It was late into Excelsior’s second night when the group of gods who would come to be known as The Seven heard a message in their heads.

“Now you all have finished your respective tasks for the day, I summon you back to the meeting room for a performance review.” It was Damon’s voice, the self-appointed leader of the gods and so, one by one, the gods all teleported themselves back to the Damon’s throne room.

It was lit just as depressingly clinically as before, and like before, Damon sat on his golden throne, looking down at the rows of tables before him. Unlike before, the gods took mere moments to arrive and immediately, ignoring Damon who had opened his mouth as if to start addressing The Seven, the gods began to chat amongst themselves.

“My god, which of you guys has stayed up working this late?” asked Loma. “I mean, I know we don’t need to sleep, but its still good to get some rest you know.”

“I, um, that would be me” Aomy mumbled in response. “There was kinda, this emergency-“

“I’ll say there was” interjected Damon. “But we’ll get to that. I have brought you here to review your performances this past day, especially if they have been lacking, as most of you were.”

“Oh, and what were you doing that was so exemplary Damon” Naturum blearily replied, not able to even fake her usual sunny countenance and cheerful disposition. “I haven’t seen you all day, and for someone meant to monitor us you were noticeably absent during that monster crisis just now.”

“I was planning for the future” responded the evil god. “And, although this may not reveal itself to you all yet, my performance was beyond exemplary. Now, as you’re so eager, do you care to discuss your actions today?”

Naturum glared at Damon, but did respond. “Fine. I made a beautiful ecosystem using England’s ecosystem as a basis, even added some wisps as a fantasy addition. Then, a bunch of monsters showed up and started eating all my hard work. Then, if all the damage control wasn’t enough to take it out of me, all the immortals have been praying at me non-stop, blaming me for the monsters! Like I made them!”

What Damon would consider a subtly cruel grin, but most would consider an obviously cruel grin spread across the silver gods face. “I believe you can just turn those off if they bother you.”

Naturum’s eyes flashed with anger, before a sly grin started to spread across her face and just a bit of her brightness returned to her. It was hard to keep Naturum down for long, or at least, hard to keep her so down that she couldn’t act like she was up.

“Fortunately, I believe I have a way of finding out who did make the monsters” she mused.

“Impossible” declared Damon at roughly the same time as Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, who hadn’t been paying attention blurted out “Wait, someone made monsters?!” Unsurprisingly, the god of magics face was full of unbridled excitement.

Aomy began to explain the situation to Rizzleritchensteineonizziism and Loma, who were both somewhat out the loop, while Scientia added the occasional obscure insight befitting of a god of knowledge. This allowed Naturum and Damon to continue their confrontation.

“Objection.” Naturum announced, her pronunciation clear and deliberate, but not as exclamatorily as she had shouted the word earlier today. Although the reference was less clear, alluding to the meme from Legend Lawyers in any way made Naturum’s smile glow brighter, and she quickly found she was getting her groove back.

“I believe I have the perfect way of getting you to admit you made those monsters, Damon” She stressed his name, emphasising just how brazenly evil a chosen name it was. She clapped her hands and a fresh bit of paper appeared on the table.

Damon glanced over at it, sceptically. “I presume you want me to sign another contract” he sneered.

“Yup. This one means that if you made those monsters you have to immediately admit it.” Naturum’s voice usually suggested nothing but friendliness but now there was a hint of malice behind her words. However, it was nothing compared to the malice Damon’s grin conveyed.

Staring the nature goddess straight in the eye, he signed the paper, and remained deafeningly silent. Naturum stared back at him in shock before deflating.

“Oh” was all she could manage to say, as she tried to process what this meant.

Not that Damon was willing to give her a chance to think. “So, to summarise your work today. You made a basic ecosystem that barely qualifies for belonging in a fantasy world, one that was quite easily disrupted, and you still don’t know who disrupted it. I expect much better tomorrow.”

But, now Naturum had a spark of her energy returned, it was much harder to return her to despair. “Not being the one who made the monsters hasn’t given you the right to be an ass Damon” she retorted.

Ignoring her, Damon swept his attention onto another of the gods. “Rich. Please tell me of what you have accomplished today.”

Rich grinned back at him. “Oh, nothing much, nothing much. Just made the coolest weather system ever!” he yelled.

Damon frowned. “Your job was creating magic was it not?”

Rich’s grin faded. “Yeah, but Loma asked me to make the weather. I didn’t have time to make magic.”

“Making up for another’s failure does not excuse your own. Magic is an integral part of a fantasy world, which many of you seem to have forgotten we’re making. I expect better tomorrow.” Damon was well aware he wasn’t making any friends among the gods, judging from the stink eyes from Naturum, Aomy and Rizzleritchensteineonizziism, but he was far too drunk on power to care.

“Now, Loma. What have you achieved?” Damon asked.

“Well, I made a country, which was a lot of work. Sorry about the weather though.”

Damon thought for a moment. Loma didn’t seem to dislike him as the others did, so he decided to let him off the hook. “Well, the weather won’t need to be made twice, so I presume everything will run smoothly tomorrow. Keep doing what you’re doing.” He turned to the next god. “Scientia. What have you done?”

“My library already has been filled with the secrets of this world. I encourage you all to delve it, be it for curiosity or for specialised purpose, or contact me if you need to know something not yet contained within my homes halls.”

Damon really wanted to needle the Thoth impersonator, but he hadn’t actually seen much of Scientia as he seemed to keep to himself, so Damon had no choice but to assume he’d done an acceptable job. “Well, good job then. Keep it up” he forced himself to say.

Scientia nodded, grandly. “As it appears pertinent to this meeting, I have information regarding monsters I wish to share. Like Aomy has already discovered they do not die in any conventional way, instead operating similar to videogame enemies, dying once their hit points are depleted. Additionally, they are not born as natural creatures are, instead just spawning in certain levels of darkness when no sapient life would behold their apparition. They also do not need to eat as humans do, and yet they hunt down and kill animals, both sapient and otherwise.”

Naturum wrinkled her nose. “All this clearly not natural stuff and people are still blaming me for making them! Its ridiculous!”

Scientia could have provided countless explanations for how the immortals had arrived at that conclusion but sharing them would be rude, so instead he simply said “Quite.”

“Thank you, Scientia” announced Damon turning to the final god. “Lastly, Aomy. What have you done.”

“Um. I made people, I gave them a load of knowledge, I gave them enough strength to repel the monsters until they could make proper defences, and I tried to teach them how to build a good civilisation, probably failed horrendously, and now have the deaths of hundreds on my hands.” Even without a face, the goddess of civilisations clearly looked glum.

“Heyyyy, don’t say that!” cried Naturum. “You’re probably being too negative. Besides, we’re all new at this, no can expect perfection out the gate. After all.” She switched to a more sing song voice. “It’s tough to be a god.”

In a much less enthused version of the same voice Aomy replied “Be deified when really you’re a sham.”

Scientia blinked and looked between the two goddesses. “I believe you got the words wrong” he announced.

Jovially, Naturum replied “Me, we can’t all have a perfect memory like you, show-off.”

Scientia blinked again. “I have never heard this song before in my life, I believe I am too old to have heard it. However, based on word choice, melody and chord progression, I believe there is a portion of this song you missed.”

Naturum laughed. “You’re such a nerd.” She paused and thought a moment. “Wait, how old are you?”

He blinked again and turned quickly to Aomy. “I believe there was something else you did today.”

Aomy, who had looked quite happy to not be in the spotlight for a moment, snapped back into reality and startled, looked around. “I, er. Um. Oh! I accidentally named the world as well. It’s called Excelsior.”

Scientia nodded. “And may I ask what its higher than?”

Aomy stared uncomprehending back as him. “What?”

Unaffected, he replied “The chair?”

Still just as uncomprehending she said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Excelsior. Latin for higher than. Is this because the world is higher than the chair?” he explained.

Aomy smiled a little. “Sure. Why not.”

Fed up with the idle chatter of his fellow gods, Damon interrupted them. “I believe there is one more thing you have neglected to mention Aomy. You gave a very poor speech to humanity did you not? Is it safe to assume that we, the gods, are not respected as we should be?”

Aomy hung her head. “Yeah, probably.”

Noticing her friend’s distress, Naturum quickly shouted “Oh well, that’s not too much of a problem considering Damon’s the only one insecure enough to care about the mortals respect.”

Damon bristled but tried to ignore her. “So, to summarise. We have no magic. The people dislike us and may go round warring at any moment. Natures being eaten and we have a bunch of monsters terrorising our lands. Are there any more fuck ups I’ve missed?”

A wet slap could be heard against the window. By the time the gods turned to it, all that could be seen was the slight hint of a slimy dribble. Damon held out his hand and light extended out, lighting the area around his castle in a light comparable to how the world would look in daytime revealing dark storm clouds gathering in the sky above. There was a rumble, and rain began to pour forth, slapping against Damon’s large windows with the same squishy sound.

Slowly the gods moved closer to the windows to get a closer look, before stepping back in shock. The rain hitting the window was no mere ordinary water. It was raining snails. Each of the gods turned to stare at Rizzlerich.

He waved his hands defensively. “You said I could make the weather as interesting as I want!”

Brows furrowed, Damon sneered. “Right, I’ve had enough of this ridiculousness, and so I believe this meeting should be adjourned. Most of you have failed in some capacity today, notably not excluding you Naturum. Tomorrow, do better.” Before any retort could be made, he winked out of sight.

Naturum grinned. “I think we may have rustled a couple feathers today. Good job Rizzlerich, love the snails. Anyway, now what?”

Loma sighed and looked around. “As much as I want to keep destroying Rich in Nimbus, I feel we should sleep, even if we don’t technically have to. The process of resting while doing nothing and then waking up fresh is good for us mentally, I think.”

Naturum nodded. “Fair enough. I’ll probably join you all tomorrow!”

“I think I might too” added Aomy

Loma smiled. “So long as we don’t play Antonio Car again. You’re too good at that.”

Surprisingly, Scientia now spoke up. “I may join you all too. Although I fear I won’t be too good at your reflex games. Perhaps we could find a videogame version of Do You Want to Be a Billionaire?”

Naturum laughed. “I’ll be glad to have you around bird man. Although, playing trivia games against the literal god of knowledge? No thanks.”

“Maybe we can do a couple rounds. Give him an opportunity to show off” replied Aomy.

“But trivia games are boring!” cried Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. “Where’s the action?! The explosions?! The Excitement?!”

Scientia looked offended. “Trivia games can be exciting.”

Loma laughed a deep rumbling laugh. “Well, we are omnipotent. We can always add some explosions into the background of any game we play.”

The gods continued their chatting deep into the night as they slowly disappeared to get some private rest. All except Damon, who was of course already home. He had teleported to the roof of his castle, ignored the snails pelting him, brazenly transformed back into his more evil appearance and had begun to reflect on the meeting that had transpired. The more he thought about it, the happier he was. The sense of power! The look on Naturum’s face when the contract had proven he hadn’t made monsters! How smoothly his plan was progressing!

“Mwahaha. Mwahahahahaa” He knew it was cheesy and made him sound like a cartoon villain, but he was far too up his own arse to care. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA”

And thus, with the sound of his laughter echoing into the night, the second day of Excelsior drew to a close.