《Amusement Park》Season II: Chapter Ten - Goodbye
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They told me to be myself. Everyone told me to be myself. Yet, that was the problem. I refused to be like everyone around me, and now I'm disqualified from the eyes of many to be acceptable.
Maybe that was too dramatic, but it sounded like it got through the point.
I can't blame my parents for they taught me that the world is a very competitive place. Where the best will bloom and the losers will have to settle at some cheap supermarket for their entire life. But they ended up backtracking from that. They backtracked and now are telling me all the lies I should've known as if they're truths. What kind of world do you live in? You're telling me I can be anything! Why can't I be successful? Why can't I find the job I studied for? You said I'll find a beautiful wife! I found a hoe. A fucking hoe who left me riding on someone else's cock. You said you were proud of me, but I know what you were talking about when the door was closed. How I turned into a fucking loser. And you're saying in one moment how you don't know where it went wrong and the next you're saying it's not a surprise! Which one is it? Did I become a loser or was I born one? And worst of all, nobody is going to care. I'm doing what I can to get away from this shit. I don't have it in me anymore. I was betrayed, I was used, I was thrown away like a used condom. I'm nothing. And I don't matter.
You don't care. None of you do! Look at you. You didn't care. None of you did. Nobody did. I was just another pair of lungs wasting air. I tried to not end up like this. I tried to not only make myself happy but other people too. And what happened was the homeless guy getting angry for not giving him his dollar he expected after I got laid off. And what happened was the woman I married leaving me for someone better. And what happened was Mary from the front desk "borrowing" $300 from me two and a half years ago.
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But did you really care? You're like the rest of them. You're saying that I'm what's wrong. I just wanted a little something back. Maybe some appreciation. Not a single piece of gum. I didn't even like that brand. It loses its taste after five seconds. I bet they carry that brand just to belittle me. They know it loses its taste as quickly as I disappoint those around me. Because what? I said no. I said no ONE FUCKING TIME and now it's thanks to me that their life is ruined. They can't even look at me. How am I supposed to get by? Let everyone step on me like a rug? I don't think anyone will have me around because I tie the room together. I'm an eyesore, as though the mere sight of me will cause distress.
Nobody understands me and nobody wants to. I tried. I really tried. This is goodbye.
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