Every story needs an end. No matter how awesome a story is, the ending is what makes it worth telling. So even if a story like this one has taken years to finalize, here it is: The ending.

Are you done?

Writer: Not yet.

All right, I will wait then...

Writer: Good, thanks. Some stories are so incredibly long and dull that eventually they will be considered 'Epic', while other dull stories are meeting their end before they are written. For the fortunate fans, the ending happens just between starting to become terrible and ending up being annoyingly terrible. With Seths' story I have never been sure which end of the infinitely sided straw I have pulled, but it does not matter. This is the end.

Right so before this story becomes annoyingly terrible, can I talk now?

Writer: ... Go ahead.

Great! Thanks! So we meet Seth on the west side of the Lake of... Uhm, which is located far west of the Kingdom of... What? He is standing along with his goblin companion Twig, and his less goblin-like companion Voice, in a perfect pickle: a battle with a formidable pixie! Not to be confused with a true pixie. Actually, this is getting rather confusing... All these stupid laws... I don't care anymore! I'm going to call it a dragon from now on! And none of you can stop me!

As I said, Seth, Twig and Voice are standing ready to battle a formidable dragon! Who could ever imagine that a heavily under-leveled prepubescent boy would stand off against one of the most rare and formidable creatures of this realm? Sure, you could say that he hasn't met the most rare creature, namely the Tricornbeetle, found only on monday mornings when the sun decides to come up from the north side of the world. But a dragon does sound more scary than the distant ancestor of the unicorn; who has been extinct from Seth's world for centuries.

Meanwhile at the Castle.

Everyone is preparing themselves for the arrival of King Lacial who has made a short trip to the docks at the salty sea north of the Village of... Uhm, only to find himself in one of the biggest wars he has ever been into. But let's not get ahead of ourselves and move towards Seth's fight with the dragon first. So...

Meanwhile at Seth, Twig, Voice and the Dragon!

Wow. I have been talking so much I have two stories to cover. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Dragon:

So, weak little boy and his two tiny friends,

what shall it be?

I can roast you instantaneously,

But I've got time on my hands.

Seth: ...

Twig: ...

Voice: Sure I can rhyme, I do that all the t-

Dragon:

First rule of this confrontation:

There will be no cliché rhyme creation

When it comes to word combination.

This will save you humiliation.

Twig:

Why is this dragon so polite?

This just doesn't sound right!

Seth: Perhaps battling is not his strong suit?

Voice: Yeah, I am sure anyone without power would.

Dragons:

Fools! This way my power is confined.

I grant a fair chance to win this fight!

I am stronger than the three of you combined.

Levels the playing field, am I right?

Can I join as well? It sounds fun!

Twig:

Like hell!

All you can do is tell!

Seth: Let us run!

Dragon:

I will not allow you to flee.

You cannot escape from me!

Voice: So when does a side win or lose?

Dragon:

I have not figured that out yet.

Let you live and take that goblin as my pet?

Or gobble you up, you choose.

Seth:

That does not sound fair at all!

Can you actually swallow me up whole?

Dragon:

Sure, I find you quite appetizing,

But I will grant you a gift:

Your death will be swift,

The speed of which I will eat you, will be mesmerizing.

Twig: Just try to kill or eat me as many times as you want.

Dragon: Are you implying that I can't?

Twig: You can kill me a thousand times, as I am able to respawn.

Voice: And you claim to be brains over brawn?

Seth: Please do not kill him, do not fall for his taunt!

Dragon: Indeed, I was testing how dear that goblin was to you.

Seth: Of the goblin, I am quite fond.

Twig: Yeah yeah. I love ya too.

Voice: Twig is right though, once he dies he will teleport out of the dragon's tummy.

Twig: Yup if he doesn't realize it he'll be too hungry to call for his mummy.

Dragon:

Thank you for the heads up.

Just don't assume I won't eat you at all.

But in priority you will not be at the top.

Seth could be first, your call.

Seth: And what if it is not death that we pick?

Dragon: I am most curious how you can trick?

Twig: What if we get the narrator to intervene?

Great plan Twig! I'll start the cutscene!

Meanwhile at the Castle.

We find King Lacial on the brink of war and destruction. His Servant was not there to help him, as he was too busy handling his wifes' abduction.

King Lacial:

Looking out my window,

All that I can see,

Is a thousand men strong army

About to attack me.

...

Talking to myself is boring as hell,

I wish my Servant was back so I had a decent excuse to yell.

...

Narrator, please do entertain me for the time being.

Why of course, do you want me to read you a story or something?

King Lacial: No, that won't be necessary. Stories makes me have a great difficult time processing dairy.

Well you do have a whole army to attack, shouldn't you inform the masses?

King Lacial: My janitors are on vacation and won't be back in a while, and my soldiers are in culinary master classes.

Ah, good nutrition is quite vital in war indeed.

King Lacial: It also saves casualties outside war because they foolishly kept eating raw flamingo meat. Delinquents as they are, I'm quite fond of everyone.

So who will be defending the kingdom, oh handsome one?

King Lacial: I could ask Richard and my queen, Eve, to battle the legions of my enemies once more.

But aren't Queen Eve and Richard people you adore?

King Lacial: No, Queen Eve is a guy with a portable magic device, and Richard is afraid of mice.

What does that have to do with your current situation?

King Lacial: Knowing those two little facts will distract me with an enormous contemplation. Also, those statements I made were lies.

So you will fight them on your own?

King Lacial: But then I will lose my whole evil alignment renown!

Let's be fair though, have you ever been truly evil?

King Lacial: Not according to the law I will introduce when they read aloud my will.

Maybe you could send Seth instead?

King Lacial: I doubt it. That dragon he's fighting will most probably kill him dead.

So why not use your power to save him?

King Lacial: I flipped a coin. Seth didn't win.

Well that's life.

Meanwhile back at Seth. Twig, Voice and the Dragon!

Twig: I'm tired of rhyming. Sorry Seth, you're toast.

Oh no, Twig. You broke the chain!

Twig: Things have to end someday and I suppose this is it. It's been a pleasure knowing ya, but this is where our journey together ends. I'll go back to my wife before she disappears and another season appears.

Seth: Well, I guess I cannot win every fight. Farewell Twig and Voice. It has been a pleasure.

Voice: So long Seth. Goodbye!

Seth: It would have sounded more sincere if you and Twig was not running away from me while saying it.

Twig: Heh.

Dragon:

How touching, I'll admit,

though surprised how quickly you submit.

I suspected this to suspend,

and even drag out your pitiful end.

Some tears of woe,

Perhaps even a hero,

Coming the last second to save you,

But there is no one to the rescue?

Seth: Nope. I am all alone now. Just get it over with quickly please.

Dragon: Very well.

The sky turns almost pitch black and the dragon prepares himself to unleash a huge wave of fire that will annihilate everything in its path. Poor Seth. But wait! What is this? The moment the dragon spews out an incredible fiery mass, a bright white light comes down from the heavens and cast its brilliant rays upon Seth!

Seth: What?! Huh? *gargle*

Never mind the brilliant light! Gallons and gallons of pigeon droppings drop from the dark cloud above Seth and the dragon. Even though it is flammable, it's not as hot as the dragon's fire and Seth has almost no trouble swimming out of the liquid mass!

Dragon: Disgusting! Ow! What was that?

I can tell you if you like!

Dragon: Please do.

A wooden sword fell from the sky just as the pigeon poo did and fell on the dragon's back, dealing a single point of damage!

Dragon: ... I can take 1599 more of those. Hah!

There are 2100 pigeons.

Dragon: Aw Cra-

-No, they left that to shield Seth from your fire.

Dragon: Noooooo!

Before long, the dragon is completely pierced through. Seth is the winner of this insane duel!

Seth: Yay!

However, all of the experience points go to... your ex-wife Yuna! She obviously sent all of the pigeons. You could have guessed that right?

Seth: ... Bullocks! Now I have to re-marry that girl for sure.

Probably. Also Twig and Voice returned. How very considerate of them...

Twig: Yeah, well... We saw that pigeon poo coming from a mile away.

Voice: Yeah Seth, how could you not see it fall from the sky?

Twig: Like we'd leave you to your utter demise after everything that we have been through?

Seth: Aww, that is so sweet you guys. I really thought you would leave me to die alone from the fire of the dragon.

And with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, Seth starts to move onward to his next great adventure.

Writer: Too cheesy.

Nu-huh.

Current combat levels of our heroes:

Seth: 11

Twig: 1

Yuna: 38

Voice: *

Pigeons: Passive agressivity level 0

*This statistic has been removed due to a disagreement between the writer and Voice.

Writer: Oh, you're still here? This is the end by the way. Not sure why any of the other characters didn't announce it, so I guess I have to. Um... I'm terrible at speeches so... Hurray for Seth for surviving and... See you back here for the sequel! This is why I have a narrator, you know. But he... Left I suppose? So now it's up to me, I guess. Um... Yeah... Bye!

- Fin -