An ibis-headed deity appeared inside a dark throne room and found it empty. The candelabra was unlit, and the only source of illumination came from the moon shining its light through the floor to ceiling windows. The recreated throne blocked this light, casting an imposing shadow upon the red carpet leading to the door and the two tables either side of it.

Before Scientia could contemplate the absence of his fellow gods, or dwell in the loneliness of this room, a bright ball of light exploded into existence behind him. He shielded his eyes, and once he could see again, he beheld Rizzleritchensteineonizziism. The magic god’s smile stretched off his head made of lightning, both his arm of fire and his arm of water waved about enthusiastically and his whole body shook with energy.

“Hey, why are you so late!” he cried at Scientia. “I was gonna show off magic today and you’ve delayed that by hours.” He paused and blinked, confused. “Wait, why’s it so dark?”

A flash of light and a rumble of thunder drew both their eyes to the throne. Sitting upon it was the resplendent Damon.

“I do not leave the lights on when this room is not in use” he announced as he stared down at the others with his signature look of superiority. With a wave of his hand, the room was illuminated by that clinical white light once more.

Rich stared back defiantly, although both Scientia and Damon could detect faint traces of hesitation in his voice. “Why not? It’s not electricity, god-powered stuff runs forever!”

“Presuming that our powers are truly infinite, of course” Damon replied. “Besides, it is polite to turn the lights off upon exiting a room.”

Before this argument could continue further, the doors to the meeting room swung open with a mighty bang and striding through came Naturum, long hair of vines billowing behind her as she walked. Following much more hesitantly behind her was Aomy, her featureless golden face betraying no emotion, but her downcast head and hunched posture suggesting she probably wasn’t as enthused as Naturum.

“Hey y’all! Guess what? We’re not the latest in this time!” Naturum’s happy tone and expression lit up the room far better than any of Damon’s harsh lighting could.

Scientia swept low, bowing (over)dramatically. “My apologies for my lateness. I was enthralled with my studies.”

Naturum grinned. “No worries bird nerd. Although, it’d probably be smart to not completely vanish all trace of yourself from the world and make yourself uncontactable next time.” She scanned the room and noticed the lack of one more familiar face. “Hey, where’s Loma? Are we also not last back?”

“I’ve been here the whole time.” The deep, rumbling voice came from a pile of rocks in the corner. They slowly unfurled, revealing a large mountainous man covered in miniature hills and rivers.

Scientia’s lower beak dropped. Had he really been here this whole time? The shock lasted for merely a second before he remembered this pile of rocks definitely wasn’t in this room before, and this wasn’t some mountainous locale where you could pull this trick and get away with it.

Loma noticed the varying looks of incredulity and sighed. “Okay, I teleported in a few moments ago. Shall we get on?”

The other gods nodded and voiced their agreements and went to sit down, Loma conjuring his own chair into existence as a precaution. Damon looked to him and nodded.

“Loma. Why don’t you start today’s meeting by telling us of your accomplishments?”

“Hold it!” Naturum cried, green finger pointing toward Damon. “Before anything, I’ll prove you made those monsters that besmirch my name! With this!” A contract appeared and flew from her hand and into Damon’s. He looked down, read it, and signed it.

As he did, Naturum was explaining its contents. “This contract states that if he gave someone else the power to make monsters, including making a person with the power to make monsters, then he has to admit it.”

The group looked up at the smugly silent Damon. But Naturum wasn’t done yet. She conjured a ring and threw it at Damon.

“Put this on” she demanded. Damon looked at the ring with suspicion but hesitantly put it on. The moment it slid onto his finger a green light began to glow from it.

Naturum frowned. “Okay, that ring detects if people are still under the effect of all god contracts they’ve signed. It glows green if they are. Okay, time for my last resort!” She threw another contract at Damon. “Signing this one makes you explain everything you know about the monsters creation. No wriggling out now!”

Dismissively, Damon threw the contract back to her. “This is ridiculous” he snarled. “This meeting is late enough as is, and I’m tired of proving my innocence. Exclusively me, I might add. Suspect someone else for a change.”

Naturum glared back at him, determined. “Sign this and it’ll prove you know nothing we don’t.”

Across from her, at the opposite table, Loma smiled reassuringly at Naturum. “Look, we’ll find out what’s causing the monsters. Fighting amongst ourselves won’t help.” Naturum glared at him, but before a retort could be made, he began to give a brief summary of how his day’s work went.

The meeting progressed relatively smoothly after that, Scientia and Naturum also giving summaries of their work. That was, until it was time for Aomy to explain her day.

Damon turned to her, sneered and said “Now, I believe it was expected that you would create dwarves for the underground. So why are there just a load of bugs running around there now?”

Aomy didn’t look back and continued staring at the table. “I. I fucked up. Tried to make dwarves and I think some died. Had to make something actually adapted to the underground to live there instead.” She looked up and her golden face had lost all its shine, leaving little but a dark yellow.

“I’m terrible. People probably died and it’s all my fault.”

Damon’s face didn’t exactly soften, but he did back out the conversation and let Naturum take over. After all, it would look bad if he didn’t.

The nature goddess reached out and put a hand on Aomy’s shoulder. “Come on, I’m sure it’s not your fault. I presume you weren’t running around murdering dwarves, right?”

Aomy’s body shuddered, and you could tell that the only reason she wasn’t crying was that her face didn’t have eyes. “I didn’t directly kill them. But it’s still my fault they died.”

“What is fault” replied Naturum. “And for what reasons can you blame someone for something? Personally, I think it’s only alright to blame someone or yourself for something if it was done willingly. I don’t think you can be blamed for anything.”

Aomy shook her head. “But I should have known. If I was smarter, actually thought about what the dwarves needed, then I could have done better!”

“If back on Earth, someone forced you to do surgery on someone to save their life, and they died, would you blame yourself?”

Aomy thought for a moment. “…Probably?”

Naturum rolled her eyes. “But should you blame yourself? Would you blame someone else equally inexperienced for being forced into a situation where they couldn’t save someone?”

“I guess not.”

“So why blame yourself when you’ve been forced into a more complicated and high stakes position? Absolutely learn from any mistakes made here, but under no circumstances beat yourself up about it. If you’re gonna blame anyone for those deaths, blame that God who brought us here.”

“Mmm. Maybe.” Aomy’s voice still shook with emotion, and she didn’t sound entirely convinced, but it was progress.

Naturum forced herself to smile brightly at her friend. “Well, after this we’re definitely going to get together and play games like we planned yesterday. You need the distraction!”

Loma sighed and replied “As much as I’d like to join you, I really need to sleep. Hopefully everyone else is up?”

Naturum smiled. “I thought about that while Scientia was taking his time getting here. You don’t need to sleep, you just like doing it cos its better psychologically, so what if we just stop time before your bedtime and play then?”

Loma blinked. “I thought we were banned from time travel?”

Naturum’s smile widened. “This isn’t time travel cos we’re not going back or forwards in time. In fact, time completely stops travelling!”

Now Loma smiled back. “Then I’d love to join. Let’s finish this meeting quick so we can do that. Rich, what have you done today?”

For a moment Rizzleritchensteineonizziism was silent. He vaguely recognized the question, but he continued staring at the dejected Aomy, his heart aching for the only member of what would become The Seven who took the time to learn and consistently say his name. But then, his face hardened. She needed a distraction? Perfect. He was awesome at distractions.

With a sudden flash of light, the group of gods no longer sat at the desks of Damon’s throne room and now stood in a huge room of white squares, with black outlines, all of equal length and width, and all lining every inch of floor, wall and ceiling.

“For too long have you kept me from explaining magic!” the magic god’s wild voice cried. “And I suspect you made me explain my day last as a cruel prank!” His body had begun to swell and grow, until he towered over the other gods, all of them shielding their faces from the wind blown about by his tornado lower half. “But no more! It is at last time! FOR SPELLCRAFT’S UNVEILING!!!”

He practically screamed that last sentence before popping back to his original short size. He noted Aomy’s body language, seemingly significantly shocked out of her depression and grinned. “So, who wants a demonstration!”

Naturum looked around the room, eyes full of wonder. “Rizzlerich, what is this place?”

He stared incredulously at her. “This is just my test room. It’s one of the rooms on my island.”

“But I, um. On the outside, that huge swirl of magic I’m pretty sure is smaller than this room” mumbled Aomy.

Rizzlerich deflated. “But magic” he thought to himself. “Why do they only care about my testing room when I’ve got magic?”

For a moment all that could be heard was Scientia furiously scribbling in his notebook before that too stopped. “I would quite like to observe magic, mighty one.”

Immediately Rizzleritchensteineonizziism’s eyes lit up and he cried “Yeah! Watch this!” A purple glowing rock appeared in one hand and he yelled out “RIZZLEFIRENSTEINEOBALLISM!” A ball of fire began to grow in his other hand, ironically, the one made of water, before he lobbed it. It sailed through the air until it crashed to the ground with a mighty explosion.

The chaotic god triumphantly let out an equally mighty “WOO!” as Naturum began to clap, followed by Aomy.

Scientia began his lightning-fast note taking once more, before asking “And may you explain how it all works?”

“Sure! To do magic, you need three things! One, spell name, the easiest thing cos they all have a pattern you’ll probably guess by the end of this demonstration. Two! A sufficient power source! To ensure everyone can do magic equally, humans and other non-magic creatures do not have innate magic! Instead they need a magic source, like this mana rock I planted all over Excelsior without Loma’s permission! They lose power when next to each other to prevent hoarding! Finally, the bit that requires studying, each element and spell shape needs you to learn a certain brain muscle movement!”

Without stopping his ardent writings, Scientia asked “What do you mean by quote, “brain muscle movement”?”

“Hmm. Dunno how to explain it.” Rizzleritchensteineonizziism made another mana rock appear in his hand and tossed it to Scientia. “Use your all-knowing-ness to download the information from god-internet into your brain and cast a spell.”

Scientia didn’t look up from his note taking so the rock sailed lazily into his face and then to the floor. Frowning, Scientia put down his notes and picked up the stone. “Rizzlelightningensteineoboltism.” His voice was just as dramatic as Rizzleritchensteineonizziism’s, although it was at a much lower volume. He thrust his hand forward and a bolt of lightning burst from his hands, fizzling out before it could continue indefinitely and hit the wall of this impossibly vast room.

His feathers stood on end, and his eyes widened, indicating a significant degree of appreciation for Rich’s spellcraft. But then he frowned again. “You are right, these movements are hard to describe. Like moving a limb, you previously never had, or a muscle in your brain. Are you confident mortals can learn these techniques?”

Rizzle aggressively nodded his head. “I gave all mortals instincts for eldritch limb movements without Aomy’s permission.” He grinned cheekily. “Sorry!”

Damon sneered yet again. “Is there anything else you’ve done behind our backs?”

“Yeah! I graffitied your castle when you weren’t looking!” Damon’s brows furrowed and he took an aggressive step towards Rich, who backed away and cried “Ah! Not again!”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Naturum smiling down at him. “Don’t worry, he can’t do anything because of the contracts, you’re safe. More importantly. Are you making people say your name as a magic spell?”

Loma’s jaw hung open. “Oh god. Forget learning inhuman muscle movements, all potential wizards are going to struggle just pronouncing their spells!”

Rich stuck his tongue out at the mountain god. “Feature, not a bug! This adds an extra layer of skill to magic duels, you gotta say tongue-twisty words fast.” He turned to Naturum. “And yeah! This way no one’s gonna forget my name! It’s like the coolest signature ever!”

“Anyway, bored of questions now! Last part of demonstrations! RIZZLEWATERENSTEINEOPULSEISM!!!” A wave of water sprung up around the magic god and pushed the other gods back as they cried out and slipped over.

Rizzlerich grinned and shouted “And now to unveil the true beauty of my magic system! Its infinite customisability! TIME TO DRY OFF!!! RIZZLEFIRENSTEINEOPULSEISM!!!” A wave of fire, near identical to the water wave washed over the gods, deliberately powered with a smaller mana rock so it wouldn’t violate the no hurting each other contract.

Scientia looked down at his notebook and let out a sigh of relief as he recalled making it water (and just about everything else) proof. “I presume all elements can be matched with all forms of magic?” he quired.

Rizzlerich nodded. “Yup! Everything I’m gonna add is all gonna mix together. And that’s not all! Watch this! RIZZLEFIRENWATERNEOBALLISM!!!”

A ball of fire and water appeared in his hand. Immediately they mixed together to make a steam sphere, which he then lobbed like he’d done with the fireball. Upon impacting the ground, it burst, releasing a great steam cloud, working as a fairly effective smoke bomb.

Naturum oohed appreciatively. “And you’re going to make all elements mix and match?”

“Yup! Some won’t do much, like fire and lightning, and some will probably counteract each other, but I’m gonna make sure there’s maximum customisation and possibilities. Once I’ve added enough elements, anything will be possible, and mortals will surely exceed all our expectations! Woo!”

He paused for a moment. “Although that does mean that balancing each element so they work right will get harder and harder. Like, to make that steam ball work I had to balance it so it steamed on impact, before if you made a steam ball it just went off in your hands. But still, worth it! And who wouldn’t want to work on magic forever!” His eyes gleamed and his grin stretched past the confines of his head. “Anyway, demonstration over. Videogame time!”

“Yeah!” cried Naturum who was completely swept up in Rizzleritchensteineonizziism’s antics and conjured 50 party poppers into existence behind her, which all went off simultaneously. Aomy’s face glowed brighter, and Loma rubbed his hands together excitedly. One by one, the gods teleported to Loma’s home, their grievances and sadness temporarily forgotten, each in turn entranced by Rizzleritchensteineonizziism’s relentless energy.

All except Damon, who stayed behind in the testing room, frowning. “I hadn’t dismissed the meeting yet” he hissed.