《The Art of Fear》Chapter 4
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Alicia pushed another branch aside to prevent it from slashing her across the face. She was almost at the quarry. She had figured if she couldn't find solace in her drawing anymore, she would try something else. For the most part, she had managed to convince herself that yesterday's events had all been a bad dream. That was really the only way she could hang on to the remaining shreds of her sanity. It was easier to believe she had hallucinated the whole thing rather than entertain the idea that there was a killer clown on the loose in Derry.
There was a crack somewhere behind her and Alicia whipped around to face the noise. What she saw was a smiling red-headed girl who looked oddly familiar.
"Oh...looks like I'm not the only girl interested in going for a swim today," the girl said in a friendly tone, "Did they invite you too?"
"Who?" Alicia asked, feeling immediately uncomfortable.
She'd wanted some time to herself, but it seemed like her plans were about to be turned upside down. She wondered just how many other kids would be at the quarry.
"I guess not then. Bill Denbrough and his friends invited me to go swimming with them today. Will you be joining us, then?"
"I'm sorry, you look so familiar, but..." Alicia's voice trailed away, but the redhead had no trouble catching on.
She nodded understandingly before introducing herself, "I'm Beverly Marsh. We go to the same school. You're Alicia, right? I know we only have one Goth kid at our school so you're pretty easy to recognize."
Beverly Marsh. Now that Alicia thought about it, the face did match the name. Beverly Marsh had a bit of a reputation at her school. Everyone called her a slut, but Alicia had never believed the rumors.
"You, uh, cut your hair," Alicia noted.
Beverly's smile faded, her hand lightly touching her red curls.
"Yeah," she said a little absent-mindedly.
"It looks nice," Alicia assured her, "And it'll work great for summer."
"Oh...thanks," Beverly said, but she didn't sound too enthusiastic. "So are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going swimming?"
"Well, if you and your friends want to go swimming, that's fine. I can head back home—"
"Don't be like that," Bev said warmly, her smile returning, "You can't go home now. Come on, the more the merrier."
Alicia hesitated. Bev had said Bill Denbrough would be there, and she had no wish to go anywhere near him.
Alicia had never really had too many friends in her life, but she had always wondered what it was like for other kids to run around and just have fun together. It was a tempting offer, but she was afraid to accept.
"Would you be alright with spending time with a creep like me?" she asked bluntly.
Beverly frowned, "You can't really believe what Bowers and his gang say about you. I don't believe for a second that how you look is any reason to treat you the way they do." She extended her hand, a look of sincerity on her face. "Now are you coming or not?"
Alicia stared at the outstretched hand before her. Maybe a little company was exactly what she needed. She'd been so used to being alone all the time; it was time for a breath of fresh air.
She put her hand in Beverly's. Bev smiled in response and started leading her through the woods toward the quarry.
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"We have to hurry or else the boys will beat us to the water!" she urged.
They plunged forward, dodging trees until they reached a clearing revealing the cliff edge that overlooked the quarry. Five boys stood with their backs to the girls, examining the extent of the drop and bickering over who should jump first.
"I'll go!" Bev volunteered, ripping off her shoes and socks in an instant and unbuttoning her dress to reveal her undergarments.
All five boys turned just as Bev ran forward and leapt off the edge.
The boy on the far right swore, "We just got shown up by a girl! We have to jump now!"
Alicia came forward more slowly, peering down at the quarry.
"Hi."
She looked up to see Bill Denbrough and the other boys staring at her. When no one returned her greeting, she tried again.
"Hi, uh...Beverly invited me to come swimming with you guys. I hope you don't mind."
"Nnno, it's fine," Bill said with a gentle smile, "You're A-Alicia, right?"
Alicia nodded.
"You're the crazy Goth chick from school?" the boy on the far right spoke up.
He wore large glasses that seemed to magnify his eyes and made him look funny.
"Yeah, I'm the one Bowers calls a creep," Alicia admitted, fiddling with the end of her ponytail, "But...I'm afraid I don't really know any of your names."
"Oh, sssssorry," Bill interjected, "I'm—Bill Denbrough. That's Richie." The boy wearing glasses raised his hand in a wave. Bill then pointed to the one who stood next to him; this boy had sandy curls. "That's Stan." Stan nodded politely. Bill jerked his thumb at the kid on the far left, "That's Eddie." Eddie gave a halfhearted "hello" and finally Bill gestured to a short, round figure beside him. "And this is Ben," he finished.
Ben leaned out to let Alicia get a better look at him and she noticed a patch of white on his stomach. It was a band aid.
Suddenly realization struck Alicia. Patrick had been talking about a "fat, roly-poly" kid. What if he had been referring to Ben? She hated to think what that bandage could be concealing. But unfortunately, Ben had already figured out what she was looking at.
"Oh," he glanced down at the band aid, "That's nothing. I just had a little run-in—"
"With Bowers," Alicia interrupted, wracking her brain, "Aren't you the—"
"New kid, yeah," Ben finished for her.
Alicia gave him a grim smile, "Don't worry. I was the new kid too once."
"Hey, guys!" Bev yelled from below, "What are you waiting for?"
Alicia took a deep breath before peeling away her shoes and socks and discarding the majority of her clothing.
"Oh no, I am not about to be shown up by another girl!" Richie protested but Bill had already jumped by the time he finished his sentence.
Alicia followed immediately after Bill, feeling a rush of adrenaline as she plunged downward and struck the water. The force of the impact stunned her for a second, but she gave herself a shake and resurfaced with nothing more than a little water in her ears. Ben jumped soon after, then Stan, then Richie, and lastly Eddie. Alicia hung back from the rest at first but Bev soon noticed her and dragged her into their circle.
Richie managed to instigate a chicken fight but other than that they mainly just swam around. Eddie encountered a turtle and it managed to freak him out quite badly. Alicia got a pretty good look at the fascinating creature; she'd never seen one before so she was fairly excited. After they got tired of the water, they all dragged themselves to shore to sun themselves out. Bev had brought herself a blanket and a pair of sunglasses for this express purpose, so while she sunbathed the boys sat around in silence. Alicia managed to find herself a comfortable spot and even managed to doze off for a little while. It was actually the most relaxed she'd been in a long time.
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The boys eventually struck up a conversation, awakening Alicia. She sat up to find Beverly and the others seated in a circle talking history, which Alicia found a rather odd subject for summer break. Ben was apparently fascinated by Derry's past and had been studying it quite a lot before he had become friends with the Loser's Club, which Bill and his friends called themselves. Strangely enough, Alicia thought it was a charming and fitting name for their little group.
Upon Ben's invitation to show them more history-related stuff at his house, they packed up and relocated. As they reached Ben's home, however, Alicia spotted a dark-haired woman stapling a poster to a nearby hydro pole. Alicia's heart sank; what if it was another missing child?
"What if it's Patrick?" Alicia thought suddenly, a knot twisting itself in her stomach, "After all, it's been about 24 hours since..."
She closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths. No, it had never happened. She had imagined the whole thing. Patrick was alive and well, surely.
Abruptly her brain started rattling with the sound of Patrick's screams. She could feel her skin crawling. She started gasping for air as though she were a stranded fish.
"It wasn't real. None of it was ever real. You saw all the missing kid posters and you invented this scenario where you witnessed George and Patrick both being killed by some evil clown. It's not—"
The touch of a hand on her shoulder made her nearly jump out of her skin.
"Whoa, hey, you okay?" Bev asked worriedly.
Alicia gave her head a firm shake.
"Yeah, fine," she insisted.
"Are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"Yes!" Alicia snapped. "Sorry," she added quickly when she saw the look of surprise on Beverly's face.
"You girls c-coming?" Bill asked.
The boys were all standing on the porch watching them expectantly. Alicia nodded quickly, stepping forward.
They all filed into the house. Ben led them through the house until they came to a hallway, where he turned into a side door that was presumably his bedroom. Alicia entered last and was almost convinced that she was walking into her own room. The walls were covered with papers, though not all of them were illustrations.
"Cool!" Richie exclaimed, adding in a dry tone, "No, wait, it's not..."
Ben began explaining how the town of Derry came into existence. It started out as a camp until it was agreed that they should become a town. And it was after everyone had given their signature of approval for the idea that the entire camp disappeared.
"The only clue that was a found was a trail of bloody clothes leading to where the well house is now," Ben finished.
"That creepy house on Neibolt?" Richie asked.
"I've always hated that house. It always felt like it was watching me," Beverly said.
Alicia wasn't too interested in keeping up with the conversation so she began to look more closely at the pictures on the walls. She came to a drawing of the founders of Derry and was about to move on when something strange caught her eye. She pressed her face closer to the paper until she could almost see every single line on it. On the left side of the page there stood an unusual figure. He seemed a little out of place among the rest. He wore a frilly collar around his neck and seemed to stick out in a ridiculous manner, almost like a...
Alicia clenched her fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms. She couldn't deny the word clown had been on the edge of her mind. She fought to rid herself of the idea but as her gaze came to rest of the figure's eyes, she felt the blood drain from her face. She knew those eyes. She could've sworn they were staring right at her in that moment.
Without thinking, she opened her fist and slammed her hand against the wall, drawing everyone's attention.
"Well, what's the matter with you?" Richie asked.
Alicia swallowed hard, her mouth dry.
"I need to get home now," she said hoarsely, "Thanks for the wonderful time."
"If you want you can join us again some..." Bill began, but Alicia's swift strides had already brought her into the hall.
She was out the door in a second, walking purposefully down the lane.
It wasn't until much later that she slowed her rapid pace.
The road she stood on was the same one where she had seen Georgie Denbrough dragged away into the storm drain...or where she had thought she saw Georgie Denbrough dragged away. Of course, it hadn't happened at all.
She dragged her line of sight away from her own feet toward the opposite side of the road. There was the storm drain, just as black and ominous as ever. But there was nothing there, no eyes staring back, no vicious teeth gleaming in the dark.
No Georgie Denbrough in his little yellow raincoat with his arm chewed off...
No matter how uneasy she felt in that moment, Alicia forced herself to laugh. All those ridiculous ideas swirling around in her head would only get her trouble. It was time to let go.
She took a step forward, ready to leave behind that drain and all her foolish imaginings along with it.
"Alicia."
She froze, her gaze fixed determinedly on her shoes.
"It's not real," she said aloud, "It's not real. It's not real."
"What are you afraid of?"
"It's not real. It's not—"
A piece of paper had landed face-down on her foot, seemingly out of nowhere. She picked it up slowly and turned it over.
It was another missing kid poster. Only this time the picture was of Patrick Hockstetter.
It hadn't been just a wishful thought; it hadn't been the hope that there'd be one less person to pull her hair and call her "creep" every time she walked past.
It was real.
Patrick Hockstetter was dead. She had seen him die with her own eyes, just as she had witnessed Georgie Denbrough's demise.
"There's no reason to be afraid anymore. You can join them. You can end it. You can end it all. Then you'll float too."
Alicia turned her head back to look at the storm drain again. It was still dark. There was nothing there. She took a step toward it, then another, and another. She got down on her knees and peered into the drain. It struck her that she was in the exact position Georgie had been in before his untimely death. The missing poster was clutched tightly in one hand. For a full minute, she sat there staring intently.
Then two yellow orbs appeared, practically right in her face. She jumped back, stifling a shriek. The creature stepped forward, allowing the summer light to illuminate his pasty face. He smiled, revealing large rat-like teeth. Upon taking a second look, Alicia realized his eyes had changed to clear blue, and it shocked her how human he looked in that moment.
"Hi, Alicia," he said, sounding almost friendly, "Been having a rough go of things?"
Alicia stared at him, her mouth agape. She hardly knew what to think, let alone say.
"What's wrong? Clown got your tongue?" Pennywise giggled. "I really should be thanking you for all the help."
Alicia found her voice at last, "I never helped you."
"'Course you did. You gave me Patrick. After all," Pennywise said, his smile vanishing, "You wanted him dead, didn't you?"
"I..." Alicia's voice died in her throat.
She couldn't find the words to defend herself.
"But it wasn't just Patrick. It was Georgie too!"
"What? No!" Alicia gasped.
"You could have stopped me from killing him. But you didn't. You stood there and watched him die!"
"I never wanted that to happen!" Alicia cried, tears brimming in her eyes and streaking down her cheeks, "I had nothing against him! I didn't even know him! He was only half my age!"
"But he's still dead, and it's your fault! You know it."
Alicia could do nothing but shake her head and break down into sobs.
"What would Bill say if he knew?"
"No!" Alicia screamed, trying to leap to her feet.
A white-gloved hand shot out of the drain and seized her wrist, yanking her back down. Pennywise's eyes gleamed yellow. He pushed his terrifying face closer to hers.
"You didn't answer the question," he said, his foul breath washing over her, "What. Are you. Afraid of?"
Alicia was staring into his eyes, every thought in her head screaming at her to get away.
She yanked back on her arm as hard as she could and Pennywise's grip amazingly fell away. She was on her feet in a split second, racing down the street without once looking back.
She knew one thing for certain. She could no longer find any comfort in telling herself that it was all just in her head. It wasn't.
It was real.
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