Was I? I didn't feel strong enough. I wanted it to stop. Did that make me weak?

Remembering the pain Mason had inflicted on me brought a new wave of fear crashing over me. I had thought I was going to die. It was hard process the fact that I would have to endure pain that was worse than that. I wanted to run and hide. I didn't want to have to do this.

Tears formed in my closed eyes and slid down my face.

"Shh, Ava," Jared soothed as he wiped the tears away with his fingers. "It'll be okay. I'll be there with you every step of the way. I wish I could do it for you. You don't know how much I wish I could do it in your place, but I can't."

I knew he would be there and he would help as much as he could, but he wouldn't be able to take the pain away. I would have to endure that on my own. Even if he could do it instead of me, I wouldn't let him do it. It would kill me to see him go through that much pain for me.

First, I had to survive the draining of the Hue energy. If they drained too much energy I would die, but if they didn't drain enough the altering wouldn't succeed and I would be dead in a few days anyway. There were so many things that could go wrong.

"Promise me you'll fight to survive," he pleaded with me. I could hear the desperation in his voice. "I need you to promise me that you'll fight as hard as you can to pull through."

More tears slid down the side of my face. I took a deep breath as I tried to keep my emotions under control. My chest burned.

The reality was that the odds were against us. I wanted to be able to wrap my arms around him one last time. I wanted to thread my hands through his raven-black hair and kiss him. There were so many things I still wanted to do.

"I want to tell you how we've planned the altering," he said softly. "I want you to know so that you are prepared when it happens. We decided to perform the altering out in the clearing as soon as you enter the next emotionless state. Nathaniel will be the one to drain the energy from you. We chose him because he has had more experience than anybody else, and I can't drain you. I don't want to take the chance that draining the Hue energy from you might taint my Archaic energy. I'm worried that if my Archaic energy is tainted the altering might not be successful. We're taking every precaution to make sure we do it right."

A pity there wasn't a manual that came with instructions about this whole thing. It would take the guessing out of the equation. A checklist would be even better. I trusted Jared's judgment, though, and if he thought Nathaniel was the person to drain me, then I trusted Nathaniel to do it.

All of my muscles ached; I felt battered and bruised. Jared couldn't heal me, but surely my body would have started to heal itself already. Within all of my pain, I felt hunger. Maybe my body was struggling to heal because I was low on energy.

"Once he's certain he has drained you to the brink of death, I'll push all of my energy into you. It's going to be crucial that we get it right. I know it's going to be painful," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, "but I need you to pull through."

He paused.

"I need you to survive."

I squeezed his hand. The pain increased, and the last thought on my mind before I gave in to the darkness was that I didn't want to die.

The agony the next time I woke up was worse. Emotionally, I was numb; I'd entered an emotionless state. Mason. I needed him like my life depended on it. It was agony, the burning desire to find him and touch him.

I was too weak to move. All I managed to do was moan. My eyelids felt like they were glued closed, so I couldn't open them.

A hand reached for mine. As the fingers touched my skin, I could feel my skin burn beneath the touch. It was so painful. It took all my strength to pull my hand away as I moaned louder.

I heard a shuffle in the room.

Someone wrapped me tightly in the comforter from the bed. They were careful not to touch my skin.

I knew what was coming, but I was too weak to fight. If I couldn't even lift my head, how could I possibly try and escape? It wasn't an option. The burning need increased. It got so bad that I gasped out loud from the pain.

Someone put their arm under my shoulders and another arm under my knees and lifted me off the bed. I heard multiple footsteps as they carried me down the stairs. They were taking me to the clearing for the altering. I felt the cool air brush my face as I was carried out of the house. It probably meant that it was early evening already.

I felt them lay me down on a cold leather seat. They'd put me in the back seat of a car. The only sound came from the constant moaning escaping my lips. I was in agony, and it was getting worse.

Nobody said anything. I knew from the sound of footsteps and the sound of activity in the car that there was more than one person with me. I couldn't do anything else but lie on the back seat and moan. Someone started up the car and I could feel it pull away and drive. I knew where we were going.

Everyone was silent for the journey to the clearing. I didn't know why no one was talking. Maybe they were too nervous to try and make pointless conversation. Once the car stopped, I heard someone open the door and I felt someone lift me up off the back seat and carry me out of the car.

From the smell of the trees and the dampness of the grass and soil, I could tell that we were headed to the clearing. Still the only sound was the soft moan that was emanating from me.

We walked for a little while and when they stopped I was put down on the ground. Someone unwrapped the comforter. I lay on the comforter on the ground in the clearing, moaning as they prepared to start the altering.

"We need to start," Tyler announced. I remembered Jared telling me that they needed to perform the altering when I was in an emotionless state. They couldn't waste any time, then, as the altering needed to be done before my emotions returned.

"I just need a minute with her before we start," Jared said.

I heard Jared crouch down beside me on the grass in the clearing. I then felt Jared's breath brush over my face.

"Remember your promise," he whispered to me. No one else could hear what he was saying to me. I knew he wanted to touch me, but he knew that if he did he would cause me physical pain.

But I felt nothing for him; I only wanted Mason. The agony of the separation from Mason was increasing in intensity. I needed to touch him, and I didn't know if I could cope with the pain anymore. If it got any worse I would beg them to kill me. I couldn't take it much longer.

As I lay on the ground in the clearing, I knew they were about to begin with the altering.

I only wanted Mason at that point. I wanted to feel his hand holding mine. The pain needed to end. He wouldn't be able to find me. I knew this. I was too weak. The signal from the Hue energy we shared was too weak. This time he wouldn't come. This time I was alone.