs

"Yeah, that one"

"Old news" I answer

She opens a bottle of beer before sitting back, "Good, she was a whore"

I smile to myself as I sit back

-

"So Grace speaks to you?" Mia says surprised

I spray myself, "Yeah when I started babysitting her in the past"

She turns as she looks at herself in the mirror, "Well she's improving for sure, I remember how she never uttered a word when she was three"

I reply to my brothers text as I cross my legs

As I was waiting for my brothers response I couldn't help but notice something about Mia..... it seemed off. She takes off my jacket and I narrow my eyes at her back, I can see a mark forming a straight line. It's kind of bruising but that mark doesn't just come from anywhere, "Do you exercise often?"

She puts her cardigan back on before untucking her hair from the hood, "Oh um I used to do sit ups a lot"

"At the gym?"

"Dinner!" Melissa calls out from downstairs

Mia shakes her head at me, "In my room" She replies before heading out

Well damn

Flashback -last year-

I let out a struggled breath as I sit up once more, my sheets are coated in sweat and so am I. Grunts of pain and tiredness are breathed out as I continue to slave myself, "Fuck" I whisper as pain shoots through my body

I lay back onto my pillows before sitting up once again, "Twenty"

Jesus I'm starting to become dizzy

"Twenty on-

Shuffling is heard in the hallways, I recognise those footsteps. I pull the comforter over my body quickly before lying back down on my mattress of sweat and nastiness, yeah believe me it's not ideal doing sit-ups in bed but you gotta do what you gotta do. My light flickers on and I close my eyes as I face the wall, "You asleep yet?"

I don't reply and her footsteps travel closer. I clench my eyes shut tighter even though deep down I know I've already been caught, aunt Camila scoffs. "Por el amor de dios Carmen" , She rests her hand on the back of my damp shirt

-for the love of god Carmen-

She feels around , "Your sheets are drenched in sweat, don't try to fool me"

I sigh before giving in and turning over, she feels how damp my hair is. "You've been doing sit ups haven't you" Camila says knowingly

I don't reply as she crouches down, "Why mi amor?" She asks softly

"Burns the calories" I say quietly

She sighs as she tucks a hair behind my ear, "You were doing good C"

I swallow, "Come on.... Get in the bath and I'll make you some noodles"

Slowly I get up and Camila watches as I trudge over to the bathroom. "You should take your anti depressants"

I look back at her before shaking my head, "Carter will text back I'm sure" She then says as I lift up my shirt

"Wouldn't count on it"

Camila stares at my body with shock as I take off my leggings, I have in fact left the programme a few pounds lighter. "I'll call Serenity in the morning" She walks out after that and I sigh as I close my eyes

I stand there as I remember my depressing stage of life, to think that this was only a year ago too. Then I remember how Melissa called us down for dinner a moment ago, I shut Carters door behind me before heading downstairs.