Healthy Habits to Follow

-Eat lots of carbs.

-And sugar. Daily.

-Watch porn.

-Masturbate constantly.

-Exercising is for self-conscious losers, unlike you.

-Energy drinks four times a day.

-Three packs of cigarettes a day.

-Be nice, not kind.

-Unprotected sex with person or persons you just met but with consent.

-Buy alcohol and weed and [insert various types of stimulants of your choice here] even if you are low on money.

-Listen to people who want to [removed] the [removed]-prescribed [removed] family structure and foster a [removed]-affirming network on YouTube.

-Complain about life not going the way you want it.

-Blame all problems on other people.

-Wait until something good happens.

-The cleanliness of your room is ignorable.

-Keep waiting until something good happens.

-Learn the art of the bike lock.