《The Fat Prince Volume 2: A Hero Among Thieves》Chapter 3
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Trinity took a neatly manicured finger and put it to her lip in a pose of extreme innocence. “How do you know my name?” She asked with a rise in her already high voice.
“I-I’m…” Cyrus stuttered. He looked nervously at Archibald and Van who both gave him looks of “well, go ahead.” Though he could swear Van looked a bit more self satisfied when she looked at him.
“I’m Prince Cyrus Coates, Trinity. I’m the one who’s been sending you letters expressing my utmost devotion to your hand.”
As Cyrus gushed over the last sentence it caused Vanessa to give a huge eye roll and look aside.
Cyrus’ words caused the Princess to do a double take. Her dark pupils shrank in her wide blue eyes.
“You’re my suitor?” she squeaked. “You’re the one who’s been sending me those words of Iam perfection?
“Uh…uh…”Cyrus looked to Van and Archibald, but the latter was laughing and Van had a slightly sadistic smile stretched on her face.
“Yes…” Cyrus said in exasperation from his flurried emotions.
Trinity clasped her hands together. “You have such a handsome face and it’s lovely at this angle too.”
“Uh what,” Cyrus said dumbfounded from the anxiety of talking to a beautiful girl. He glanced up and realized he was holding the magic mirror high over his head, minimizing his double chin from that angle. “Why thank you,” he said with sudden confidence. “A compliment from her grace is the highest honor a man can receive.”
Trinity gave a tiny gasp before she smiled a warm smile. “My prince, you are as gracious as your letters.”
Archibald finding the situation funny chuckled further as Van stuck out her tongue with a resounding blegh and threw her head back.
Trinity perked up and took notice. “Who is that gagging off in the distance?” She asked. “It sounds like my noble knight who vomits over yonder!”
Cyrus turned the mirror to Van and handed it to her. “Where have you been?!” Van demanded in her harsh accented voice. “Isn’t telling us that information a little more important than flowery poetry and coy flirting?”
“Relax my noblest knight. I am in no harm,” the princess said calmly. “The owner of this mansion has been treating me with the utmost care and compassion. They just want me to be the host for their dinner later this week. Of course I agreed. How could an upper class lady not be so kind?”
“You what?!” Van exclaimed “They’re vampires! You’re literally going to be their host...to eat.”
“Oh dear,” Trinity squeaked and raised her hands to her face. “I had no idea.”
“Don’t worry,” Cyrus yelled to the mirror. “I’ve organized a team to save you! Just as I’ve pledged to always protect you, my dearest sincerest.”
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“I always knew you were a heroic prince,” Trinity said with a bright red blush.
Cyrus grabbed the mirror from Van to look into his beloved’s eyes. She spoke with a bashful look on her face as she saw him. “Cyrus I promise you when you arrive and rescue me, I will give you the biggest, wettest, most sweetest kiss…on the cheek.”
‘On the cheek?” Cyrus muttered, slightly disappointed.
“My dad says lip kisses are for the betrothed, but trust me, with your words as sharp as a thousand archers arrows piercing my fragile heart, your looks as radiant as a super nova, and your heroism as heroic as the heroes of old, betrothal is only the next step in the storybook romance of Prince Coates and Princess Toccatta…eek!”
Trinity jumped with the creaking sound of the door. “My captors are coming. Goodbye my sweet prince! Goodbye Vanessa.” Trinity blew a kiss and faded leaving Cyrus to sigh and blush. “I love you too Trinity,” he sighed.
“My eyes could roll so hard they’d roll out of my head…” Van groaned “but at least she’s ok.”
Archibald wrapped his hands around a sighing Cyrus’ shoulder. “And that twinkle in her eyes, my boy, is what makes all the adventuring worth it.”
“I thought it was building character and self reflection and all that,” Van interjected.
“Ya really think that’s going to get through to a hormonal teenage boy? Not at this stage of his life!”
“I’m so glad that I’m above such boyish tomfoolery,” Van said returning to her knight voice. “I may look like one but I’m truly above…”
“Oh Trinity…” Cyrus said with a whimper. “She looks even more luscious when she moves.”
“Will you cut it out!” Van shouted her face blushing red and her hand balled in a fist, scarcely meditating if she should punch him or not.
“What were you saying?” the Majester asked with a cheeky grin. “Unless you’re the great sky..you’re above no one.”
Archibald started to nudge Van’s ribs and raise and lower his eyebrows. “Especially in the game of love.”
Vanessa turned up her nose and pursed her lips in disgust. “Love? I say peh, even if that’s not a word. I have my family crest to uphold by saving the princess. I have no time for love. How about instead of making a jest of me, you tell us where we’re headed, you bloody rake.”
“Well I didn’t want to say where we’re going or else I’d scare Cyrus.”
“Say what?!” Cyrus exclaimed breaking out of his love struck stupor. “Cyrus the Magnificant survived an encounter with an Everblood. He’s not scared of anyone!”
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“Good,” Archibald said with his hands crossed, “So I’m sure you won’t break a sweat when I mentioned we’re entering Scum County.”
“Scum County?” Cyrus asked. “Where have I heard that name before?”
Archibald’s face grew stern and his voice grew deep and ominous. “A county…of scum and villainy and one of the few areas in this kingdom where your parents don’t exactly have the love of the people.”
“Are you kidding me?” Cyrus exclaimed “My parents are awesome. What could they have possibly done?”
Archibald narrowed his eyes and pulled Cyrus close. “I don’t want you repeating this to Richard and Victoria, but for the longest time the Coates kingdom depended on the rich mines of Scum County for ore and pixie dust.”
“So,” Cyrus scoffed. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Well let’s just say a certain son of theirs discovered the wonders of the extremely hard-to-find pixie dust and for his parents, it was either they make him happy or face a shortage for the rest of the kingdom. It was Victoria who convinced her husband they could have both.”
“See! My parents rock! They always know what to do,” Cyrus said pumping his fist.
“They could have both things…as long as they sent a squadron of knights to Scum County to enforce a new set of laws.”
“And they were?”
“Longer hours of mining with little compensation. From now on, the people of Scum County worked from morning to night in order to scour the mines in search of that elusive dust.”
Cyrus stopped what he was doing when heard Archibald’s words. “Did my parents really do that?”
“Just the sacrifices they make to keep you happy, princeykins. Let’s just say the Don was furious and so was everyone else who lived there. Remember that bandit? What he said was the truth, princey.”
The Majester’s face turned grim and he glared at Cyrus, cutting him to the bone. “The needs of the few outweigh the many when kings and queens say so. Underneath its kingly robe and crown, Monarchy has a truly ugly face.”
Archibald didn’t say another word, leaving Cyrus and Van in silence. This silence choked Cyrus out, making him realize what he had done. Archibald looked colder and cynical than Van even, who just had a look of bewilderment on her face as if to say, “I never knew Monarchs were capable of that kind of corruption.”
“Archibald,” Cyrus chimed in. “Are you angry with me?”
The Majester closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “No…” he said in a calm voice. “Cyrus, I know you’re just a kid and it’s not your fault. I guess I’m just angry about monarchy in general.”
“Why?”
Archibald turned his head to gaze up at the night sky. His voice resounded deep and enlightened from the years he lived and the experiences he endured. “There’s a rust setting in beneath the jeweled scepters in both kingdoms. Those who bear them choose to ignore it.”
“Well,” Cyrus responded candidly. “Why doesn’t someone polish it? Clear all that rust away?”
Archibald broke from his stern glare to loudly blurt out in his comedic voice. “Hey! That’s what I thought.”
Archibald grabbed Cyrus’ hand and stood up lifting the fat prince off his log. “And it’s up to you, future royal, to polish it! Will you?”
Cyrus looked up at his friend, a little flustered by Archibald’s question before he made his decision. “I will.”
Archibald grinned brightly. “Will you do it in the name of Tomfoolery? After all, if a fool like me can see there’s something not right with the world, so can you.”
“Uh I guess,” Cyrus responded. “That part I’m not sure about.”
Archibald ignored him and lifted his hand. “Do you say, I swear in the name of tomfoolery and numbskullery I will make the world a better place?”
“I…”
“Cyrus, I don’t know why you’re hesitating,” Vanessa said in her sly accented voice. “You swear in those names all the time.”
“Hey!” Cyrus yelled.
“I want you to get up here too, knighty,” Archibald commanded. “Not even little chicas like you are immune to numbskullery.”
Vanessa looked upward. “Well, I want to help the world too,” she said, her voice still soft in spite of the beard.
“Well then, both of you rise, take my hand and boldly proclaim, ‘I swear in the name of tomfoolery and numbskullery that I will make the kingdoms a better place.’”
The two teens no longer felt anxiety and said the words in unison. Cyrus could tell Archibald was elated. “And now we make a silly face to complete the pact.”
All three of them stuck out their tongues and bugged out their eyes. Cyrus felt silly but he could see that what he was doing meant the world to his good friend. He didn’t like to see Archibald angry; it just didn’t feel right. The three retired for the night but as Cyrus laid on the grass, he realized the truth. There were no perfect monarchs, not even his parents, and sometimes only fools could see that.
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