October 19

My knees started to feel weak as the expanse of stone and metal before me that had once was brought a calm relaxing reading space for me and me alone was now one that brought horror and sadness. As I regained my focus I immediately recognized a single person, Nathan.

I don’t really know how I knew it was him, but maybe on the atmosphere around me had made me be able to register it as him, I still don’t understand this ailment I contain completely. Nathan wasn’t sitting there patiently waiting for me to get here, no, he was standing near the edge of the broken piece of fence that the school should have replaced years ago. Broken, rusted and ripped as it was, it could be bypassed fairly easy with little to no effort.

I then made the attempt to lift my leg up and lazily push forward, but they would not respond to my forced attempts. As if they were not my own but someone that is inside forcing me to stay still.

I tried my best to yell out in concern and curiosity, repeating “Nathan, what are you doing? Were supposed to talk remember, even if it’s small, anything.” I then started to sound hysterical at this point; Nathan wouldn’t even look my way.

“We were going to eat lunch and get to know each other better. Get away from there, it’s not safe.” All my efforts seemed in vain. He still faced the edge of the building, teetering on the loose rubble that seemed to not fall, which is good for me, I still have time.

The rubble started to become loose as he rocked back and forth with his left heel trying to jar the cement little by little every second. My legs slowly started to return control to me as I inched ever so slowly toward where Nathan was standing but not too much to spook him and force his hand.

There was one thing that pounded in my head, one simple question, “Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this?”

“Nate, please tell me why you are standing there? Please give me a response, something. A whisper or even a click of the tongue would suffice for giving me a reason to keep calling out besides just to save a friend. I need a response.” I was roughly three-fourth the way to the ledge, but I felt I didn’t quite try hard enough. The next two seconds gave me this impression. The single event that I knew was a possibility but was the worst possible route that I ever would have wanted to happen. Sadly, I got the response I was looking, a quite loud one, but it wasn’t one I wanted to hear.

“You will cause the end,” that was the last thing he said as he gave one last push with his heel against the cement as it gave way. The most unnerving thing about the situation before me was that he was staring directly at me and muttering the last two words of his recent statement, “the end.”

My mind rushed, mainly my thoughts, and all I could do was fall to the ground and feign ignorance.

I didn’t want to be here.

I didn’t wish for this to happen.

I should have just stayed home.