Alexis bent his head, burying his face on her shoulder, and took a deep breath trying hard to keep his anger under control.

“I found him, Ricky Noland,” he told her in a muffled voice and Sarah couldn’t help tense up again. “I can easily kill him, if you want.”

Her sudden surprise melted away immediately and Sarah found herself laughing, although tears still blurred her vision; until she realized he wasn’t kidding.

“Don’t be silly, Alexis!” she reprimanded him, hitting the arm that firmly held her, and turned around, pushing his forehead back so she could face him. “We were just kids, back then.”

“And yet he left a mark on you. Your fear of being touched ...”

“That’s my problem, and no one else’s. He has nothing to do with it,” Sarah insisted and he frowned, displeased. “Besides I don’t really see why you’re complaining. You obviously grab me and push me around whenever you feel like it, and you’ve been doing so ever since we’ve met.”

“I definitely hate him!” he insisted and she couldn’t help smile since now he really sounded like a kid. And yet his emotions matched his words perfectly, which made him clearly dangerous. Because those were far from being mere empty words.

“Why did you go looking for him anyway?” she asked, caressing his face, his dark eyebrows. He was so amazingly perfect …

Alexis averted his gaze, pouting.

“Because he was the only man you seemed to have gotten close to … And I wanted to see what was so special about him.”

Sarah smiled again and kissed his jaw line. Immediately another emotion overcame the hate and anger boiling inside him and Sarah placed a hand on his naked chest just to verify that his heart had started to beat faster.

“And? What’s so special about him?” she whispered near his ear, caressing him with her breath, and almost laughed when he shuddered.

“There’s nothing, really. His divorced, has two kids, works in some business company and has a pot belly.”

Sarah pulled back to look at him in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” He frowned again and nodded, increasingly annoyed with that subject. Especially since it had led her to pull away from him. “A pot belly?!” she repeated and Alexis averted his gaze, until he heard her laugh. “You’re not making this up, right?” she asked, although she already knew he wasn’t, and ended up taking a deep breath, feeling relieved. Never, in her entire life, had she imagined she’d end up talking about Ricky Noland as she did now, free from any sadness or spite. Pulling her arms around his neck, she kissed his face soundly and smiled again, when he grunted under his breath in his constant fight for self-control. “What?” She noticed he was still frowning, and Alexis averted his gaze.

“There was another name … John Donovan.”

“John is just a work colleague,” she told him in between small kisses.

“He doesn’t see you like that.”

“That’s his problem, not mine,” she retorted finding his ear and devoted herself to torturing it the same way he’d tortured hers just a few moments ago.

“Sarah …”

“Hum …?”

“If you keep that up I won’t be able to control myself much longer,” he warned her and she gave him an adorable mischievous smile.

“That was kind of the point,” she confessed pushing him back and he fell on the bed, staring up at her with a burning gaze. She smiled again, straddling him, and Alexis couldn’t stop himself any longer, pulling her closer, his hands climbing beneath her blouse, wanting to touch her skin. “Hush …” she commanded, placing a hand over his lips, avoiding the kiss he longed to give her and that would most certainly leave her dizzy and gasping, and took her time tasting the hot and electrifying skin at the base of his neck. The moan that escaped his chest only made her even bolder, as she fought against the zipper of his pants.

With a groan he sat up, making her laugh, and grabbed her, kissing her voraciously, quickly stealing the control of the situation. With urgent and awkward movements he placed her over him and then released her, letting her be the one to meet him as he leaned back on his hands.

Sarah looked at him, still holding on to his neck, and smiled at his gleaming gaze overcast by the shadows of his long eyelashes. His breath was as rough as hers and his parted lips were too red due to his greedy kisses. Slowly, she allowed herself to slide down his body until he filled her completely. She felt as his muscles went rigid, when he stopped himself from rushing her, and his expression of anguish and pleasure left an undeniable mark in her heart. She moved slowly, even though her aching legs from the last time they’d been together kept trembling. Still she didn’t stop, feeling him inside her, his shape and size. When she grew tired his arms surrounded her, easily supporting her weight, and Alexis bent his head, leaning his forehead against hers, kissing her soft lips. When he released her his breath had become even shorter and rougher, and Sarah immediately corresponded his wish, intensifying the way she moved, making him harder as he buried his face on her neck. She held him closer, her fingers tangled in his hair, her mind completely lost in the madness that were his emotions, and contrary to what had happened before, it was his explosion of pleasure that dragged her with him.

When she finally came to her senses he was softly kissing her neck, and a smile touched her lips as she slid her hands down his back, feeling the muscles rippling beneath his skin.

He raised his head, gently straightening her hair while devouring her lips with his gaze, and ended up holding her face between his hands, to look her straight in the eyes.

“You’re just … too perfect …” he whispered and she was speechless for a second, before blushing profusely which only made her feel even more embarrassed.

“Stop it!” she demanded, covering his eyes with her hand, and he seemed surprised but ended up smiling.

“You know, no one has ever touched me the way you do,” he confessed and she slowly lowered her hand, facing him intrigued.

“What do you mean…?”

“The warmth of a touch is something really … special,” he declared, caressing her face with the back of his hand. She was so beautiful, right then. Their bodies still united, her eyes clear, facing him without fear, without censure. If only she knew what he had done …

“I’m sure you had many others, touching you,” she said with a hint of jealously, remembering Hale’s words, and he gave her a devilish smile as if he’d read her thoughts.

“True, I had lots of other women,” he confirmed and Sarah felt as if a whole had just been dug in her chest. “More than I can remember. It’s something essential to us. The sharing of body and emotions … What we receive in return help us keep our balance. Help us keep our sanity. Most women I met were beautiful, attractive women and I have no doubt they found me equally appealing. And yet, although we passionately shared our bodies, none of them ever lifted a hand to caress me the way you do. Although they desired me, fear was also equally present, and one might say, justifiable. And so as soon as we were through we immediately went our separate ways. I never slept twice with the same woman. Nor did I ever spend so much time near one … until now.”

Sarah lowered her gaze. She didn’t know if she should feel happy for being the exception, or sad at the idea that what had just happened between them was just a way to fulfill some basic need for him.

Making her mind, she decided to cast those thoughts away and smiled again, kissing him. She didn’t want to ruin the moment. For the first time in her life she felt happy in the company of another, and the fact that she’d been able to drag him away from his world of darkness made her wish she could extend those brief moments a bit longer.

“Now I’m hungry!” she declared, pulling away from him, and the moan of complaint he released made her laugh. Her greedy eyes fell on the tray he’d brought her and she didn’t hesitate to attack Anne’s cookies. “And then I’ll have to go and check on Selena,” she planned between two bites, and Alexis hugged her again, holding her against his chest as if he feared she might escape.

“I went by her room before. She was still asleep.”

“You did?”

“I knew you’d want to know if she’d woken up.”

She smiled again and offered him a bite from her cookie, but before he could accept it pulled it away again.

“Do you guys even eat? I mean … normally eat? Like us?” she wondered and he seemed surprised, for an instant, ending up laughing. Only Sarah to remember a question like that, in a moment like that. And yet, her serious expression told him she was waiting for an answer and so he thought it better to satisfy her curiosity.

“I can eat like you do, if I feel like it. Eating is an interesting experience and, in a certain way, a source of pleasure. However, your food cannot sustain our bodies. And so I’d have to say that eating isn’t essential for us.”

Sarah arched an eyebrow and he could clearly see the change in her, as her curious scientific mind took over.

“Then what maintains your body?”

“Energy.”

“Energy?!”

“The same energy we produce … the same you produce. We share it amongst ourselves.”

Sarah felt a weight on her stomach.

“Different from what you called Ishar…” she guessed and he seemed disturbed by her comparison.

“Yes, and no. One could say that Ishar is a purer, more concentrated form of the energy we feed on. And so it’s able to sustain us for many days …”

“But you said that there were other forms to obtain it without using … blood.”

He nodded lightly and faced her.

“There are a few Humans able to freely and willingly give Ishar. And then there are other ways, like what we just did.”

Sarah opened her eyes wide.

“Then I gave you that … energy?”

He smiled again, pulling her closer and kissed her temple.

“You were amazing.”

“But it’s still different from the one you share.”

“Yes. The other energy it’s something we share amongst ourselves through what you’d call mental bridges. Normally these bridges are formed between parents and their children, between siblings, and, later on, between couples. But here, away from home, sharing alone isn’t enough to sustain a grownup for long.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“No.”

“Then with whom do you share your mind?”

“Lately, with Aaran. When I was younger my sharing Brother was Farran … But then things changed,” he added and Sarah felt as pain found its way back into his heart. Farran. That name again. The same that threatened her life. The leader of the rebels and Alexis’ enemy … the same that used to be his Brother.

Holding his face she kissed him passionately, hoping to chase away his heavy thoughts, and when he squeezed her in his arms she knew she had succeeded.

“Hum, this is way better than any mental sharing I’ve ever experienced,” he murmured with a mischievous smile and she kissed the tip of his nose.

“And as far as I know, it’s also forbidden. So take it easy, buddy. We don’t want you addicted to it, or anything.”

“Too late for that,” he replied, nibbling her lower lip, and Sarah pulled back enough to keep a safe distance from him.

“More questions!”

“More?” Alexis repeated, clearly dispirited, wishing he could engage in less verbal activities, and Sarah stole an apple from the tray biting it voraciously. “I thought you already made all your questions the last time.”

“Last time didn’t count. I was too scared to think things through,” she determined and Alexis sighed as she faced him curiously. “And sleep? You do sleep, right?”

“We do. Here considerably more than in Tzel. The light of the yellow sun makes us sluggish and sleepy, even without direct contact with it.”

“You said you were intolerant to the light of the sun, but what does it really mean?” she inquired giving another bite on her apple. “You’re not going to turn to ash, right?” Or should she say black dust? Like what had happened to the couch from the living room.

“No. However, no matter how much we look like we have a material body, in the end we’re still shadows. The light of the yellow sun breaks us and makes us weak. And that weakness breaks us even more. In the end, once the shadow of our essence is completely shattered we just cease to be ourselves and our bodies become empty vessels, with no will or thought.”

“But still alive …?”

“Yes.”

Sarah felt a shiver run down her spine and suddenly couldn’t help thinking it was better if they’d just explode into a pile of ash; that would certainly be better than an eternal life of emptiness.

“Is that reversible? That fragmentation.”

“On its own? No.”

Sarah pulled a lock of his hair, hard, tearing a complaint from his lips, and he looked at her, perplexed.

“Twice now you went out into the daylight because of me! If you ever do that again, I swear!” He looked even more surprised at her words than at her gesture, but still couldn’t help smiling when he noticed her serious expression.

“That a threat?” he asked her, his head still bent since she had yet to release him, and she gave it another pull.

“Of course it is!”

“And if I don’t listen to you?”

As she couldn’t find any way to punish him, Sarah allowed his hair to slide through her fingers and released him. The truth was that she hated the idea that he was constantly placing himself in danger because of her.

He placed a hand on her head, as if she were just a child, and smiled confidently.

“Don’t worry about me, Sarah. Besides the fact that I’m not worthy of your concern, there really isn’t any reason for that.”

“You’re always saying that …” she muttered. She could still clearly see the marks and scars from his latest injuries.

“So? Any more questions?” he asked in a surprisingly joyful tone, and she took a deep breath, giving another bite on her apple while searching her mind for other inquiries.

“You’re blood is red, like ours,” she state and he laughed amused.

“Did you expect it to be green or blue?” he questioned, affectionately straightening her hair. “All living beings from Gaea able to keep their body temperature have red blood, no matter which dimension they come from. All dimensions share the same air, and since we all breathe oxygen, our blood is similar at least in color.”

“Then you’re born, like us? Are you children like us?” Suddenly it was extremely hard picturing him small and vulnerable.

“Yes. In that we’re similar to you too,” he confirmed and suddenly another thought took over her mind, leaving her breathless and with her heart beating wildly.

“Then … I can… I mean …” she stammered, her cheeks catching fire just thinking about it, her rational mind constantly reminding her that she’d just made love to him twice and that she hadn’t even remembered about things like protection; something that hadn’t even happened on her first time. And he kissed her softly on the cheek, calming her down.

“You don’t have to worry about that. We’re not that compatible,” he declared and softly caressed her hair. “Likewise we’re immune to all the diseases that affect the Human Race. I guess our genetics are just too different.” Sarah felt immediately more at ease but, somehow, those words also reinforced what she already knew, that theirs was a relationship with no future. “More questions?” he insisted, kissing her neck, absorbing the warm, soft scent of her skin.

“How old are you really, Alexis?”

“Hum, that’s kind of hard to answer. We don’t usually count time like you do. However I can tell you I’ve been here, in your dimension, for the last two hundred of your years, and I must have probably lived here twice the time I lived in Tzel. So, about three hundred and fifty, take it or leave it.”

She sat suddenly very straight and faced him in pure disbelief.

“Three hundred and fifty?!”

“And I’m still young, I assure you!” he declared pridefuly and she blinked, still trying to get used to that idea.

“I wouldn’t give you more than thirty,” she told him, observing him attentively, and he shrugged.

“Just an extra zero. Who’s counting?”

“What about the others?”

“Hale is the youngest. He’s probably ninety, or so.”

More than one human life and he doesn’t look more than twenty.

“And Aaran?”

“Aaran is the oldest of our Race,” he told her and the tone of deference and respect that took over his voice didn’t go unnoticed. “Aaran was already a legend, when I was born.”

“You admire him a lot …” she pointed out and a sudden sadness cast a dark shadow on his eyes.

“No one understands him like I do.”

“Because you’ve shared your mind with him.” He nodded and she smiled wishing she could dispel his sorrow. A life of three hundred and fifty years … how could she even begin to try to understand him? All she could hope to give him was a little bit of happiness in the short moments they had together. “He’s lucky to have you by his side.”

“No. The lucky one is me. In more than one aspect,” he declared, his expression suddenly serious, and Sarah felt her cheeks blush as if she too had been included in that sentence.

“Hum … but if you’re born like us, does that mean you die like us? From old age?”

“That’s a bit more complicated. But I suppose the answer is yes. When following the natural course of things, as a male reaches maturity he’ll find a female companion. Our couples are made for life. However, our females are much frailer, and with time their lives become tenuous, their shadows more and more transparent, until they simply disappear. When that happens it also means the end of their companion’s life. And so, although our physical body doesn’t really age like yours do, we’re far from being eternal or immortal.”

“And what about those without a companion?” Sarah insisted and he sighed deeply.

“Those normally disappear even sooner. The darkness of a lonely existence is just too heavy to bear.”

Sarah fell silent for instants and squeezed her hands together, unsure if she should ask him her next question. Alexis kissed her hair and the cold feeling that took over his emotions left her apprehensive.

“You want to know if we can die from unnatural causes,” he guessed and she quickly shook her head, refusing to face him, although he’d clearly captured her thoughts.

“I was just wondering … ’cause you’re clearly not as vulnerable as we are, not that I really wanted to know,” she tried to find an excuse and the soft kiss he placed on her shoulder cut off the unrestrained flow of justifications filling her brain.

“It’s okay, Sarah. I understand. Especially after all you’ve been through,” he added and she finally understood that cold feeling emanating from him. It wasn’t because of her question, but because her question had reminded him of his own inability to protect her. “It’s good that you know. The only way a Human Being like you can destroy one of us is by finding the place where we sleep during the day, and choosing to attack us when the sun is in its highest. Then any normal mortal wound will do, from a shot to the head, to cutting necks or piercing hearts, as long as it’s fast. At that hour some of us can’t even open their eyes. However, any other time, we’d be too fast and agile, we’d dematerialize our bodies and use the shadows to attack you, or simply invade your mind and control you. Logically poison and other chemicals won’t work. Fire, on the other hand, can make us weak, if there’s no sun around.”

Sarah took a deep breath at the objectivity of his explanation and raised her head, caressing his face.

“That just means you’re not as invulnerable as you look …” she concluded and he laughed lightly.

“Really, only you to sum it up like that. But now at least you know how to get rid of me,” he added ironically and she punched him on the chest, tearing new laughs from his lips.

“How can you joke with a serious matter like this? I was just thinking that this place isn’t all that safe after all!” she argued and Alexis took a deep breath.

“Only from you. I assure you that no one else will be able to catch me off guard,” he still joked and she sighed, defeated.

“But if things are like that, what advantage can you possibly have openly fighting others like you?” she asked him, her analytic mind going at it again. “Shouldn’t you try to ambush them instead?”

“Things are a bit different with us. We’re able to destroy one another, even when our power is in its highest. A punch from me can never compare with a punch from a Human, Sarah,” he patiently explained as if she were a curious child and Sarah felt her cheeks blush at his condescending tone. “When we hurt ourselves while fighting we can actually damage the other’s physical body. Maybe you’ll understand it better if I tell you that it’s like we’re able to attack our true essence, since we aren’t really material beings, like you. Besides, as far as the rebels are concerned, some of us have the ability to destroy them from the inside out.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a technique that not everyone is able to master and that some who can simply refuse to use. But it’s very effective. Because they’re shadows without light, which means they’re fickle and unstable. All we have to do is to project a bit of our own light into their bodies and the difference in consistency and organization just tears them apart, disintegrating them. All that’s left is a pile of black dust, like how I showed you.”

“If it’s that simple and effective why are there some who refuse to use it?” Sarah insisted, feeling apprehensive again as a dark shadow slowly weighed on his emotions, and Alexis sighed.

“Because it consumes our own light, accelerating our descent into darkness.”

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck trying to comfort him, and placed a kiss on his naked shoulder.

“And yet you use it.” He didn’t deny it. “Hale and Aaran too?”

“Hale, yes. Aaran could never use it to begin with,” he simply answered and Sarah sighed, nodding lightly, kissing him again.

It was to be expected, she thought, if it really was like he said, and Aaran was really the oldest of his Race. Sure she didn’t know enough about Aaran, if he had a companion or not. Still, if he was the oldest of them, she couldn’t help wonder how he’d managed to extent his life for so long. And, from what she could see every time she looked at him, it was no surprise that he couldn’t use such a technique like that. Because there was nothing inside him, no light that he might be able to spare. His terrifying existence could easily be resumed to a huge agglomeration of darkness locked inside an apparently perfect body.

Sarah kissed his lips and smiled mischievously trying to pull him away from such dark thoughts.

“Anyway, you may as well behave, now that I know all these secrets about you,” she declared running her hands through his hair, and Alexis didn’t miss the opportunity to affectionately bite the tip of her nose, which made her release a small gasp of surprise.

“Maybe I’ll misbehave just to have you punish me,” he challenged her and Sarah quickly escaped his hands when he tried to grab her.

“Well, that will have to wait. I have to go, now,” she told him, sliding towards the edge of the bed. “I have to take a shower and to check on Selena,” she added, stopping to steal another cookie from the tray, but the sudden weight of his head on her shoulder froze her in place.

“Sarah … please don’t go …”

Her heart jumped, leaving a sharp pain deep in her chest. How could someone’s voice change so quickly? Just a moment ago he’d sounded light and mischievous. Now the weight that consumed him buried him in pain and insecurity, just like a child that already knows he’s going to be left behind. Not knowing how to react she forced herself to laugh.

“Come on, Alexis. Just stop …” she started to scold him but the words died on her lips. Because no matter how hard she tried to lightly brush his request away, the truth was that only she knew how deep his need really ran.

Alexis was always alone, always drowning in darkness and pain. His plea for help had been repeated so many times that it had lost its sound, falling into silence. And the worst part was that, for the second time in her life, she knew that there was nothing she could do to help him. Because like the golden-haired stranger she’d met one night, in London, Alexis was too strong, too intense, too much of everything, and too heavy for her to support. And yet she just couldn’t turn her back on him. She knew she’d probably end up crushed by his immensity, that she didn’t even know where to start when trying to encompass all of him, and that probably, this time around, no psychiatric hospital would be able to help her glue back the pieces of her being once he was through with her. But still, and against all rational thought, Sarah found herself turning to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him, as if he were no more than a child looking for a bit of love and human warmth. His arms closed around her immediately, squeezing her against his chest, and his lips blindly looked for hers, kissing her desperately. Sarah tried to keep up with him, although she felt constantly lost, and when he finally released her, her breath was ragged and wild again.

“Please be mine …”

She allowed his request to wash over her, burning her inside as she absorbed all the emotions that filled those simple words. Pain. Fear. Loneliness.

Holding his face between her hands she forced him to face her and smiled at his unsure, inhumanely bright gaze.

“I’m here, Alexis. And I’m yours,” she told him and he hugged her even harder, burying his face on her shoulder.

Sarah took a deep breath, feeling as her heart beat even faster to match his, allowing him to touch her and love her as he pleased.

* If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/

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