"...what?"

"I said," Alicia thought, "Is there any way you could kill me?"

Raphael and Luminus stared in shock at her.

"...why would you want that?" Raphael muttered under his breath. " You humans already have short-"

"Every time I die, I go to a different world. I'll be fine. I can forget everything that happened." She paused.

"So what happens to the people I leave behind? Do they live on, confused about my disappearance? Do they forget everything? Do their lives just end?

Whether I'm remembered or not, both outcomes end in pain. If they remember me, they have to tie up my loose ends, endangering them in the process. I'm not dumb, I know I'm more powerful due to my status window. However, I have to abide by the rules of the world I'm in. I have to put a stopper to my own power so the world doesn't get destroyed from the overload of magick use, or in layman's terms, soul magic. I'm reckless because I know I have a net to catch me.

They don't.

If they forget me, then my role was nothing. The people I loved, who I cared about, just forget me, then I'm just the same as a natural disaster. Destroying everything I touch.

So what's the point of living over and over if the only thing I do is bring pain?"

Alicia rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball.

"Please, let me die so it can end. I deserve it."

With a creak, the door opened to the guest bedroom-

To reveal a little grey-haired girl. Not like a grandmother, but silver tinted hair that shimmered in the moonlight. Her long hair was put up into pigtails with black ribbon.

She walked over and lifted Alicia's face, drawing a symbol with her finger on Alicia's forehead.

The little girl spoke softly. "I know you are in pain, Alicia. If you wish, we can always return you to your first life, but-"

"No.” Alicia thought in a panic.

The grey-haired girl smiled slightly. “My name is Thysia. I am the Goddess of Equality and Justice. I have a very special magic, little one, that mortals can not have. Do you know why?”

Alicia was silent.

"Mortals are weak in nature. They cannot be trusted with power. Even so, defying death is quite a feat, isn't it?"

Thysia laughed.

"The ones who deserve the most power are the hurt. After all, not all can survive our trials."

Alicia was confused. "Trials?"

"You know, abuse, loss-"

Alicia lunged at Thysia.

"Who said we wanted power? What about the ones who don't make it through the trials?"

Thysia shoved Alicia's frail body off her and got up. She shrugged her shoulders.

"All humans are selfish, greedy, immoral creatures who will always crave power. I'm just speeding up the process. If they fail in their endeavors, good riddance." Thysia turned around. "Clean yourself up. You look terrible." She walked away.

Even if Thysia's words were harsh, Alicia took them to heart. Perhaps Thysia was right. Octavian was a prime example of an immoral, selfish man. Alicia looked down at herself. Her skin clung to her bones and her grip strength has disappeared. The snow white summer dress now seemed like a hospital nightgown.

She slowly crept over to the corner and curled up, tucking her head in between her knees.

Luminus and Raphael got up and walked toward the door.

"Do you want us to stay?" Luminus asked.

Alicia gave no response.

"We're going to come back soon." He turned off the light.

She screamed.

—

"The light! Where's the light?"

It was as if I had gone blind. I ran around, bumping into invisible obstacles. I needed light. Anything. Anything that told me I wasn't alone. I needed light.

I put my back against a wall and slid down. I pulled at my shirt. It was so hard to breathe, but why? The light! I need the light. Why can't I move? Octavian was right, I can't save anyone, not even myself. Where's the light? I need the light! I don't feel well. I need light.

I giggled.

I'm lightheaded and I need light.

Why are my cheeks wet?

Where's the light?

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

Suddenly, a light shone on me. I looked up, blinded by the sudden brightness.

I was hugged.

Canis leaned back on his knees, getting down on my level. He wiped away my tears off my cheek. He quickly scurried to my bed and back to me, wrapping me in a warm blanket.

It was the first time I had gotten to get a good look at him.

His deep golden eyes were filled with concern, for who I didn't know, but-

"They're so pretty." I murmured.

"What are?" He spoke softly, like if he spoke normally, this peace would shatter.

"Your eyes. It's like looking at.." I hesitated.

"Don't think too hard. It hurts to think." Canis said.

"A supernova."

"A supernova?"

"A supernova."

He smiled slightly then came to sit next to me. We didn't say anything for a while.

"When I was little, my father took me hunting. We'd go and shoot rabbits and deer, normal game. On my 8th birthday, he told me it was time to start a different type of hunting.

He took me to the prison and gave me a small rifle. I didn't really understand what was going on. The guards dragged out a young man, probably there for a night in jail for shoplifting or the such.

My father told me to kill him.

When I refused and ran away, he forced me over a chair and beat me with the base of the rifle.

He tied me to that chair, and had me watch as he killed the poor guy. He then pulled out his intestine and draped it over me and locked the door.

For hours, I had to sit in that man's blood."

He paused.

"He then took me to my room. I was about to go to sleep, seeing as I was eight and it was 1 A.M. But when I was about to fall asleep, He would kick me awake."

He shook his head.

"I now have insomnia. I sleep 12 hours a week."

Canis slowly put his lips on the top of my head, warmth radiating from him.

"I don't know what you've been through. I don't want to imagine it. But, I'm here for you. I know we've met only a day ago, yet I… I can't help but worry about you that I've seen you like this."

"I know, it's pitiful." I said, voice drenched in disdain.

"Not at all. I just… see me in you."

I looked up at him. "What?"

He smiled again, in that sad way that reverberated within me.

"It's like someone caught my tears and the remnants of who I was and created you. I can't help it."

Canis took a deep breath.

"By 'saving' you, I can save him."

"Who's him?"

He chuckled. "My 8-year-old self."

And that, my good friends, is how I found my home.

That damned idiot is my home.