Rayne

She presumed the party had started by then, therefore, arriving late would only bring more attention to her. While she over-thought about going out, Rayne painted her nails black, chose a black dress with a white collar, and retouched her makeup and hair. Remembering her conversation with Alliyah about her hair product made her smile as she delighted in its scent.

Before she made a decision, she called Dr. Skylar for reassurance:

“You baked her a cake though, so you might as well go taste it.” They casually responded.

They are right. We are friends, right? I should go. It’s no big deal… Rayne thought, before gathering her bravery and her gift for Alliyah and left the house.

Her hands trembled as she walked out of the elevator and into the hallway, on Alliyah’s floor. There was music playing, coming from the party. You can still go back, she thought, as her stomach filled with butterflies, but the bad kind that makes you wanna retch. She stood in front of the door, looking at the number 53 on the plaque.

“Oh, hey Rayne!” The door had suddenly opened. Blue stormed out but greeted her with a polite smile. “Would love to chat but I have an emergency.”

“Oh, need help?”

“No, no. You go have fun!” He disappeared into the elevator.

“Rayne! You came! I wasn’t sure. May I offer you some poison?” Ocean greeted her, holding a tray with colorful shots, lined up forming a rainbow.

“I could use a cup of courage.” Rayne mumbled, eying all the colors, before choosing the pink one.

“Listen, can you find Alliyah and tell her Blue had to leave?”

“Oh, right. I saw him. What happened?”

“I don’t know, but he said he was supposed to meet her on the rooftop. He told me to apologize to her on his behalf. Brits, they’re so overly polite.”

“Not the Brits who raised me.” She took the blue shot.

“I thought you were Japanese.”

She patted his shoulder and then moved past him, and got on her way to the rooftop.

Alliyah was leaning over the ledge, a denim jacket hanging over her shoulders. And… She was holding a cigarette?

“Since when do you smoke?” Rayne spoke, making Alliyah jump.

But when she saw her, a smile spread across her features like paint on a canvas.

“My goth queen decided to grace me with her presence.” She bowed to Rayne, making her roll her eyes. “You look marvelous. And cold.” She removed the jacket from her shoulders and placed it over the girl wearing nothing but a dress.

Rayne wanted to protest, but it was, in fact, chilling on the rooftop. She slipped on the jacket, embracing its warmth. She noticed for the first time that Alliyah had a small tattoo on her wrist with the letters “GRL PWR”. Is this the first time I’m seeing her with just a t-shirt?

She shook away the thought:

“I always wanted one of these, but they are usually kind of tight, even the over-sized ones.”

“Men’s section is the answer.”

Rayne’s jaw tensed for a second, but she shook away the thought and sat on the ledge, her small feet dangling from the building.

She looked around and studied the roof terrace - as well as she was able to in the dimly lit evening.

There was a table and some chairs on the corner - she wondered if Alliyah and the group had barbecues up there like in American movies and TV shows. There were a few trees - Rayne liked it when nature and urban views mixed. She didn’t fancy the graffiti on some walls, she believed art belonged on paper and canvas,

Rayne sighed and took the cigarette from Alliyah’s hand, causing her to smirk before, shadowing Rayne’s behavior, sitting on the ledge.

“Since when do you smoke?” Alliyah raised an eyebrow.

“For the first time? When I was 13.”

“Wow! Rebel child.”

She laughed and Rayne fainted a smile. That cigarette was not like hers. It tasted poorly, hers always had flavors of mint, strawberry or vanilla.

“Something like that…”

After a few seconds of silence, she remembered:

“Oh, the lad with the freckles said that he had an emergency, so he had to leave.”

“You’ve known us for months and still don’t know our names?” Alliyah stole the cigarette back. When she took it to her lips, Rayne wondered if she could feel the taste of her lipstick.

“I know your names, Smith.”

Alliyah laughed, shaking her head.

Rayne enjoyed how sometimes she laughed with her whole body - throwing her head back, or hunching over, or when her eyes almost shut...

“So, it's just to spice things up?” Her voice brought her back to the rooftop.

"Something along those lines. Well, since when do you smoke? I did ask first. I should not have answered first.”

“I don’t smoke.”

“Says the girl who is currently smoking.”

“I just…”

“Smoke.” Rayne challenged.

“Give it a few puffs… Every now and then. It’s not my fault, you know?”

“Then whose fault is it?” Rayne raised both thin, dark eyebrows.

Alliyah pointed at the full moon, which was making its debut in the evening’s dark starry sky.

Rayne silently looked up at the natural satellite, glowing down on their skins.

“For better or worse, she brings out our true selves.”

They shared a quiet, understanding smile.

“I think I’d like to try teaching Lamar how to draw landscapes.” She said, causing Alliyah to slightly raise her eyebrows.

“Is that so? I’m sure he’ll love to be taught. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

Rayne just nodded. After a few seconds of just looking at the stars and buildings, she started:

“Listen, Smith.” Rayne fidgeted with her dress as she talked in a low tone. “I… Never mind.”

Alliyah got off the ledge and stood in front of Rayne, who was still sitting down.

“Me too, Rayne.”

Alliyah caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead. It was a simple gesture, yet it was packed with tenderness. Therefore, it caused Rayne to feel butterflies in her stomach, this time the kind that makes you feel like you’re floating.

Me too, what? What does she know?! Her mind raced. She swallowed and tried to focus on the task at hand:

“I got you a little gift. It is nothing special.”

Alliyah’s hand lingered on her face, and she smiled.

“It’s from you, so it can’t not be special.”

Rayne bit her lip, looking down before giving the gift to Alliyah. It was a lovely necklace with two crystals dangling.

“This is a raw rose quartz, and this one is the angel aura.”

“Put it on me.” Alliyah handed the necklace back to Rayne and turned around.

Rayne’s shaky hands struggled to complete the assignment. Alliyah was so close, and she kept touching her. But she approved the gift!

“Do they… Mean anything?” Alliyah asked, her back still turned toward Rayne.

“Ummh… I do not know…” She lied, while finally succeeding in clasping the necklace.

“You told me their names. I can google it.” Alliyah was facing her again. “Well, whatever the meaning, it’s a wonderful gift. Now we both have pretty necklaces.” Alliyah reached for Mariam’s necklace, around Rayne’s neck.

Her hand grazed Rayne's chest, and she attempted to cross her legs, but almost lost balance on the ledge.

“So…" She tried calming herself down. "Do you always spend this much time away from your own party?”

“You know the answer." Alliyah looked at her, then away, at the moon. "But now that you remind me, I kinda am curious to taste your cake.” Alliyah took a step back. “So shall we go back?”

“Why do you say it’s my cake?”

Rayne leaped off the ledge and fixed her dress. Alliyah cocked her head, and bit her lip:

“You really do look exceptionally dazzling tonight.”

Rayne felt herself flutter once more but gritted her teeth:

“Shut up or I will stab you.“

“So small, so filled with rage.” Alliyah smirked, only making Rayne even more annoyed… And smitten.

There was not enough room in the elevator for both of them. If she got any closer to her, she’d-

Wait a minute, is she looking at me? I feel her looking at me. Rayne sneaked a glance at Alliyah and immediately averted her gaze because she was, indeed, looking at her! And biting her lip to top it all off. Rayne’ pressed her thighs together and tried focusing on the elevator going down. It was an endless ride.

“There’s the woman of the hour!”

“Who’s been gone for almost an hour.”

Aliyah’s friends greeted and teased her when they noticed she had returned.

“You! Great dress!” Mariam remembered Rayne from the march. “I didn’t know you were a friend of Alliyah’s.”

That night she was wearing blue jeans (not overly tight), a white shirt, and a long cream-colored cape with matching high heels and hijab. Quite different from when they first met!

“Me? You look like a queen.” Rayne couldn’t help but smile. “I never wanted to own a cape more in my life.”

“You want this one?” Mariam was ready to take it off and hand it to Rayne.

“No, no. Mine would have to be a little darker.” They both smiled.

“I do love that jacket.” Mariam complimented.

“Oh, this is Alliyah’s. I forgot to give it back.” Rayne looked down at her own body but showed no intention of taking it off.

“Ohh.” Mariam grinned. “I see. Good for you!”

Before Rayne could respond, the lights went off, and the guys started singing happy birthday.

“Blue velvet? Did you guys pay a baker for this?” Alliyah narrowed her eyes, pretending to be suspicious of the good-looking cake as she cut into it.

“Nope! Rayne knew what she was doing.” Ocean commented as he waited for his slice.

Alliyah found Rayne’s gleaming brown eyes across the small round table and smirked.

“Thank you.” She extended a portion in her direction.

Rayne didn’t voice a response, simply accepted her slice.

She couldn’t sleep for a while after going to bed that night. Kept thinking back to the party.

Kept thinking about Alliyah, and about how she made her feel. No one has ever made her feel like that - and that was terrifying. She shouldn’t be getting that close, she was going to get hurt.

But she also thought about the group. Ocean, Mariam, Z, and even Malcolm. They made her feel so incorporated. She was feeling like she was a part of something.

But was she? Or were they playing her? Were they misleading? Did they secretly despise her and laugh behind her back?!

Eventually, she drifted into a void… Of nightmares. She visualized herself, in a previous life, stuck in her old high school bathroom. It was dark. Her teeth were falling off, and her mouth was bleeding out, but she was not being able to scream or come out and ask for help.

Rayne woke up, out of breath, and feeling the urge to vomit. But she didn’t.

After regaining composure, she looked at her phone to check the time. It was only 5:36 in the morning. But there was no way was she going back to sleep.

Her head ached, and it felt heavy. She tried to stretch the tension out of her neck and shoulders, unsuccessfully, as the coffee dripped down on her pink mug, decorated with blue and white roses.

After she drank, Rayne put on simple make up, differing with her customary routine; combed her hair without styling it in any way in particular. She took off Mariam’s necklace and chose one with a skull wearing a crown; she liked how it matched her rose ring and dagger earrings.

She thought about putting on a hoodie and leaving the house. But decided to dress up, even if she didn’t feel at her best. So, instead, she chose one of her many plaid knee-length skirts, flat leather boots; and wore a black and gray Vincent Van Gogh t-shirt tucked into her skirt. Finally, before leaving her house, she put on one of her many dark, over-sized leather jackets.

The thought of how cozy and warm it felt to put on Alliyah's jacket made its way to her mind. Followed by the sensation of emptiness that overcame her when she had to take it off and hand it back to her, at the end of the night.

The sky was grey, threatening to rain. And the wind that whistled in her hair was cold.

“Do not tell me you’re canceling on me. I am on my way to the bookstore.” Rayne said, over the phone, to Ocean.

“Not canceling, but I’ll be a little late. Before you get mad, it’s not my fault! Alliyah made me sleep at hers, and I’m used to having the-”

“Oh, give me a break. I will be waiting for you at the coffee shop.”

“Come up and wait at Alliyah’s? At least you won’t be alone.”

“Whatever.”

As she hanged up the phone, a brand new looking white Mustang with pink rims pulled up next to her.

“Where are you going?” She heard Blue’s English pronunciation.

“Alliyah’s.”

“Get in!”

No, she didn’t know him very well, but she oddly trusted him. He seemed more reliable than Ocean. himself, at least.

“Are you meeting Alliyah?” She asked while fastening her seatbelt.

“Yes. We’re going to talk about whatever she wanted to talk about last night.”

“What was your emergency?”

“Family… Work stuff.”

“I see. Trouble in paradise?”

He chuckled:

“Something like that.”

“What is it?” She insisted.

She noticed him pulse his jaw as he shifted in the driver’s seat. He glimpsed at her, but when he saw her already examining him, he quickly averted his gaze.

“I also have issues with my parents.” She tried making him more comfortable.

“I don’t necessarily have an issue with my dad. I just don’t wanna disappoint him.” He spoke at his usual fast pace. With a sigh, he added. “I- I shouldn’t speak of it. I know you mean well, sweets, but I really shouldn’t.”

Rayne shrugged and looked out the window in silence.

“Why are you going to A’s?” Blue asked, after a minute of listening to a pop song on the radio.

“Ocean was supposed to meet me at the bookstore. But it seems she did not let him leave last night.

“Ah, those two. She will always worry too much about him, and he will always be too soft for her.”

“What… Are you talking about?”

“It’s just that they’ve been together through a lot, you know?”

“The rest of you have not?”

“Well, they met in San Francisco before any of us. Then moved here. They even lived together for a while. Then, Alliyah met me, Ocean tried picking up Z - word on the street is she punched him, thus leaving a grand first impression on Alliyah. Z met Malcolm at uni not long ago. And even more recently, Ocean met Colson while on a call.”

“Wait, what had happened?”

Blue looked like he was remembering something that happened a long time ago, even taking his eyes off the road. Suddenly, he started laughing.

“So, Ocean got called in, right? He gets to Colson’s.”

He stopped talking and laughed again.

“And, in addition to being high as a kite, he’s like ‘I’m itching all over!’” Blue attempted a New Yorker accent, forcing Rayne to suppress a smile. “And Ocean asks him about his allergies, and he says - get this - he’s only allergic to nuts, but he didn’t eat any nuts…”

By that time, Rayne smirked, perceiving where the conversation was going.

“Ocean looks at the kitchen counter and sees it, right there: Bloody Peanut butter! He thought, because it was cream, not chunky, it didn’t have peanuts in it!”

They both burst out laughing in the middle of the fresh hell that was Manhattan's traffic. The rest of the trip took a few minutes, which they made in a comfortable silence.

Good thing I got in the car and gave him a chance, she thought.

“I’m going to swing by a place before going up, so you should go ahead.” Blue told her as he brought his car to a stop in front of Alliyah’s building, which made Rayne somewhat apprehensive.

She didn’t want to have to go through that hall alone again. But she was going to.

She fidgeted with the skull on her chest as she walked down the hallway. Voices coming through Alliyah’s apartment made her become suspicious, rather than anxious. That commotion was made by more people than Alliyah and Ocean.

Ever so softly, she brought her pale knuckles to the dark blue wooden door.

“Good morning, angel.” Alliyah was the one who greeted her with an appealing smile, which made her cheeks warm up.

“Is Ocean ready?”

“Much like the universe when it created you,” Alliyah looked her up and down, leaning on the door-frame. “He’s taking his sweet time.”

“Wait, did you just-”

“Want some juice, coffee, tea?” Alliyah interrupted while moving to let Rayne in.

“Why were you guys being so loud? I could hear you on the elevator.” She dodged the question.

“I witnessed a murder.” Alliyah replied in a serious tone.

“I broke a plate.” Malcolm spoke from the other side of the kitchen island while sweeping the floor.

“He’s now cleaning the crime scene.” The tall girl squinted her eyes.

Rayne tried stopping herself from smiling at Alliyah’s silliness:

“Where’s Ocean?”

“He and Colson are in the bathroom. Don’t ask. Have you had breakfast?”

“No, I’ve not been feeling well.” She finally admitted, rubbing her own stomach.

“I’ll prepare us both some chamomile tea.“

Before Rayne could reply, Alliyah had started working on the tea, and the pit-bull, Arrow, had brought her a toy and dropped it at her feet. She instantly smiled and squatted down to pet her.

“You want to play?” She whispered. “No, you just want rubs, don’t you?”

Arrow gave her that silly, cute pit-bull smile with her tongue falling off the side of her mouth.