《Short Comedy Stories》Teaching About Sex
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AN: probably not going write one like this again, because it feels weird. You came for the comedy not a history of stuff. On a sunny morning day, in a middle class American family, a father was thrilled as his eldest son, his only one had reach puberty. On must be wondering , why would you be so happy just because your son reach puberty? his answer would be, how could he not be happy to be able to teach his son about sex, the way his family had not done for him? He had never had someone to teach him anything before, as he only had himself to rely on growing up, if you could call it that. His life was a tragic one that could make God and even Satan shed tears of pity. His tragic life started when his mother was found to be pregnant. When his mother had been found to be pregnant, he was told that his father was shocked that his face change color, well in his mother eyes, this was the look of a gratified father to be, so she did not suspect anything when he said that he need to leave for a minute. Well, lets just say that was the longest minute in the worlds history. Seeing her man not returning after hours, his mother send someone to call him but all they got was a letter from his dad saying why he left. Well the reason was very simple, he had said that his 'brother ' had not taste enough 'flowers' so he couldn't be a father that the baby needed. Anyway, his mother being a gullible fool, believe him, not only did she not hate him, she thaught that he was a respecful man as he told her that he was leaving. If that was all that happen , then his life wouldn't be called tragic, now would it? After the episode of his father ditching , a more tragic thing happen not long after. A nurse had came into the room of his mother with a bill showing how much she had to pay to get the baby delivered, lets just say that was one bill that would never be paid. After seeing the bill, his mother eyes were said to almost pop out of her skull as she read the numbers over and over again as if to confirm something. One could understand her situation as she is someone from a poor family that could barly support themselve with wild vegetable and fruits. In fact, her parents were so poor , that they almost sold their daughter to child traffickers for some money . After confirming the numbers with the nurse, the nurse recieved the warmest smile that sent shivers down her spine for no apparent reason. Feeling uncomfartable , the nerse left. Seeing that the nerse left, she started to rub her belly as she muttered to herself. "Don't worry my little darling, mommy will get the money one way or the other." if Satan had walk by, he would had run all the way back to hell to get rid of the cold chill that went down his spine with hellfire. After the nurse left for awhile, she came back to check on the pregnant mother but was horriffied at what she, she was so scared that she almost screamed her lungs out. If anyone had saw what she was , she believes that they would have not react any better that she just did. What was infront of her was a beautiful 28 year old blonde women from earlier. She still had the same smile she had from when she last spoke with her. One must be wondering is there a reason for you to scream just because you saw a beautiful women infront of you? her response would be , fuck you, since you are not scared , please take over for me. The reason she was scared , was that the women was hanging from the ceiling with a rope around her neck. Just imagine a women with a beautiful smile one her face , a rope around her neck and see if you don't shit yourself.
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The father hurried to his son's room , while trying to see how he was going to explain to him about the bird and the bees. As a alethic teen, his son was woke up quite early in the morning, so when he reach for the nub of the door , it opened up as his son came out. He quickly explain that he had something to teach him, so he wouldn't leave for his morning jogs. The son looked weirdly at his father as he didn't know the reason he was so happy just to teach something that he would learn at school the next day, but seeing his father happy, he choose to be silent. The father look at his son and said, " Son, today starts the day that you will become a man. I don't want you to be like me and wait until you become middle age before you know about sex, so I will teach you, be sure to listen very well." To be honest, he had no idea of how to teach his son, but evryone got to learn somewhere right? As they talked, the both of them started to walked down the stairs. The father was buying time with his speach as he figure how to explain sex to his son. bum! a subtle sound hit the floor. He turned around to the source of the noise and he saw his wife bending over to pick up the toothpaste that she had drop. Looking at her, he noticed that she was not wearing anything underneath thin one piece night clothes, that's to say that he could see everything at her bottom.
Seemly receiving enlightenment, the father point at his wife as he look as his son and spoke, " Son, look at your mother's body, do you see that hairy spot at her bottom? When you see something like that, this is what you do." as he said that, he started to walk towards his wife , while unbuckling his pants. Reaching behind the still bent over mother, he slammed his brother inside of her. Seeing what was happining, the son eyes blazed in amazement as he engrave everything his father said and did in his memory. Just as he finish memorizing everything, he turned around as he heared a noise. Looking behind him, he saw that his sister had come down stairs and was looking at their mother and father as she ask, " Big brother, what his mother and father doing?" Looking at his cute sister, a trace of pride appeared in his heart as he said, " Sister, father is teaching me about sex. Do you see that hairy spot at father's bottom?" he looked over as he said that, he saw her nod , so he continued," When you see it, this is what you do." he did as his father showed him and drop his pants. He walked up to his father and slamed into him with his little brother.
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