A few hours later we find Seth and Twig walking through a deep, dense forest that is coincidentally located between the village and the big city where King Lacial's castle resides. Many kingdoms have lots of forests between their smaller villages. Some would say that is because the kings probably love nature a lot. However, a more accurate theory is probably that kings cannot be responsible for anything that happens inside dense forests, as well as the towns that lie beyond them. It also makes the world map look a lot less dull.

There isn't an awful lot to say about this forest. Though if you'd really want to, you could always say things like woody, mossy, and at times growy. But those are things never noticed by people who walk through the dense forest. Actually, to best describe a forest, one could use the travelers themselves rather than the Narrator. It saves me, the Narrator, a lot of time and it skips the introduction to the story by a few lines while doing so. Could I have spared you these last three lines then, you might wonder?'

Yes. Yes, I could have.

Seth: It is dark here.

Twig: The darkness isn't what gets to me. It's all those mosquitos that keep flying around us.

(See? That's a lot more efficient, isn't it?)

Seth: How big is this forest anyway?

Twig: Before or after the big twist in the future that will probably change everything you know right now?

Seth: Before?

Twig: It's about a three hour walk from South to North, I think. But if we go look for all the four treasure boxes it'll take about five hours.

Seth: It is useful that you lived here and know exactly what is coming. Is there anything interesting in those boxes?

Twig: Not really. There are some potions, an antidote, and a shirt.

Seth: Who was the previous owner of that particular shirt?

Twig: Trust me, you don't want to know. Hey look over there!

Seth: What is it?

Because of the darkness Seth wasn't able to see that there was a clearing ahead.

Twig: There’s a clearing ahead.

(Why do I even bother?)

Seth: Oh cool, then we can have brunch.

What Seth doesn't know is that the clearing is occupied by a group of fifty or so hungry wolves that attack any and every human they see. The wolves will sneak up on the humans, then chase them a little for fun, and then swipe at their backs with their fierce claws. These strikes have sometimes hit the trees next to the fleeing humans, which in turn slowly made them disappear over the years; and this created the clearing. Thousands of heroes, and the occasional innocent child, who stumble into this clearing die almost instantaneously.

Why would the wolves not spare this child, you might ask? They do it just to show that no one cares about heroes.

Twig: That's the clearing.

Seth: …

Twig: You're paralyzed, aren't you?

Seth: …

Twig: Thought so. Is it the fifty asleep wolves?

Seth shakes his head.

Twig: Odd. Then perhaps what startled you is the wolf that is coming right at us?

Seth shakes his head again.

Twig: Oh... Then maybe it's that small sized mountain of human remains the wolves are sleeping on?

Seth nods.

Twig: Ah yes… I can kind of imagine how that can be disturbing. For a human at least.

Seth: …

Twig: Traumatizing is perhaps the right word. Don't worry, the bones are all cleaned. You won't become ill from walking over them.

Seth: We must hide! That wolf is coming to kill us!

Twig: I guess we should.

The wolf seems to realize that our adventurers are about to back off and increases its pace. There is no more escaping now Seth! The wolf glares at Seth with its mean looking eyes. Then focus its gaze on Twig.

Wolf: 'Sup

Twig: 'Sup.

Wolf: All good?

Twig: 'Aight. You?

Wolf: Bitchin'

Twig: Word.

The wolf turns around and walks back to his bros

Seth: That was-

Twig: Jimmy. He's mah bro.

Seth: Do you always talk like this?

Twig: Only to Jimmy. And only when there are no humans around of course.

Seth: And I am the exception that proves the rule?

Twig: You're alive, aren't you?

Seth: I thought wolves just did not like wet pants. I deliberately did that because I thought it would scare him off.

Twig: A cunning strategy. But no, that wouldn't have changed the outcome much.

Seth: So, who are my enemies then when I am with you? Other goblins? Humans?

Twig: Don't be racist. There are plenty of creatures in any sort and form that want to kill us both indiscriminately.

Seth: That is a relief.

Twig: Are you listening to what you're saying sometimes?

Seth: It is just-

We interrupt this whining and character building and philosophies for your reading pleasure. Also, because King Lacial demands it and well... in His words: "Cuz I'm king, duh."

Meanwhile at the Castle

King Lacial is looking out of his window, watching a cozy little bonfire where small children are playing a common game. The King can hear music coming from the cozy bonfire and when the music stops, the children has to find a chair to sit on. There is always one chair less than the amount of children in a round, so one will always lose the game.

King Lacial: Look at all those children outside Servant.

Servant: Does it remind you of your time as a kid, King Lacial?

King Lacial: Not really. You know very well that the moment I could write, I wrote up a law that skipped my entire childhood and puberty.

Servant: Oh yes. I totally forgot about that.

King Lacial: Yeah. The mages told me it was the aftermath of that Law. Apparently, you guys forgot eleven years of your lives.

Servant: My diary told me I had a wife back then... She apparently went overseas when your law was enforced.

King Lacial: If I wanted to hear complaints, I'd be bloody sitting in my bloody royal chair listening to those bloody commoners right now Servant.

Servant: I'm sorry Sir.

King Lacial: Sir what?

Servant: Sir Conqueror of Time, Master of Death, Slayer of Cowards, Almost God Lacial.

King Lacial: That's better. You know I don't like to be called Sir.

Servant: That is indeed why you set out that punishment to stop people calling you that.

King Lacial: Yeah. I don't like it when people think I might be self-absorbed. You know my ego is only as big as when one considers the universe moderately sized you know.

Servant: I cannot possibly agree more King Lacial.

King Lacial: I'm glad you know your place so well Servant. Would you like a donut?

Servant: Just a moderately sized one please.

King Lacial: Narrator? Please carry on.

We have now gained permission to continue our story once more. So, we will go right back to where we left off with our adventurers.

Seth: - never-ending cycle of misery and depression, you know?

Twig: Sure, I get that. But that still wouldn't explain why pixies would attack beavers unprovoked though.

(I might have had the timing wrong a little. Ah well. It's Monday you know... Mistakes and Mondays usually start off the same way: sloppy and lazy! (and with an M).)

Seth: I guess you are right. That might have been all in my head.

Twig: What you said about the meaning of life was exactly what people need to hear though.

Seth: I know right? It would totally change their lives and introduce world peace immediately, but let us not talk about that again ever. It makes me blush.

Twig: Fine by me. Hey, we reached the edge o' the forest. I think you can see the city now.

Seth: Yeah, of course! I have not been there before but that enormous building to the east must be the King's Castle! And... Are children dancing into that bonfire?

Twig: It's a game the kids learned from their king. He doesn't like losers. Only winners may live.

Seth: Does that theory actually work?

Twig: Nah, sometimes all the children are losers. But at least a better ratio of winners-losers this way.

Seth: Still, it sounds evil…

Twig: You're ten! Not everything is black and white you know!

Seth: I suppose I have to take your word on that... for now. Wait until I turn twelve. I will ponder over this subject once more!

Twig: Just keep your eyes out for true enemies. We entered what we call Neutral territory.

Seth: Does that mean everyone will attack each other?

Twig: No, but it does mean that anyone can attack us without punishment. It's to make sure no one wants, or dares, to leave the country without risking death.

Seth: And this is still not considered evil by anyone?

Twig: Nope!

Seth: My head hurts.

Twig: Is it so hard to keep up with this logic?

Seth: No, it is that leather purse thing. Where did that come from?

Twig: We're under attack!

Just five feet away from them, a little old lady is glaring fiercely through her thick glasses, trying to size up her enemies.

Granny: You stole my apples!

Seth: Your what? Ouch! Stop hitting me!

Twig: Try to dodge those hits, I'll try to hit her knees with my knife.

Twig sprints towards the ol' Granny, but the knife of Twig appears to have no effect on the fleshy parts of the legs of the granny.

Twig: What trickery is this?

Seth: Are you not afraid she will hear you speak now?

Twig: Nah look at her ears. They are replaced by leaves.

Seth: I see…

It is now Seth's turn to attack. He pulls out his Wand of More or Lesserness, and charges at the granny to poke one of her eyes out. Unfortunately, this has no effect. The wand only scratches the granny's glasses a little. Seth takes a good look at his opponent. He can see the granny’s eyes has been replaced by newts, and the glasses by two tiny porcelain cups; giving a huge fortification bonus.

Twig: She's a monster! My knives couldn't pierce through her skin. She's so old her flesh might have aged more than dragon scales! And even those are almost impossible to scratch!

Seth: Do not panic! We still have four rounds left before I kick the bucket! Ouch!

Twig: We don't have a bucket around! Also, a bucket won't do much damage I'm afraid.

Seth: Shush, it is only a manner of speaking!

Granny: Where is my Grandson? Stewie? Where are you?

Twig throws his knife towards the Granny, which has no effect either. Then he equips his slingshot and picks up a few rocks in the hope that he will at least bruise the ol' Granny. In the meantime, Seth is thinking of a plan.

Twig: Even the rocks have no effect. The cobwebs on her clothing appears to stop and/or absorb all the projectiles from my slingshot!

Seth isn't speaking. He is rummaging through his little knapsack and doesn't seem to react to the Granny's handbag that is hitting his head every twenty or so seconds.

Twig: Seth, what are you doing?

Seth: Done! Watch me as I have prepared my strongest spell! Quiver in fear evil Granny for I am casting: Fireball!

A massive fireball comes out of the Seth's wooden Ex-Sword of More or Lesserness. Hitting the ol' Granny and inflicting... one single point of damage.

Seth: That was a little anticlimactic.

Twig: That's because of the Narrator... You set your stick on fire and threw it at her.

I was more fond of my own explanation. And so were you, right Seth?

Seth: Pretty much…

Twig: We're doomed.

But wait! Aren’t you guys forgetting something?

Seth: No? And since when are we aware that you are around?

Well... You aren't... Technically... Let's just say you will not be aware of it afterwards…

Twig: That's a relief. It's annoying.

I don't criticize your job as a punching bag for first level heroes, do I?

Twig: Touché…

Anyway... Seth's fiery... bally... stick of fire hit the granny's shirt, and thereby also the cobwebs which are immune to physical attacks.

Twig: So?

Cobwebs are extremely flammable!

Twig: That's awesome!

Indeed it is, Little Twiglet.

Twig: Hey!

I said before that you'd soon forget about me and anything I say.

Twig: Grr.

Granny: Can somebody open a window? It is getting rather hot in here.

The granny screams, PG9-style, out in pain. Which is just like PG18, but without all the blood and rotten flesh splattering about. And over the course of about fifteen minutes, the granny slowly burns to ashes. Victory for Seth and Twig who coincidentally also instantly forgot about me!

Seth: Wow, we did it! We killed our first true opponent!

Twig: Yeah! Hurray!

Unfortunately for Seth and Twig, the murder of a seemingly innocent grandmother does not go unnoticed. A few men, who live close to the castle, noticed Seth and Twig's display of singular genocide!

Man1: Did that little kid just beat up a defenseless little elderly woman?

Man2: He totally did! And that elderly woman was my grandmother!

Man1: No way! She was my grandmother too! Does that make us brothers?

Man2: I suppose.

Man1: Let's celebrate in the tavern that we're family then!

Man2: Sounds like a plan, let's go and totally forget about this kid!

Twig: Heh... You were totally ignored.

Seth: Yeah... Though I get a feeling this event will not be too heavy on my conscience and haunt me in my dreams... That granny would though.

Twig: But now we have a problem. As we have to go through this city…

Seth: Is that so hard?

Twig: No... But I'm a goblin, and humans are racists.

Seth: I have an idea for that though…

Twig: Oh? What are you doing? No, What? Noo!

And with this we end this exciting second chapter of Spellbent.

For those who are interested in statistics:

Seth has gained 6 experience points from his first kill: a Granny.

Usually when heroes do their best by repeatedly slaying some rabbits and mice, they would have gained a few hundred experience points and leveled up like once or twice so…

Current Seth Status: Screwed.

Seth: Hey!

Oh sorry!

Current Seth Rating: Plenty of room for improvement.

Seth: That's better.