Chapter 6: Those Who Are Meant To Stay

The table fell silent as the adults recalled those friends with whom they had lost touch over the years. Meanwhile, the lone young man also sat in silence, thinking of those friends with whom he had spent all his school years.

While fond smiles crept into the faces of the two men and the woman as they remembered their own school days, the sixteen-year-old thought about how he would be apart from his cherished friends. The thought of not seeing them for a long time and the awkward silence that might fall between them when they met again made him sink lower into his chair.

Aanya was the first to see his fallen face. Instantly she spoke up, “But then, there are friends we haven’t drifted apart from. Your Uncle Cabir is sitting right there.”

As Aarav turned to the man he had known from his childhood, Cabir winked at him.

“Drifting apart doesn’t mean losing your friends, Aarav. Even the closest of friends at one point may drift apart...but as long as you can wholeheartedly laugh together when you meet again, you are still friends.”

“But Uncle Cabir...I don’t want to lose touch with them either...who knows, we might not be able to laugh together! Or maybe...we’ll just feel so distant that we won’t even be able to talk like we do now!”

Cabir took a deep breath and spoke very firmly, “Aarav, listen very carefully to what I’m about to say. It might sound harsh...no, it will be harsh, but it’s real, it’s life. You have to accept it. And it’s better you understand it now than later.”

Aarav swallowed while the three adults all looked over at him.

Aakash patted him on the back with a slight smile, “Don’t be so tensed. He won’t eat you up or anything.”

Aarav gave him a small smile before returning his attention to Cabir who sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“A relationship is like a two-way street. Every relationship is; be it family, friends, love...you name it. Both sides have to do their best to preserve the bond you have between you. Efforts of a single individual can only take you so far.”

He sighed again, this time longer than his previous one.

“So, as time passes...the only reason close friends drift apart is because both aren’t putting effort on keeping in contact. Feeling distant on meeting after a long time is also natural...but if you cannot laugh like old times, it means your bond has frayed immeasurably. And if it has frayed so much that even after spending time together you feel like the other party is more of a stranger...that time, my boy, is when you have truly lost a friend.”

As Aarav opened his mouth, Cabir waved him off, “We drift apart when our ties are not as strong as we think and neither of the parties involved has put enough effort into maintaining it. So, there’s still a high possibility that we can act like how we once did if we meet again years later. But when you put tremendous efforts into maintaining a friendship while the other party doesn’t, that isn’t drifting away...that’s breaking away!”

Fixing Aarav with an intent stare, he went on “If you have done your best to keep your friendship strong and haven’t received the same amount of effort in return from your ‘friend’ then...it is not your fault. That person is not someone whom you want by your side in the long run. Trying to preserve a bond is loyal act Aarav, but putting your effort into those friendships where your ‘friends’ are not doing the same will only entail pain. To be frank, it’s better to lose contact with those types of people who aren’t as true to you as you are to them.”

As Aarav’s eyes began tearing up, Cabir hastened to add, “I’m not saying this will happen to you. Maybe you and your friends will be able to keep your ties strong...but this isn’t the case for everyone.”

Stretching his arms to relieve the tension in his muscles, the man continued, “Ask yourself this. While you do your utmost to maintain your cherished bond; your ‘friend’ shows no sincerity or initiative to treasure the relationship, is that person truly, truly, worth your honest emotions?”

“But how do we know we are doing our best if we don’t keep trying all the time? Isn’t the best...doing something till the end so you have no regrets?” Aarav asked, curious yet stubborn.

His parents shared a look when they heard the boy’s question. They knew him too well, after all. Cabir too, having seen the boy grow up, was quite aware of how he was.

“Aarav is introverted and is hesitant in showing emotions for others. But this is also the very reason he’s sometimes too deeply attached to some people. To him, they are the truest of bonds since those people stayed with him regardless of his reclusive and shy personality. He’s scared of letting go. But then... it’s not only the introverts, who among us really enjoy losing connection with people we were once close to?” Cabir monologued in his mind.

“Uhh...Uncle Cabir?” Aarav prompted.

“Oh!” Cabir stumbled out of his daze. “Ah, yes. What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. Right.”

Ordering his thoughts, the man began speaking, “Look, doing one’s best is to try till the bitter end...that’s correct, but then, when the supposed ‘friend’ just leaves everything up to you for a long time...isn’t that enough to signify an ‘end’? If you continue holding onto that one bond that yields only pain for a long time, it will just become a toxic relationship that makes you feel weak because your efforts yield no results.”

Taking a sip of his Sprite, Cabir continued, “It adversely affects your good relations or even the ones you may form one day as that one relation has already left its mark. The helplessness and feeling of insincerity that you experienced in this ‘friendship’ that went on for far too long will make you view those who are actually sincere with suspicion. Anything that goes on for a very long time is bound to have an effect. Don’t you agree?”

As the boy pondered over Cabir’s words, he slowly nodded.

Smiling a little, Cabir resumed, “If you cannot see the other side’s sincerity while you have done a lot to preserve the friendship, then kid, it’s time you...let go. You may feel sad about it but when your efforts have been done with all your heart but have yielded nothing, then you should never regret. Neither your actions of preserving the bond nor your decision to let them go.”

Cabir reached over to ruffle his hair, “Remember this. For every person you lose, there will always be someone who stays by your side. That’s how you find your true friends. The ones who care about you as much as you care about them. I have a very appropriate line for you, kiddo.”

Then Cabir lifted his fork to again attack the noodles on his plate as he was almost done with what he wanted to say, “Those who are meant to stay will forever stay; but those who aren’t, no matter the circumstances, will not.”