Their sickening chants and crass corals were enough to make any sane Individual contemplate not-alive. I can only hope that its destination is not the same as ours.

We quickly arrive to procure the Cheese Wheel, but that damned Bard of Bands…

It’s here as well!

“SSSSSS!” Snek hisses their displeasure, while the Demi Human just stands around. Still in a state of utter confusion. Despite all the big talk, I really couldn’t rely on her could I?

But of course, at least we have Ghost Captain. And Captain, being a responsible adult, was already about to cut down the bastard.

“Nice party you fellows have here. No need to draw your sword, my good sir! How about I regale a tale from afar? It’s a long way till the nearest outpost,” Nat 20. Fuck.

The sheer charisma of this silver tongued bastard is enough to convince us to lay down our arms and sit around the Cheese Wheel. I’m not sure how it placated us, but I just know that I suddenly don’t feel like killing the Bard anymore.

*Clap!*

“Now then wayfarers! How about a little story, aye?”

The Bard asks the question only to answer themselves in a squeaky, “Aye!” Hand outstretched as if in salute. A mock display to the accoutred Captain.

However, heedless of the Captain’s glowering, the Bardstard throws a dusting of Bands on us. The elastic kind. These Bands however… weren’t kosher!

Completely inedible and 100% toxic.

Not to mention that these Bands were not made for the common Laypeople but for the God awful Paper Pushers! It presented no value, but in the palm of a Paper Pusher it provided limitless possibilities. The Bard was subtly mocking us by flaunting such a prestigious Item that we would never be able to use…

Real Scum this guy was. If he doesn’t pass the next persuasion check you can bet your ass I’ll knock him out.

Unfortunately, the previous Roll was still affecting my animate companions. Even if he failed the next check, only I would be in any position to combat them. Damn. If only Door was here. They would murder this Bard in a jiffy, comprehensively breaking every bone in their body, before moving onto their line, followed by an arsonry and mass genocide.

Only individuals capable of such feats could be considered reliable. But Captain had shunned them simply due to a mild personality defect…

What a waste…

That’s simply all I can say. What a waste. It simply wasn’t in my jurisdiction to herald any other outcome.

They don’t know it yet, but we’ve already fallen prey to this conniving Bard. Not many know, but a Bard is actually a Subclass under the Paper Pusher umbrella and with this one specialising in Bands, this made for a deadly combination. The seemingly harmless Rubber Bands were strewn about and with his tactful guile, the Bard kept the other's perception away from the coiling Bands.

Like a Piper, the Bard had the Bands strike, broadening themselves to then clamp down on our more physical companions.

Actually. Let me add non physical as well.

This was too unholy for me. It seems my danger assessment was incorrect. The Bardstard was evolving…

“Hah! Take this!”

Evolving backwards that was.

With a superb nat 1, the Bard picked up one of the coiling Bands before aiming at Snek with a Band entrenched finger gun. Leasing the Band, it flew backward, landing a critical strike on the User and inflicting a stunned status effect.

Naturally, with his guile and tact gone, Captain immediately skewed the Bard. No longer under the effect of any charm the strike was hard and fast.

But! He had some strange Belt which took the hit for them, allowing them to avoid a Death Roll. Out of action points, Captain was at a standstill. Only able to glare at them menacingly.

“HSS!” Slithering beyond their notice, Snek comes from left field with an amazing death coil!

And— We kill the Bard… We killed the Bard…

Wow, he instantly failed that Death Roll. Isn’t it usually a 1 in 20 chance? I was expecting us to need to kill them at least nineteen more times.

“Thissss Bard sseemeth hast an Attribute allowing the ssole utilisssation of coin flipsss as crossed to the standard D20,”

“My lord… That’s scary,”

Oh my… Indubitably so.

“Uhmm, Deetwenty?”

No. Coin.