[Saturday 17th April 2010]

Saturday day, I spent studying but managed to pass out for a few hours’ sleep on my sofa. I was utterly exhausted. Come nightfall; I was back at the Omen with Theresa and Lindsay, but the forty winks barely improved how tired I felt from being so severely sleep-deprived.Theresa had told Lindsay to get over what had happened the night before, saying that she had it coming because she should not have assumed that Cole could not possibly have been interested in me.

The night passed, and we did the usual things; dancing, drinking, having a laugh, but when it came time for everyone to turn out at two am, I stopped dead in my tracks as I exited the club’s front doors. Parked directly across the street sat the blue Peugeot, again, but what was so striking about its appearance this time was that its mysterious driver wasn’t sat in the driver’s seat watching me from out the window. No, he was stood outside, leant against the car door, clothed in all black and smoking and waiting for me. I never saw his face. I turned on my heels in an instant, explaining to Theresa and Lindsay that I had left my phone inside the club and I was going back inside to find it. Confused and stuttering they wished me good night hastily and were on their way home.

As the club emptied, I was relieved that I made it across the dance floor and to the bar in time to catch Cole clocking off. Slamming my shaking hands down onto the bar, I got his attention instantly. I had no idea what the look on my face must have been like, but I was hysterical. “Meet me where we were last night.” With my invite made, I disappeared and marched towards the cleaning closet. I wasn’t alone in there for long when Cole arrived. This time I had used my phone to light up the small space.

“Ana, what’s going on?” He asked the second the door was closed behind him. Although the room was cramped, he didn’t approach me, but he was inevitably only a few feet away even though he had his back pressed against the door.

“You wanted to know what’s been wrong with me?” I pausing to gauge his face before I continued. “I’m being stalked,” I explained, flustered so my words rushed from my lips so quickly it was a wonder he caught what I’d said. “I’ve been being followed by a car for almost a month. When I left to go home just now, he was parked out front waiting for me. He wasn’t watching me through the window like before, this time, he was outside the car…” Just like that, I spoke my situation into reality, and the nightmare somehow took life before my eyes. It became so real that I lost it right in front of him! I no longer had the strength or energy to be brave and crashed to the floor awkwardly, unable to hold back my tears. “I’m so so scared... What if he hurts me? What if he kil-” I had barely hit the tiles when I found myself held tightly in Cole’s arms. I buried my face into his chest and wept uncontrollably.

“Shh. It’s alright. I’m here. You’re safe.” He said, smoothing the back of my hair with his hand.

“But you’re not always. I’m not always safe. I- I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Have you told anyone? Your friends? The police?” Cole asked as he cupped my cheeks like he had the night before and made me look up at him despite my embarrassment about my tear stained face.

“No, the police wouldn’t care anyway. They’re only interested in protecting... certain people.” I said, dancing around the real reason.

“Certain people?” Cole asked, and I just nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him because I didn’t want him to suddenly see me differently. I didn’t want to be a freak in his eyes. Surely if he knew my secret, he would run away and leave me alone again, and despite how complicated our non-relationship already was, right then, I needed him. “Ana… Just say what you really mean.” The look in his eyes confused me; it was as if he already knew, and he just wanted me to admit it.

“Th- they only protect… Mortals.” I whispered. My eyes were wide and still trickling tears as I stared up into his handsome face. I was no longer scared of my stalker, but I was terrified to lose Cole, and he wasn’t even anything to me, nothing that I could put a name to at least.

“And you’re not, are you?” He asked sensetively, and again I just shook my head in reply. “You’re an elf.”

“What? Ho- How do you know that?” My finger’s clung to the front of his shirt as I shifted to kneel before him. I searched his face, desperate for answers. How do you know my deepest secret?

“Ana, I’ve always known… I can smell it.” Cole’s explanation did little to satisfy me; I was still just as confused. Before we could continue, we were interrupted by someone calling out his name into the chasm of the empty club. The building was about to be locked up, and whoever yelling for him knew he was still inside. “We should get out of here. Come with me, and I’ll explain. We can talk this out, okay?”

I silently agreed and with my hand nestled into Cole's we left the cleaning closet and walked across the club. Cole grabbed his jacket from behind the bar and led me to the back exit, all while never letting go of my hand. I could not help to stare at our clasped fingers, I wanted to shift my hand about in his, to feel over every inch of his palm and fingers and enjoy how the feeling of security burned through me when I was this close to me; I couldn't not explain it, accept to assume it was chemical.

The colleague was waiting to lock up, shot Cole a look I could not read when he saw us walking out together. Out in the small carpark behind the club, I recognised Cole’s car straight away. I was acquainted with the passenger seat, and I greeted it as a friend.

Moments later we peeled out onto the main road. I had planned on keeping my eyes focused on the dashboard, but curiosity got the better of me, and when we passed by the front of the club, I glanced out of the window to see that the blue Peugeot had given up its vigil and disappeared.

The drive to Cole’s apartment wasn’t far, but I didn’t fight to keep my eyes off him, unlike the other times I had been around him. I kept glancing his way to commit all of his features to memory. The shape of his strong brow and how it sat over his kind hazel eyes that stared at the road ahead in concentration. The line of his nose, his supple lips, the angle of his jaw and the dark blond stubble he had allowed to grow on his chin. Under the checked shirt he was wearing, a navy-coloured vest clung to his abdomen, teasing at what was beneath. His long legs stretched towards the pedals in the footwell, and his arm reached towards the gear stick while he kept hold of the steering wheel. The tattoos on his arms coloured the taut skin over his muscle beneath.

“Ana, you’re staring.”

“I know.” I did not stop even as I admitted it. “You know what I am, and you don’t hate me?”

“Of course not.” He assured, shotting me a charming smile.

“Okay, pull over,” I demanded.

“What? We’re almost there…” He seemed disappointed by my request and didn’t understand why I had made it.

“Just… Pull over, please.” I turned in my seat to show him I was deadly serious.

“Ana, come on, it's two in the morning. I can’t just pull over and let you out here. At least let me take you home if you don’t want to-” He could not look at me as he spoke, save for brief glances because he had to keep his focus on the road.

“Cole, pull the fuck over.”

“Okay, okay, I’m pulling over... For fuck’s sake.” He did as I asked and turned off the main road and onto the small estate, his apartment building was on, with a huff. He parked his car snuggly against the curb past the T junction and let his hands fall from the wheel in resignation. I could tell he was expecting me to jump out and leg it, but I didn’t; I had always had something else in mind when I made my request. Unclipping my seat belt, I acted quickly and climbed over the centre console and into his lap. My back hit the steering wheel as I positioned myself, and if he had not looked surprised by my bold behaviour before, he certainly did when my bum honked the car horn on my way down into his lap.

“Ana!” He said my name in shock, but I was glad that he instinctively took me by the waist.

“Oops.” I bit my lower lip - my way of apologising for the racket as cutely as possible. Before he could say another word, I made my move. With his face between my hands, I kissed him. I kissed him as if I were moments from death, and his lips could keep me alive. At first, he didn’t refuse me and met my lips eagerly, but I felt his passion falter and sensed something occur to him. Taking hold of my wrists, Cole backed away from my face. I whimpered and blinked open my grey eyes to find his, staring at me through the dark with a contrite expression. “Just in case,” I whispered as an excuse.

“Just in case what?”

“In case you change your mind about not hating me.”

“You’re the one most likely to change your mind,” Cole said. The look on his face was tainted with sadness.

“What would I change my mind about?” I stroked my thumb over his lips as my fingers still spanned over his strong jawline.

“I told you I would explain once we got to my place, but we haven’t made it there yet.”

“As ominous and sexy as you’ve made that sound, I say we press pause for a minute. Before we make this more complicated, can’t we just…” I let what I said linger to imply my meaning, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I wanted him one last time, even if it was in his car. “Because even though it was the first one-night stand I’d ever had and I was insanely nervous, it was easy because we knew nothing about each other; we had no expectations then.”

“Ana, I want yo-”

“Then have me.” I interrupted, even if I could not believe how bold I was being, I felt brave. I let go of his face and stroked my hands down his torso quickly, and unfastened the button of his jeans before he could stop me, but he did stop me. With my wrists recaptured in his strong hands, he found my eyes again.

“I can’t do that. I don’t want you to feel like I’ve tricked you.”

An involuntary and desperate whine hummed past my lips at what he had said. I was aching for him to ravage me and make me feel like he had the first time, back when it was simpler. At the time, as I stared into his dark eyes through the night, I didn’t know what I was witnessing, but the way his expression altered was him making a decision, he bit the bullet and explained.

“I’m not thirty-two or thirty-four.” He started. “I’m sixty-six.”

“What, no you’re not, you can’t b-” Cole watched as the realisation that what he had said was true hit me. My face dropped. The man before me didn’t look sixty at all, but I suddenly remembered my cousin Elia. She looked as youthful as me but was well in her eighties. Could it be that Cole was also not mortal, and that was why he did not mind that I was not either? “You mean you’re not m- mortal either?”

“No, I’m not.”

“I mean… Sixty-six verses thirty-something is a lot bigger of an age gap, but still, if you’re like me, then I don’t have a reason to care, right? Right?” I didn’t want to be a hypocrite.

“I’m not like you.” Cole closed his eyes for a moment and hung his head. “I’m sure you watch the news. I’m sure you’ve read statistics. The reported kill count speaks for itself, but it’s an ugly truth. And as much as I hope you won’t see me differently, I know you will, but I still have to tell you, Ana.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. I could not deny that what he said, and his tone of voice scared me, and he still had a hold of my wrists.

“Ana, according to the media in the city, which race of mythical is the most threatening to the mortal population?” Cole’s eyes appeared cold for the first time as they met mine, and the gravity of what he was telling me became clear. For months, all over the news and newspapers, a vivid picture of a race so bloodthirsty their only purpose was to drain the lifeblood from every unassuming person they came across. Out of all of the newly discovered races, they were the most dangerous because even demons could only prey on contracted victims. Today's Lycanthropes and werepeople were not nearly as uncivilised as they were fabled to be; they no longer hunted humans for sport. Centuries ago, laws came into force within covens of witches and warlocks, decreeing they were no longer allowed to bewitch or cast magik on mortals for their benefit. The race Cole was refereeing to, though, weren’t as discriminatory in their choice of prey. Nothing could dissuade them from violence. They were unstoppable and prolific, their strength limitless, their appetite deadly, and they disguised themselves as mortals so adeptly that they were almost impossible to root out. The stigma surrounding the particular predator had always existed. Especially in literature, where up until recently was the only place they existed. In the imagination of decades of writers, they were depicted numerous ways, but one thing that was always agreed upon was how diabolical they were. Was I sat right in the lap of one?

“You’re a Vampire?” I asked, forcing my voice not to tremble. How could someone I felt so safe around, someone who had been so gentle and kind and tender towards me, be something so innately bloodthirsty and savage? It doesn’t make sense. In reply, Cole said nothing, but he stared hard into my eyes, opened his lips and bared his fangs for me to see. They drew like daggers into the hollow of his mouth, a mouth which I had eagerly explored with my own only minutes before. The sharp intake of breath I took was instinctual, and it portrayed my fear. Afterall, I was also his prey; I was built to fear him. That was when it occurred to me that my attraction to him could have been entirely artificial. Perhaps it was just his predatory lure? I was meant to be enticed into a false sense of security by his pheromones, and even the way he looked was a trap to make his procurement of my blood easier.

My reaction pained him. I saw the emotion flash through his eyes before he looked back down into our laps in defeat. He let go of my wrists and sighed.

“I had to tell you. I knew that if I ever wanted to see you again, I had to be transparent.”

Too traumatised to answer him, for a long moment, I was silent. I had run to him when I was terrified that I was being stalked by some evil person who's mission it was to to murder me, probably. Yet, ironically, he was probably a murderer too. I had attached myself to someone who could so easily bring me harm, yet he hadn’t.

“Please, just don’t get out of the car. By all means, sit as far away from me as you can but at least let me drop you off somewhere nearer your home.”

How defeated and hurt he sounded by my reaction made me feel bad, and then I wondered; how many people have run away from you because of what you are? “Were you only interested in me for my blood?” I asked, remembering one of the first things he said to me when we hooked-up was how I smelled nice.

“No, of course not.” Cole met my eyes, but I couldn’t help staring at his fangs. “I would have taken it that night if that’s all I’d wanted.”

“Is there something wrong with me that made you not want it?”

“How is that the first thing you assume? Ana, there is nothing wrong with you at all, okay? I mean, I’ve thought about what you would taste like, but I don’t feed from people anymore. I haven’t bitten anyone in a long time.”

“How long is a long time?”

“Er, about twenty-six years…”

“Longer than I have been alive then.” Distractedly I exclaimed when I manoeuvred myself out of his lap and back into the passenger seat. I sat with my legs curled up and my arms wrapped around my shins so that my back was to the door and I could face him.

“When you put it like that, it really high-lights the gap...” He looked blindsided.

“If you don’t bite people, how do you eat?”

“There are companies out there that sell products that cater to my specific diet.”

“What like pre-packaged, microwavable blood?” I chuckled; apparently, my dark humour was helping me see the funnier side of things.

“Hmm yeah, kind of,” Cole explained but didn’t break a smile. “You’re taking this really well.” He looked over at me with concern.

“I've had loads of shocking shit to deal with lately... I guess I'm kinda getting used to it. Besides, Vampires are portrayed as being savage and unable to control their diabolical thirst for blood, especially in the news, and I’m old enough to know not to believe everything you here on the telly or written in the papers.” I shrugged. “You’ve had opportunities to hurt me, and you haven’t… not yet at least.”

“I have no intention of hurting you, Ana.”

“If you didn’t want my blood, why did you ask me to get into your car and then make a move on me? Hooking up with students isn’t something you do a lot of, is it?”

“I asked you to get into my car because the two creeps that were following you were the ones more likely to hurt you that night, and I made a move on you because I wanted you to satisfy my other appetite.” The way Cole held his brows urged me towards his meaning.

"Isn't that also a little bit creepy though, I mean because you're so much older than me?"

"I don't mean for my sexual attraction to you to be creepy." There was a long pause, and I realised how my reaction could have easily offended him, and I did not intend to do that. Before I had chance to apologise he carried on, and said, “But to answer your other question, no, I don’t have a habit of sleeping with people that don’t know my name or what I am. I usually keep my work life and private life separate too.”

“Really? You seemed so cool about it all. I thought it must be something you’ve at least done before.”

“I’ve had spontaneous sex before, Ana, just not with someone as young as you. As I said, I thought you might’ve secretly been older than you look like I am.” Cole explained, combing his fingers back through his hair. The situation was clearly making him uncomfortable, and it was the first time I had seen him anywhere near flustered.

“Are we going to sit here all night?” I asked, hoping to spur him into action, so I could attempt to brighten his mood, even if that no longer included the prospect of having sex with him. It was not that I suddenly found him unattractive. If I were honest, I imagined I would always find him physically appealing. Our situation had gotten far too complicated, far too quickly, just like he had said. I had no regrets, and I was glad that he had told me his secret; it explained a lot, but it had piqued my interest. Even though I would be cautiously curious, I still wanted to know him more.

“No, sorry. I’ll take you home now.” Cole centred himself and took hold of the steering wheel again; before he could make a U-turn to set off towards my apartment building, I stopped him.

“Your place is closer.”

“You still want to come home with me?” He glanced at me, dumbfounded.

“At the very least, we’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Within minutes we were parked up in the basement carpark of Cole’s apartment building. I had to wait for him to grab a crate from the boot when I got out of the car. The size of it convinced me it must have been heavy but the way Cole held it balanced on one hip with his arm wrapped around it as he lent into the back seat to get his jacket caught me off guard for a moment, and I found myself admiring him despite having told myself it would not do me any good to sleep with him again.

“7-4-2-8,” Cole said as we got to the code locked door. I tapped in the digits and let us in. “Here, take these too.” He said, handing me his keys so I could let us into his apartment’s door too. Unlike the last time I’d been there, he flicked the lights on straight away and wandered past me into the kitchen. “Make yourself at home.”

“What’s in the box?” I asked, breaking the silence after a few moments of watching him open it up and take out four metal canisters. To me, they looked like thermal flasks, but he set them into his fridge and shot me a cautious look over his shoulder. I don’t think he had expected me to have followed him, but I had and stood lent against one of the glossy grey cabinets looking at him curiously.

“Uhm- Maybe that’s…” He started while shutting the fridge door and turning to rest his back up against it. He was wary, and I could tell he was trying to gauge my thoughts by my expression and I was trying to look as innocuous as possible. “… A conversation for another time?” Cole asked, but the way he drew out the question gave away that he knew I was not about to drop the topic so quickly. “Alright, fine. You asked how I eat, well what’s inside the flasks is-…”

“Blood.” I nodded. I was satisfied enough with that answer. For now, I didn’t want to overthink for fear of losing my nerve and becoming creeped out. I wanted to give him a chance at remaining my friend. I should have guessed.

Turning on my heels, I abandoned Cole in the kitchen in favour of making myself at home as he had suggested. The apartment had an exuberant, modern vibe - that much I knew from the amount of time I had spent in the entryway on my first visit. I wandered into the lounge to see that simple concave wall sconces lit the place dimly. It was modern, decorated minimally and the lack of clutter gave the home a tranquil feel.

The monochromatic colour scheme of the walls and furniture were occasionally interrupted by stark flashes of chrome. The rooms most striking feature gained my attention instantly; on the wall that separated two doors hung a giant lightbox that was home to a minimalistic art piece. When the image pixelated and altered into something else before my eyes, they widened in surprise. Oh, that’s quirky and cool… “Wow, your place is a lot nicer than it looks in the dark.” I said and sat myself down on the luxurious looking sofa. The adjoining chaise made it an L-shaped that framed the lounge and created a confined space within the otherwise open plan main room. “The view is amazing too.” I marvelled at another light show that the night-time city put on, which I had noticed before. The streetlights showed the maze of streets, and the neon signs from bars and shops twinkled on the concrete canvas in a display of urban beauty.

“I brought it when the market crashed, there was no way I would’ve been able to afford it otherwise, but that view makes it worth every penny,” Cole explained distractedly; I could hear him fumbling about in the kitchen.

Now that I wasn’t alone, I felt safe, regardless of what Cole had just revealed to me. I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me.

The sofa I found myself sat on was plushie, deep seated, and cosy feeling. I was so tired, I hadn’t been sleeping well since I had discovered my stalker because fear had kept me awake. I’ll just rest my eyes. I thought as I waited for him to join me. With my head nestled into one of the sofa’s pillow backs, I fell to sleep almost instantly.